I shouldn't like this... Oh fuck, I really shouldn't like this. Here I am... sixteen years old... alone in my bedroom... and I'm staring at a picture I found online of my older bro, Dirk. Nothing wrong with that.. right? Yeah... I wish. But there's a problem with this picture. Dirk isn't wearing any clothes. And worse than that... I'm not closing this picture out on my laptop.

I can hear him too.. in the next room over. He's messing around with his robots again from what I can tell.. A clink here.. the buzz of a drill there. And I can hear him singing a bit, if I listen hard enough. He's got an amazing voice.. It's soft.. but nowhere close to childish. He sounds more like a mid twenty year old guy but he's only eighteen.

Anyway... I'm still staring at this fucking picture and listening to his voice and... Oh shit. Oh hell no. I did not just get a boner! Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck! I look down... Shit! There's a tent in my pants and I can't stop bringing my eyes back to that picture. Damn it Dirk... Why do you have to look so good naked?

Wait. No fucking way. I did not just think that. Holy fuck I did not just think that!

Or... Did I?

I take a few breathes, weighing my options.

I can close the laptop... Burn the damn thing... and go on with my day... or.. I could close this file, which now appears to be permanently fucking saved to my laptop.. Hope Dirk NEVER finds it... and go to the bathroom to take care of the problem in my pants.

The latter choice of course is much more plausible.. Not to mention Dirk won't question me about destroying the computer.. So I close the file, shut off my laptop, and stretch a bit before heading to the bathroom.

I have to pass his bedroom on the way there. When I do.. I can't hear him singing anymore. Instead.. I hear talking and laughing. I sigh... Jake must be video chatting him again. Not that I don't mind Jake... but I would rather not have him calling and video chatting my bro as much as he does. I mean.. Yeah.. Dirk likes him.. But I can't help but feel like the adventurer, who looks a lot like my best bro John, is taking him away from me. Maybe it's just a brotherly love thing.. But yeah.. I don't want that happening..

"Yeah. I'll talk to you later. See ya'."

That's when I hear his footsteps. I quickly flash-step out of the area, locking myself in the bathroom. I can hear him walk out to the kitchen, open the fridge, and then head back to his room.

"Yo Dave! I'm going to sleep! There's some pizza in the fridge if you get hungry man!"

I hear what sounds like his light switch and then his bed creak slightly. Good... Now he won't catch me doing this.

I lock the door, being as quiet as ever, and sit down on the ground. My pants are uncomfortable as hell at the moment so I pull them off, leaving myself to sit on the bathroom floor in my boxers and shirt. I think over what exactly I want to do.. Seeing as I didn't exactly do this a lot.. And finally come to the decision that I need my shirt removed. I close my eyes, pulling the shirt over my head and discarding it on the ground beside me. I keep my eyes closed, slowly beginning to rub my inner thighs as I try to imagine something that'll help me get off. What comes to my imagination however... horrifies me.

I can see the bathroom again, although my eyes are closed, and kneeling down in front of me, with only his boxers on, is Dirk. His hands are on my thighs and holy fuck why am I imagining him rubbing them?! I blush darkly but for some reason... I don't will the image away. Instead.. I let his hands stay on my thighs and travel up, brushing over my stomach. I gasp when he kisses my neck and I can't help but want more. I moan softly when I feel a hand slowly dance around the tent in my boxers and I stop for a moment, worried about the real Dirk hearing. Once I hear the soft snoring of my bro though... I know it's safe to continue. I carefully slide my hands under my boxers, imaging it's Dirk pulling them down. I do it slowly.. Knowing he'd probably be the one to tease.. And when I feel the cool air of our apartment hit my erection I gasp and take it in my hand. I moan again, this time a little less soft, as I imagine Dirk stroking me.. He's still wearing his gloves and it feels amazing. I keep this up, pumping myself as my imaginary bro kisses my neck and continues to jerk me off. I try to keep quiet, but soon my moans are escaping my mouth every few moments and I have to bite my lip to keep quiet. It's when I finally hit release however... That I realize that I moaned Dirk's name out pretty damn loudly. I freeze, hearing him shift in his bed. I quickly grab some toilet paper, clean myself up, and flush all evidence down the toilet before putting my clothes back on and hurrying back to my room. My heart is racing and holy shit... I think he heard me. Then I realize what the fuck I just did and.. And I'm disgusted with myself. I just jerked off.. To my own brother! What the fuck is wrong with me?!

