Sylvester and Tweety:
Sylvester's Story!
It is hard being a cat. We are small and frail creatures, and we have to watch out for crazy dogs and cat snatchers. I know cats with horrible owners, cats run over by people's cars, even cats that are forgotten and lost. We need our nine lives, just as much as man needing electricity. With that said and done, I am mildly fortunate. I live in an old, cosy home in a peaceful (ha!) neighbourhood with my dear Granny who has taken care of me ever since my Paa and Ma kicked me out of their home when I was a dim-witted teenager... and then there's Tweety. Granny's cutsie, yellow pet. It was me who was the cute one before that bitesize canary moved in!
The bird is cunning. Don't be fooled by it's bubbly singing or innocent blue eyes. Under that adorable demeanour, is a sly fox. I had planned to eat that delectable morsel, but Tweety was always ahead of me. With every failing, it has made me more devious and stupid at the same time. I grew restless at times chasing the yellow bird; Granny is aloof and unsympathetic – when the fault is Tweety's after the authentic jade or china break, she blames me?!
Granny and her old pals had gone bowling. Please, don't ask why! It was a perfect opportunity to have canary fondue for dinner. Tweety was singing a sweet lullaby at his cage hanging on a hook in the living room. The woody TV was at the corner, switched off and the pink sofa with thousands of tiny lilacs drawn onto the fabric had an mold imprint of Granny's buttocks. I normally slept on the rug below, I was far away from problems of the present, resting like a kitten. I was pretending to be asleep, I had a close eye on Tweety bird above me. I waited there, like a spider waiting for unsuspecting flies to get caught in it's web. I waited and waited... yet Tweety was still singing it's lullaby. The maddening lullaby would make any cat insane, I have been it's victim long past.
I turned my head towards the clock at the fireplace. Oh, it's only ten past eight. ONLY TEN PAST EIGHT! IT ONLY BEEN TEN MINUTES! How?! It felt like hours gone by as if you were watching a marathon of Harry Potter movies! The bird must have conjured a despicable spell. Yeah, that's right. It got sorcery lessons from the neighbour witch. My panther-like instincts kicked in and I pounced on the cage. Tweety was clearly flustered, you should have saw it's puny frown. I opened the cage door, and grabbed at the little birdie. "Hold still you feathery treat! You can't always trust on your smarts and magic, soon you will reside in my insides." Tweety was not giving up easily, it still held on to it's dear life, was panting heavily too, but my paws were too slow for plucking slippery things like Tweety.
It tried to escape from the only exit and that was the open door. I put my mouth agape at the entrance, the yellow bird flew in unexpectedly, so I shut my mouth and tried to chew him into swallow-able chunks, but the small fry stuck to the palate like a stubborn piece of chewing gum that the maid couldn't remove from under the table. I would assure you that was not pleasant. I tasted the mouth-watering birdie on the tip of my tongue; it made me salivate prodigiously, yet I was not satisfied until it slithered down my throat. It grew from simple annoyance to extreme infuriation as it plucked a tiny feather which I guess was from it's bottom and began to tickle my uvula. It wanted me to suffer, I know it. I resisted the temptation to gag as best I could, but there was no end to it's tickling. "No, no, no pussy cat. You've been very disobedient. Granny would not like that. Not one bit. This doesn't hurt right? No? Then you won't mind if I use two then do ya?!"
My gag reflex was acting up, still my mouth was shut. I had to think fast. Spitting the canary out into a hot broth, ready to be boiled alive ain't a bad idea, then I will close it quickly with the lid. I ran to the kitchen to switch the stove on, and filled a saucepan with water. I desperately wanted the water to boil soon, I couldn't hold it in for long. "What are you doing out there? I am losing my patience pussy, I hope you're not cooking another one of your foul tricks?" Tweety was chirping again, I ignored whatever it said.
I spat my dinner into the boiling water, immediately shut it and threw up in the nearest carrier bag from the shopping from before. Unluckily for me, it had tins of my favourite cat food. I cursed and muttered under my breath, but I thought finally, the bird is mine after all these years of crashing, bumping and chasing, I get what I deserved for all my efforts.
It was nine o'clock, it had been twenty minutes since I boiled Tweety. It probably is done by now, must have been cooking pretty well and I wondering what I could put in the stew. Carrots maybe... yuck Rabbit's food, oooh Chinese food sounds nice, I thought to myself.
