The Moment I Said It
A Criminal Minds One Shot
"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back."
-Barbara De Angelis
"We are not getting into this Ellie…not here anyway," Spender Reid said to his companion as they got on the elevator together. The young woman next to him was slender only standing at about 5' 4'' in her mid to late twenties. She sighed and rolled her eyes at him as she flicked her blonde shoulder length hair back behind one ear before handing him back his coffee. Her stunning blue eyes searched him longingly as he took the coffee from her gingerly, a weak smile on his face.
"Spence come on! We live together; don't you think they've already figured it out? We profile people for a living! I know we all profile each other on a daily basis even though we say we don't," Ellie said as she took a sip of her tea. He only raised his eyebrows at her and nodded before giving her a quick kiss on the forehead.
"Please, not now," He whispered as the doors opened and they spilt ways to go sit at their desks.
"You two both look a little aggravated this morning, is everything alright? Did she mess up your coffee?" Derek Morgan asked a huge smirk on his face as Reid sat down. Ellie liked Morgan, but hated when he liked to pry a little.
"I ordered coffee this morning…" Reid said lightly.
"Oh come on Reid! Spill it man! We all know you've got a little thing for Ellie. How does she like her coffee?"
"She doesn't drink coffee, she says it only wears out the body and is more addictive than cigarettes and alcohol combined. Which makes sense when you…"
"Kid, I was only teasing you," Morgan replied as he patted them on the shoulder. Just then the BAU supervisor Aaron Hotchner called everyone into a meeting. As the team walked they all talked and made jokes like every other normal day. It helped get through it better. Seeing all that horror, you had to make some jokes to get by. J.J was waiting as the team took their seats. As always her face was somber.
"Norfolk Virginia, twenty women have gone missing over the last year. Over the course of the last month one by one their dead bodies have starting showing up, dumped in front lawns of military families, well…parts of them. So far they've found ten bodies. The original coroner's report had the time of death about 72 hours after they had last been seen, but upon further investigation they found he's freezing bodies," J.J told us flashing a few images upon the screen. Hotch had a puzzled look on his face.
"He keeps them for 72 hours then kills them. But the fact that he is freezing them, it suggests that they mean more to him dead than alive. But they way he disposes of them suggest resentment and anger. And why keep them for a year and then all of the sudden dumb their dismembered bodies on lawns? "
"Well about 24 hours ago two more women that fit his type went missing. Local police believe that he might be starting over with a fresh batch. This is Allison Green, and Jamie Oliver. They were both seen together at the local concert at a popular college bar. Both are 24 years old and attending the same college. The local police are stumped and want us to try and help us find these two girls before it's too late."
"Or before he gets bored again…" Reid said trailing off. He exchanged looks with Ellie as the team got up to go collect their overnight bags. Ellie went on a head to the car as Morgan pulled Reid aside.
"Are you sure everything is okay?"
"Yeah, everything is fine… I just think I need to tell Ellie how I feel…she fits the unsub's type…this case could be really dangerous for her…"
"Hotch would never do anything to put us in any extreme danger."
"I know that, but there have been too many times that we weren't protected at all times. Like when Elle got shot, I got kidnapped and when Emily…" Reid trailed off again. Morgan hung his head a little and gave Reid another pat on the shoulder.
"I know kid, I know. Then what are you waiting for? Go talk to her," He said. Reid nodded and took off toward the parking garage where Ellie was. When he saw her walking toward their car he shouted her name and ran towards her.
"Ellie, wait up!" She smiled and stopped to wait for him and gladly returned the kiss he gave her when he caught up.
"We should tell the team."
"Really? What made you change your mind?" she asked her eyes lighting up along with another smile spreading across her face. Reid kissed her again and popped the trunk of the car.
"I don't know, something about this case just made me realize that I should tell everyone that you're my girl and that I'll look after you no matter what," Reid told her softly. She grinned and nudged her gun indicating that she could hold her own.