"Dave? You still awake Lil' Man?" Dirk's voice. Oh shit! I quickly, change (and by change I mean pull off my shirt, pants, and signature aviator shades) and bury myself in the sheets of my bed. The door opens seconds later and I can tell he's watching me. He stands there for the longest time before I hear him coming near the bed. I hold my breath, closing my eyes tight and I feel the bed shift from him sitting beside me and I swear my heart skipped a beat. He of course notices I'm not asleep and brushes a hand through my hair. "Dave.. You ok..?"

I turn over, pretending to have been awaken and look at him through half lidded eyes. "Mm.. What is it bro? I'm trying to sleep.."

Dirk chuckles and plays with my hair a bit. I'm more than thankful now for the darkness because holy fuck... My cheeks are getting hot.

"Sorry little man.. Just thought I'd check on ya'. I can't sleep."

My heart stops. He can't sleep? That means... Oh shit... Please tell me he didn't hear! "So you decided to wake me up too?" I offer him a smirk, although it's not very effective since my shades are off, and he returns it with one of his own. For the first time... I realize he's not wearing his pointy anime shades and I can clearly see his orange eyes, glowing in the darkness.

"Sorry... Thought I heard you walk past my room so I thought you were awake. Want me to go?" He looks slightly disappointed and I shake my head slowly. Maybe this isn't my best idea considering what I just did... But I really do want him here with me.
He smiles, like... with a bit of teeth and everything... and slips into bed with me. I blush more, realizing he only has his boxers on, and I stop breathing for a second when he wraps his arms around me. "So why can't you sleep?" I ask with honest curiosity. He sighs in response and looks off to the side.

"You know how I like Jake right..?"

I nod.

"Well... I plan to ask him out tomorrow."

"What?" My own voice surprises me and obviously Dirk too because he gives me a weird look.

"What'd you mean what?"
I swallow thickly and stare at him. "Well... like... You're serious? About asking out Jake? Shouldn't you wait until you meet in person?"

Dirk only shakes his head. "Dave... I love him. It shouldn't make a difference if I tell him tomorrow or when we meet in person next month."

"Yeah... But what if he feels like you're moving too fast?"
"He won't. Jake isn't like that."
I sigh. "Yeah. Ok."

"Why do you seem so annoyed by the fact that I'm going to ask him out?" Dirk looks to me with a more serious expression this time and I glare back at him.
"I don't have a reason. I just don't understand how anyone can be in love if they haven't even met face to face."
"Oh... and like you weren't in love with that John kid?"
I shove him away from me at that. "Don't you dare fucking mention that.." I growl before turning over to face away from him. It was true... I had loved my best bro ever since we were kids. We met through an online chat and hit it off great. And after we had video chatted about six times.. I asked him out. We said I love you to each other and I was happier than ever... But then.. On the day we met in person... He said it wasn't working out. My heart had been broken that day... And now Dirk was reminding me of it all over again.

"Look Dave.. I'm sorry. I know it didn't work out for you and John.. But this is different. Jake may look like him.. But he's totally different and I love him." Dirk stared at me, obviously wanting me to understand.. But no matter what.. I couldn't bring myself to be ok with this. It was bad enough that Dirk had a crush on Jake... but asking him out?! I couldn't let that happen.

"Whatever bro.. Just.. Leave me the hell alone." I pull my blankets off him, wrapping myself in a tight cocoon. I don't even say goodnight to him when he leaves the room, the tears slowly falling down my cheeks.

I don't know why this hurt so much... He's my brother. I should be happy for him. But the thought of him dating Jake English makes me cry more. I love Dirk.. But now I wonder just how far that love for him goes.

I shake my head, although the tears keep falling, and I close my eyes, crying myself to sleep.