Wait, Peetas WTF?!
The final chapters.
Author's note:
Couldn't take it any more, had to finish it up. Referring to Megan's work on the same subject.
Peeta's POV
Kyle and I sat at the table in the cafeteria, dutifully eating our meal. I watched him when he wasn't looking, thinking to myself: how much longer could I keep it up?
We sat this way for a while, occasionally making small talk, but mostly just eating. When we are finished eating Kyle announces he has to go to command, and I wish him a good bye. He stands, busses his tray, and is gone. I sit alone, with baby, and am lost in a world of thought.
"Hi, Peeta," Katniss says. Jolted out of my inner world I straighten up and bid her to sit next to me. Setting her tray down, she does. Her braid brushes against my shoulder and I feel hot all over.
"Oh-hello, Katniss," I say back, all smiles. Katniss is more reserved, though; something clouds her face and I can feel a tension between us. She looks as if she wants to speak, and I am silent, giving her the opportunity. She opens her mouth, I wait expectantly, but all her words are consumed by the ungodly blaring of the District 13 alarm system.
Katniss looks shocked; I stand and grab her arm, ready to tear down to the bunker, but it is too late - we are both knocked to the ground as a missile tears down into the earth and at our bunker.
This room is still in tact, but I hear people screaming, scrambling for the exit, for safety. The lights have dimmed, but are still on, and I make my way over to Katniss on my hands and knees.
"We can still make it under ground!" she screams, "my mother - Prim -!"
Just then, to verify the audio system is still working, President Coin's voice comes through the speakers.
"Remain calm, citizens - that was a localized attack and the airspace is cleared. Those in need of medical treatment report to the hospital, all others will gather in the auditorium for a debriefing. Thank you."
"Katniss, are you hurt?" I ask, looking her up and down.
"No, no," she says and looks at me, "are you?"
"I'm fine - we're fine," I say with a wry smile, "but we should make our way to the auditorium as Coin says."
"I have a better idea," Katniss says and takes my hand, pulling me up and away from the other shocked people in the cafeteria.
I am taken to a supply closet, one of Katniss' many hiding places. We go in and she pulls me back down to the floor, curling in a little ball with her head in my lap. While I feel slightly obligated to be present in the auditorium, being surrounded by hysterical people doesn't sound like it would be good for my already frazzled nerves. Katniss' next question throws me for a grim loop.
"Do you like being pregnant?" she asks, avoiding my gaze.
I shrug, a vague gesture that doesn't cover up all the hostility in my voice, "no, not really. This is a rape baby - I'm not happy to be carrying and growing something so hostilely transplanted into my body."
Katniss is silent as she absorbs this answer. After a moment she asks another question, clearly beyond the point of wondering whether she is crossing any boundaries, "Do you like being a girl?"
I exhale a big puff of air, thinking: Where do I start with this one? I stroke her hair, comforting myself as much as her. "I must say, I like being a girl now; I've always just felt like myself, my body was a little irrelevant to me. I don't think I'll ever asked to be changed back into a boy."
Katniss seems to stir a bit, perhaps out of agitation? Disgust? I couldn't be sure.
"Do you know why your parents had a sex transplant performed on you?" Her voice is barely audible.
"No," I answer. The same question had been nagging at me for months and I still had no answer.
"Haymich told me," Katniss continues, "he said the Capitol was looking for subjects to do an experimental surgery on and your parents basically sold you to them. I thought you might like to know."
I laugh ruefully, "I'd just like to know how much money they made."
"Enough to buy the bakery back from the creditors," Katniss says. She is sitting up at this point, looking at me square in the eye.
"Well..." I say, thinking she is looking for me to comment further on the situation, "I'm glad I was good for something -."
"Peeta, did you ever wonder why there was a wall built up between us when it came to our romance?" Katniss' words tumble out fast.
"Gayle," I say dissuasively.
"It wasn't Gayle I had a crush on," she continues.
I can't speak, only look at her questioningly.
"My first crush was actually...Madge." The name comes out as a whisper.
"Madge?" I repeat, louder.
"I could never successfully fake our romance because - while I do love you, Peeta, like a friend - like a soul mate - I never thought of you as a...lover...because you were a boy."
This does throw me - Katniss - a...lesbian? Alarms go off in my head.
"But now you have Kyle, and for the first time I find myself so...attracted to you...I can't sleep at night because now not only do I want you by my side I want you...inside..."
"Katniss, I only started dating Kyle because I had given up...I thought you'd never like me back...and my new body scared me, I thought that because I was a girl I had to date a boy...but the flame burning inside my heart, it never died."
"Peeta," Katniss says slowly, her gray eyes trained on mine, "it is totally okay for two girls to be in love..." she takes my hand, "and make love."
