Disclaimer: I wish I could take credit for creating Star Wars, but alas, I am not George Lucas, and I have no intention of getting sued.
Summary: As Qui-Gon, Anakin, and Bant protect the Republic from Darth Sidious, another Sith Lord emerges – Qui-Gon's presumably dead, former apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi. Can the Jedi save the Republic, or is it already too late? The third story in the Jedi Trials series.
Author's Notes: Finally the first chapter of Revenge and Regret is up! As this is the third story in my AU series, I would encourage you to read the first two stories before reading this one so you're not lost on the plot. However, if you'd like to read this story without reading the other two first, be my guest. I'll answer any questions you may have.
On another note, I'm so sorry it took so long; I lost all my notes for this story and had to rewrite them all. I hope you all enjoy this story as much as the last two! Without further ado, Jedi Trials III…
Revenge and Regret
By Kekelina
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Chapter One: One Night
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The room was calming, yet at the same time very painful. It harbored memories of a young man's Knighthood – memories that the older man knew nothing of. What had the young man's life been like? Had he thrown his boots in the middle of the floor every night, too tired to put them away properly? Had he sunk into the couch after a long, grueling mission and slept the fatigue away? Had the refrigeration unit been stocked full of food for the young man to eat, or had food been scarce and the unit unused?
Qui-Gon knew the answers to none of those questions, and the thought of not knowing his ex-Padawan pained him deeply.
Obi-Wan had been dead for months now. He had been given a Jedi's funeral, his possessions burned to represent his body. Qui-Gon had been unable to attend, for he had been the leader of the Separatist movement at that time, and he would always regret not coming to say a last goodbye to his former Padawan.
Though the two hadn't been close to each other for over ten years, Qui-Gon still thought of Obi-Wan as his son. Jedi were not to know attachment, but Qui-Gon had been attached to each and every one of his Padawans. The loss of Xanatos had been devastating, leaving Anakin to join the Separatists had been the hardest thing he had ever had to do, but losing Obi-Wan…it was heartbreaking. Obi-Wan had been his son, and the loss of his child tore his soul to shreds every time he thought about it.
Yet here Qui-Gon stood in Obi-Wan's quarters, remembering everything from their first meeting to the last words they exchanged before he died. Late evening light streamed in from the large transparisteel window, resting its warm rays on the large couch in the center of the room. Obi-Wan's couch…yet not his couch.
These were not Obi-Wan's quarters anymore. They had been cleared of all Obi-Wan's possessions and cleaned for the use of another Jedi Knight. Soon, another newly Knighted Padawan would move into the room and call it his or her home. The memory of Obi-Wan would fade from the room, replaced by the life, long or short, of the new Knight. The Knight would live within the walls of the room, probably never caring to wonder who had lived there before him or her. It was standard procedure, after all, to use the room of a deceased Jedi to house another. The Temple only had so many rooms. But the thought of Obi-Wan fading from the memory of the Jedi pained Qui-Gon, for he knew he would never forget his Padawan. The day that he forgot Obi-Wan would be the day that he crossed over to the dark side, and he assured himself that neither of those two events would happen.
"Master?"
A quiet voice broke through Qui-Gon's reverie, and for just a moment, he thought it was Obi-Wan. But it wasn't, the logical part of his brain reminded him, for Obi-Wan was dead. Dead. Gone. Not coming back. Qui-Gon choked back a sob. This was the first time he had properly grieved for Obi-Wan since learning of his death. It had been difficult to find time alone on Geonosis, and his first few days back at the Temple had been filled with disciplinary meetings with the Jedi Council and the struggles of settling back into the life of a Jedi Master.
"Master?" the quiet voice said again, this time more insistently.
Struggling and failing to keep up his famous mask of Jedi calm, Qui-Gon turned slowly and found Anakin standing in the doorway, a worried expression on his nineteen-year-old face.
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Anakin watched his former Master worriedly. He had been searching the Temple for hours for Qui-Gon before his Master had told him that he was in Knight Kenobi's old quarters. In all the excitement and chaos of the last few days, Anakin had forgotten that Qui-Gon hadn't known about the young Knight's death. Anakin's own Master, Bant Eerin, was finally moving on after the loss of her friend, but Qui-Gon's grief had just begun, and the loss of his former apprentice seemed to have hit him hard.
