Welcome to another Naruto fanfiction by little old me. I was inspired to write this story by another writer here named The Engulfing Silence. Their story 'Legend of Gaia's Sennin' is a wonderful read, you should all check it out for yourselves! No spoilers, just go find it!

Now on with Chapter One!

"Guardian Forces, Demons, Big Mother Truckers talkin bout thangs."

'Same big mother truckers thinkin real hard.'

'That stupid… old… perverted… bastard…'

Quite the first thought to pass through the head of Uzumaki Naruto upon waking up feeling like his entire body had been on fire. Over the years it was not uncommon for him to awaken in pain, considering where his life had led him since the day he had been born. At seventeen years old, he could count on two hands the number of positive memories he had, which if you asked him, sucked major balls. If that wasn't shocking enough for you, then consider the number of people he cared about being countable on one hand. As he stirred from his forced slumber, he contemplated taking one old pervert off that list. It had all started when the bastard woke him up from a wonderfully sound sleep with his sick giggling and the smell of strong sake.

Memories of Knucklehead Naruto

Naruto had been sleeping after a long and rough day of training. His oldest friend, an insanely powerful being of pure hatred and corruption, had given him quite a regimen to follow alongside the training he was to do with his master, the great toad sage Jiraiya. The insane physical and mental training he had endured over the years had been a bit of a secret between the young ninja in training and his demonic friend. Most people were under the impression that the two hated one another, but any ninja would be insane to believe what they saw on the surface. Naruto's second true sensei had been the only man to see the truth, because he had always been one to preach about looking underneath the underneath. The months his former sensei, Hatake Kakashi, spent focusing all of his attention on Naruto's team mate, 'the teme,' was all a ruse the two of them had developed to cover Naruto's true strength.

In reality, Naruto was quite possibly one of the most talented prodigies to be born within the leaves, but being a true ninja that he was, he put on a strong façade of being a complete failure. His potential had been what drew the attention of a beast that lived within the young blonde, and instead of corrupting and destroying the boy, the beast offered his paw in friendship. The deal had been made in blood and chakra, and so long as Naruto dedicated all of his time into training, the beast would allow the blonde to maintain his sanity. It would have been so easy to destroy him, let him wallow in self pity and fall to darkness, but that would not have gone over well with… others. A certain ox, octopus monstrosity would never let the beast live it down.

This beast, the only true friend Naruto ever made, was none other than the legendary nine-tailed-fox demon. Known as Kyu by Naruto, he had been a constant in the blonde's life since he had turned seven. Naruto had never been treated well and Kyu had grown weary of watching the world from the eyes of a disturbed little boy. On a particularly horrid night after the festival of his supposed death, the fox watched the blonde sleeping in a hospital bed. Always having to heal the little runt after these terrible beatings was boring, but if the body died he would break apart and have to spend the next few decades reforming. While tedious as all hell, that was one fucking boring process, and he had better things to do than spend years gathering all his floating bits of chakra. In a fit of motivation to end his imprisonment the fox focused on the subconscious mind of his host to draw him into the strange inner sanctum he lived in. The process was risky with someone so young, but if he broke the little fool's mind... all the better for him to possess. He was surprised when the runt appeared directly in front of him rather than lost in the many dizzying pathways that surrounded his cell.

Upon his arrival Naruto woke and sat up, obviously uncomfortable sitting in the knee deep water he appeared in. He scowled a cute little grimace as he padded the water out of his ears, which amused the beastly fox considering the body was ethereal at best. He wondered how frightened the boy would be when he saw him, how easily he could manipulate the boy into breaking to his sorrow. Imagine the fox's surprise when the blonde boy stood and looked around with indifference. When Naruto eyed the large bars of the cage he actually sighed as if annoyed, but quickly put on his cursed mischief grin that sent shivers down the spines of his prank victims.

"I was wondering when you would pull me in here, fox." Naruto's voice was amused, and it slightly irritated the Kyuubi.

"So, we finally meet at last. I was wondering when my warden would…-"Kyu spoke his rehearsed lines until he noticed the mirthful expression on Naruto's face, "What is so God damned funny you brat!?"

"It's just… your face… its so serious… haha…. I mean… it's not like I haven't been here before…" Naruto replied while gripping his sides trying to hold in his amusement.

Kyu grumbled something about unfairness and stupid children before speaking again, "What do you mean, brat?"

Naruto wiped a tear from his imaginary eye and looked up to the bars before him, "When I was five and a half I read a book someone threw out about meditation helping with memory retention. When I tried to meditate I ended up here in this pit. I was lost in those weird tunnels with the pipes and sewer water, but I eventually got here. I was so surprised, dattebayo!"

The red eyes of the Kyuubi narrowed menacingly as he growled lowly, "You could not have, I would have remembered."

"You were taking a nap, and I didn't want to bother you. I waited a while to see if you would wake up, but when you didn't I left because my body on the outside was hungry." Naruto had struck a thinking pose with his left hand holding his chin while his right hand held his left elbow.

Though it was unseen in the darkness, one could hear the obvious sound of a large palm slapping against a furry face, "God damn it…"

"So you're the fox everyone talks about on my birthday. I dunno what their problem is, you're super cool! I really like how your tails move around even when you sleep. Do they have like, minds of their own?" Naruto's childish curiosity and eagerness were another surprise to the beast, and then he walked out of the darkness to sit in front of the bars where the boy could see him.

"You do not fear me?" The great fox asked suspiciously, his eyes still narrowed as he sensed for ill intent from the child.

Naruto tilted his head, "I think I am supposed to, but the people who talk about it are also the jerks who harass me and put me in the stupid hospital. Should I fear you?"

"You're asking me?" The Kyuubi slowly lay down on his belly with his arms crossed under his chest.

"Well of course! I don't know you, I don't know where you've been, I don't know what your life has been like… so if I judge you from what others tell me, then I am being dumb. I don't like to feel dumb. I like tricking others into thinking I am dumb, but I don't want you to think I am dumb if you are as powerful as they say. You might get annoyed and stomp on me like a cockroach." Naruto's innocent voice and obvious good intent was the strangest thing that the fox had ever seen or felt.

