Rainy Dreams
Inspired by: Kiss the Rain-Yiruma
Characters: Lu Bu and Zhang Liao (Along with my DW OC, Zhou Cai)
Genre(s): Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Spiritual
Warnings: Slash (M/M), Shouen-ai, Male kissing
Summary: On a rainy day in Chang'an, a normal rainy afternoon spent with his dear friend will stir up some pressing issues within Zhang Liao. But can he face the cold truth reality may give him because of it, or will he be rewarded with the thing he desires most of all?
On rainy days, people tend to fade from reality and escape to their own cheerful worlds within their dreams. Dreams created from their hopes, their wishes, and their deepest desires their mortal souls have, allowing them to see the future they could have, even if some parts were merely fantasy. In Chang'an Castle, it was the same as most of the Generals had settled in different parts of the gloomy castle to spend this day as they pleased and, for two close friends, they spent the time conversing about their lives over cups of warm tea. Not that either minded. The two, Strategist Zhou Cai and General Zhang Liao, always anticipated these rainy days during this time of broiling turmoil across the country; it relaxed the two to be able to sit down and simply talk to one another without having to involve any of the other kingdoms in the conversation, a time where they could simply be friends.
Zhou Cai went on about a story from her childhood, one of many that the General had heard before, though he didn't mind as he gazed out to the rainy gardens through the window the two always occupied on days like this, allowing his mind to wander as Zhou Cai continued her story. His mind immediately took him to a familiar dreamland he had created over the years he had aged: A land of peace and simple pleasures, with spacious fields that were always a lush green and large Sakura trees were always in bloom, where the sun always kissed the sky and earth with it's warm rays, and where children were able to play freely wherever their imaginations took them. The land was ruled by a firm and honest leader, one who was protective of his people and loving to his family. And then there was his dream family, the one he wished to have by his side long after the war was over: Zhou Cai, who would obviously be the caretaker and unofficial mother of the household; she'd help tend to everything as was suitable, two children-a boy and a girl, who would be ever so loving towards both their parents and grow up to be strong, prominent figures in the future. Then there was the partner he always dreamed of settling down with, someone who had been by his side through everything in their lives, the only other person in his life that understood him besides Zhou Cai: Lu Bu.
He could confess to himself that he had felt this way towards Lu Bu for quite some time, ever since he met the warrior when he arrived at this castle just weeks before the battle as Su Shui Gate. He wanted more than anything to let the man know of these feelings, but decided it was for the better to keep them to himself, especially when he found out about Diao Chan later on. Though heartbroken from the news of the dancer girl, he still remained loyal and continued to fight on by Lu Bu's side. He cared too much to leave him behind if anything should happen. He later met Zhou Cai after her capture and agreement to become Dong Zhuo's head strategist; the two had been such close friends since then and could never be apart, and if they were found together in the castle or on the battlefield, Lu Bu was never too far away from the pair. And though it could never be possible in his life now, Zhang Liao still dreamt of the day where the land would be at peace, where he could finally settled down with his dear friends so that they may begin to make their own lives. And even if he could never have Lu Bu in his future, he could still dream of such a future, as he had for so long now.
"Wenyuan, are you okay?" The gentle tone of the female strategist's voice stirred Zhang Liao from his thoughts. He glanced at the other warrior and noticed the hint of concern painted in her large, blue eyes, ones that always reminded him of calm rivers flowing through snowy mountains. She was always one to notice the feelings of others without any exchange of words; it was like the sixth sense the girl had that even Zhang Liao never understood.
"I'm fine, Fengcai." Zhang Liao sighed as he set down his cup on the tray between the two then returned his head to the hand of his arm propped on the edge of the window they sat beside, staring out into the misty gardens. "I was just caught in my own thoughts for a moment."
"Then your thoughts must be as dreary as the day is grey." Zhou Cai quietly stated, reaching over and wiping a stray tear from the other's cheek then gently cupped the surface in her hand, the soft caress almost welcomed by the other as he glanced away. "What can bother a person so much that it causes the most stone-faced of Generals to weep?"
