Despite the fact that the work has begun, challenges lie ahead for the work crews on the house. Meanwhile, Nanny begins to learn a few things about herself, and human relations in general, when she has three important conversations one of which brings her face to face with the facts of life.
Renovation: Reconstruction
"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. (Colossians 3:12)
Chapter 1: Head Games
Wednesday morning, Hal dropped the older kids off at the worksite and then went over to the university, ostensibly to work, but actually to talk to Phil before Phoebe came over for lunch. Their session was scheduled for one pm. Phil was going to come over to his office. If Phoebe called, Hal didn't want to have to worry about explaining why he was out. Phoebe and Prudence were going to spend the morning with Flemings at the rectory and then go over with them to Montclaire to visit with Eliot. Joni had said that she would be happy to keep Prudence with her for the afternoon.
When Phil entered, he shook his hand and sat down. He had an interesting smile on his face.
"Phoebe is quite a girl," he commented.
"Oh, yes," agreed Hal. "She's one in a million."
"Don't take this the wrong way, but how do you live with it?" asked Phil seriously.
Hal became just as serious. "Well, I will admit that when she first came to live with us, she drove me crazy. The kids adjusted first, although Hal was a hold out for a while. I'm afraid that you didn't see her best side on Monday. She is normally very sweet and playful. And quite frankly her ability to anticipate needs and read below the surfaces of words and actions has made her a very compassionate woman. Usually, she is the soul of tact and kindness. I would say that you had her on the defensive because she is scared."
"I can see that. You clearly have dealing with her evasive tactics down to a science, so to speak. But I don't think that she was at all surprised or bothered by the fact that you are so well aware of all her quirks and foibles," he said.
"Phil, remember that we've been living together although not 'living together' for almost two years now. However the last seven months have radically changed her. She's lost her spark and spirit. I think that the recent revelation by her sister was the straw that broke the camel's back. She just seems to be overwhelmed now. Other people have noticed too, which is why I was actually finally able to bring her in here," he replied.
"How is her sister?" asked Phil curiously.
"Better than Phoebe, but it's hard to tell. She has, shall we say, the same 'gifts' as Phoebe does. However, because she's young, she's not always in full control of herself. She's very impulsive and likes to make mischief. She does have what I believe is the resiliency of youth going for her. If you see her playing with kids her own age, she seems like a completely normal, happy eleven year old. She has enormous talent playing piano and in music in general, almost too talented for her age according to the high school band director. She is very smart, well-schooled in the humanities for a young person of her age. But . . ." Hal faltered.
"I had a feeling a but was coming," said Phil.
"Ironically, since the incident with the aunts, her moods have stabilized. I think that some of the irrational behavior came from her fear of the unicorn. But she also will occasionally make these kind of prophetic statements. She has incredible insight and she has a powerful connection with Phoebe. In fact, she can read Phoebe better than vice versa. And she is very worried about Phoebe," added Hal.
"Interesting. You mentioned the unicorn when you told me about her childhood trauma. What does she say about him?"
"She says that he's dead, that I killed him," said Hal with a smile.
"I suppose that's because you smashed the necklace," he replied thoughtfully.
"You see Cholmendeley has the same kind of 'powers' as Phoebe and Trelawney. The aunts believed that the necklace had a powerful significance to it, one that only Cholmondeley and Trelawney understood. I suspect that it might have been a psychic connection, not just a symbolic one. But I don't understand enough about it to make sense of it," he sighed.
"But Phoebe doesn't believe that the unicorn is dead or she wouldn't be so spooked every time a reporter comes near," said Phil, trying to get a grasp on the facts, even if he couldn't make sense of them.
"Yes. Trelawney says that she dreams about the unicorn. However, when she, Phoebe that is, talks about her dreams, she never mentions him. By the way, Trelawney approves of the counseling," said Hal.
"How interesting," said Phil ironically. "For her sister, but not for herself."
"Pretty much," said Hal. "If you think that Phoebe was bad the other day, I don't even want to think about what her sister would say if we managed to get her in here. I suspect that she would derive a great deal of pleasure out of manipulating you."
"Hmm. What else does she say about her sister?"
"She says that she can't help her, but I can. I am the gallant knight. She's a very whimsical child. I swear she knows more myths and fairy stories than Bruno Bettelheim himself and I don't doubt that she understands them better than he does. She also says that Phoebe and I are together and can't be broken apart, that's why she has given up her matchmaking. But Phoebe knows that too.
"In fact, the whole Figalilly family knows it. They have decided that it is our destiny to marry and, I suspect, have children. And thus, they have given us their blessing. These people seem be mystics of a sort, and they place a great deal of importance on fate and destiny. And Trelawney seems to be a kind of 'mystic prodigy,' even among her own people. It's part of the reason that they may take her away," replied Hal.
Phil was amazed at how seriously Hal took it all. Perhaps living with it meant that he just took it for granted, and had accepted the fact that that was how the sisters were. And his children were unbothered by it. Seeing his silence, Hal said,
"Trelawney told me that I don't necessarily need to completely understand it to help her."
