So Says the Author: Ohhaidere.

I'm Eni. And this is my first story. And. Um. I guess I created a whole new category! Whoop-de-fucking-doo. Er, right. That's why this is T- because I'm a bad girl who likes to cuss. And thanks to the fact that this crossover is with the amazingly amazing Battlestar Galactica, I can do so.

Your argument is invalid. Max gets to cuss too, 'cuz she's a bad mommy.

So in case you're really, really, really confused like you probably should be because I'm a horrible author who doesn't explain things, here's the rundown: This springboards off the end of Daybreak, so spoiler alert. It'll be 150,000 years after the fleet-ers settle on the second Earth and Gaius builds a new harem with the cavemen. Basically, five of our favorite characters are back! :D Including Kara. I'm still not sure what the fuck was up with her, and BY THE WAY she was so cruel leaving Lee on that hill and poofing -sob-

I'm going to let you guess who the other four are. -rubs hands together with malicious intent-

The plot for the moment is a little up-in-the-air, and I honestly haven't figured it out. I can say I like to stay three chapters or so ahead of the ones posted, so yes, chapters 1-3 are written at the moment. They'll range between 1,000 and 3,000 words, and I'll update whenever I can.

I know this fic is hard to find, so I'd really appreciate reviews because they're usually the only things keeping me from abandoning my stories altogether. ;u;

Enough of my crap. Read!

Max

"God damnit," I muttered, clutching the bars of my cage in a death grip. We were at the School. In dog crates. Again.

Oh, hi there. Right. You wouldn't know a thing, unless you've been keeping up to date on my recent escapades. My name is Maximum Ride, but I really prefer Max. People only call me Maximum when a.), they're lying weasels named Jeb Batchelder; b.), when they're evil and want to sell me off to a foreign country; or usually c.), when shit hits the fan and someone's trying to get my attention.

Wait- did I mention the big important thing? I'm a bird kid, me and my flock. Hardy-har-har with the naming, I know. And no, I'm not kidding.

98% human, 2% avian. And thank the Lord that two percent granted me my feathery fun bundles, because without them I would have died a long time ago. Truth be told, without them I wouldn't be born because Maximum freakin' Ride was literally created to fly.

I'm a genetic experiment, in case you're slow on the uptake and can't take a hint.

So's my flock. There's Fang, my right-hand man, sometimes-love-interest, dark and stoic and pretty all-around badass. Iggy, the blind one (the scientists tried for night-vision, but instead he got black-vision), who can cook like a dream and has a scary penchant for explosives. Nudge, dark-skinned and fashion-obsessed, who can talk your head off with the word prompt 'toast'. Gazzy, Iggy's sidekick and the only one biologically related to anyone else in the flock. And Angel, said biologically-related person. Sweet little six year old Angel, with enough freaky mutant powers to make Magneto piss himself.

"So what's our escape plan this time?" Iggy asked, clearly just humoring me. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm rolling my eyes, Ig." Huffing in annoyance, I leaned back against the bars of my cage, positioning myself so that the freezing steel bar was clear in the middle of my back, in between my wings. Sitting back against wings = much pain. "We'll wait till that rat Jeb shows his ugly 'stache. Then we'll wait for our window. U&A first chance you get, kay guys?"

A general mutter of assent rippled throughout my flock. Morale was dormant; not low, just resigned. We all knew that escaping from the whitecoats was getting harder and harder.

Back to my latest escapade. We'd just finished up our stint in Antarctica plus the consequent hurricane survival, and after we'd ferried Total back to his furry slobbery love Akila the Alaskan Malamute, we'd continued on our merry way for some relaxation.

But nooo, the whitecoats couldn't have that. They just HAD to interrupt our pleasant vacation with tranq darts and dog crates. Hell, I didn't even know the School was still active. We'd taken down ITEX, it's biggest sponsor, but clearly they had a whole back-up system with reserve bank accounts and everything. Stupid Goddamn CIA-level paranoid villains.

"... will begin testing them shortly."

Soft voices became louder as a group whitecoats advanced up the hallway towards our room, complete with the squeaky wheels of multiple cages being moved and the hard combat-boot thumps of Flyboys doing the dirty work and pushing the carts.

The door swung open and all the shrill noise made me flinch back. A veritable conga line of cages - I counted five - were rolled in and dumped on the floor a few yards away from us. Some of the whitecoats sneered at me as they walked by, and a few of them eyed Angel hungrily. I snarled silently and moved closer to the little blonde's cage, wanting to rip the bars apart and hug her and fly away.

Then the conga line departed, robots and all, and we were left with the five newest poor saps.

"They alive?" I whispered to Angel. She nodded.

"I think so," she said quietly. "They're unconscious and loaded up with drugs, I think. I can't read anything off of them - they're too far under. But they're strong." She frowned, and there was a pause before she let out a slight, sharp intake of breath. "Military."

My eyebrows disappeared beyond my hairline, and Nudge piped up, "Military?! Are they making Captain Americas or something?"

"No, they're not... Weird." Angel began muttering to herself. "They're not American. I can't tell anything else, we'll have to wait until they wake up."

"They've been here before."

Both me and Angel jumped at this foreign voice. Looking up in surprise, I saw a tall, stunningly beautiful blonde lady standing in the middle of the room. She was ethereal- too perfect. She was wearing a funky red dress that looked entirely too revealing.

"What do you mean by that? How did you get here?" I demanded, a little spooked. My emotional defenses kicked in, turning inward fear into outward snarkiness. "Last I checked I ordered a 40-piece McNugget Happy Meal, not a side of Xena, Fashion Princess."

"Who are you talking to, Max?" Fang asked.

I swung around, staring at him in disbelief. "The Amazon goddess standing in the middle of our hellhole."

"They can't see her, Max," Angel said softly, gazing at the woman in rapture. "What do you mean, they've been here before?"

The woman smiled, razorsharp. "All of this has happened before, and all of it will happen again. The cycle is beginning anew. The children of the ancestors of humanity have returned, armed with the secrets the Five failed to bestow." Her grin turned feral. "The remnants of the twelve colonies have risen again."

Then I blinked, and she was gone.

"Joint hallucination?" I asked Angel, voice a little shaky. Snarkiness could not dispel my fear this time.

"No." If there had been more light, I bet my feathers there would have been an awestruck glow in Angel's eyes. "More like divine intervention."

And lo and behold, our five new friends woke up.

So Says the Author: Aha, torturous cliffhanger prologue-thingy!

Eni is so cruel. Oh, yes, Ms. Amazon is indeed a Six. Incidentally, the same Six that appeared to Baltar throughout the series. -cough sheandtheBaltarthatappearsto CapricaareGod cough- Spoiler alert, people.

Please review, it would absolutely make my day!

- Eni