Zhang Liao solemnly sighed, brushing the hand away as a wistful smile is flashed at the other. "It's nothing you need to concern yourself with."
"Don't lie to me, Wenyuan." Zhou Cai sternly warned the General. "You know I don't care to see my friends quietly suffer in the shadows." She laid her hand on the others, forcing him to look back at her. "Tell me the truth now: What's bothering you so much?"
Zhang Liao quietly sighed, glancing back out the window. "Do you have a dreamland?"
"What does that have to do with this?" Zhou Cai inquired curiously.
"Just answer the question."
"Yes, we all do; it's part of human nature." Zhou Cai explained.
"What is it like?" Zhang Liao asked.
Zhou Cai went to speak but pauses, pondering her words carefully before she spook again. "It's a peaceful land, ruled by a wise and strong man, a hero renowned by all his people. It's a place where violence never rears its head, a place where the children can roam free without the worry of ravenous wild animals or bloodthirsty warriors charging into their homes at night. It's a place where even the most anxious of hearts can find peace."
"And where is your place in this world of yours?"
"My place is simply in the background with the rest of the people, living a simple life within the walls of my former lord, settling down with a fellow warrior and finally being able to live again without having a reason behind it, except to simply exist." Zhou Cai explained. "But why the sudden interest in my dreams, Wenyuan?" She asked. "What does this have to do with anything?"
"My worries come from my own dreams." Zhang Liao stated. "My dreamland is also a land of peace, where only simple pleasures are needed, where the children are free to grow as they please, where the grass is always green and the sun always warms the earth."
"And where are you in this entire land of yours?"
"Like you, I live but a simple life in this land, with two fellow Generals I have fought beside for what seems like ages, two people I trust my life with." Zhang Liao looked away from the window, his dark eyes meeting the dark sapphires across from him. "And you're one of them, Fengcai."
"Really?" Zhou Cai gasped, being reassured by a nod from the General. "Then who is the other?"
Zhang Liao sighed heavily as he looked away, ensuring no one else was in the corridor to hear. "The other is the reason for my worries, it's someone I care much about, but may never be able to live out my dreams the way I wish to live them out with them."
"Who is it?" Zhou Cai asked; Zhang Liao simply shook his head, keeping his eyes low until the other tilted his face, forcing him to look her in the eyes. "You can trust me, Wenyuan."
Zhang Liao sighed again, unsure whether to reveal this secret of his that he had kept for the longest time to what he considered his closest friend within these walls. The very same friend who had been by his side when Lu Bu wasn't, who shared his resentment for the deviant dancer who stole Lu Bu's heart, and who had told all her darkest secrets to him. Could he really trust such a dark, forbidden side of him to his only other dear friend?
He let out another sigh, brushing a loose dark brown bang as he carefully spoke. "It…It's Lu Bu." His gaze immediately fell as the strategist loses grip on his chin, allowing him to turn away. "He's been on my mind for the longest time now, and I want nothing more than to see him happy in this life, even if it means my passion needs to remain in my dreams."
He expected some sort of volatile reaction from the other, as he knew she too shared feelings for the Immortal Phoenix they both loyally followed since they had met the man. A gentle caressing of his cheek replaced the expected slap to his face, and the expected expression of anger is, instead, one of compassionate understanding embracing the other's features. He looked away again, suddenly feelings tears escape his eyes which quickly disappeared from a few strokes of the other's hands before they gently forced him to look at her.
"I knew there was a reason behind your understanding before, when I told you about my same feelings just months before." She stated, wiping a tear of her own away as it strayed from her eye. "I just never realized what it was until now."
"So…you're not upset?" Zhang Liao gasped. "I figured you would be, because of-"
"That doesn't matter, Wenyuan. Love is love, no matter who is it toward or who else shares the target of your affection; no one has a right to judge you upon it." Zhou Cai explained. "But why does your dream of him and you worry you to tears now, my friend?"