The boy was smarter than he let on, and his innocence was a refreshing change from the constant surge of hate and despair the other filthy flesh bags let off. Even among the children his age he had felt nothing as pure as he did from this boy. How could he have been so hasty to hate his container? He never considered the possibility that he might be… impressed by a mere child. His lack of faith in humanity had blinded him, and despite trying to deny it, it made him feel ill. The very darkness that he found repulsive in the hearts of humans had tainted his own heart and mind. What would the old man think if he saw how far one of his own children had fallen?

With a firm nod the Kyuubi stared into the eyes of his container, "Child, you have nothing to fear from me, you have my word."

Little Naruto watched the oversized fox extend his balled up paw to press firmly against the bars of his cage, and he knew exactly what the monster wanted. How did he know it? That would be a mystery he never solved, but at that moment he knew to stand up and walk over to the bars. He felt the slow breathing of the beast wash over him as he leaned through the bars. Moments later, his tiny fist pushed against the gigantic fox paw, and a strange burst of understanding overwhelmed him. The fox wondered if the boy would scream or run away, perhaps he would even curse him for being what he was. Instead, he found another shock was due, as the blonde boy cried silent tears that sparkled on his cheeks in the dim ghostly lighting of the chamber.

"Why do you cry, boy?" The Kyuubi spoke with a low rumble as he tried to quell his inner malice to speak in more civil tones.

Naruto wiped his face of his tears, never choking or hiccupping once, "It's nothing, just… sorry about all this… being trapped thing. I get how angry you are now."

"You are a strange creature… none of the other children you have ever observed have been so mature, and many of the adults as well. I like you."

From that day forward, Naruto had his first proper sensei. The fox had been able to fill the gaps in his education that the books he had stolen or found thrown in the garbage had left. With his education soon up to the standards set by his irritable partner, Naruto was then forced to suffer through the nine levels of hell. The nine levels of hell had been a series of physical limits that Naruto would have to reach and subsequently shatter and surpass. First he was put through the hell of flexibility training due to his young body being ill prepared for muscle strengthening. The fox had been merciless with his instruction and demanded that Naruto give two hundred percent in each exercise. There were several nights when Naruto would return to his apartment bow legged or with dislocated joints. The beast within him had assured him that his wounds would heal over night, which only served to horrify the boy.

The second level of hell had been stamina, and had been one of the harshest. Being an Uzumaki, the boy had been gifted with the stamina of ten professional runners. His hyper personality when he had been younger was all due to pent up energy. The Kyuubi capitalized on this and forced Naruto to run for days on end, stopping only to rehydrate and have a bowl of his favorite food to replenish his sodium. Naruto could feel his muscles still running and pushing for days after he had finished his six month running exercises. Six months of running three days straight, resting for one day, and running for the next three. It had been the quietest six months the village had ever seen since the days before the Kyuubi attack. Naruto was sure to remind the village of his existence… thoroughly.

The third level of hell had been a focus on his hands, specifically learning how to move them accurately as quickly as possible. This sounds simple, no? The fox though so too and he was sure to keep the exercises interesting. Once Naruto had been able to form the standard hand seals required for ninja techniques, he was forced to do so while wearing weights on his wrists. The boy had been forced to use shopping bags filled with rocks to substitute for actual training weights. After the weighted training, Naruto spent weeks sneaking to one of the training grounds to submerge his hands in water for resistance training. By the fifth week, Naruto began wondering why he had agreed to train with his evil sadist fox sensei.

The fourth and fifth levels of hell had been dedicated to his chakra. Kyu had been adamant that he would not allow Naruto to go around with the chakra control of a drunken monkey. Naruto spent hours meditating, and this became his least favorite level due to sheer boredom. Sitting around for hours is not something ideal for a growing boy with the stamina of a demigod. While the time was much shorter than his previous levels, it felt longer because of the inactivity that accompanied his meditation. Kyu was able to manipulate Naruto's body, developing his young chakra coils with ease while Naruto shut his body down. Kyu theorized that if he were better equipped to hold his massive amounts of chakra, it would be easier for his body to utilize it more efficiently. Naruto wasn't completely sure what all of that meant, but by the end of his alterations he was able to master a few techniques that Naruto found extremely useful for pulling pranks. The village was never the same again.

By the time Naruto had finally been allowed to start his strength level he had joined the academy to become a ninja. The classes were dreadfully boring, but Kyu forced the boy to stay awake and alert during his lessons. He explained to Naruto that learning history for many perspectives gave one a better understanding of how the world worked. The winners would paint pictures of beauty, heroism, romanticism, and courage. The losers would create villains of their enemies, blood baths of their losses, and instill fear in the hearts of future generations to insight hate. To open one's mind us to be open to understanding, and eventually acceptance. While Naruto would spend his afternoons lifting weights and performing routine exercises to balance the development of all his muscle groups, he would spend his days learning history, tactics, and strategies. Most of the time he was already versed in the topics his temporary sensei would cover, so he would spend that time perfecting his mask of idiocy.

Following his strength training Naruto was surprised to find out that he would be continuing the use of his weights to increase his speed. He found it odd that he would need to continue to use weights, but that confusion was short lived when he realized that lifting weights, and trying to run with weights attached to your shins were completely different. The burning he had felt when he had worked on his stamina was a sweet memory compared to the severe pain his torn muscles filled him with during his speed exercises. He was an odd sight running through the village with plastic bags dangling from his legs and waist, and many would laugh behind his back. Naturally Naruto used this to further his reputation as a desperate fool with no future.

The eighth level of hell was an introduction to the wonderful world of stealth. Naruto laughed when the Kyuubi suggested that he needed to learn anything about stealth. He had spent years dodging the villagers, both civilians and shinobi alike, and had almost never been caught. Kyu pointed out that almost wasn't going to keep him alive. At first Naruto found the training to be very standard and a tad boring, but he was assured that his final test would require him to take each lesson to heart. Disguises, traps, camouflage, deception, misdirection, and evasion were all key areas he was forced to practice under stressful situations. The number of times the ANBU had nearly caught the boy was far too high for Naruto's taste, but he was never caught. His final exam had been presented to him by Kyu during the summer of his second year in the academy. Steal a tray of dumplings from a specific patron at one of the more popular shinobi hangouts in town, and survive.

