"In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him."
Kallen visits Britannia for the first time since she was 7 years old to see the newly constructed city of New Pendragon. She's been in the city for three days, and what she came to do officially, (pledge alliance to the new world government, the United Nations, who are now permanently situated in Britannia's capital) is done, and she may leave whenever she wants to.
Kallen is not thinking of staying or leaving though. She's thinking of Lelouch.
Again.
She sits in one of the many gardens of the recently reconstructed palace, starring at nothing. Footsteps interrupt her brooding, and a voice.
Zero.
Kallen doesn't know this Zero. She's done everything she possibly can in the six months since Lelouch's death to stay away from him without it being too obvious. So far she's succeeded. She's been in the same place as him only seven times, and not one of those alone. He's spoken to her only twice.
Kallen and Zero are strangers, so its not strange at all that she does not understand his actions and motivations. All that she knows about Zero is this: he is the destroyer of the old Britannia, and he's the protector of Nunnally.
(All Kallen cares about is that Zero- this Zero- is the man who Lelouch entrusted the world to.)
No, Kallen doesn't know Zero at all. But apparently, Zero knows her.
"Are you still in love with the dead Kouzuki Kallen?" he asks her.
She stiffens and turns to look at him. Somehow, the way he carries himself is familiar. Which is odd; his mask is blank, his voice flat and distorted, and his posture stiff and formal. She wonders about him. And how is it that he knows her thoughts?
Zero walks forward and sits besides her. They do not look at each other, or speak to each other after that sentence, but as he sits there, suddenly, Kallen does understand.
She knows he's thinking about the 99th Britannian emperor, remembering the good things about him, not the bad. She knows this because… Zero's mind is very similar to her own. She knows this simply by being besides him. (How?)
Impulsively, she asks, "Have you ever been in love, Zero?", because she can empathize with him, but has never known him. He's a stranger. Still, some things she does know: she knows he's smiling bitterly underneath the mask, even though the face that is making that expression is unknown. (How?)
He responds: "Three times", and Kallen tilts her head towards him to give Zero a cynical smile. His voice is perfectly controlled, distorted and unfeeling through the mask, yet still she knows his thoughts. (HOW?)
"Lelouch?" she inquires. He nods.
And suddenly, she realizes: they are the same. Zero and her. Two sides of the same coin.
Kallen smiles at the irony. In the end, it is not Nunnally, Lelouch's sister who understands why Kallen had loved the man (though the young empress tries. Its just not the same though, Nunnally loves and always will love Lelouch. But it's not the same). In the end the one who understands Kallen's love is Zero.
(Kallen has spent six months unable to tell someone, anyone why she'd loved Lelouch. Tell anyone that she'd loved him more than her life, more than the world, more than Japan and freedom. Kallen doesn't have to tell this to Zero though. Lelouch's killer already knows. More than that, Lelouch's killer understands)
Zero stands, gracefully, and so very different from the Zero she'd sworn her life and loyalty to, but he's Zero nonetheless.
Zero, the man who makes miracles happen.
Zero, the man who makes dreams come true.
"I-" she says, (but really what she wants to say is "Help me. Tell me. How?")
Zero looks down. She's half sitting half kneeling in front of
(the man who she knew, but had never met, or spoken to, somehow.)
Zero.
Kallen stands up as well.
They are the same. (Even though that's impossible. Zero is a hero. An icon, a savior… he will be remembered forever. Kallen's just a girl who became a pawn who became a queen… but even the strongest piece on the chessboard can fall and die.)
"Close your eyes, Kallen" he asks, and she does.
She hears him unfasten his mask, and slide down the cloth that she knows is there. She imagines he's Lelouch. (She doesn't open her eyes; she doesn't want to see that he's not Lelouch)
He steps forward. He leans down.
Kallen has never been kissed before. She's kissed before, but to a girl it's not the same.
Its rather innocent: His lips on hers, pressing softly. But that is not their nature. The kiss evolves. She opens her mouth, and his tongue darts out into it, and she moves hers as well. His hands grab her waist and bring her closer; hers go to his hair and pull him down.
They fight.
Against fate, that has taken their loved one away. Against reality, that forces them to continue fighting, for who and for what is distorted, changed, but unfortunately still necessary. Against despair, that wants to take a hold of the world and never let go.
They kiss.
Kallen never opens her eyes.
When Zero pulls away she steps back and lowers her head. She waits until she hears the familiar 'click' of the mask go back into place. He waits for her to look at him, (familiar purple robes, and mask) then he turns around and walks away.
Kallen watches him go.
Kallen wonders who Zero is.
AN:The summary quote is from the book Ender's Game, by Orson Scott Card, one of my favorites. The title is a word play of the same book.
I believe that Suzaku wouldn't tell many of his identity after killing Lelouch, so I wrote this under the supposition that Kallen doesn't know. I imagine eventually she'll figure it out, but too soon.