"Okay, so then rather than banging our heads against a wall trying to figure it out, let's just take it as a given and proceed from there. Why don't we review those behaviors that we see as being harmful to her state of mind and come up with a strategy for addressing them?"
"Sounds like as a good a plan as any. By the way, one way to circumvent the mind reading is to be careful what you think about when you're with her. We'll both be better off if you can put this meeting out of your head when we come in for our session later," advised Hal.
"Sounds reasonable. Now let's get talking," said Phil.
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When Hal and Phoebe entered Dr. Meyers' office later that day, he met them at the door and apologized to Phoebe.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I should have been more respectful of your opinion of the place of drug therapy in the counseling process. Drugs, especially one like Valium, don't cure anything. They just treat symptoms. It's just that once I heard that you were using liquor to treat a symptom, I wanted to get control of the situation. The most immediate answer that came to mind was a pill, prescribed by me. Then, I would at least have a modicum of control over its use."
"Thank you for appreciating my view of things, Dr. Meyers," answered Phoebe. "I apologize for my own behavior. I am afraid that I lost my temper and I may have been quite rude."
"I don't know if rude is the right word for it," replied Dr. Meyers. There was silence. "I am guessing that you don't want to talk about it."
"No," she said firmly.
Dr. Meyers looked at Hal, who shrugged.
"Don't ask me either," he said. "This is something about Phoebe that I won't discuss. It is her right to maintain her privacy and I will not violate the trust we share."
"Well," said Dr. Meyers, "I would not invade your privacy or ask that you violate trust. However, I am now very curious. I will do my best to keep my curiosity in check, but please don't be offended if you think that I am prying somewhere that I don't belong."
"Perhaps we should establish some boundaries," said Phoebe.
"I would prefer not to do that. You may reach a point where we need to cross a boundary or you may reach a new level of trust with me. I will be happy to continue as we have as long as you promise not to lose your temper with me and shut me down again. I'm not one of your young charges to be put in his place," he said.
"Fair enough," she agreed.
"How are things going at home for you two?" he asked.
This time it was Phoebe who gave a rundown of all the occurrences of the last forty-eight hours. When she was done, Dr. Meyers said, "You didn't answer my question."
"I beg your pardon?"
"I said, you didn't answer my question," replied Dr. Meyers. "Now you have told me all about the progress on the house, how the Flemings are managing, and how each of the kids is doing, but when I ask how things are going at home, what I want to know is how things are going with you two, individually and as a couple."
"Oh, then I guess I'm doing it again," she said.
"Doing what?"
"You're going to make me say it, aren't you?" she replied, with a trace of annoyance. "I'm so busy solving everyone else's problems and worrying about everyone else, that I am ignoring my own issues."
"Very good," said Dr. Meyers. "Now I know that you don't like it when I force you to say things that you would rather imply, but actually saying the words out loud is a form of self-honesty that is important to your recovery."
"In what way?"
"Phoebe, you are one of the most skillfully evasive people that I have ever met. In fact, I noticed that you still have not answered my question about how you and Hal were doing. That was a pretty neat trick, trying to get me off the topic by admitting to something that has not even come up in the conversation yet. But it's one thing to play head games with other people and another to play them with yourself," he explained.
"I do not play head games with anyone!" she replied outraged.
"Oh, really?" asked Hal.
"I don't play head games with you!" she declared.
"And what do you call it when I ask for a simple, straightforward answer to a question, and after ten minutes, I have to walk away satisfied with a quotation from Aunt Tilly or whoever?" he asked.
She opened her mouth to reply and then shut it. Hal was looking very candidly into her eyes. She dropped her own into her lap. However, he refused to give up. He picked up her right hand and kissed it. Still holding it, he very softly said, "Look at me."
She lifted her eyes and met his gaze. His dark blue eyes were intensely, yet lovingly, focused on hers. She knew that he wanted honesty, but not just honesty between them. He wanted her to be honest with herself, own up to her own actions and own them.
He was reaching out to her on level that no other person had ever reached. She knew that more than anything he wanted her trust, and that in order for her to trust him, she would have to acknowledge her most effective defense strategy. She swallowed hard. He picked up her other hand and brought both of them to his mouth and kissed them. As he held her small hands in his own large ones, she could feel his strength flowing into her. She swallowed hard again and held his gaze, determined to work up the courage to speak the words aloud. The expression in his eyes changed as he realized this and a faint smile quivered on his lips.
"I use evasive language and word play to avoid talking about things that I find uncomfortable and telling the truth, to others and myself."
He dropped her hands and heaved a sigh of relief. "Phoebe, why don't we tell Phil about the lesson in creative destruction that you had the yesterday?"
She nodded. It was as good a place to start as any.
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After the session, Phoebe went over to the nursing home to pick up Prudence. While she was there, she wanted to spend some time with Mrs. Kaufman. Today's session had not nearly been as taxing as Monday's, once they got past the evasive language issue. But she was tired and she had found that Mrs. Kaufman was one of the few people with whom she could truly relax. And she was still miffed at Hal for saying that she played head games with him.