Anakin, during his years of being Qui-Gon's Padawan, had never seen Qui-Gon cry. Master Jinn was famous for hiding his emotions from everybody, including his own Padawans, and to see him now, tears streaming down his cheeks, was a bit awkward for Anakin. What was he to say to the tall Jedi who had been like his father and had always comforted him, not the other way around?
Qui-Gon continued to look at him silently, his eyes bloodshot and his cheeks wet. Perhaps Anakin shouldn't have interrupted him… This was obviously a very personal moment for the large Jedi, and it was none of his business to –
"No," Qui-Gon said suddenly, his voice cracking slightly.
A puzzled expression formed on Anakin's young face. "No what, Master?"
Qui-Gon blinked as though he was coming out of a trance. "You don't have to leave," he replied, seeming to have read Anakin's mind. "I – I was just finishing…" He trailed off, and then seemed to slip back into a trance as he stared at something past the room, perhaps a memory.
Anakin opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. Kenobi's death seemed to have devastated Qui-Gon. Had they really been that close? Kenobi had seemed so distant with Qui-Gon whenever Anakin had seen them together, but Qui-Gon still seemed to care about his ex-apprentice deeply. Had Anakin been blind to the fact that they had remained friends after Knight Kenobi's Knighting Ceremony?
"How did you find me," Qui-Gon suddenly asked him quietly.
"Master Bant said you'd asked her for the code to Knight Kenobi's room and that it would be a good idea to check here," Anakin replied.
Qui-Gon closed his eyes and sighed, but didn't say anything else. An awkward silence lingered between them for a few moments as Anakin stood there, unsure how to help his old Master.
A thought suddenly popped into his head. "Master," he began, "it's getting late and Master Bant said that you could join us for the evening meal in our quarters if you wished." He stood there hesitantly, hoping that Qui-Gon would accept the invitation that his Master didn't really make.
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After a moment or two of deliberating on the matter, Qui-Gon shook his head. "I think I'll eat in my quarters tonight, but thank Bant for the offer." Qui-Gon could see the disappointment on Anakin's face, but it didn't change his answer. He didn't feel like socializing at the moment, and while he knew that Anakin was only trying to help, the truth was that Qui-Gon just wanted to be alone tonight and grieve for his Padawan in silence.
Qui-Gon felt Anakin trying to comfort him through their bond as the boy nodded downheartedly. "Oh…okay," he replied quietly. "I'll see you tomorrow, Master." He left the room quietly and palmed the door shut behind him, leaving Qui-Gon alone in silence.
Qui-Gon sighed as he gazed around the darkening room. The sun had set, and twilight had appeared. Shadows stretched across the floors and walls, but Qui-Gon made no move to turn on the artificial lights. The darkness was comforting to him, and in a way, made him feel closer to Obi-Wan.
Had Obi-Wan sat on the couch in the dark late at night when he couldn't sleep? Obi-Wan had always said he enjoyed the night more than the day, though he seemed to like sleeping better than both day and night. A sad smile formed on Qui-Gon's lips. Obi-Wan had never been an earlier riser, at least not when he had been a Padawan. Qui-Gon had had to force his apprentice out of bed more times than he could remember. But he had enjoyed thinking up new ways to make his Padawan rise…they both had – even if Obi-Wan had been rather grumpy afterwards.
Qui-Gon blinked back more tears as memories of Obi-Wan's other funny and interesting traits flooded his mind. For one night and one night only, Qui-Gon would remember their time together, and not the last ten years of silence. For one night, he would be the Master of a young, hard-working, bull-headed apprentice. For one night, he would be sitting next to his Padawan, helping him meditate or reminding him to release his emotions into the Force.
For one night, Obi-Wan would still be there, a smile on his young face and laughter in his cerulean eyes.
Then Qui-Gon would struggle down the long, rough road of healing.
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The Other Author's Notes: Well, the first chapter is done! Look forward to an exciting story full of plot twists, angst, and action. Remember, reviews are always appreciated and truly do help me write faster. Review replies will be posted on my profile page.
Edit: 3-10-2007