Suddenly she is in my arms and I am kissing her. The thing she had felt before wells up inside her now, stronger than before, evident in the way she whimpers and bends at the touch of my hands. There is something in her earnest yearning that sets my own loins ablaze; the girl who was on fire was making me incredibly wet.
Something beautiful and naughty may have happened if Gayle had not yanked open the door at that moment, exposing us. I thought he might be shocked, ashen, or even angry; he just looks grim.
"The missile struck a command unit out in the field. Kyle is dead."
END CHAPTER
Sadness grips my heart - Kyle was a decent fellow, slow and one-dimensional, but he never really wanted to hurt anyone. His death was tragic because the loss of human life is tragic, and I feel guilty for the relief I feel.
I feel Katniss looking at me expectantly, and I meet her eyes; she is probably gauging my reaction. Her cheeks are flush; she is truly beautiful.
"He didn't have to die, I would have just broken up with him," I say dryly. Katniss bites her lip then wraps her arms around my midsection, holding me tight, most likely for her own benefit.
"And you two - are you both going to come out of the closet now?" Gayle says, an edge of humor to his otherwise flat voice. I look surprised - was that a gay joke? From Gayle?
"Relax, Peeta bread," Gayle says, ushering for us to come out of the actual closet, "I've known Katniss was gay for a long time. It confused me, and I had a very hard time accepting that she wasn't attracted to me. Its still hard," he says, the humorous edge gone as he stared into Katniss' back, "but no amount of me being creepy, willful, pushy or stalkerish is going to change her mind. Let bygones be bygones, right?"
"Right..." I say, still on the floor of the supply closet with Katniss, ignoring his commands.
"I was sent to find you - you're wanted in the hospital wing. Coin said she wants an update on the baby, in case something happened to it during the missile strike," Gayle continues.
"Oh, Peeta," Katniss says, looking down at my stomach, "I suppose we should go."
"Peeta should go," Gayle says to Katniss, "your mother wants to lay eyes on you, to make sure you're okay."
Katniss looks at me, unsure. "Go," I say, and smile at her, "I will see you at dinner tonight." I tilt her face up and kiss her; her eyes close for a moment, I can feel her breath on my lips.
"Okay," she says, and opens her eyes, "but I want to hear what happens when you return."
"Yes," I say as we move into a standing position, "you will have all the details, my Katniss." I give her a tight squeeze as Gayle pulls her away, her eyes stay glued to mine. I wave and walk the opposite way, towards the hospital wing. My mind is swirling from the events of the past hour and I hardly notice the pain in my stomach at first. I am still thinking of Katniss, her smile, her voice; I am perfectly distracted until the pain rips so surely through my entire body that I fall to the floor and writhe, an agonized version of Katniss's pleasured state.
I call out for help, but no one comes - they must either be in the auditorium or holed up in their compartments, retiring early, exhausted from the strike. I make myself crawl, teeth gritted, down the empty hall. The tile is cold under my hands and knees, but then I feel something warm and sticky, between my legs. I look down, straining to see over my extended belly, and finally spot the pool of blood forming between my legs.
I crawl faster, whimpering now, tears threatening to pop from my eyes; not now, not when I finally have Katniss, this can't be. I'll make it to the hospital, I think, they'll cut this baby out of me and I'll live, forever.
The pain is worse than ever; I am openly bawling now, my vision blurred, the vaguest outlines of the walls guiding me towards the hospital wing. I make it ten more agonizing yards, turn a corner, and a hallway - fifty feet at best - seems an impossible task, and I break, curling into a little bloody ball and sobbing on the hallway floor.
END CHAPTER
Katniss P.O.V.
It is a few hours later; I reunited with my mother and my sister, who were very happy to see me - and I to see them, really - and it wasn't long after that Gayle again ushered me away. On his communicuff an order had been issued for us to report to weapons facility, which I did with reluctance and Gayle did with relish.
It was there, in the weapons facility, that I was armed with my bow and arrows and taking turns with Gayle at shooting the lifelike human targets. Beetee is by the bank of computers, face lit up blue by the monitors, when I hear a crackling come from one of their speakers. I turn from my task and listen as Coin's voice comes over a secret intercom.
The crackling makes it difficult to hear, but I can make out most of the message; "Peeta...in hospital...danger...keep Katniss...away."
I don't wait for Beetee to try and stop me, I don't wait for Gayle's approval, I simply start running, bow in hand, to the elevator. My military training had really pumped me up; I could hear footsteps behind me, heavy and male so they must be Gayle's, but I don't stop and I don't turn to look. I skid into the elevator and press the button, shutting out all who might try to stop me.