Naruto spent the rest of his time in the academy studying diligently during the day, while running for his life after classes. Stealth was not the only skill the boy utilized to try and evade and survive the attacks of his unknowing exam proctor. He had no idea the woman could hold such a harsh grudge against someone, and Kyu found the entire thing incredibly hilarious. Kyu noted that added bonus to his host having no time to idle being his lack of ramen intake and he was pleased. The boy was forced to forage on the run, and as a side effect it helped develop his survival skills and foraging knowledge. A healthy diet of wild berries, mushrooms, and the occasional fish did wonders for his overall health. When the woman he had angered had finally sated her blood lust by pinning the boy upside down on the wall of the women's hot springs changing room, Kyu was positive that the boy would never underestimate the importance of stealth and the basics of survival again.

Naruto graduated the academy at the bottom of his class, as planned, and consequently ended up on the same team as one of his least favorite classmates, as well as a girl who made the hair on his neck stand on end. The boy, if you could call him a boy, was the least likely person to smile that was ever born. He put on a cold and aloof front to hide his inner cry baby, and the girls ate it up like the masochists they were. None of those girls could compare to his female team mate, if you could consider her flat chest and oversized forehead body female. She was loud, obnoxiously obsessed with his male team mate, and harbored and irrational hatred for Naruto that he was sure would bother him if Kyu had not drilled it into his head that women with pink hair were guaranteed to break your heart. Something about combining the heartless cold attitude of a blonde with the fiery uncontrollable spirit of a redhead to create a natural pink hair color being something only the most evil of demons from the depths of hell would dream up. Whatever it was, he knew to steer clear of that chick, lest he get daily concussions.

He met Kakashi back then, and the two of them spoke privately. Naruto was impressed by the level and skill of his new sensei and the two trained in deception rather than fighting skill. Naruto never let his team mates see the real him, always pretending to be an idiot with no class and no skill. His male team mate trained in combat with their sensei exclusively, while the female simply watched in awe of her beloved. Months passed, and while Naruto never let his skill show, he did perform his team work exercises with precision and professionalism, even if he did celebrate with a ridiculous cheer after every success. Their stint of D ranked missions lasted too long for his liking, but he let his team mates decide when they had had enough, allowing his idiot persona to choose lazy and easy over difficult and more rewarding. Their first C rank that followed was a complete and utter shit storm.

The lesson that Naruto learned on that C rank mission was one that he would never forget. It had not been a test of strength, skill, or endurance. There was nowhere to hide, no way to run… and the end result would haunt him for years to come. He learned then why it was important to fight, why he had to study and train and go beyond the limits he found in himself. He would fight harder, fly higher, and do whatever it took to become stronger and protect his loved ones. That was his motto from then on: fight for others and never stop growing. It took weeks for his team to truly recover from the trauma of their first real mission, but Naruto was undeterred. In his time away from his nosy and meddlesome team mates Naruto was busy with the final level of hell, converting and manipulating his chakra into different elements. This level would take years of diligent practice, but Kyu was nothing if not a patient and doting sensei to his container.

It would be a few weeks later that Naruto would meet his final true sensei, the man he respected, but hated with a seething passion. This man was Jiraiya, the sage of toads. Jiraiya was a man of many talents stronger than most any other shinobi in the elemental nations and known worldwide for his special series of erotic novels. Naruto would be a fool to underestimate the benefits of being taught by someone so well regarded. The problem Naruto found with this man… was his inability to resist the vices of the world. As a shinobi it had been drilled into him at the academy to avoid lust, greed, and gluttony. Jiraiya found comfort in all the worst kinds of sins. He drank wine each night surrounded by women, never being satisfied for long. Under the guise of researching for his perverted writing he would spy on innocent women while abusing his shinobi training to do so. Naruto found he needed to guard his wallet from the thieving hands of his sensei, lest he find Gama-chan empty each morning.

The man spirited Naruto away on a training journey to remove him from the village to keep him safe while he grew. Naruto found this to his liking after a particularly nasty incident with his male team mate running off to have an affair with a pedophile. His female team mate sank into a spiraling depression that Naruto was sure would end her career, but that wasn't his problem anymore. He would learn to defend himself and his few loved ones while traveling with an old pervert and his foxy sensei. Months turned to years, and the number of skills that he accumulated was impressive. Jiraiya was a terrible sensei, but his vast knowledge of techniques was nearly endless. While the pervert would wet his whistle, Naruto would take his lessons on each technique from his true sensei. Kyu had an understanding of chakra and how to manipulate it that would make even the legendary Hokage of old envious.

Due to several speed bumps along their journey, Naruto was away for much longer than he had promised the few friends he had made. He left at the age of thirteen, and four years had passed instead of the two he had planned. His training had turned him into a machine of power and precision. Gone were the loud and obnoxious colors that he had favored to hide his personality. He had bid farewell to the cheering and victory dances that had made him the fool. He was still a notorious prankster and his ass would give a Nara a run for their money, if you know what I mean. Things were looking promising… until that night on his seventeenth birthday. He had been sleeping peacefully in the hotel room he had rented with the pervert sage. He woke with a start when his body was suddenly bound tightly with ninja wire. Relaxing to avoid being cut by the razor wires, he took in his surroundings quickly to try and grasp how boned he was. Jiraiya was standing at the foot of his bedroll with a young and busty brunette hanging off his left arm. The two smelled of booze, a lot of booze, and their faces were nearly as red as his pervert master's clothes.

"Now watch thish, itsh gonnu be aweshum. You… you'll never see real ninja tricks like thesh anywhere!" Jiraiya sounded severely drunk, nearly passed out, which was very strange.

Naruto looked around and saw a strange set of markings painted on the floor around him. He could make out a good portion of the seals around him with the help of his advanced seal training Kyu had advised him to pursue. He had been told that sealing was in his blood, but until he actually tried the art he had his doubts. Damned if the fox wasn't right again, because the seals just… made sense to him. He could recreate most any seals after only a dozen or so attempts, and remembering their functions was second nature. It was like remembering a language that he'd been speaking since birth. Judging by the sloppy form of the seals he could make out, he knew that this was a bad idea. He looked at his sensei with pleading eyes while sweat beaded up on his neck and face.

"Yo, pervy sage, this ain't fucking funny man! What you trying to pull?! This could seriously kill me, dattebayo!" Naruto yelled while trying to wriggle out of the matrix area.