"Thanks babe. I know you'll always have my back, and I'll always have yours too, I promise." They grabbed their bags and headed back to the office to get ready for takeoff. As they walked Ellie couldn't help but let out a soft sigh of happiness. The BAU had been very accepting of her since Agent Emily Prentiss died and she replaced her. Spencer was the most accepting, moving a fast paced friendship into a fast lane relationship. She loved it, the life they had. She had a new best friend, a partner and fantastic sex. A little bit before their year anniversary they moved in together and things had just been going so great. Of course they had some disagreements, it's hard not to when your boyfriend is a genius. But he loved her, and she loved him right back and that's really what mattered to them.
"Hey I need to talk to Garcia really quick before we take off," Reid said to Ellie. She nodded and went to go talk to Hotch. Reid slipped into Garcia's office and knocked softly on the door.
"Hey Garcia, may I talk to you for a second?"
"Speak wonder-boy and I will listen," She said with a smile. He smiled weakly back and cleared his throat.
"I know it's not a secret around here that Ellie and I are romantically involved…"
"Oh god no! I hate to tell you honey but everybody knows."
"I, ah, kind of figured…but I wanted your opinion on something," Reid finished blushing a little.
"Ask away my child."
"You see, it's been about a year and a half and I was thinking about asking Ellie to marry me. I've got a ring and everything…" He said. There was a pause from Garcia and then she burst into a high pitched squeal and jumped to her feet to give Reid a hug.
"But don't tell anyone please?"
"My lips are sealed!" She replied making a zipping and locking motion over her mouth. Morgan popped his head in and told the two that it was time to get on the plane to leave.
"What's with everyone today?"
"What do you mean?" Garcia asked Morgan kindly as the three of them walked.
"Everyone is just weird today… that's all…" Morgan said eyeing Reid with an amused look on his face. Reid shrugged to which Garcia smiled widely.
"It's just because we can't match how awesome you are sugar that's all," She told Morgan as he pulled her into a hug. Reid internally sighed. Once the plane took off everyone settled into a somber mood as crime scene photos were passed around. Though no one said it, everyone was thinking how Ellie matched his victims to a tee.
"Garcia when we get there I want you looking into everything you can find on our missing girls. Reid and Morgan I want you two to take the crime scene Rossi; I'll have you and the locals talking to families and Agent Finn you and I will go and talk to the medical examiner to check out the latest body," Hotch told everyone. Nobody really spoke just nodded at first. Then Ellie spoke up as she was gazing at one of the photos.
"He has medical knowledge I believe…look at how they are dismembered. He did it at the joints, that at least gives us basic medical knowledge, maybe took an anatomy class?" She suggested.
"That doesn't help rule out much, we'll find out more when we talked to the coroner. Maybe he took more than just a class."
"Look how what's left of them is posed. He doesn't just dump them; he swaddles them, like a baby. It's not remorse though," Morgan replied.
"Well we do know that they mean more to him as a corpse than they do alive, they're like a part of him, and when he can't use them anymore, he leaves them so they become someone else's problem," Rossi said.
"He only takes the legs. Why? What is so important to him that he has to take just their legs?" Ellie added looking at the photos. She placed them down and the table as everyone else took a quick look. Morgan looked confused.
"Maybe he's handicapped? His legs don't work, so he takes theirs?" Reid said. A light bulb seemed to go off in his head. "Then he'd need a partner to help kidnap and dump the bodies."
"We don't know enough to be able to go with that but we can't rule it out yet either. It's still possible that this unsub is acting alone. We'll know more soon. Everybody take a break and clear your mind a bit. This case is a tough one and we need to go into it with fresh eyes and minds. We land in ten," Hotchner said. When the plane landed and bags were checked into the hotel the team split up into the set teams.
"Agent Hotchner, glad you could make it here," A tall graying man said as Ellie and Hotch entered the office. Quick words were exchanged and then the group went into the morgue to look at the latest bodies.
"This one was unusual for him, he dumped two instead of one," The coroner Glenn Dickers said to the two FBI agents.
"And then he went out and took two more to replace them. Its seems like he's getting desperate. Maybe soon he'll slip up," Ellie said. The two men nodded.