Peeta, now a woman, must be in some kind of trouble; they're probably afraid I'm going to overreact at the sight of her condition, or maybe, just maybe...Peeta could be dead, in which case I would certainly overreact, something they will never be able to stop me from doing.
The elevator moves too slow; I will it upward, will it to go faster. Eventually it stops; I know it will let me off right in front of the hospital entrance. I load an arrow onto my bow and wait for the doors to open.
My hunch was correct. There are two guards waiting for me when the elevator door opens. "Back away," I yell, pointing the arrow back and forth between them, "or I'll shoot."
I've caught them off guard and in their moments hesitation rush past them, banging one in the back of the knee so that they fall to the ground. The other one starts hollering and I ignore it, all ready well into the maze of hospital beds and cubicles. Voices; one might be Coin's, one is definitely Haymich. I follow them, eventually winding up at the mouth of a large room with a very small Peeta lying in the center on a hospital bed, only semi-conscious. Hidden behind a plastic divider, I catch my breath and listen.
"He's dying Coin, can't you see that?" Haymich says, throwing up his hands.
"It doesn't matter - seeing who or what this baby is could give us valuable insight into Snow's head. Its too valuable."
"More valuable than Peeta? What would Katniss say? Don't you need her as the Mockingjay?"
What would I say? Peeta, my best friend who had been horrible corrupted by the government but at least spared, was about to loose what was left of his life. And now that he was happily living as a woman, and I finally tore down the wall that was between us?
"We do need her, but not for much longer - Peeta's death won't bring her down faster than she's already declining. The baby stays."
"You're making a mistake, Coin," Haymich warns with a shake of his head.
"A huge mistake." I step out from the curtain with an arrow drawn, pointing directly at Coin, "declining, huh? Then I renounce my position as Mockingjay, today, and I'm taking Peeta with me."
Coin's face doesn't change; I have never seen her excited, and I wasn't going to get the opportunity here. "Put your weapon down, Katniss," she says, "there is nothing you can do to save him - all the doctors here have been instructed to save the baby.
"Think about what you're doing, Katniss," Haymich says "we've worked really hard to get you to this place-"
"And you're not going to throw it out for true love, are you, Katniss?" Coin seethes.
"I am," I yell, rushing the table, "Peeta is not going to die just so you can have the gross satisfaction of examining what's inside him." I grab the table and start to push, and of course Coin orders security to come quickly through her communicuff.
I really had no plan, at that point; I was desperate, and would have never made it out had the whole room started shaking again.
"Dammit!" Haymich says, diving to the ground and covering his head.
"They should have been able to warn us first!" Coin exclaims, wobbling. I hold onto the gurney and it keeps me from falling, though I can't help but stumble a bit as the next bomb hits. This one is a doozy; the lights flash, I hear a female scream, and I start pushing Peeta frantically through the door and out the hall.
"Everything is going to be okay, Peeta, I promise!" I say to him as I race down the hallway. Everyone would be heading to the underground safe house; I had to get Peeta somewhere isolated so I could -
So I could what? I could see Peeta's belly under the hospital gown; it was roiling and swollen. I could see the fresh blood on the sheets and his clothes and I knew what I had to do - I had to kill the baby before it killed him.
The supply closet was going to be cramped, but it would have to do. We turned a corner as things continued to rumble, and the room was just big enough to fit us both in. I shut the door and swept a shelf of pencils to the floor, setting my bow there. I took Peeta's hand and touched it to my face. He stirred.
"Peeta," I whisper, a lump in my throat, "Peeta, can you hear me?"
His eyelashes fluttered open and he looked around, dazed, then the blue irises settled on me. "Katniss," he whispers back and a smile plays across his lips.
My face breaks a little, thinking of what I'm going to have to do. "Peeta, you're in trouble-"
"I know," he says, and doubles up in pain, "I heard."
"I - I know I'm not the best healer, but I'm going to try - try my best." I bite my lip.
"I'm dead if you don't; at least if you try, I'll have a chance." His smile is grim, the blood drained entirely from his face.
I nod for the time being, and set to my task. I rip off one of the leather straps attached to the table and proffer it to Peeta saying, "bite this." He nods and accepts. Then I take one of my arrows, the non explosive kind, and wedging it between two steel bar's on Peeta's table, snap the head off. Its pointy, and jagged, but with some careful maneuvering I think I might be able to get it in without too much damage. I hoped.
Positioning myself between his legs, I then push them into an upright position, one suitable for...birthing? I look up at his face and he nods again, but there are beads of sweat dotting his forehead and upper lip, his ample bosom nearly heaving. I swallow and approach his vagina.