Mrs. Kaufman took one look at her and reached out her hands.
"Come here, honey," she said gently. "You know that I'm always here to listen."
"I know," replied Nanny. "That's why I'm here."
She looked around and Mrs. Kaufman added, "Lottie and Rosemary are out visiting the site. After all the excitement last week, they were going stir-crazy, so Pastor Mark came over and got them."
"Didn't you want to go?" asked Nanny.
"Not really," she answered. "And I just had a feeling that I was needed here. I'm worried about you, honey. You're looking even worse than before. I have never seen you so on edge as you were on Sunday at that meeting. And I could see that it wasn't just because you were worn out from the night before. You've definitely got something on your mind that's worrying you to pieces. Now I don't mean to pry, but I am a good listener you know.
"It's all too much," Nanny admitted. "There have been too many things that have turned my life upside down in the past seven months. There are times when I just want to curl up in my bed, go to sleep, and push the world away."
"Even the Professor?" she asked, feeling a little surprised.
"Yes. Do you know that he actually accused me of playing head games with him?"
Mrs. Kaufman gave her an amused smile.
"Not you too!"
"Nanny, you know that you love to tease him. In fact, he's so scientific and literal minded that you drive him crazy sometimes. Of course that's part of the mutual attraction," she said. "You both enjoying playing these word games with each other, mostly, I think, because you are able to communicate so well non-verbally. Face facts, honey, it is a game for both of you. And if you're honest with yourself you will admit that you both enjoy it. I think that you might be a little hyper-sensitive right now."
Nanny could feel her sense of outrage building, but then she looked at Mrs. Kaufman who was steadily holding her gaze. She was looking at her calmly and honestly, but was not even trying to disguise the concern in her eyes. Once again she could feel the tears welling up.
"Let it go, honey," she said soothingly, using the same words that Hal had often used with her. "You can't fool me. I don't even think that you can fool yourself anymore."
Nanny suddenly felt as if she was incapable of answering. All of the usual denials and justifications were crumbling in the face of Mrs. Kaufman's honesty. The older woman, who had seen so much in her life, was offering her the opportunity to lay down her cares for a while. Perhaps it was time to lay down her burden and rest.
"I feel so tired and discouraged. I've lost my parents, I've come close to losing my sister, I was terrified that I was going to lose Hal when my fiancé from birth came to claim me. But now Trelawney is safe with me and I am secure in Hal's love. However, Cholmondeley is still out there and I don't know where he is. Suppose he comes back for her?" her voice had begun to rise in pitch and volume.
Some of the other people in the room looked over at them. Mrs. Kaufman patted her knee and asked softly, "Who is Cholmondeley and why is he such a threat to your sister?"
Nanny stared ahead. She had not meant to share that, even with someone as supportive as Mrs. Kaufman. But now it was out there. She knew that Mrs. Kaufman, kindly as she was, would not let it rest until she told her. She sighed deeply and looked back at her. Her look was encouraging.
"Cholmondeley is my ex-fiancé. My parents betrothed me to him on the day I was born, to bring our families closer together. I knew that one year he would show up. A few months after my parents . . . left us, he came to fulfill the contract, with the idea that he would take us home and we would settle down together and raise Trelawney. But she wouldn't go near him and behaved completely irrationally. She instigated our break up, and essentially forced Hal and I to face up to our feelings for one another.
"Things seemed better, but then when my aunties came to visit, the truth came out. A few years ago he . . . damaged her. She is convinced that he is gone forever. But I can't let go of it. That's why I am so afraid of any publicity. I am afraid that if he sees her picture or reads about her, he will become interested in her again."
She slumped in her chair, exhausted from the effort. Mrs. Kaufman reached out and Nanny knelt beside her and allowed herself to be held. She could feel her stroking her hair and whispering, "There. There." It was comforting. It was almost as if she was back home with her mother. Her heart ached in sadness.
"Does Trelawney know how afraid you are?" she finally asked.
"I suppose that she does. We never talk about it. She has placed all of her confidence in Hal. He is her knight in shining armor," she answered.
"He's yours as well," said Mrs. Kaufman with a smile. "It would seem that she has greater faith in him than you do."
"She also has a lot less understanding of the world and its potential dangers. Until she moved here, she led a very sheltered life. She has been very good about staying low key and not seeking attention. But that's more for my sake than because she really feels threatened."
"Would you really feel better if she was walking around scared all the time, constantly looking for danger in every shadow? She's a light-hearted child, even if she can be a little odd at times. She reminds me very much of yourself not so long ago, cheerful, optimistic, always looking for the best in everyone," said Mrs. Kaufman. "You are not going to think that this is a fair question, but would you prefer that she be like the Nanny who took on City Hall to save a tree or the one sitting in front of me now?"
"Of course I want her to be happy," she answered.
"Good, then you are going to need to do something to help yourself. Sooner or later your moods will impact her. Do you honestly think that she likes seeing you this way?"