I went back to the kitchen, slowly opened the lid, and peered inside. There it was, on top of a mini floating pool chair with it's eyes closed, it had a delicate petunia in it's grasp, and a small note tucked under it's wing away from the water. Odd. Where did it get all that stuff? Was it even dead?! I stared at it suspiciously and took the note from it's hands. I opened it out and it read
Dear Pussy Tat,
I am sorry for all the troubles I have caused. Perhaps I can rest in peace, knowing that I am not cremated or buried, but am inside your belly. Who knows, maybe I can haunt you in my afterlife! I have nothing else to give you except this lovely petunia Pussy. I have also written my will.
All my birdy possessions (my swing, the lifetime supply of seeds, and my collection of bird cages etc) will be given to my other canary friends like Cuckoo, Florey or Chirpy. Granny will keep my original bird cage from the living room, something for her to remember me by.
I have also trusted Foghorn Leghorn to hold 25% shares of my Bird in Banana Tree Corporation, my daughter will own the rest.
….
Pussy Cat, I pray you don't got no guilty conscience – because, whatever you may say or do, I will always love you.
Love
Tweety Bird
What?! What?! He does not give me anything except a dinky little petunia? Why I oughta swallow him whole! But, he did mentioned something about haunting me. I felt nauseous and went to sit down. It was a lot to take, and my emotions were confused, just like my stomach. I did not whether I should have felt happy, angry, guilty or even sad.
My eyes started watering up; a teensy tear drop began to move steadily to my whiskers, and it was left hanging at the end. It dripped. Then I realized it. I have been a bad cat! I have to undo my wrong. I too started to pray, to the cat god above. "Whoever up there, I know you are listening, so LISTEN UP! I know I ain't a saint, but I'm about to change that! I won't harm any bird for the rest of my life, I swear it! I won't harm a fly too, not another living thing! Maybe dogs though, but only for self defence."
I got up, I was slouched, and I kept my head down. I walked over to the saucepan to get another look at Tweety before I bury him in the backyard. My stomach started to growl, "Be quiet! Can't a cat mourn on an empty belly." I glanced at the insides of the saucepan, Tweety was missing! Who, what, where!? Did he turn into a ghost and fluttered away? I was speechless, unless of course it was still alive.
"Hello pussy tat!" It was Tweety, he was near the window that was half-open. He was holding a couple of tapes, he was handing them out to his other canary friends outside. I wondered what they were, but my heart soared nevertheless. "Tweety! You're alive! You know I will never try anything unless I'm provoked from now on!" I said. Tweety looked bemused. "Really, I tawt u not gonna hurt any living animal. Those tapes prove it."
I started to go red, if the cats know about this, I would never able to face my feline pals ever again. They'll all point and laugh, "Hey, look there goes Sylvester. He chases around a teensy insignificant yellow bird all day long, he must think he's Granny's favourite pet!"
"Ummm, what are you doing?" I heard Tweety's voice, but it was only a quiet whisper to me. My consciousness was not at the present reality, instead I slipped into a different world in my head! I saw the cats laughing at me, Tweety was there too, and even Granny was trying to stifle her laughter, all in vain. They all pointed at me, and soon they looked scornful, as if they could not bare the sight of me. My embarrassment turned to shame as I drooped my head, and I was sinking. Yes, I was literally swallowed by the ground around me. I struggled yet no-one came to lend a hand and found myself falling into the dark abyss.
I hit the surface, the shock brought me out of my strange nightmare. I was tucked in Granny's bed, I usually wasn't allowed to sit on it, let alone be under the covers. My weary eyes looked around, there was milk and cookies by the bedside. Did Tweety do this? It may be touching, yet it knew very well cats can't taste sugar. I shrugged, a snack is a snack. I ate it with little fuss, my hunger was sated and began to twiddle my thumbs, as if expecting more benefits. I did not wait too long, Tweety flew in, astonishingly, it looked anxious like it were distressed about my well-being. My judging eyes were on it, then the yellow bird looked back. "Oh good Putty Tat, you're awake. You have no idea how heavy you are, carrying such a fat cat not a job for a puny bird like me! There's some distressing news Putty, Granny not home yet and it is eleven o'clock. She 'upposed to be back by ten, unless the tournament was delayed or something. I dunno, Putty we got to get da bottom of this." It was hard to take in, how did Tweety carry me upstairs? No, gotta concentrate. She was only an hour late, old people do take their time. My imagination started to wander, thinking of grim and tragic scenarios that Granny could have been through. "She... she could... could have had an accident." I spat the words out like it were poison and all of a sudden, I felt empty and lonely. I missed her, but my ego did not want to show it in front of Tweety, who looked perturbed and sad, possibly the first time I witnessed any sign of weakness from that canary. "Well, there must be a rational explanation about this. She is driving back, right?"