Jiraiya jerked the wire to shift Naruto roughly toward the center of the matrix again before gathering chakra into the tips of his fingers, "Sit still gaki, this won't hurt one… bit!"

To the utter delight of his floozy lady friend, he slammed his glowing fingers down into the floor to infuse chakra into his haphazardly drawn seal. The blue flames erupted immediately and shocked everyone, Naruto cried out as the fire burned through his clothes and soon after his skin. This pain was unlike anything he had ever felt before. He could faintly hear the voice of his oldest and dearest friend screaming out for him to hold on. Kyu was the only precious person he had, the one he grew strong for, the one he fought for so that he would never have to fear being split apart. This bullshit bad luck wasn't going to stop him. He was Uzumaki Naruto damn it! He was the best friend and protector of the Kyuubi no Kitsune! It was going to take a hell of a lot more than some stupid blue chakra flames to get in his way!

Naruto fought and fought, his body healing and burning over and over, the sensation of falling through space filling what little of his senses weren't occupied by the unbearable pain he was feeling. He thought it would never end… and then it did.

Memories End

"Fuck… at least the fire stopped… I think. Kyu, you there buddy?" Naruto called out loud while keeping his eyes shut to avoid seeing the damage that had been done.

"Thank Kami you're awake, kit. I was… concerned. Your training isn't over yet after all." Kyu replied, though his voice was far less imposing as it usually was. The fox also sounded like he was speaking from outside Naruto's head, but that was crazy…

Naruto rubbed a hand at his face and was relieved to find no burns causing him pain, "Yeah yeah I know big guy, always have to be tough and uncaring. I know you were worried, so just say it already. Also confess that you love me like a brother and that you want your belly rubbed."

An indignant snort followed Naruto's teasing remark, "Shut that mouth of yours for five seconds so you can see the trouble we're in… and I do not want my belly rubbed!"

"So you say…" Naruto smirked before opening his eyes and wincing at the overwhelming brightness of pure white, "…Oh God what the hell is going on now?"

"For once… I can honestly say that I am clueless." Kyu said before stepping around Naruto and into his field of vision. The once great fox that attacked the village hidden among the leaves had been reduced to the side of a mere cabin. While he still towered over any man, he was much more approachable.

Naruto's eyes widened like saucers before softening and glazing over, "Kyu… you're free?"

The Kyuubi sat on his haunches and smiled, it was not menacing, nor maniacal, instead it was warm and amused, probably because of Naruto's gaping expression, "Yes Kit, whatever has happened to us… I am free."

Naruto let whatever walls he held up to protect himself fall, all pretense of toughness or male bravado shattered like many shards of stained glass. Silent tears were shed that seemed to drift into the emptiness that surrounded the two of them. In a gesture that no human who had ever heard or seen of the terror that was the Kyuubi would ever dare to dream of, Naruto leapt across the space between them and latched onto the furry leg of the Kyuubi no Kitsune. Instead of lashing out in terrible anger, or cursing in pure hatred, Kyu simply smiled a more broad and genuine smile than he had ever given to any mortal being. He let the little human hold onto his soft furred leg like the life line that he knew he had always been. The great demon would never admit this to anyone, man or beast or god herself.., but he loved the little brat like a brother. And Naruto loved him, he had felt it for years, the growing adoration that a younger sibling felt for their elders. This had been what had finally cleansed him of his hatred and set him free of the dark cycle that had hounded his soul for so long.

"Kyu… I am so glad you are free. This is the best thing ever, dattebayo!" Naruto hiccupped at the end, but his happiness was genuine.

Kyu snickered softly while nudging Naruto with his large and cold nose, "Oi, brat, I thought we got rid of that little tick of yours."

"Shush, I can't help it when I get excited, you know. This is fantastic! I have always wanted to feel what your fur felt like outside of my crappy imagination! You're wonderful bro!" Naruto exclaimed with a goofy hundred watt grin.

Kyu shook the idiot off while huffing, though his amused smile never wavered, "Yes well, be that as it may, before you get all sappy again we need to get the hell out of this pickle we're in. I don't fancy being caught in a damned void for the rest of eternity, and eventually you are going to have to eat, and without your clothes your sealed rations aren't going to be an option."

It took Naruto all of three precious seconds to register what had just been said, and then the white endless void echoed with the screaming call of the majestic naked moron, "KYA!"

"Well, if it isn't Hagoromo's eldest boy… What in the hell are you doing in a place like this?"

The voice both teen and fox heard caused them both to turn rapidly to face their guest. Standing in simple black robes was a woman, her face half concealed by a demon mask made of pure bone. Nothing of detail could be seen beneath her flowing robes save a sword that barely tented the long sweeping cloth of her garment. Her eyes were dark, black even, with no discernible pupil. An eerie feeling seemed to fall over the pair of males like cold water dousing them from above. Naruto had no clue who this strange woman was, but Kyu seemed to recognize her right away, and he didn't seem too pleased about it.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me! That perverted old bastard killed my container and sent us to some kind of purgatory hell zone?!" Kyu roared into the air at no one in particular, amusing the woman by the look of her exposed eyes, which reminded Naruto of Kakashi and his patented eye-smile.

"Oi, bro, the hell is wrong with you all of a sudden? Who is the chick?" Naruto asked innocently, though he missed the sudden tick mark on the unnamed woman's forehead.

Kyu stopped on the nonexistent floor roughly as panic set into his facial features, "Shut that damn ramen hole of yours before you get the both of us eaten you god damn moron! That is the SHINIGAMI FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!"

Naruto squinted while he eyed the Shinigami with an inquisitive gaze, assuming his thinking pose. He then walked up to the lady in black and kept his eyes tightly squinted while he leaned into her face, causing said woman to actually sweat a little and lean back. Suddenly, Naruto stepped back and pointed a lazy finger in her direction while scrunching his face up in a fox like grimace, "You ate my dad."

The silence that followed was something of legend. Shinigami and Kyuubi watched with unbelieving eyes as the blonde just stood there pointing an accusing finger at her. He wasn't freaking out or swearing or challenging anyone to a fight. He just stood there, pointing his tanned and callused finger at her. If it had been under any other circumstances, Kyu would surely have been roaring with laughter on the ground. The situation being what it was… he was praying to any Gods listening that she would at least spare him an eternity in her bubbling acidic stomach of hellish pain and flames.