My hands shake. I place the fingers of my left hand on either side and ease it open; taking the broken arrow, as steadily as I can manage, I begin to insert it.
Peeta groans; the thing inside his belly is churning harder, moving more rapidly, as if sensing someone encroaching. I push in further and the violent spasms only get more frequent. I look up again at Peeta and see that his eyes are rolled back, and he is wanting to cry out. A hot chill rolls over me and I double my efforts at diligence.
I gently probe the arrow inside, getting closer. Suddenly, the baby stops moving. I freeze in response and break into a sudden cold sweat. Could I have killed it? This easy? How was I going to get it out?
Still staring at the arrow I ask, "Peeta? Are you okay?" I look up to see him shaking his head emphatically. I look back down and panic, sticking the arrow in further.
Peeta screams. I scream. The baby...screams? A howl emanates from between Peeta's legs and again I panic. I move the arrow shaft forward more and Peeta starts howling; now the baby is positively freaking out, it almost looks like its going to break through the taught skin of Peeta's stomach.
Suddenly, Peeta sits up, the piece of leather long gone from his mouth, and starts to push. I prod the arrow further; if he pushes it out while I pierce it, we might have some success.
But the baby has other ideas; Peeta screams and grips the table with white knuckles. I'm saying over and over, "its going to be okay! Its going to be okay!" Minutes pass, they seem like hours, and then Peeta is giving the greatest heave of all and whoosh! placenta and blood and - the baby - pop out, covering most of the floor in a slick, awful smelling mess.
It takes a moment for me to recover and then I rush to Peeta's side. I take his head in my hands and hold it softly; his eyes are closed, his breathing ragged.
"Peeta," I whisper. His clammy hand rises to cover mine and with what must be the last remaining shred of energy he has left he says, "I'm okay, Katniss."
I broadly smile back, crying all the while, and he grins too until something clouds his face. "The baby?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper. My smile fades as well and I look at the mess on the floor, at the unmoving lump that Peeta just birthed. I'm looking at it, for a while, until it dawns on me that something is...wrong. I move closer, my heart pounding, and confirm what I think is just an illusion; the baby is furry. Well, furry and scaly.
"Its a mutt!" I proclaim and jump back; Peeta grabs my arm.
"But is it dead?" he says. I stare holes in it, and it doesn't move. I grab the abortive arrow shaft and gingerly approach; cautiously, I reach out with the arrow to prod, inch by inch, until I make contact.
Poke. Nothing happens. Poke. Poke. Still nothing. I'm going in for another poke when I hear the growl. Its not a soft growl, like I imagined a baby mutt would have, but a loud menacing one and before I can react the mutt baby - half lizard and half dog - is flying through the air right at me. I jump back and reach for my bow but am so shaken I can't locate it; the baby sinks its teeth into my arm and I screech, trying desperately to shake it off.
"Kill it, Katniss!" Peeta yells.
"I'm trying!" I yell back, shaking my arm and spinning in circles. The blood makes everything slick and I fall backwards into a shelf. Luckily this move cracks the baby against a sharp piece of metal and it releases me; my bow has fallen next to me and I seize it, loading up an arrow. I take aim, and fire, but the little creature is too fast, darting past my arrow and out the door.
"Go after it, Katniss!" Peeta says, "if it makes it into the underground safe house, it could slaughter everyone - you have to finish the job."
I wince. "I don't want to leave you," I say and take his hands in mine.
"I'll just rest - and you'll come back to me," Peeta says. I nod, and before any other words can be exchanged I rip myself from his side and dash out the door, on the trail of Peeta's mutt baby.
The baby is easy to follow, a trail of blood leads down the hallway. I follow the tiny bloody footprints, shaped kind of like a dogs but with long reptilian claws. I follow them, blocking everything out, though there is not much to see; everyone must be underground and the complex feels abandoned.
I start to panic; the footprints are getting lighter, the blood wearing off. I run and run and run, weapon loaded, and then I hear a scream. I look up; I'm in an area of the complex I'm not really familiar with. I hear another scream and I find I'm in luck: the footprints lead in through a cracked door. I shoulder it open and step inside.
The mutt baby is devouring president Coin. She looks at me, pleading, "Katniss! Help!"
I just stand there, unmoving. I could take out the baby easily from here as the baby is somewhat statically chewing a hole in Coin's neck. The president is choking now, her eyes the only thing able to plead.
I could stop this. I should stop this. All I say is, "the Mockingjay is just a stupid bird."
Coin collapses on the table, her fingers twitch and then go still. The baby, obviously satiated, turns its attention towards me. Without hesitation I shoot it through the mouth and pin it to the back wall of Coin's office. I turn on my heel and walk out, back to my woman, towards my new life.