"A mail van might have hit her!" Tweety was going bananas about Granny! He really does care about her, unlike me. "We gotta see our neighbours, maybe they can help!" You have to understand one important fact about us. The strange thing is, Granny does not comprehend our dialect. However, everyone else seems to know what we're sayin', and it is always best that if your a pet, act like a pet (in front of your owners)!
We went to Witch Lezah's house, knowing that Bugs Bunny and that doofus duck of his have gone bowling too. Bugs and Daffy could have returned, but the neighbour Witch has adept skills of voodoo and magic, which can prove useful in an emergency. Tweety rang the doorbell by pushing it with his head, I had my arms folded; waiting patiently. The Witch did not answer, it was Gossamer, the Witch's monster of a son. "Hello yellow bird, hello Sylvester the red-nosed cat. Have you guys come over to play?" Gossamer was not very smart, but he's a momma's boy as you can tell by his polite attitude, nothing like a real monster. Still, surprising to see Gossamer, you would have thunk he'd be asleep. "Uhhhmmm... sadly no, Gossamer. We want to see your mom, Granny has been gone for a while and we are worried sick." I said, choosing my words carefully, ensuring I don't upset him. "What... sorry... I'll go-"
"Gossamer! Are you speaking with that crazy duck?! I've told him a million times not to fill my boy's head with his ridiculous anecdotes!" The witch grabbed her boy away from the door, but softened her touch as soon as she saw us. "Oh, you're Granny's furry friends. What are a couple of homely animals doing out this late? Oh no, don't tell me she finally abandoned you guys! You both can stay right here until we find a new owner." She was very kind for a witch, but it was ill-directed.
"No lady, we gotta find our Granny. She hasn't come back from bowling yet and we figured you could help." Tweety said, Lezah looked genuinely sorry for us.
"Dear... dear me... well you've come to the right place. I've got a crystal ball that can pinpoint where she is and I can see what she is up to. Trust me, I've seen everyone I know through it, how they are like by themselves or what they been doin'." She squinted her eyes at me as if I've made lots of mistakes in life, she still gestured at us to come inside. We went to her largish living room which had the normal stuff you'd expect (like a TV and couch), but it was also crammed full of creepy antics, like a shelf full of dusty tomes or an assortment of pickled frogs and alien mushrooms. The crystal ball was inside a small cupboard; she pulled it out carefully and set it on the mahogany table in the middle of the room. "Okay now, hush everybody, I need to concentrate." She was leering at the crystal ball like she does with Daffy. Minutes passed and we did not utter a sound, then she spoke again. "I see... I see Granny is at the bowling alley." She said it slowly, as if her vision was cloudy.
"She's not hurt... is she?" Tweety said out loud, breaking the stillness and quiet for a few seconds. "No honey... she is going to... going to bowl the ball." I was confused and impatient, was Granny still bowling? Surely, it does not take this long to bowl? But, I have been wrong before.
Fifteen minutes or so passed, but the Witch was still repeating the same action over and over again. She got weary and yawned, "You know what? This is taking way too long, I will teleport us there and then bring us back home." It looked like witches too had limits to their patience. "Am I going as well Mom." Gossamer said timidly, almost forgot he was there. "Why you want to come, sweetheart? My child does not need to concern himself. Besides, you've got school tommorrow, and I don't want my baby getting another D in his Biology quiz!" The witch did seem strict, but you could not hold a monster's hand forever. "Yes mother." That was all that was said of him, he looked ashamed and guilty about it, like he did not want us to know – his slow footsteps were heard from the stairs as he made his way up.
She said a few magic words and the enchantment took effect instantaneously with a sparkle. It felt like we were going a trillion miles an hour as we were flung towards the bowling alley. The space-time must have warped due to the spell as my body looked distorted and elongated during the journey. But, it only lasted mere seconds as we found ourselves in the dark of the bowling alley. "Why is it dark in here?" I said stupidly to Lezah who was looking for Granny like the rest. "Must have been why it was hard seeing Granny, but what was the staff doing? They switched off the lights without checking if anyone is left around!" She casted a spell once more, and a flame began to burn from her index finger. The glow was bright and the darkness seemed afraid around her. It did not take long for us to find Granny. She was with her other chums who were at this point snoozing at their bench. Granny, on the other hand was still practising her bowling action, her eyes were focussed on the ten pins at the far side. Tweety fluttered onto her shoulder. It made Granny lose her concentration as her head turned to find Tweety. "Tweety? Oh... you are always a pleasant for my ancient eyes." Granny had said, it was as if all that energy that she spent on readying for bowling that ball was dispersed or went directly on Tweety. Still, she did not feel tired even though her old pals were exhausted