"…Yes, yes I did eat your dad's soul." Shinigami was able to respond after finding her voice, as well as checking to make sure she wasn't having some trippy pot dream.

"That sucks. I figure the couple thousand ninja he sent your way during the Third War wasn't enough payment to cover cutting my bro here in half and putting him in my stomach?" Naruto questioned while tapping his bare naked foot on the… nothingness.

Shinigami had he good grace to actually rub her hooded head in embarrassment, "Well I mean… it's just that…"

"Not to mention all the Uzumakis who died during the Second War, and all of the ninja they killed. All those souls my family on both sides sent you and you still had to swallow my dad's soul for this whole sealing ritual thing?" Naruto pushed on with his argument while he grew increasingly irritated.

"When you say it like that it sounds…" Shinigami started but she was cut off by Naruto's hand lifting up to silence her.

"No excuses, you know what you did. Tell you what, next time you want to fuck me, just push me onto a table and get it over with." Naruto said with finality as he crossed his arms over his chest.

The silence that followed was once again something to be remembered, though it was broken sporadically by the uncontrolled snickers that Kyu could no longer suppress.

"I-I beg your pardon?!" Shinigami growled angrily while her hand flew to her zanpakuto.

"My mother's clan was obliterated, my father's clan was extinct after his death, and you decided to just take his soul and fucking devour it as a sacrifice to store a giant fox into my stomach so that I would be hated for the rest of my life. You took my father, knowing my mother was dying right the fuck there by his side effectively leaving a newborn with no one to care for him. Whether it makes sense or not, I'm gonna be ticked off at you for a little while, and you can forget feeling the wondrous sensation of my smooth Uzumaki lips on your perk behind, because your ass shant be favored with my sweet kisses, oh fair lady of death." Naruto turned his back to the now fuming lady Shinigami.

"Bwahahaha! Oh fuck that was good; I don't even care if I end up in hell. That was so worth it. Boy, you have the balls of legend." Kyu was on his back with his paws grasping at his heaving furry chest.

"You know what, screw you guys! I was going to send you both somewhere nice to get you out of this void since technically you aren't dead, but you can both just forget that!" Shinigami yelled while sounding very mature and not like a spoiled child.

Naruto sighed and turned to face the black clad death god again with a glare, "Look, I'm sorry if I offended your delicate sensibilities or whatever, but that is no excuse to punish Kyu. Send him where ever and leave me here to sulk for a few thousand years or something. Whatever floats your boat sweet tits."

Shinigami chose to wisely ignore that last little crack, knowing full well her bosom was not visible in the loose fitting attire that she wore, "…I suppose I can… overlook your attitude this time. As you said, your kin have suffered enough… I do not need another Uzumaki so soon. Instead I have decided to send the both of you some place that is in need of a hero. The Elemental Nations have had a long run, but at this point I have grown tired of watching your silly people kill each other. The world I have in mind is far newer and I grow weary of watching the lot of them teeter on the verge of collapse."

By then both Naruto and Kyu had made their way over to the Shinigami and sat down to listen, "Where is this place if not in the Elemental Nations?"

"I will be sending you to another world that I cannot name, for the people of that world care little for labeling their planet. They are too focused on their own petty issue to think of the greater universe they are a part of. The beings that watch over the humans there rival the Tailed Beasts in power. They are known by the humans of that world as Guardian Forces, though they prefer to be known as Gods and Goddesses. Some stand tall as mountains while others are almost human. I will be introducing you to one of their kind who is the friendliest toward the people that walk their world. Her name is Shiva, and she governs the icy winds of winter."

Shinigami brought her sword from its sheath to let the pitch black steel of the blade glint from an unseen light. The make was simple, though the sword was anything but normal. With a slow swipe of her sword she opened a portal that seemed to ooze with darkness so thick one might be able to scoop it up in their palm. From the opening a strange woman stepped out rather cautiously. She was a strange sight, being that her skin was mostly blue, and mostly visible. She had a very thin build, though she had curves where they counted. While not ridiculously disproportioned like some of the women Naruto had grown used to seeing, this odd female was very beautiful in her own unique way. Her hair fell down her back in sky blue waves that danced in an unseen breeze. Naruto felt a chill when her eyes fell on him, though it wasn't because of fear or trepidation, she simply personified what one thought when one felt cold. Governess of Ice indeed, Naruto couldn't doubt that title even if he wanted to.

"What is the meaning of this odd summoning? I sense no danger." The woman said in a voice that rang like the tones of soft flutes on the breeze.

Shinigami sheathed her sword and nodded toward the newcomer in acknowledgement, "I am known as Shinigami, herald of death and watcher of souls. I brought you, Shiva of the Winter, here to discuss a matter of great importance."

"I see… speak then, and let us be done so I may return to my home." Shiva insisted while eyeing everyone cautiously, her icy sky blue eyes lingering on Naruto with curiosity.

"As you wish, I have brought you here to inform you that I will be placing a new soul on your world. As one of the divine beings of your realm I am obligated to make you and yours aware of his arrival. Your word is final though, so if you refuse I will be forced to send him to the afterlife." Shinigami replied smoothly, enjoying the look on Naruto's face. He didn't have to know that she could send him elsewhere.

Shiva turned her gaze to the two males before lifting into the air and floating over gracefully. Naruto froze, pun intended, and let the strange deity of snow and ice scrutinize him. He wasn't particularly fond of being observed like a piece of meat, but he didn't want to give Shiva a reason to deny him access to her realm. She floated in front of him and leaned down close to look into his eyes, icy sky blue boring into deep cerulean for several moments. And then, she smiled a dazzling smile while twirling and casting several snowflakes about the area, some landing on Naruto's bare skin and causing goose bumps to spread. When she stopped she was facing him again with her smile still in place.

"Of course he can come, he is wonderful! He contains a great strength that my brothers and sisters will find most refreshing. Oh, I am so glad that you brought me to him, I will be able to rub this right in Cerberus' smug faces." Shiva gave a rather cute victorious pose while smirking into the empty space above Naruto's head.

The blonde sweated a bit while his right eye twitched, "Why do I feel like I have become some kind of arm candy trophy husband…?"

"So what will become of me, Shinigami-Sama?" Kyu asked while feeling a bit left out.

