Disclaimer: Ouran belongs to Bisco Hatori, thank you!

Chapter One: Phoenix Flight

It had been for some time now.

The soft clicking of our shoes echoed in the wide hallway. Hikaru grinned at me, his dark ash hair reflecting light in a crown about his head. He was chatting away and I occasionally nodded, pretending to listen. I was the better actor, the finer performer. He would never be able to sense my discord, my distress at the disintegration of my senses. My fears...Would he be able to see them? My twin who has been with me since I was born?

Suddenly, Hikaru stopped to stare at me. My breathe caught in my chest. Has he found out?

"Kaoru...When you gave up Haruhi...Are you really sure of it?"

The curiosity in his voice was obvious. Relieved, I chuckled.

"Don't be silly, Hikaru. Of course I'm sure! There's still many flowers to choose from, and just because we're twins doesn't mean we have the same taste in ladies."

That's right, Hikaru. When I said I loved Haruhi, I was telling the truth. But the entire truth was that I didn't love her the way you and Tono do. Not a bit. I love her in a way that she was the bond between our world and the outside world. I love Haruhi that she is like a teacher to us, teaching us and guiding us slowly to the outside world where there were other people who would surely accept me and Hikaru.

Hikaru laughed at my answer and grinned, the identical expression on my face.

"When you spot a girl you like, I'll be supporting you! Just like how you're helping me now."

My smile dimmed in disappointment, but my twin took it as gentle appreciation. I decided to play along. "Thank you, Hikaru." "No problem, we're twins right?" His self-confidence was strong, and for that I am glad. I love you the most, Hikaru, and I pray that you will never notice.

We both opened the door to the music room where the Host Club members were getting ready for the day. "Here are your costumes," Kyouya-senpai spoke without really looking at us, pointing at the table. The theme for today was Greek Personification. Tono was of course, Eros the Love. Haruhi was Themis, the female embodiment representing the custom and law, befitting her ambition of becoming a lawyer. Mori-senpai was Kratos, for strength while Honey-senpai was Nike, the female goddess of Victory. Kyouya-senpai was Erebos, the Darkness. Too suitable for the Shadow King!

As for me and Hikaru, we were Thanatos and Hypnos, twins Death and Sleep. Morbid, but I think it is a beautiful depiction. From a corner I could see Tono crying at Haruhi's refusal to put on her costume. "Even though there isn't too much difference between a male and female costume for Greek era, this is simply too much! Bareback is not for me, especially when I need to keep my gender a secret," Haruhi curtly reasoned, dealing Tono another blow when he realized he was about to expose his love interest in such a 'atrocious manner'.

I shook my head. Even after Tono realized his feelings for Haruhi, he was still pretty much an idiot. "Haruhi, I'll trade with you. My clothes are bigger, so it'll probably be baggier but it should be fine," I offered up my costume. Bareback was no big deal for a guy like me. Haruhi smiled gratefully.

"Thank you, Kaoru."

I nodded back at her with a grin. I had to do my best today, because it will be the last day I will be hosting. Soon enough, the ladies filed into the room and gushed over our usual brotherly love act.

"It seems so sad, Kaoru-kun that you are Thanatos! Both of you are so lively, you shouldn't be Death and Sleep," one of them lamented. Hikaru put up his act, claiming, "But Death and Sleep are twins inseparable, and we go hand-in-hand...Sleep is a second death." He quoted Shakespeare's imagery as he pulled me close and caressed my cheeks. I pretended to blush and shake my head. "Hikaru...It is only suitable that you are Sleep, for you will awaken into the beauty of life while I...I am destined for darkness!"

Hearing my supposedly-fake lament, Hikaru hugged me tightly. "Don't be so silly, Thanatos! Where you are, eternal slumber shall be in your wake. I am always by your side..."

"Oh, Hypnos! How can you still bear to be with me, the most hated Personification of all?"

"You are my twin, Thanatos! Even if the whole world is against you, I am forever your ally."

Then Hikaru cradled me in his arms as I pretended to cry. The girls around us shrieked with joy at our act. "It's so beautiful and touching today," they cried with elation, while Renge nodded approvingly. "As Thanatos embodies Death, it has cast a wonderful 'shadow' on the loving relationship of the twins...What a moe point!!" She started scribbling in her note furiously.