"Diao Chan." Zhang Liao murmured, grabbing the wrist of the hand on his cheek. "As long as she bewitches Fengxian with her beauty, my feelings can only remain in my dreams."
"You don't know that." Zhou Cai sadly chuckled, glancing towards the window herself then looking back at the General. "Perhaps this should more be handled with Lu Bu himself than between two friends. Diao Chan is busy with Dong Zhuo at the moment, so now would be the best time to approach him about all of this."
"I'm not sure if I could," Zhang Liao confessed.
"You'll only know if you have the courage to confess to him," Zhou Cai stated, pulling her hand away then carefully lifting the tray as she stood. "At least grant him the honor of being able to know these feelings that worry you so, that's what any friends would do."
Zhang Liao stood with a nod, watching as Zhou Cai disappeared down the corridor before slipping on his helmet and walking away himself, making his way to Lu Bu's quarters. When he reached the doors of the General's room, he leaned against one of the doors with a heavy sigh, contemplating whether or not he should really go through with this like Zhou Cai had said to. What if the other didn't return his feelings, or would become disgusted from the confession? Risking his dreams was one thing, but he didn't wish to risk losing the friendship he had with the man, as it may be all he would ever have between himself and the General.
"I'm not sure I can really go through with this after all," Zhang Liao murmured to himself.
"Go through with what?"
The low voice startled the General. Looking up, he found Lu Bu standing in the doorway of the one open door, causing the smaller General to fluster in shame.
"My apologies, I…I need to speak to you about something." Zhang Liao explained, trying to remain calm while also trying to settle his flustered color. "It's something I've been meaning to bring up for the longest time, but never had the privilege of privacy to do so."
Lu Bu nodded with a grunt and a small smirk, gesturing for the other to enter the room. Zhang Liao reluctantly did so, taking a moment to examine the room. The room was decorated with only the finest furniture in all of China: A silk folding screen with a might phoenix delicately painted onto the front, a large weapon rack trimmed with gold, holding battle and training halberds, and a large bed adorned with black, red, and gold bedding. He turned to look back at the man, only to find himself almost buried in the toned chest of the other man, causing the slowly receding red color to return to his face when he realized Lu Bu wasn't wearing his chest plate as usual. He took a step back, taking a minute to collect himself before looking up to meet eyes with the man, finding his voice nearly lost at the sight of two stern pools of dark chocolate.
"What is it you wish to speak to me about?" Lu Bu asked, pulling the stunned Zhang Liao back to his senses once again.
"Well." Zhang Liao sighed, tucking a strand of hair under his helmet before continuing. "Certain thoughts have been causing me to worry for the longest time now, and I think the only way to quell them once and for all is to approach the cause of these thoughts which cause me worry."
"And why is it you're telling me all this?"
Zhang Liao shakily sighed under his breath as his gaze fell, carefully looking back up at the man before him. "The reason I'm approaching you about all of this…is because you are the cause of these thoughts which seed worries in my head and heart so much."
"What do you mean?" Lu Bu inquired curiously, seeming to pay much more attention now.
"I can't simply explain this in a way that will make sense given the situation between you and Diao Chan." Zhang Liao solemnly sighed, turning and shuffling towards one of the windows, leaning on the edge of the window with his hands as he stared out over the steamy greenery. "That's why I have been hesitant about explaining all of this to you before."
The General is surprised when two strong arms wrapped around him, his face turning a brighter red when he felt a toned chest flushed against his back and a strong chin planted between his shoulder and neck. He glanced to the side, meeting the familiar pair of chocolate eyes, and noticing the strangely softer glow they had.
"Then let's pretend Diao Chan isn't involved in this." Lu Bu stated, his breath tickling the smaller General's ear. "See if that makes it easier."
Zhang Liao sighed, returning his gaze back to the gardens beyond the window. "You see, I've created a personal dreamland of my own that's perfect in every way, a land of peace. Where no one fears war or death, where the sun always warms the earth, and where the leader is as strong as he is honest to his people. A land I dream to finally retire my axes for."