Shinigami regarded him for a moment before her eyes smiled again, "You will become a Guardian Force of course. You will be free to roam the world and find a place to call your own. I recommend conferring with the existing Guardian Forces so that you do not step on anyone's toes."

"Yes! The others will be happy to have another Guardian Force to help govern the planet." Shiva was clearly excited, behaving like a child that had just been told they had a new sibling.

"I suppose that sounds like an interesting change of pace. I would like a chance to protect instead of destroy. As long as I may remain with my… my little brother, then I will accept the position." Kyu said while holding his paw to his lips as if covering a cough, though it was mostly to hide his small flush.

Naruto said nothing, not wanting to ruin the moment. He had wanted to hear the Kyuubi acknowledge him as a brother for a long time. He didn't cry, or make a fuss, or scream out like an idiot. He sniffed lightly while rubbing a stray tear from his face while grinning like a mad man. In a simple gesture Naruto held up his fist towards the large fox just like Kyu had done when he was seven. The fox eyed the fist with a hint of surprise, but that quickly washed away in favor of a great smile that reached his large red eyes for the first time in a long while. A large furry fist bumped into a much smaller human fist and the two glowed for a moment before the light vanished and Naruto looked around.

"The heck was that?" Naruto asked no one in particular.

Shiva flew over right into his face causing the blonde to nearly topple over, "That is impossible! You two just formed a true bond! No human has been able to do that in a millennia! Please, would you take my hand?"

Naruto watched the female ice goddess lift her dainty hand with a cautious smile. He could tell she was hoping for something, but he didn't quite understand what it was yet. Having nothing to lose, and not being able to refuse a request from a pretty girl no matter how strange her appearance was, Naruto lifted his hand up to lock with hers. Their fingers curled until they held a firm grasp of each other, and just like before a bright glow filled the area and then just as quickly vanished. Naruto was about to intelligently ask the same question as before, but he was stopped by the excited burst of pure glee that Shiva let loose in the form of snowflake confetti.

"This is a most glorious occasion Naruto Uzumaki! There has not been a true summoner in so long! I do not know whether to tell everyone or no one of this! You will be sought after by many Guardians, that is to be sure. If I had not already agreed to allow you into my realm, this would have surely sealed the deal. I must go at once to inform the others. Come, new brother, and we shall tell the others of your little human." Shiva gestured with her hand to summon forth a great mirror of ice.

Naruto watched in awe of the mirror. It brought back painful memories of his past, but those same memories had inspired him to become who he was now. That thought made him smile, and as he watched Kyu being pulled into the mirror while struggling, he laughed. Kyu heard his little human brother laughing at his expense, but he only smiled.

"I will see you soon, Naruto-kun." Kyu nodded toward the blonde who waved exaggeratedly back at him.

"See you soon Onii-san! Don't be asleep when I come visit your new den, okay?" Naruto replied cheekily with the foxy grin that he had inherited from being around Kyu for so many years.

"No promises you little brat!"

And with that, the mirror dissolved behind the pair of Guardians, and the realization that Naruto was, for the first time in a long time, utterly alone sank into the blonde. He stood and dusted off his backside and thighs. No time for moping, or else Kyu would kick his ass and call him a baby when they met back up on the other side. Shinigami walked over to him slowly and when she stopped she struck a pose that looked distinctly like her hands were on her hips. She eyed Naruto up and down, lingering a moment longer than Naruto would have liked when her eyes went down. The blonde crossed his eyes and grunted to get her attention.

"So… this is going to hurt like a bitch, isn't it?" Naruto beat around no bushes that day.

"Oh God yeah it will." Shinigami replied while nodding sagely.

"You're going to stab me in the chest, ain't ya?" He added while puckering his lips a bit to sniff at his upper lip.

"Have… have we done this before?" Shinigami asked, taken aback by his question.

"No, but I know karma. I spouted a lot of horse shit earlier. It would serve me right if this hurt like a mother fucker. Added bonus for the victim of my ire would be if they got to fuck me up at the same time. That sword looks wicked painful." Naruto deduced with flawless logic.

"…You aren't an idiot?" The saddest part was the genuine surprise that was in her voice.

Naruto palmed his face gently and rubbed the bridge of his nose, "Just… just stab me please."

When Naruto woke up again it took him several moments to register that his body was no longer cold. He was lying down again, but this time he could definitely feel some kind of mattress or cushion. When his nose began to work, he could smell rubbing alcohol and sterilization solutions. Judging by the brightness of his eyelids he was under a light fixture of some kind emitting harsh white light, perhaps fluorescent bulbs. All of these discoveries added up to one thought in his mind…

'Fuck, I'm in a damn hospital.'

When Naruto tried to sit up he found his body was bound to whatever bed he was currently laying in. He heaved a sigh and let his eyes open slowly to adjust to the bright lights. He was indeed in some kind of clinic or hospital, considering he would know those damned drop ceilings anywhere. It was like looking at a cake with poorly made frosting spread on top. The thousands of little bumps and craters on the thin piece of tile had always annoyed him to no end. He struggled a little more to get comfortable, but stopped when he heard the clearing of a throat nearby. The now ex-shinobi turned slowly to look at the man seated beside his bed.

This man had to be the nicest looking fellow he had ever seen. Naruto was used to seeing strong men, weak men, ugly men, overly handsome men, girly men like his ex team mate… but he had never seen a truly nice man before. The man was clearly older, possibly in his forties or fifties. His medium length brown hair was parted down the middle so his short bangs framed his forehead. On his nose sat a pair of round glasses that reminded Naruto of a certain bastard from his past. He wore a long sleeve white shirt under a dark brown vest with a blue tie nearly fastened around his neck. His slacks were a dark blue, and Naruto guessed he probably wore a pair of dress shoes to compliment his style. This man personified kindness, and his fatherly smile caused Naruto to relax almost instantly.

"Good to see you finally awake there young man. The shape you were in when our students found you we were worried you wouldn't make it. Doctor Kadowaki is truly a miracle worker." The gentleman spoke with a tone that only helped to cement his position as a fatherly figure to anyone lucky enough to meet him.

"Where… am I exactly?" Naruto asked while swallowing to moisten his dry throat.

"You are currently in the infirmary located within Balamb Garden. You were found heavily wounded on the side of the road between here and the nearby town of Balamb. Care to explain how you ended up there?"

