On the run
As I walk down the corridor, I immediately know something is wrong, but thus far I do not allow myself to deduce what has happened. Yet as I approach the door and see a carefully crafted letter written to me, I cannot deny myself what inevitably has occurred. My hand trembling, I reach for the door handle and I step inside to face the storm.
I never thought I would feel like that ever again, and I never thought anything could possibly be worse than it, the dread that attacked me that evening.
But I was wrong. I walk along a similar corridor, 10 years later, not denying myself the ability to know what has happened, she was taken. And left in her room, where I am heading will be a blood smeared smiley face on the wall to confirm my scarily accurate theory.
Blood pumping through my veins I prepare myself for another oncoming hurricane, one that I will never pull through from.
I step inside, my thoughts numb with panic.
It is all true. She is gone. The smiley face plastered on the wall. Any hint of hope is extinguished. This is the end for me. I cannot recover.
Slamming the door open I thrash at everything in my way, nothing is safe from my onslaught. The pain and guilt circulating in my blood stream is thriving me to do the unthinkable, and before I know it I am smashing everything I own in a blind panic, hoping that it will diminish my white hot anger.
I slam myself against the metal door and scream out in agony, no matter what anyone says physical pain can never be worse than any mental pain.
I sink to floor and spasm as I imagine the torturing pain she is going through, the inexplicable things that he is doing to her. And no matter what anyone says this is my all my fault. That is it. I cannot take this anymore, and for the first time in many years I let myself go, crying and screaming in pain for the woman I love.
I don't know how long I was there for but I must have cried myself to sleep as it was light when I finally stirred from my scrawled up place on the floor. I couldn't live like this; there is no way that I can talk to anyone ever again. I must end this.
So I step towards my bed and reach down the side for the knife that had been there for pushing 5 years now, not for self-defence but for much darker purposes, to kill the man responsible for all this.
But now I realise that this was all destined to be, I myself had planned to kill a corrupt man with this blade and I will complete that very task. My hand is shaking but I have to do this, there is nothing left for me here.
But their voices are in my head. Angela's screaming for me to stop this very second. Lisbon's the very same thing.
Just as I hesitate something on my bed catches the sunlight.
A small, unmistakable shape that has been carefully placed on top of all the rubble of my recent outbreak.
Her cross.
Trembling I place the knife down carefully and reach for the piece of jewellery, gliding it through my fingers cautiously, and as I do I catch a small note, carefully crafted like always.
Are you ready to come and play yet?
Remember where this all began?
There may still be hope.
I know where she is, and I know what I have to do.
I have never run so fast in my whole life, my heart beating ferociously as I race to the room where it all began, where I found my family all those years ago. But now I have a different feeling as I speed down the endless corridor gun at hand, I am determined, I will kill this barstad if it is the last thing I do.
As I enter the room I see her. At first it looks like she is alone and I almost grab her then and pull her into my arms. But I can't. I know it's a trap, he is in the shadows waiting to make his move.
"Y…you have been a very naughty boy P…p…patrick." Lisbon says to me trembling, tears streaming down her face.
"If you want your beloved Miss… Lisbon to live you just have to say the words and I'll let her go… at a cost though obviously" She stuttered, the shear pain on her face unimaginably excruciating to watch.
"What price?" I replied furiously, my hands balled up into tight fists.
"You… if you let me have my way with your lovely girlfriend then you… you can get your revenge… you can do anything you want." Lisbon looked like she was about to collapse now, so pale and week.
"But likewise if you let her go" said the voice in the shadows "I will individually torture every single remaining member of Miss Lisbon's family here, the brothers she worked so hard to raise and she would never forgive you for that would she?" He taunted wandering out of the darkness now into the light, walking up and stroking Lisbon's hair.
"And don't you dare even try and kill me with that gun of yours Patrick, it'll only end up being Teresa and her team dying additionally." Red John added before he leaned in to Lisbon's face and wipe away her tears.
Pure rage was all I felt at that moment, never in my entire life have I ever had such an impulse, and in passion and fury, in that very moment I ran up behind his unsuspecting back and stabbed him through the back, making sure that it was lethal blow.
Red John turns around "Never thought you had it in you to give up everything for revenge. You can never have her now, fugitive" and he collapses in a heap on the floor at Lisbon's feet.
All I can do is stare, what have I done? Now I can never be with Lisbon, I will go to prison for the rest of my days and never see her ever again.
No.
That cannot happen, I will not allow myself to be locked away like some animal, I cannot live without her, but I must leave her to get treatment at a hospital.
So I call Van Pelt "Lisbon. Red John. My old house. Ambulance. Now." And before I could give her a chance to reply I hung up, and with a kiss on her cheek I left her, making sure hundreds of times she would be ok until the medics got here.
I will come back for her.
I didn't get my hopes up for Jane to be there. I could not remember for the life of me what had happened, but I still couldn't fathom that Jane would stay with me, and as I woke up and he wasn't there, my suspicions were unfortunately confirmed.
When everything was explained to me it was like a blur. Jane on the run as an outlaw, he would never last, but then again he had done something similar before in Vegas. And even though I convinced myself that I would never see him again, every night I secretly hoped that maybe, just maybe he would turn up at my door wanting comfort and a place to stay.
It was exactly a month after it happened that I turned up at her door, I knew she wouldn't have given up on all hope of seeing me again and so I was hoping I would greeted warmly with open arms even.
No such luck.
As she opened the door, the very first thing she did was punch me, right on the nose.
And then she led me in without saying a word, just ushering me in to join her.
"Teresa" I said calmly.
"Patrick" she replied.
"Do you remember anything?" I asked attentively.
"Almost" She said, meeting my eye contact and staring into my soul, did she know I loved her already?
"Forgive me" I asked
And that's when she started to get angry again.
"Do you realise what you have put me through Jane? Nothing, not a word since the say you just left me. You left me alone with the mutilated corpse of Red John!
And do you know what you don't even care, you just turn up at my door and ask for my forgiveness, well you know what I knew we were all just pawns in your little dance for revenge and now it has been confirmed. You know I really thought I was getting through to you all these years but apparently not, everything you said and did was all faked, all the laughs, hugs and the 'Love you' was just a ruse to get us exactly where you wanted us to be. In the line of Red John. Well congratulations, you did it, now get out of my house."
"I killed Red John for you Teresa! He was going to make me choose between saving you and saving your family, do you have any idea what that does to a person?! I don't think so, and the only way to save you all was to kill him. When I used to think of revenge I had no life to leave in prison, but now I can't go to prison, I can't live without you. I need you Teresa?! Why can't you see that. I did this all for you, I would have left my revenge if you weren't involved or at risk" I was practically screeming at her now, how could she not understand?
And with that she kissed me, a passion-filled kiss full of so much emotion and longing ti made my eyes water and heart beat faster than ever before. But soon it calmed down into a kiss of love, not just anger and passion but something much, much more.
And as we separated and looked at each other we made a silent agreement we knew what we had to do.
"I love you Teresa"
"As I love you Patrick"
It was silent for a few more minutes when she sspoke.
"Take me with you. I don't think I can live without you"
"But I couldn't make you leave your job everything you love for me!"
"No Patrick, all I want is you, I don't care anything else, I want to go with you and be with you forever"
"I love you so much"
And the next day after Jane has stayed the night they packed away everything they own and headed for the CBI. Lisbon walked in and dropped off her resignation letter, and then left a small note for the team. A thank you letter that just informed them that they were okay and not to show the note the police.
And with that they were ready. Ready to start a new life with each other, so they jumped in the car and sped off, to anywhere they could because it didn't matter where they were, just as long as they were together