A/N: Well, my first SongFic… I wrote it to "Unfaithful" by Rhianna (NOBODY guessed that right?). Written in Hisagi's POV.
I wrote this to find my muse (he/she is in hiding, I do not know where), because I'm in the middle of a HUGE writer's block. (Sorry readers of Nobody Else, chapter 4 might take a while…..)
DISCLAIMER:I do not own Bleach, and I do not own Unfaithful (and no, I do not own Rhianna)
Warning: Shonen-ai, slash, BL whatever you like to call it...
Parings: HisagixKira, HisagixRenji, implied GinxKira
Unfaithful
Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
Cause it seems that wrong
Really loves my company
He lay in bed, caressing the hair of a sleeping Kira Izuru. Somehow that felt so right. Somehow that felt so wrong. He was tangled in his own net of lies, and all he wanted to do was turn back time… back to where it was just Kira and Hisagi, back to the time where life was so simple.
He's more than a man
And this is more than love
The reason that the sky is blue
It was weird how Izuru's blue eyes mad him so happy, they were like the sky on a clear spring day. Every time he looked into those eyes he felt happy.
The clouds are rolling in
Because I'm gone again
And to him I just can't be true
Every time he looked into those eyes he felt so guilty. Like all of the sudden clouds had started to cover the clear, warm sky. Oh, how much Hisagi wished that he could get oft of the life built on lies, but it was… just… impossible.
And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying
He had seen it in those eyes… something eating Izuru from the inside. He had seen it too many times. Hisagi could practically see the flashbacks from the time with the bastard Ichimaru.
I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Every time I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
He felt so disgusted with himself, cheating on his boyfriend with Renji, Kira's best friend. Especially when Momo had… No, he couldn't bear to think about it.
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer
He was so torn every time he saw that broken look in Kira's eyes. He was killing him, he knew it, he was torturing Kira until he would break again.
I feel it in the air
As I'm doing my hair
Preparing for another date
The room was thick with tension as he put a finishing hand through his hair and straightened out the choker. He kept avoiding Kira's looks, they made him feel filthy.
A kiss upon my cheek
As he reluctantly
Asks if I'm gonna be out late
I say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
When Kira gave up on trying to get eye-contact with him, he walked forwards, gave Hisagi a quick peck on the cheek and hesitantly asked if he should wait up for him. The answer he got was that he probably wouldn't be that long, but Kira shouldn't stay up. After all, he was just having a few drinks with Iba-fukutaicho and Kyoraku-taicho. Hisagi immediately regretted that lie.
Because we both know
Where I'm about to go
And we know it very well
Both of them knew that he was not going to drink with Iba and Kyoraku this time either. They both knew that he was going to drink, but with a man that used to be just another guy, but everything had turned into something more.
'Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying
As he closed the door behind him he once again felt so horrible. The guilt once again rising in his gut, he saw that judging look Kira had given him every time he closed his eyes, those piercing blue eyes seeing everything.
I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Every time I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer
But the piercing look was dying. It used to be so powerful, but it had turned into no more than a just weak glance. He had given up.
Our love, his trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this
Anymore…
Anymore
As he walked slowly through Seretei towards 6th he felt his feet feeling heavier for every step he took. He thought of Kira. He thought of Renji. He thought of Ichimaru. He thought of himself, how much he hated Ichimaru, and how much worse he was. He would NEVER hurt Kira physically, like Ichimaru had done. He was worse. He hurt Kira psychically almost every day. A murderer
I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
And every time I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
And I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
Halfway to the 6th division he felt bile rising in his mouth. What he did was too wrong. He felt so sick, sick with himself and his actions. When he had emptied his stomach he turned back and walked steadily back home. He was met by a surprised Kira when he walked through the door.
"I'm sorry."
A/N: Well, If you people read SongFics the same way I usually do (skip the lyrics and just read the prose), I can understand that it didn't make any sense. As you probably noticed, I let the lyrics speak for themselves.
Hm. Still haven't found the muse -.-' *looks all over house*
PLEASE REVIEW! This is my first SongFic, and I REALLY want to know what you think. Even if you think this sucked, tell me, so that I can make my other stories/SongFics better! It doesn't take more than a maximum of like 3 minutes of your life! Can you spare that for me? Please? *puppy eyes*