"No," answered Nanny reluctantly.
"Okay, so then, what's your plan for helping yourself?" asked Mrs. Kaufman.
"Hal has been taking me to see a counselor. He says that he's there for himself too, but somehow I always end up being the main topic in any discussion," she said.
Mrs. Kaufman shook her head gently. "Oh, Nanny," she said gently. "He IS there for himself. He's worried about you. He wants you to be happy. I've watched him lately when he looks at you. He is very concerned. You clearly don't see this, but he loves you very much. So much so, in fact, that he is obviously in pain when you are."
"I know that," said Nanny defensively.
"Do you, Nanny? No, do you, Phoebe? Your relationship with each other goes far deeper than the Nanny and the Professor titles that you still address each other by, I'm assuming just in public," said Mrs. Kaufman. "I am going to ask you a very hard question, but you don't have to answer it now. Will you let me?"
Nanny nodded wearily and sat back in her chair. She was tired of people asking her questions. She just wanted to take Prudence and go home. Yet for all the support that Mrs. Kaufman was giving her, she felt that simple courtesy demanded that she hear her out.
"Do you really want to continue to be the cause of all this heartache for him? He loves you with a single-minded devotion that is rare in men these days. Do you love him enough to face down your fears, become his wife, and then the mother of his children?" she inquired.
Nanny looked down at her hands and as always noticed the empty finger on her left hand. Their unspoken agreement had put that hand on reserve for him. One day she would wear his rings on it. Mrs. Kaufman noticed her touching her left hand, as if she was looking for those rings, and nodded.
"Yes, Phoebe," she assured her. "Your hand is promised to him as surely as his heart is promised to you. But you cannot promise him your own heart until you unchain it from the fears and sorrows that weigh it down."
Nanny swallowed hard. Since she would be seeing Prudence soon, she didn't want the child to know she had been crying.
"There are of course some sorrows that you will always bear, such as the loss of your parents. These are the sorrows that he will help you bear, just as you will help him bear his own sadness in time," she finished. "And I didn't read these words of wisdom in a psychology book. I lived them, and I know in my heart that you will live them too."
Nanny could feel herself calming down in the comfort of Mrs. Kaufman's warm smile and soothing voice. She looked back at the careworn face and faded blue eyes.
"Thank you, Mrs. Kaufman. I will try."
"That's my good girl," answered Mrs. Kaufman, patting her cheek and giving her a kiss. "Now you go find that little Prudence. I believe that you have a family to make supper for."
As Nanny drove home she was silent, lost in her thoughts as she ruminated over her day, the morning with Joni and the kids, the early afternoon with Hal and Dr. Meyers, and finally her last conversation with Mrs. Kaufman. Forcing herself to smile, she began to feel hope again.
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On Thursday morning, when Phoebe dropped the kids off at the worksite, she could see the progress. The last of the debris had been cleared out of the yard. The house had one coat of primer on it and someone had started to work on the windows. There wasn't much progress to be seen on the porch or the attic, but Hal assured her that they had done a lot yesterday.
"Mr. Just Jim says that he can't believe all the junk that was piled up under it. Until it's all cleared out there's not much that can be done. Then they'll have to dig out holes for the posts with posthole diggers and the ground is very hard because it's been so hot and dry. If they don't sink the posts far enough down then the porch won't be stable. A few beams went up into that attic to shore up the roof, but it takes a long time to fit them in just right. They're starting to put up the framework for the fence," he explained.
"Everything takes a while to get going," added Trelawney. "Mr. Just Jim and the other men are real sticklers on safety. And they're very demanding about the quality. Some of the kids were complaining until Mr. Just Jim pointed out that if the building inspector found some of their work not up to specs, then they would have to redo it. It only makes sense to do it right the first time."
"Quite right," said Nanny, who had given her own word about the quality of the work. Once the older three had been dropped off, she and Prudence drove over to the rectory at St. Pete's. Fr. Bob's housekeeper, Mrs. Korsu, met her at the door.
"Am I ever glad to see you, Nanny," she said. "I don't know how Joni manages those children all by herself. They are a handful."
"Don't worry," Nanny soothingly. "I'll help Joni get organized and we will take them out to see their father. That will give you a chance to have some peace and quiet."
"Thank you," replied Mrs. Korsu gratefully. "Fr. Bob by himself is very easy to manage. But this is a large building and it needs to stay clean."
Looking around, Nanny agreed with the size of the house, however it looked immaculate. She suspected that it was the noise and activity rather than the mess that was getting to the woman. She made a mental note to speak with Pastor Paul about finding more activities to get the family out for the day in the future. For all intents and purposes, they would probably be out for good by next Friday. But it would benefit no one, if Mrs. Korsu had to spend the entire week feeling miserable.