"What were the causes of deaths?" Hotchner asked as Dickers pulled back the sheet on the first woman.
"This is Victoria Haywood cause of death was blunt force trauma to the head like all the others. The dismemberment of the legs was very skillful done with a surgical instrument. Not just anyone who's taken an anatomy class could have done this. This type of skill was done by someone who cuts meat, or a surgeon," The older man told them.
"Could it also have been a nursing student or an intern surgeon?"
"It's possible…but I really have no way of knowing that. Whoever did this was not the squeamish type, that's for sure."
Reid and Morgan both sighed as they walked out onto the lawn of the latest dumpsite. It seemed like your average neighborhood, good looking homes, and nice cars in the driveway. It was probably pretty upsetting when the bodies were found.
"So dumping them here creates a bit of a panic, gives him pleasure," Reid mused.
"But why would I risk dumping them here? It's well lit, and even if I knew I wasn't going to get caught the chances of somebody seeing me are incredibly high," Morgan said bending down and gazing about the neighborhood. Reid stood and looked at the windows.
"What if somebody did see something? Morgan we should talk to the locals and find out what they saw," Reid said. Morgan nodded and they began knocking on doors. They didn't get too much; nobody really saw anything or didn't want to say. But one woman did.
"Mrs. Jackson, would you mind coming down to the station and giving us some more information on what you saw last night? It would be safer to talk there than here," Morgan said. The mid forties woman nodded and told the agents as soon as she got someone to watch her children she'd meet them there. Reid assured her that they'd be waiting for her there.
"Hotch we found a lead, she's coming in now," Morgan said to the BAU supervisor. Hotchner nodded and told Morgan to interview her when she got here. Ellie and Garcia and Rossi were working out some issues with the profile.
"He has to drive something that he can hide a body in, and if he is handicapped it's be a big van for a wheelchair. He has to have access to a freezer, so a butcher makes a lot of sense. They have vans that they can use for deliveries that are refrigerated," Ellie said mulling things over as she looked at photos on the wall. Rossi made a face.
"What do they all have in common?"
"So far, that they all went to the same college, but that doesn't narrow anything down at all since it's a big college," Garcia replied. Again Rossi made another face. Ellie had fallen silent as she was looking at the crime scene photos.
"All the dumpsites are lawns of families with connections to the military in some way right? Did the victims have any connections to that at all? I know that in a way we all do because we all get called by the recruiters but anything beyond that?" She asked turning to face the other two. Garcia began typing away with Rossi and Ellie waited. Reid came over and joined them as Garcia continued to type.
"They all were scheduled to go to some form of basic camp in the next year. That's all I can find so far," She said meekly.
"So the military families are some kind of statement for him? Maybe a resentment of some type?" Reid said standing next to Ellie. She gave him a soft smile and resisted the urge she had to hold his hand. He sensed that and took her hand in his anyway.
"Remember, they already know," He whispered to her. She nodded and smiled again.
"But that leaves a gap because how does he have access to the girls if he's a butcher? Several of our girls are vegetarians," Garcia said. Reid perked up.
"So that helps the profile and rules out a possibility! He's most likely in the military and a doctor of some sort. There's a base here isn't there Garcia?" Reid said. There was a brief pause and clacking of keys and then a nod from Garcia.
"I'm going to go tell Hotch," Reid said grabbing Ellie's face and kissing her forehead. Rossi and Garcia gave her sly looks as she blushed a little. Reid quickly made his way across the station where Hotchner was watching Morgan conduct the interview with Mrs. Jackson.
"What did you see last night?" Morgan asked kindly. Aaron Hotchner stood with his arms crossed over his chest and that to familiar look on his face. Reid waited before he said anything.
"I heard noises outside; I thought it was that raccoon family getting into the trash again so I peeked out the curtain and saw a man dressed in black, walking outside. I thought it was a little weird but I didn't say anything to anyone because we get some weird people that go through our trashes, drunks and that sort. I also didn't want to scare my children," The woman told Morgan. He nodded and listened thoughtfully.
"What kind of car was he driving, if you saw one at all?"