Naruto didn't know how to respond so he pulled out an oldie, "I… I don't remember."

The older gentleman looked at Naruto the same way that Kakashi always had, and Jiraiya had after him. It was a knowing stare that seemed to bore right through Naruto, laying all his secrets bare. A twinkle seemed to shine in his eye, and he smiled a bit more than before. Whatever the old man was thinking he seemed pleased, but Naruto wasn't sure if that was good or bad yet.

"You can't fool a fool my dear boy. I saw your body when they brought you in. You are a warrior, not some random civilian in over his head on the road. It seems you keep your secrets close, which I think may be for the best. That leaves me with a very serious problem, unfortunately. You see, I am Headmaster Cid, the top tier at Balamb Garden. I make the decisions on who stays within these halls, and who hits the road. What do I do?" The newly named Cid asked while crossing his arms.

Naruto thought about his position and sighed, knowing he was stuck, "Headmaster you say? Isn't that a title for someone who is the head of a school?"

"Why yes, it is. I am the headmaster of Balamb Garden, a very prestigious battle school. Students enroll here to learn to be soldiers, but not the rank and file that storm the castle and die in waves. The students of a Garden are elite special forces trained to fight, infiltrate, assassinate, sabotage, and anything else their clients' require of them in their contracts." Cid recited this as if he had been reading a cue card, and Naruto felt like this had been a little too well worded to be a simple recollection.

"How does one join one of these Gardens?" Naruto asked, already wishing that he had asked a few more questions.

Cid's glasses seemed to twinkle again, and Naruto was vaguely reminded of a green wearing man he knew years ago, "A desire to learn and be the best that you can be are all that are required. If you look like you have the right stuff, then you start taking classes right away. Now, we normally start students off early in life, but exceptions can be made. For instance, should a potential student show signs of previous training."

"Okay old man, I'm tired of being coy. I'm not particularly sure how I ended up here, but if I am here then it probably means I am supposed to be here. I will join your little academy as long as you have three things." Naruto found a way, despite his bonds, to fold his hands on his chest.

Cid observed the strange blonde with an amused smile, "Oh, and what are these demands of yours?"

"Number one, I want a decent bed that doesn't have bed bugs. Two, there had best be ramen somewhere in this place to eat. Three, there had better not be an emo girly men wandering around looking down his nose at everyone else they meet." Naruto listed everything while counting each item on his fingers.

"The bed is no problem, and I think I can ask around to see if we can get ramen. About the… what did you call it… emo? I…"

"Yeah I figured there was a dick bag somewhere here. It's a school; there are always at least two or three dick bags in every school. I'll have to make due." Naruto said in a dramatic way while lifting a hand to his forehead to weep his sorrows.

Cid watched Naruto sit up, snapping the strong leather straps that had been used to keep the healing patient in place during his recovery. Cid felt the sweat bead up on his neck as Naruto flicked the restraints to the floor before ripping his bandages off. Naruto had been found a bloody mess on the roadside by several SeeD members that were returning from a mission abroad. His wounds ranged from torn muscles to burned skin. The resident doctor had spent hours patching up the blonde mystery boy and had assured that any recovery would take at least a month. When Naruto tore the bandages away, his skin was flawless without even a scar or blemish. The dried blood chipped off and fell away as he ran his hands over his chiseled chest. Cid tossed a set of standard Balamb Garden uniform at Naruto after the blonde had flushed upon discovering he was naked under his wrappings.

"I will need your name, date of birth, and weapon of choice to register you officially. Other personal information can be turned in later once you've had a chance to settle in." Cid assured the young man who was now dressing behind a privacy curtain.

"Naruto, Naruto Uzumaki, pleasure to meet you old man. Don't know the year, but I was born on October 10 and I am seventeen years old. My weapon of choice… I don't know, I will have to see what this place has to offer." Naruto called back casually while he slipped his pants on, relieved to be covered up at last.

After several minutes of rustling, and a moment of soft cursing, the privacy curtain was yanked back and Naruto walked out in full student gear. He was now wearing a pair of baggy navy blue pants with silver trim, a matching top with several pockets and zippers as well as two leather pauldrons, and a v-neck white t-shirt under the uniform jacket. He put on the boots he was given, but they just didn't feel right on his feet. He made a mental note to find a pair of combat sandals as soon as possible. He opted to zip his jacket up to the neck, avoiding the emo bad boy look at all cost. He stuck a hand in his left pocket and had his right hand rubbing sheepishly at his head.

"I feel like one of those pretty boys from those manga I used to read as a kid." He joked while laughing nervously.

Cid stood up and walked over to the boy. He looked him up and down slowly and then nodded while placing his fist on his palm, "You look fit for the academy. Your parents would be proud to see their boy looking like a fine young man."

"Yeah maybe my mother if she is watching over me. My dad… eh, he is probably busy where ever he is. I'm an orphan, but don't feel bad or anything, my parents died for me and that's the greatest gift someone can give." Naruto spoke softly, and added the afterthought to relax the man who had stiffened up uncomfortably upon hearing the news.

Cid visibly relaxed after hearing Naruto's heartfelt explanation. His eyes grew misty as he remembered something that Naruto wondered about, but would not intrude on his new headmaster's privacy.

"I think that you will fit in very well here, my dear boy. There are several other students here who have suffered similar circumstances. In a way, the Garden system is a work of genius that gives children a chance to become something great. For children who had been orphaned, this place becomes their home and their fellow students the family they would normally have been without. I have always done my absolute best for the futures of my charges, and you may look to me for anything that you need. My office is on the third floor, and I am normally free."

Naruto was rather impressed with the passion that the man seemed to emit while speaking. For all intents and purposes, Cid had no reason to trust Naruto. He also had no reason to care one way or another for the world hopper. Cid was clearly a man with a caring heart and a loving soul that had been looking out for others for a very long time. The old man reminded Naruto of the old Third Hokage from the village back home with his Will of Fire speeches.

"Now my boy, I will take you to meet one of our instructors, Miss Quistis Trepe. She teaches the fifteen through eighteen year age group everything they need to know to pass their exams and become our elite SeeD agents." Cid guided Naruto from the infirmary, the blonde waving casually toward the now gob smacked physician who stared at Naruto like he was some kind of ghost.