Prudence had run off to find Molly and now Nanny followed her upstairs to where the bedrooms were. There she found Joni struggling to get the twins dressed for their visit with their father. Expertly grabbing Chris, the larger of the two boys, she immediately began to pull on his overalls. That left Joni with two hands, so that she could haul Jack into his. Standing side by side, they lay the boys back on the bed and firmly tied on their sneakers. Once freed the two little towheads ran off to find the others.
"Woo!" said Joni. "The older they get, the harder it is to rustle them both into their clothes. They never stop moving."
"Have you ever tried dressing them one at a time?" asked Nanny.
"Only every day. But whatever one is doing, the other wants to do right away," answered Joni.
"Well twins are always a handful," agreed Nanny. "It's been a while since I've cared for any myself."
"I guess that if you'll be caring for any more in the future, they'll be your own?" asked Joni with a smile.
"Yes, I suppose so," she replied with a soft smile. "But twins don't run in either of our families, so I don't think that I have to worry about that."
Joni grimaced, "There's a first time for everything. The proof of that just ran out the door. I will admit though. It was nice on the fifth time around to get two for the price of one."
Nanny looked at her questioningly, "Did you plan to have six children?"
Joni laughed now. "Honey, nobody plans to have six children. With Eliot and me, before his last tour anyway, we just kind of figured that we would take what God gave us. Six was His, God's that is, idea I guess. Folks sometimes ask me why we weren't more careful, but if we had been more careful, who would have got left out?"
Nanny smiled, thinking of how she and the Professor had never discussed how many children they might want after, or come to think of it before, the little sister that Prudence was expecting. Joni seemed to have read her thoughts. Pointing out the window she said, "Look, Fr. Bob is out there entertaining the kids. Why don't you and I take a minute to talk about things?"
"What do you want to talk about?" asked Nanny, watching as the boyish looking young man below was taking turns swinging the seven kids up in the air. She could hear the squeals of delight from below.
"I think it's you that wants to talk," said Joni.
Nanny turned to look at her and saw that she had the same kind of mischievous grin that Trelawney often got when she was amused by something.
"Me?"
"Nanny, you are pretty funny sometimes. You are so expert at taking care of other people's children and handing out all sorts of advice. But honey, something tells me that you're the one who's going to need some advice when it comes to making kids for yourself," she said now with a devilish glint in her eye.
Nanny blanched, and then sat down. Joni could see that she was clearly mortified that she had stated the obvious so she went over and sat beside her. Putting her arm around her she said, "There's no shame in being a virgin at your age. In fact, it's something to be admired. I just hope the Professor appreciates what you've been saving for him."
"Joni, please . . ."
"Nanny, this is a conversation that you are going to need to have with some woman. It might as well be me. I sure owe you, don't I? Making babies means making love, and let's face it I'm real good at both. Try not to be too embarrassed, but I think that you'll be good at it too, once you get started. Eliot and I never decided that we wanted to have six kids, but that's because we never really thought about how many we wanted. With him so sick now, there won't be any more for a while, if ever," she explained.
"I'm sorry," said Nanny.
"I'm not," said Joni. "I'm pretty much done, if you know what I mean. But you're just beginning. Just remember that once you get started it's easy to let things get away from you. You already have your hands full with four, more of your own will be, well, more."
"I suppose that you're right," she said.
Joni, usually so down to earth, became a little misty-eyed. "I will say that I loved being pregnant, after the first couple months anyway. There's nothing like feeling the baby move for the first. Then you walk around all day and you can feel this little person alive and growing inside. As they get bigger, you can even see, as well as feel, them moving around inside, from the outside. Oh, by the end, you're ready to pop them out. I have to admit that when I got to hospital the last time I just told them to hold the anesthetic and get those kids out. They come faster if you're not drugged up."
Nanny started to feel that yearning once again inside. "You make it sound so beautiful."
"Oh, it is," said Joni. "First one was the hardest. But when I was pregnant with Sue, my body just kind of said, 'Whoa! I remember this!' I suppose that's why we ended up with six. I enjoyed it so much."
"I guess that's what I'm looking forward. But I suppose you are right about not becoming overwhelmed."
"I am," she said. "Now listen to me here, baby. Before you get there, you got to start making them, if you know what I mean. The first time it happens, try not to be scared. If you're scared it will hurt more. Don't be embarrassed. It hurts every woman the first time, even if the man knows he's the first. And that's something that a man does know. The Professor, well, I think that he's going to try to be gentle, but you have to realize this. He's older than you, he's got a lot of experience and I have no doubt that he's been holding back for a while now. If he hits you hard the first time, try not to let him know how bad it was. It'll get easier, I promise."
Nanny, still a bit stunned by the young woman's blunt advice, just nodded.
"And once you get used it, well, that's when you just want it more," she said with a knowing look. "You're lucky that your man has got all that experience. He'll know how to really get you going. An experienced lover will do that. Most of them get as much pleasure out of watching you come, as they do when they lose it themselves."
Nanny's jaw dropped, in her extremely sheltered existence, she had never heard anyone talk about orgasm, male or female, out loud. And she had certainly never thought about it. She recalled the Professor's allusion to the "very pleasurable creative experiences he had in mind for her." She now realized that this was what he meant. She turned a shade pinker at the thought.