As a brilliant finish to my last act...And as my confession, I looked up to Hikaru, and whispered in the most solemn voice I could muster,

"Hypnos...If my being Death could assure to you my unfailing love...I shall remain a beloved Thanatos in eternal slumber forever yours."

Hikaru looked confused, because it was not part of our planned act, and I didn't want him to decipher those words as my confession of love. Discreetly, I winked at him, and he thought immediately that I was just adding something spontaneous to spice things up and his acting took over.

"Thanatos, whether you be in sleep or awake you are forever mine."

As I pretended to blush and look away again, the girls squealed. That was how my last day as Host ended. Not that anyone was aware.

Hikaru was deep in sleep when I slipped out, carrying all the luggage I could with me. I smiled sadly at my other half. I wished so much I could kiss him goodbye, but I knew if I as much as touched him I would lose the courage to leave. I love Hikaru, but I have to leave. I must leave! For Hikaru's sake I need to disappear from his life as long as I should. Placing down a letter on the table we shared, I slipped away in the darkness of the night, praying he would wake up late so that it would be too late for him to track me down by then.

Kaoru's prayers were answered.

Hikaru only woke up in the afternoon at two, confused when he discovered his twin was not in bed with him. Groggy, he looked around and discovered a foreign object in their room. An envelope. Curiosity made him open the envelope, only to be overwhelmed by confusion and despair.

'Dearest Hikaru,

When you read this letter, I will already be gone. Don't worry, I will write back to you when I have the opportunity to do so. Hate me if you must, Hikaru. You surely are thinking that I have abandoned you when I promised to support you always. But don't blame yourself, ever. It is not your fault that I left. It's mine. I did something unforgivable, so I can't stay with you. And I won't tell you where I am, because I don't want you to find me. I only ask you to trust in me, and the decision I came to. When I am ready, I will return. But when...I'm not sure. Promise me you will be good. I want to see you happy when I come back.

Lots of love,

Kaoru.'

The letter fluttered out of his hands, slack from shock. Confused, Hikaru called Tamaki, blabbering incoherently, but he did make out the urgency of his request. Within the hour, all the Host members were gathered in the Hitachiin home. Needless to say, they were all shocked and already everyone was putting their efforts into looking for Kaoru.

Hikaru was silent, in a quiet hysteria.

His twin, the younger brother, his very own half had left him! Why?!

Before he noticed it, Haruhi was kindly dabbing his cheeks with a handkerchief. Hikaru had not realized that he was crying. "We will definitely find him," Haruhi assured him. He dumbly nodded, too dazed to properly react.

But Kaoru was never found, even with the extensive help of the Ootori, Suoh, Morinozuka and Haninozuka family. His mother was distraught, while his father was helpless. Hikaru had never felt more insecure in his life. Their schoolmates were shocked, and after three months every one knew it was not a prank.

Hikaru was dead; dead without his twin. Haruhi had taken it upon herself to look after him. Kaoru would be glad if he knew Haruhi was spending much more time with Hikaru since Hikaru liked Haruhi, and it is wonderful if they became more intimate. Kaoru only wished for Hikaru's happiness, but no one would know Kaoru's thoughts because Kaoru is no longer at Ouran.

One day, a thick envelope arrives at the Hitachiin home. Upon opening it, Hikaru discovers it is a lengthy letter from Kaoru. Kaoru spoke with not much happiness, but with content in his letter. Hikaru was informed that Kaoru was indeed safe, and living his life quietly. Of course, Kaoru sends his love, but Hikaru was resentful. He wanted Kaoru to tell it to his face!

There was no return address,but there was a postage sticker indicating where the letter was sent from. A search team was dispatched there, but no traces of Kaoru was ever discovered.

When informed of the disappointing news, all Hikaru could do was hold Kaoru's letter to his chest and cry all night. He was incomplete without his twin, and he longed for his half to return.

But as all humans go, they will eventually stand up again and walk.

It's a very short chapter, but I do hope it will grow longer as I write. I've recently returned to my obsession with twincest, and it's very strong right now! xD