"He had a military coroner van I'm pretty sure. All I remember was a big van with government state plates. Please tell me that my children and I will be safe where we are?" she asked Morgan desperately. Morgan nodded and reached across the table to hold her hand.
"We got a break. We know he's not a butcher because some of the victims are vegetarians. They all also share the military link. All of the victims were due to go to basic within the next year. Something about the military he resents even though he's a part of it," Reid said. Hotch nodded and patted Reid on the back.
"Good work. Go join the other's we should give out our first profile to the police," Hotchner said to Reid. Reid nodded and did as he was told. Rossi, Garcia and J.J. were giving Reid and Ellie looks of approval as Morgan and Hotch joined the group so that they could give the profile to the local PD.
"This profile is just a rough guide, and is not to be released to the press yet. We know that this man is in the military as some kind of doctor with access to the state vans, and some sort of freezer. He works a lone, and is not handicapped. He will be young in his late thirties to early forties. His killings are a sort of revenge and the taking of the legs mean something to him. He is white; less than six feet tall and we believe he is in a psychotic break. We don't know his stressor yet but it will have to do with someone close to him, a family member or a spouse losing the use of their legs within the last year. Be on your look out for this man, he is dangerous and will attack if not approached in the right way. Please be on your guard," Hotch told everyone. They split back up and went back out to go question people more and try to find the unsub. Before the teams split up Reid pulled Ellie aside.
"What is it Spence?" She asked as he took her hands in his. She could tell he was a little nervous about something because his breathing was a little fast and his hands were shaking a bit. He didn't look her right in the eye at first.
"I'm worried about you begin on this case, El. You fit his type and he's going out of control. We just got confirmation that he's taken two more girls. They'll probably show up dead within a few hours. And I know that you're aware of how much I care about you, but I couldn't take it if I had to lose you."
"Spence, I'll be fine. You worry too much," She replied letting go of one of his hands and cupping his face in her hand. He didn't smile back when she did and she began to get worried.
"Are you sure everything is okay?" she asked him. He nodded and cleared his throat.
"I ,ah, I wanted to make this…a little er… more romantic but sometimes you just know when the moment is right, and right now is that moment."
"What are you talking about?" Ellie asked confused. Spencer let go of her hands and dropped down to one knee and pulled out the ring box. Ellie started to cry a little, completely shocked.
"I want you to be my wife Evelyn Finn. What do you say?" He asked grinning. She just nodded and threw herself on him. He laughed as she tried to contain herself. They didn't realize the other were watching nearby but everyone was just as excited.
"Would it be okay with you if I don't wear the ring till we're done with this case? I don't want anything to happen to it," She said concerned. Reid accepted that that would be just fine and kissed his new fiancé before they had to go and catch the bad guy.
"Congratulations Evelyn, it's about time," Hotchner teased as they got into the car to go question some people on the base medical office and see what they knew.
"You know, you're the only person besides my grandfather that calls me Evelyn? He said it made me seem lady like and elegant."
"You miss him don't you?"
"Something terrible. I know he and Spence would have gotten along great. I always have to check in with grandma now, when I get to work, and what we're doing and how dangerous it is. She doesn't do that for any of my other siblings."
"But it's for the greater good. Your grandpa was a cop, so she knows what you go through from his stories. Take it as a sign she loves you, she just wants to know that you made it through the day safely. After all it's in her nature, she did raise you," Hotch replied. He knew Ellie's grandfather well, and the families were pretty close. It had helped Ellie get this job.
"You never know, maybe when Jack gets older he'll be calling you to make sure you're okay," Ellie replied laughing a little as they stopped and got out of the car. The base was quiet as they got out and entered the small sort of makeshift hospital and morgue.
"Hotch, he could be here, or keeping them here. There's a morgue…" Ellie said exchanging looks with him. He nodded and they both kept their fire arms ready and close. When they entered the building they found it to be out of service and rundown. But the groundskeeper was willing to talk to them about it.