"And who would be joining you in this dreamland of yours?" Lu Bu inquired, his arms tightening around the other's chest.
"Two of my dearest friends: Zhou Cai…and you." Zhang Liao stated, carefully turning to the phoenix as the arms loosen from around him. "Fengxian…For the longest time, I've been trying to protect my own dreams from shattering from what I believed to be the harsh reality my life would try to force feed me to ruin my dreamland. Where my life is simple, where nothing will ever fail me…where I can enjoy life with my dear friend and…" Zhang Liao's gaze fell.
"And what?" Zhang Liao didn't respond; the larger man gently forced the other to look back at him, seeing sorrowful regret in the other's eyes. "Zhang Liao?" The smaller man bit his lip at the murmur of his name as he tried to look away, unable to hide the tears building in his eyes. "Look at me." The command form such a strangely soft tone, especially from the Immortal Phoenix himself, has Zhang Liao return his gaze to the other.
Nothing else is said as a pair of soft, stern lips is pressed against his own, the smaller warrior tensed up in surprise. After a few moments, teary eyes fluttered shut as the kiss is returned, strong arms wrapping around the smaller waist as the arms of the other are locked around the neck of the larger man. The two are trapped in the blissful, velvety kiss until the need to breathe is too much, causing them to hastily end the sensual contact. A hand left Zhang Liao's waist to wipe the fresh tears that had slipped out during the passionate kiss before it gently cupped the fair cheek. They met one another's gaze again, with an equal, underlying passion that was reflected in both pairs as the larger man carefully leaned down, gently touching foreheads with the smaller.
"You need not worry any longer, Wenyuan," Lu Bu murmured, smiling gently as the other looked up at him with soft but surprised eyes. "The feelings have always been mutual."
"Since when?" Zhang Liao asked, gripping the wrist of the hand on his cheek.
"Since the day I first saw you in battle," Lu Bu admitted, rubbing his thumb under the other's dark hazel eye. "I could sense the fire of a fierce warrior in you that day we fought side-by-side at Su Shui, and I knew that our fates were tied somehow, just not in the way I thought they would be."
"So you were doubtful as well?"
"I admit. I was very doubtful for the first time in my life." Lu Bu sighed. "Only because of how Zhou Cai was warming up to you later on after she joined our forces; I thought you would have no interest, so I kept to myself while I tried to move on."
"That's why you're with Diao Chan."
"Yes. I thought she would help me forget about these feelings I have for you, but she only seemed to stir them even more. So I simply used her to distract others from asking of my past romances now."
"So she has simply a ploy?"
"Yes, until I could finally put to rest these emotions that have run rampant since I can recall. Heartless, I know, but it was the only thing I could do at the time." Lu Bu sighed. "But if I had known sooner that you felt the same, I…" He's stopped by a tender finger on his lips, which is soon replaced by a pair of lips in an equally tender kiss.
"It's alright." Zhang Liao murmured as he pulled away. "Now that I know the truth, there's no need for you to explain anything more. I know all I need to know already."
The two men exchanged gentle smiles as the smaller one nuzzled into the other's neck before being swiftly scooped off his feet and deposited on the silk sheets of the bed. Zhang Liao gave the larger General a curious look, being pecked on the forehead as the other chuckled.
"What's the matter?"
"I thought you preferred to be alone on days like this."
"I usually did." Lu Bu sighed as he lies down on the bed. "Because rainy days like these always remind me of that day you first arrived here what seems like ages ago now, which only added to my stirring passion for you." He turned to face Zhang Liao. "But now that we both have aired out these feelings, I'd feel much more comfortable to have company with me, especially yours."
Zhang Liao smiled with a chuckle, slipping off his helmet and quickly removing his chest plate before settling beside Lu Bu. A strong arm wrapped around him, pulling him into warmth he had only felt in his dreamland, where the sun always warmed the lands, just as Lu Bu had always warmed his heart for so many years now. As the patter of the rain on the roof lulled him to sleep, he felt content knowing what was waiting in his dreamland was slowly beginning to become a reality.