Cid noticed the small exchange and chuckled in a very fatherly tone, "You know, it might do well for you to explain why you aren't on death's door step considering not too long ago you looked like you'd been through some kind of meat grinder."

"That is complicated. I've always healed very quickly. Only near fatal wounds keep me down for longer than a day or two. It is something I was born with, so unfortunately I can't teach it to others." Naruto replied with a shrug as the two stepped out onto a mall bridge connecting the infirmary office hallway to a very large main hall.

Naruto took notice of all the strange technology around him. He found it odd that there was so much water located around the main entry hall, but he figured that the architect wanted a unique and charming atmosphere for the students studying here to feel relaxed and water was a very relaxing element. He took note of the large spire in the center that no doubt supported the upper floor as well as provided access to said floor. Cid took a right turn and walked along the circular walkway towards what Naruto guessed was the entrance. A large map was on display that Naruto knew would come in handy later on. A set of stairs led up to a set of elevators that Cid walked up to slowly, his hands behind his back in a casual manner. A soft ding sounded when the older gentleman pushed the button on the key pad.

"Old man, I erm… I am not so used to all this… technology. Will I get into any trouble if I get lost or confused by something strange?" Naruto asked while stepping into the round elevator with the old man Cid.

"Hm, I will see to it that the security personnel are made aware of your unique situation, as well as your instructor. We will be watching to make sure you don't use this as an excuse to skip classes of course." Cid warned, though his tone was amused rather than stern.

Naruto looked around as their elevator stopped to see a short bridge connecting the central column to the second floor hallway, "I suppose others have tried to skip classes around here as well?"

"You have no idea. The young people like to hide in the training ground during classes and after curfew. It amuses me that our security people haven't found their hideout, but far be it from me to comment on their work." Cid said in a cheerful tone that told Naruto the old man knew more than he let on.

The pair traveled down a circular hallway peppered with several doors. Naruto could see several classes in session with varying ages of students. It reminded him of his home and the shinobi academy where the student studied for four years. He felt a sudden nostalgia when he saw one of the instructors teaching a group of twelve year olds. The man looked to be in his mid twenties and had brown hair. Naruto chuckled thinking about the man he considered a big brother back home, the man who had never given up on him no matter how foolish he behaved in his act to be the class failure. Cid seemed to notice the glaze in Naruto's eyes, but he decided not to comment on it. He had his secrets, so he would let the young man have his as well. He just hoped those secrets wouldn't come back to bite him and endanger the students of Balamb Garden. The headmaster finally stopped at the end of the hallway where the last door was set into the wall about three inches. A key pad next to the door had multiple buttons in place for various purposes like locking, communication, and possibly a security override. While Cid rubbed his chin and examined the key pad for a moment while lifting his glasses off his nose, Naruto busied himself taking in his surroundings.

"Ah here it is. I swear these darn key pads need darker lettering…" Cid grumbled good naturedly before pressing a button and clearing his throat, "Excuse me, Quistis, may I steal you away from your lesson for a moment?"

A few moments later a beautiful feminine voice that Naruto thought sounded awful young to be a teacher responded, "Of course Headmaster Cid."

Cid stood back with his hands behind his back in a relaxed pose while he smiled at something private, Naruto put his hands in his pockets and bounced left and right on the balls of his feet to try and practice moving in his thick boots. When the door opened up two minutes later, Naruto looked over and was immediately forced to catch his balance as he was slightly taken aback. When one pictured teachers or instructors, one often pictured mildly pleasant looking people. Naruto comically pictured a grizzly older man with tons of muscles and scars teaching at a battle school. Instead, there stood an angel in human form that Naruto was sure would start spreading wings any second. Unlike the unrealistic beauty of the women back home in his village, this woman reminded him of the storybook princesses drawn on children's books. Her blonde hair shined in the light with every movement of her body, and was done up in the back in a cute pony tail, with two rather elegantly long bangs framing her face to fall down past her shoulders to her chest. She wore a pair of glasses that did nothing to hide her pretty blue eyes that twinkled with curiosity when she took in the sight of Naruto. The blonde knucklehead took only a moment to admire her shapely body, the curves of her modest bosom and hips hugged tightly by her instructor's uniform. Remembering to breath a moment later, he felt a bit sheepish having stared at her like an idiot. While he rubbed the back of his head and squinted his eyes shut to try and fight back the blush on his stupidly grinning face, Cid took pity on him by distracting the young lady.

"Quistis, how are you feeling today my dear?" Cid asked while smiling broadly.

Quistis regarded the headmaster with a warm smile before adjusting her glasses, a gesture that Naruto thought looked rather cute, "Very well today Headmaster Cid, the class is studying much harder with the exams a month away. If only I could get that fan club to join in the studying bandwagon."

Cid laughed heartily while watching his young instructor pout, "I did offer to transfer them over to Trabia last year when they held their SeeD exams so don't you go blaming me little miss 'I love troubled students.' But enough about the rest of your troublemakers, I have a new student that I would like to have attend your classes. His name is Naruto Uzumaki, he is seventeen, he has some experience in combat, but we are unaware of the extent of his training due to a bit of memory loss. For now he is eager to learn and has promised to be a well behaved student."

Naruto found Cid's woven lies to be both impressive and amusing. There was certainly more to this particular old man than met the eye, and he would keep his cerulean blues open around him. Understanding that as his cue to play the good boy, Naruto stood straight and bowed at the hip, keeping his face up to face Quistis, "Trepe-sensei, please make me strong!"

Cid and Quistis watched him wearing amused smiles, Quistis supporting a small tint of blush on her cheek bones as she spoke gently, "That's what I am here for Naruto, and I will do whatever it takes to make you and your classmates the best of the best."

Naruto leapt up and pumped his fist with a war cry of, "Yosh!"

"Good luck you two, I am expecting great things!" Cid called out as he walked off back towards the elevators at the other end of the hall.

The teacher and student duo watched the older man walk off before facing each other again. Naruto was still struck by how gorgeous his new sensei was, but he knew it was unbecoming to be love struck over a pretty face. With a cough into his fist to shake loose his nerves he let a foxy grin spread across his lips, "We better get in there sensei, before the other students think they can sneak off."

The blonde beauty smiled dazzlingly while her hand slide down her side to a rather vicious looking whip strapped to her belt, "Oh, they know better."

'I am always attracted to the dangerous ones…'