"They shut this down in the late 70's, but we have been keeping it at least stable in case we need to reopen it at any point," The mid thirties man Sergeant James Hollingsworth told them. Ellie was only half listening, because she was sensing that some on other than the three of them were here.
"So the building doesn't have any electricity at all correct?"
"No sir it does not," Hollingsworth replied. Ellie shook her head.
"I hear a generator running… it's not coming from the airport terminal nearby either. Somebody is using part of this building," Ellie said un-holstering her weapon and heading into the building. The men were right on her heels, but in the darkness of the building they lost her fairly quickly.
"Stop," Hotch, said holding his hand out and stopping the sergeant in his tracks. "Do you hear that? The footsteps over the generator? They aren't Ellie's, she walks really light. The unsub must be here. We'll try and flank him from behind," Hotch instructed. Just as they started a loud scream echoed through the building.
"Evelyn? Evelyn!" Nothing. Hotch took off at a dead sprint and ended up running right into the morgue.
"Morgan? You better get the team down here…we just found our four missing girls and the rest of the other ten…" Hotchner said getting on the phone. Things were still silent and eerie as they waited. Ellie was nowhere to be found when the others arrived.
"Hotch, where's Ellie?" Reid said as everyone gathered outside. Hotch shook his head.
"She saw the unsub and took off before I could advice her not to. We lost her inside the building and he got her. We heard her scream…" Hotch said. The head of the Army Base was called out to turn on all the power and the crime scene units were also called out to check out the morgue.
"He'll have to change the location, since this was his primary place to kill," Morgan said. Reid was still in disbelief, while J.J. comforted him.
"We'll need a list of everyone that checked in today, because you have to show your I.D. to get into the base," Rossi said.
"Agent Hotchner, you guys need to take a look at this…" someone called indicating toward the morgue. Everyone followed hesitantly, wishing they could be out looking out for Ellie instead. When they entered the morgue it was very clear why he was freezing them.
"Oh god, he's eating them," J.J said as Reid let out a incredibly sad sigh.
"That's why he keeps them so long… he eats the legs…" Rossi mumbled. It became clear that Ellie did not have much time and the search began.
"We'll spilt up and search the building to see if he's left anything else here for us to find," Hotch said. Reid paired up with J.J and Morgan and Rossi and Hotch went up to the second floor to check it out. The old hospital was a maze of hallways and rooms, most in disrepair.
"Hey J.J….I've got fresh blood here…this might be where he over powered Ellie and took her…" Reid proclaimed as he knelt by it. His face was full of sadness and hopelessness as he stared at the puddle of blood. Just a little over an hour ago he was so happy and full of life. Now he felt lost and in despair.
"Hey kid, we'll find her, and she'll be alright okay?" Morgan told Reid with a stern look. Reid only nodded. Just then Morgan's phone rang.
"They figured out who our unsub is and want us to meet back at the station," He told the other two. Garcia was waiting anxiously when they all arrived. Like Reid she didn't take the news of Ellie's disappearance well at all.
"You're gonna find her right?"
"Of course baby girl, we're going to do everything we possibly can. Right now we need to you tell us everything on our guy Butler alright?" Morgan told her. She nodded and began working her magic with the computer and pulled up every record on Clinton Butler.
"Our guy is 46 years old lives close to the base and takes care of his kid sister Lisa. Oh…she was in a car accident last year and was paralyzed from the waist down."
"There's our stressor…"
"He has no criminal record but was diagnosed with schizophrenia when he was 16. He was taken to a mental institution until he was 20 years of age, when he was released, joined the army and began living with his sister so she could help him out. He works as a medical assistant across seas until he was declared un-fit for duty and given the job as the second groundskeeper for the medical building. Oh…his sister was in a car accident two years ago and was paralyzed from the waist down and then died due to complications with her surgery."
"Well that's our stressor…"
"After his sister passed away he was placed in a halfway house, to give him more freedom to come and go, unlike an institution," Garcia finished.
"What happened to the sister's house after she passed?" Rossi asked Garcia.
"Clinton is the only living member in his family, and the house was to go to him in her will, even though he's not staying there it remains currently unused sir."