"My poor innocent girl," said Joni in amusement. "You've got a lot to learn. Don't worry, I'm sure the Professor will teach you good."
"I'm sure he will," said Nanny quietly.
Joni nodded. "I'm sure he will. He's a good man and he knows a good woman when he sees one. I'm surprised that he hasn't taken you by now. I don't know too many men that could hold back like that. And don't try to tell me that all those kids in the house are keeping him honest. If you two really wanted it, you'd figure out a way."
"I do really want it. But he holds himself back because he says that he loves me so much, " she sighed. "He doesn't think that I'm ready."
"Then you're not," said Joni firmly. "A man like him, he would know. This is love, sweetie. This is the most powerful kind of love that I've ever seen."
Suddenly, Nanny wanted to tell her everything.
"He wants to wait until we're married. He says that once we . . . start, I'll have a baby pretty quickly. He is afraid that I'm not strong enough, that it will be too hard for me," she admitted.
Joni held her closer. The woman beside her was probably her own age, but she seemed much younger. Sitting on that bed with her, for once not trying to take charge and boss everyone around, she even seemed fragile. But this discussion was getting a little too heavy, even for her.
"Well," she said, picking up her humorous tone from before. "At least we know that there's no 'Wham! Bam! Thank you ma'am!' where he's concerned."
Nanny's mouth flew open again. Was there no end to the outrageous things that this woman had to say about sex? But Joni got serious again.
"One more thing, the babies might only come after it gets easier. So go easy on yourself in the beginning, try not to be impatient. Too much stress or tension? Well, that seems to block the process, if you understand me. I can see by the look on your face that you do. You have to really relax and enjoy it. That's probably why there are so many accidents. The women who are out there just for the pleasure of it are the ones who get the babies, whether they want them or not. The women wishing too hard, well, it seems to take them longer," she finished. "Okay, I'm through embarrassing you."
When Nanny failed to respond, she said gently, "I know it's shocking to hear this kind of stuff said out loud, but it's the kind of thing that nobody's mama ever tells her. Some of us find out through experience. But knowing you, I figured you might need a head's up, being that you're always so nervous about everything. You'll be fine. The Professor takes real good care of you. He's one in great guy."
"I know," said Nanny softly, remembering what Lois had said the other night. At least she hadn't tried to give her a lesson in human sexuality. However, Joni and Lois both shared a trait she admired. They were both going through difficult times had managed to remain in a stable emotional state, even cheerful. She wondered how hard it had been for them when the first assault of misfortune hit them. Whatever the aftermath, it seemed that both had accepted it and were rebuilding their lives. She realized that it was not impossible for her to begin this kind of personal reconstruction herself. It seemed that she had already been through the teardown.
Looking out the window again, Joni commented, "Too bad about Fr. Bob."
"Too bad?" Nanny was still puzzling over the lesson in the female sexual experience that she had just gotten.
"Well, yeah! Catholic priests can't get married. He'd make a great Dad for a bunch of kids. He's the oldest of nine, himself, that's why he's so good with my kids. He's got lots of nieces and nephews," explained Joni.
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Chapter 2: Progress and Pitfalls
Things at the worksite had hummed along well through Thursday. The porch area had finally been cleared out and the postholes dug. They would be able to set in the posts first thing tomorrow and then start to build up the next day. The fence was nearly built around the yard, and most of the window repair work was done. The least amount of progress seemed to be up on the roof, however the attic needed much more shoring up than they had originally thought.
"Do you think we'll be able to complete it on time?" asked Pastor Jason anxiously. He knew that if they didn't finish up all the cosmetic work in a week it wouldn't be a big deal, but the roof was an A-1 priority.
"Well," said Jim. "She'll be done. The outside work, meaning the shingling, will go pretty quick, as long as the kids work real precise. It's the weather that's got me nervous."
"The weather was the one thing that I wasn't worried about," replied the pastor. "It looks like it will be clear and dry through the end of next week."
"And hot," said Jim. "If temperatures go up into the high 90s like they're predicting, do you know how hot it's going to be working up on that black pitch up on the roof?"
Pastor Jason's face fell. "I know how hot it was up there today. I spent about an hour up there with the boys. And it was only in the low 80s."
"Good! Do the math son and you'll realize that if we're not careful, we'll have those boys up there, passing out left, right, and in between," said Jim.
"So what will we do?" asked Pastor Jason.
"Well, I'm not going to explain it twice, so get all those kids to knock off for the day so that we can have a meeting."
When the group was assembled, Jim and the other site coaches Bill, Ted, and Donny, spoke to them.
Jim started off, "Now that we're started off, we've made some real progress that even you kids can see. But we have a big challenge coming up next week in terms of the weather. You've probably been too busy to notice but we're in for a heat wave towards the end of next week. That means that we're going to need to adjust our plans a bit so that we can get the work done on time."