"That must be where he has Ellie!" Reid cried out. Hotch nodded and they loaded up in the cars and prepared to go rescue Ellie before it was too late.
"Where am I?" Ellie asked groggy as she looked around. Her head hurt, and everything was a bit hazy. Faint light was streaming in the boarded up windows. There was a man sitting on a grubby couch watching her.
"You….you're the unsub aren't you?" Ellie whispered to him. He turned and glared at her and then stood up and came toward her.
"You've done just enough talking you have," He growled grabbing her roughly and yanking her up off of her knees where she was crouched. She stumbled because her arms and legs were tried.
"Let go of me!" She screamed fighting back the best she could. He retaliated by slapping her hard across the face. Ellie hissed at him and lurched back, biting him on the shoulder. He cried out in pain and slapped her again before throwing her roughly onto a strange looking table. There he tied her to the table and pulled out his tool kit.
"I've had just about enough of you," He said laughing evilly. Ellie let out a murmured cry as he took a rag and used it as a gag to shut her up. Tears began to follow from her eyes. Her weapon was gone, he bound her so tight she wasn't sure she'd be able to break free and even if she did it'd be hard for her to fight him because he was a fair amount taller than her, and she wasn't going to be able to fight him off for long. As he set out his surgical tools and tire iron Ellie began to struggle more, panicking. "You just had to meddle where you don't belong, didn't you FBI? You just had to try and stop me from doing what my sister would have wanted me to do…" he cut off when there was a loud crash from another room. Ellie let out a muffled scream. She could hear her teammate's voices as they got closer. She let out another scream as the unsub rounded on her to shut her up.
"Oh no you don't!" He cried as he raised the tire iron above his head to bring it down on her skull. Just then she heard Hotch's voice.
"FBI, drop the weapon!" When nothing happened and she could still see the tire iron and her impending doom she let out another scream. Then a shot was fired. Ellie couldn't keep herself clam and began to freak out a little. Suddenly she felt a familiar hand holding hers and then Reid's face above hers.
"Its okay sweetheart, everything this alright," He told her holding her hand. Morgan came over and began to untie her as Reid stayed true to his promise and never leaving her side. Then both of them lead her out to the ambulance where she was happily greeted by the rest of the team. After a quick look over and a couple of band aids Ellie and Reid were left to have a moment alone while the team looked on.
"I thought I had lost you…." Reid said hugging her tight. She embraced him back and let out a soft sob. "I was seriously so afraid that he was going to kill you and then next service I'd be attending would be your memorial service. I'm just so glad that you're okay, and I never want to have to live that horror again," Spencer whispered in his lover's ear.
"I love you…"
"I love you too."
"Do you think that they'll make it?" Garcia asked. Derek knew right away she wasn't really talking about their upcoming marriage.
"Yeah, I know they will. These things suck when they happen but they usually bring people even closer together afterward," He said with a small smile. Then he let out a chuckle. "How much do you want to bet that they'll be having 'I-thought-you-were-dead-sex' when they get home?" Morgan joked. Garcia just chuckled.
"Isn't that like make up sex, only a little better?"
"Something like that," Morgan replied laughing again. As the team talked about the success of the rescue and case Hotch was on the sidelines making a phone call.
"Melanie? This is Aaron Hotchner, I am your granddaughter's supervisor and I use to work with your husband when I was a rookie. I'm doing really well thank you very much, I hope you're doing well." There was brief pause and a bit laugh from Aaron as he listened to what the old woman and friend had to say. "No, no I assure you everything is fine. That's actually why I'm calling. Sometimes I think we need to hear from someone else that everything is just fine. So I just wanted you to hear from somebody other than Evelyn that she was doing just fine. I'm sure you'll be hearing from her soon, she's got some big news to tell you." The plane ride was short and all Reid wanted to do was fall asleep with his new fiancé in his arms and know that everything was alright. And judging by the looking on Ellie's face she was thinking the same thing. Their life wasn't perfect but it was close enough that it didn't matter to them.
"When you are in love you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."
-Dr. Seuss