"The painting is coming along real well kids," said Bill. "Once that fence is built, we'll prime it and paint it, no problem. I was going to wait on painting the house walls until all the windows were in, but I want to get as much of the outside painting done as quickly as possible. It may be hot inside the house, but we can run fans and at least we won't be out in the sun."
"There's still a bit to do on the porch. We'll move the power tools into the shade and try to most of the building in the early morning before the sun hits. Even if we can't get it painted before Friday, the important thing is the structure. Painting it is only a half day's work anyway," said Ted next. "Carpentry work is going well. For some of the outside projects, we'll just do what you'll be doing with the porch and time them so we do them when they're in the shade.
"Well that leaves the roof," said Donny. "There'll be nothing for it but to work short shifts once the heat rises. We'll create a rotation of crews so that no one is up for more than twenty minutes at a time. And we're going to need lots of water. Another thing I want to say is that you boys up there have got to keep your shirts on. If I have to tell you one more time, I'm going have to start breaking heads."
"Oh, man, Donny," complained one kid. "Do you know how hot it gets up there?"
"Do you know how hot you're going to be if you get a sunburn? Or if we have to call an ambulance 'cause you have heat stroke?" he retorted.
"This is not a game," said Jim. "This is dead serious. We don't sit around at night thinking up rules to drive you nuts. We're going to keep you kids safe, in spite of yourselves."
"Hear! Hear!" called a voice from behind. All the kids turned to see Mr. Tucker standing behind them with the other parents.
"Young man," said Mr. Tucker. "If you don't show respect to these gentlemen and listen to their years of experience, I can guarantee you that your parents will pull you off this worksite. Your safety is always your first concern."
"I haven't heard one thing that is unreasonable come out of the mouths of any of these men," stated Professor Everett. "As a parent of three of you kids out here, I can only speak for myself when I say that I'm glad to hear that your coaches are planning ahead for the weather next week."
"I agree," said Mrs. Lenihan. "In fact I would like to have a round of applause for these fine men."
The kids all stood up and clapped and cheered. When they were quiet again, Kevin Smith spoke up, "I'm sorry that we complained. We know that you don't have to come out here every day to help us. I guess that sometimes we just get so bogged down in what we're doing that we lose sight of the big picture."
Professor Everett chuckled to himself, they're not the only ones. As the kids were climbing into the car, Trelawney tossed her head and said, "You are quite definitely NOT my parent."
"Tell that to immigration," he said with a smile.
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On the way back from the worksite, Professor Everett stopped at the nursing home to drop off Jim and make sure that Phoebe and Prudence were on their way home. They had spent the entire day there with Joni and the kids. Before they left, Phoebe had wanted stayed to spend some time with Mrs. Kaufman, Aunt Lottie, and Mrs. Darmstadt. Since Joni had been spending so much time at the home, she had grown to enjoy their company as well. Unfortunately, the combination of people at the nursing home made for a perfect storm, when Harvey Sloan decided to show up.
The rec room was crowded with the six Fleming kids and the three Everetts running around. Mr. Just Jim, Aunt Lottie, and Mrs. Darmstadt were all trying to talk over one another to tell Nanny, Joni, Mrs. Kaufman, and the Professor all about how the worksite was going. Trelawney was over in the corner playing Pachebel's Canon for Eliot, while Francine sat beside her on the piano bench. She had discovered that Eliot enjoyed her playing. It soothed him as well as her after a long day on the worksite. The Canon was a favorite and he had asked for it as soon as he saw her come in. While he loved his children very much, they were very hard on his nerves. His stay in the nursing home had been a blessed relief.
But of course they weren't the only ones in the rec room. When word got out that Trelawney was playing a number of the other residents had come out to listen. One of them, an old codger named Mr. MacKenzie, was annoyed by the noise that the children were making and yelled at them to shut up and listen to the music. Not surprisingly they settled down. The youngest kids decided to dance to the music. With the external din silenced, the other adults were able to hold a conversation at a normal volume level.
However, no sooner was peace restored, when, another kind of disruption began.
Suddenly, the Professor stood up and growled, "What the hell is he doing here?"
The others looked up at the door, although those listening to the music on the other far side of the room were oblivious.
Joni and Nanny, who seated next to each other, grabbed hold, each fearful for their own loved ones who were two of his primary targets. Jim stood up as well and intercepted Sloan who had made a beeline for the piano area.
"So, Mr. Sloan, what brings you here to Montclaire? Going to do a story on us old folks?" he said genially.
Not to be deterred, Sloan replied, "I'm actually more interested in the gifted young pianist and the young veteran back there. Could you step aside so I could get through?"
"Well, I don't know where you got permission to come in here, but those two, and their families, want their privacy," said Jim loudly, hoping that MacKenzie would hear.
"I called ahead and got permission from the director to do a story on the veteran," replied Sloan.
"Well," said Jim. "This is the veteran you'll have to settle for."
"I can't believe the nerve of you!" interrupted Aunt Lottie. "This is private property for a reason. Back in the old neighborhood, people had more respect for other people's privacy."
Seeing that Jim, Mrs. Darmstadt, and Aunt Lottie were going to run interference for a while, Mrs. Kaufman told Nanny and Joni to follow her. By now Trelawney had realized that something was happening. She could see her sister and Joni approaching. Joni looked upset, but Phoebe was absolutely terrified. Remembering last Saturday night, Hal stood up and hustled Trelawney over to a side door, while the Professor who had bolted back the minute that he saw Sloan, gently led Eliot in the same direction.
In less than a minute, both were out the door and down the hall. Eliot was perplexed, but not upset. He was disappointed that Trelawney has stopped playing, but when Joni reached him, she told him that it had been a long day for both of them. Trelawney would be back when she was rested. The young lady herself allowed her sister to wrap her in a tight embrace. The Professor went over and hugged them both.
"Jim, Mrs. Darmstadt, and Aunt Lottie will keep Sloan busy until we get out of here," he said. " If you're too shaken up to drive, we'll leave Arabella here and get her later when the coast is clear. I'll bring the car around back."
Nanny was unable to answer, but nodded silently. Mrs. Kaufman stood by her side and inclined her head to the Professor. He told the kids to stay put. He was afraid that if Sloan saw the mob then he would figure out the plan.
On the way home, Trelawney sat next to Phoebe in the front seat, patting her knee. She said, "See, Phoebe, all is well. Our gallant knight has saved us again."
But Phoebe just hugged her tighter.
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When they finally returned home, the kids all made themselves scarce. They could see that the near run in with Harvey Sloan had greatly disturbed Nanny. By now, even they knew that when she was this upset, the Professor was the only one who could restore her equilibrium.
Alone in the living room he held her tight and whispered, "Let go. Nothing happened. I promised you that we'd keep her safe and we did. Just think of how excited he was to capture a glimpse of the virtuoso herself and then get stuck with Jim, Aunt Lottie, and Mrs. Darmstadt chatting him up. Looking back it's pretty funny really."
Phoebe looked up and could see that he really did think that it was funny. Come to think of it, as she herself looked back, the poor man did look very frustrated when he found himself surrounded by the three older folks. They were talking up a storm about the needs of veterans and the community values of the old neighborhood. She gave him a tentative smile.
His response was to look at her with longing and then give her, a long, deep kiss. Feeling better, she broke away and said, "I had better start dinner."
Hal rolled his eyes and said in mock annoyance, "How come everyone else's needs always come first?"
She returned his frustration with an alluring look.
"Haven't you figured out yet that I like to save the best for last?"
Tonight it was his turn to tingle in anticipation. He knew that once the kids were all in bed, he would have her all to himself. Seeing his reaction, she stepped forward and putting her arms around his neck, kissed him and pressed her body closely into his. She felt his desire in his response and read it in his mind. Recalling Joni's vivid description of intimate male-female relations, she longed to experience them for herself.
She thought about the man in whose arms she now rested. His love and kindness were always in the forefront of his relationship with her. If everything that Joni had told her was correct, and she had no doubt that it was, it meant that he was holding himself in reserve for more than a work project.
He was not only older and more experienced than she. He was extremely attractive. She had no doubt whatsoever that if he decided that he wanted to satisfy his physical needs, he would not have to look far to find a willing partner. For the first time she realized that he was denying himself some of the physical pleasures of the flesh, not only by his protective behavior with her, but by his fidelity to her.
She looked up at him with her question in her deep blue eyes band asked, "Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why won't you make love to me?" For a minute she had forgotten that he couldn't read her mind as well as she could read his.
Hal sensed her question with that male sixth sense that knows when a woman is puzzled about the physical relations between men and women. And he knew that there was more to her question than simply why he was suppressing his desire for her. Never dropping her gaze, he said,
"When you love another, as much as I love you, subordinating physical desires for the benefit of the other is not difficult. Fidelity is no sacrifice. I would find no pleasure in betraying your trust in me for a few moments of physical gratification. In fact, I sincerely doubt that there would be any gratification involved at all. I will not deny that I have physical desires, but only YOU, Phoebe can possibly satisfy them. However, this is not just about me. It is about you too.
"I will teach you, all you need to know, in time, about making love. I will show you pleasure that you cannot imagine, with all the tenderness and care that you deserve. If I can wait, then you can wait. I promise that it will be worth the wait, for it will mean more if we wait."
He knew that she wanted to give herself up completely to him. He could see that his words, more than any physical stimulation on his part, were arousing her. Just as for him, their lovemaking would be more than a physical release. But she wasn't ready.
She would have to wait for another time. For the moment, all of his mind and thoughts were fixed on making her strong and well again. The work was begun, but was as yet unfinished. Tenderly he kissed her and then as she headed off to the kitchen to make dinner, he went upstairs for a cold shower. Things were getting a little too hot, and he needed to cool off.
The End
In the next story, "Rehabilitation" things continue to move forward on the work site, although slowly. Meanwhile, the Professor sets to work on his own personal rehabilitation project, and is finally rewarded with some progress.