Author's note*
Hello, Hello! This is my first Gintama fanfic and I hope you will like it. This is a series of oneshots based on episodes of Gintama. Basically re-written episodes full of yaoi goodness. *Note that I will pair up anybody together and will make anybody a seme and or a uke XD Let me know on the reviews if you want me to re-write an episode just to coat it with yaoi goodness. Also *note that I've only seen the first 154 episodes. So any episode suggestion above and beyond 154, I will not rewrite because I'm still catching up. Keep in mind that I'm a slow person so I won't be catching up anytime soon. LuLz
Enjoy!
Ep: 31 Lets pop that cherry after I eat this parfait. Part 1
Summary: After Gintoki was hit by a careless driver and was rushed to the hospital, everyone was shocked to see the silver haired samurai has lost his memory. It's up to Shinpachi and Kagura to help him restore his memory. Despite their efforts there are no signs of his memory returning. What happens after Hijikata decides to help out? Stay tuned.
Pairing: Hijikata(uke) x Gintoki(Seme)
Warning: extreme fluff! OOC!
"Um, why are you doing this?"
"It's alright, Gin-san, leave everything to me," said a strange young woman with long lavender hair, "Sa-chan won't hurt you."
"Grandma always said you can't trust the people that say they won't hurt you," Gintoki said in an unsure tone. He looked down at the earth beneath him. "We're so high up," he thought as the young woman leaped from roof top to roof top while holding him tightly in her arms. Who is this woman and why is she taking him away from the four eyed teenager and the Chinese girl? The young woman has told him that they are lovers and are soon to be married, but Gintoki can't seem to remember anything about her. He doesn't seem to remember anything about himself either.
"There they are!"
"Four eyes?" Gintoki thought as he looks behind the woman named Sa-chan. He saw the kids he came to know as Shinpachi and Kagura. They were chasing after him. "What's she doing?" Gintoki questioned when Kagura had the tip of her umbrella pointed directly at him and Sa-chan.
"You're not taking our Gin-chan!" Kagura yelled, as bullets were fired from her umbrella and towards Sa-chan and Gintoki.
"You think that attack will stop me?" the lavender haired woman questioned as she leaped backwards and somersaulted all the way to the top of an electric pole. "Don't worry, Gin-san, once we're alone I'll teach you everything about me."
"I just want to learn about my past," Gintoki said, furrowing his brows. This woman is so persistent it's annoying! This actually seems familiar to him.
"Learning about me means learning about you," she giggles as Gintoki glared at her.
"Gin-chan!" Kagura interrupted as she ran up the electric pole. She swung her umbrella at the woman but was unsuccessful as said woman dodged the attack and leaped away. "Let's buy a small house together, Gin-san, and start our new beginning," the woman shouted in glee. She landed safely on a roof top and ranted on about having kids and what they will be named and such.
Gintoki gritted his teeth as the woman continued her babble. "Stop deciding things for us! I don't want to live with you nor have kids with you!" he shouted, startling himself. "Whoa, wh-where did that come from?" Gintoki thought, not sure why he suddenly snapped. He looks back up at the woman and jumped at the strange expression on her face. He was so sure the woman would cry and throw him off the roof, instead she looks…turned on.
"Those words make my chest tighten!" She stated as her face flushes and her eyes dilate in lust. "My love!" she moaned as she inches her face closer to Gintoki's with her lips puckered.
"Wa-Wa-Wait!" Gintoki stammered, placing his hands on the woman's shoulders and keeping her at a safe distance from his face.
"I won't let you have Gin-chan!" Kagura interrupted once again as she shot more of her bullets towards the two.
"UWAH!"
"Tsk, he got away," Hijikata growled to himself as he lit up a cigarette with his one of a kind mayonnaise jar lighter. Both he and Sougo were chasing after the fugitive Joui leader, Katsura, but they somehow lost the criminal in an alley with a dead end.
"If you weren't so fat then maybe we would have caught him, Hijikata-san," Sougo insulted. The first division captain folded his arms and shook his head disapprovingly. "Maybe Kondo-san and I should put you on a diet"
"Hey! Who do you think you're calling fat?" Hijikata questions as he glares, hard, at the sadist.
"You've been putting on weight with your constant mayonnaise eating,"
"Why you-" Hijikata growled, about ready to draw his sword and attack Sougo until suddenly a loud explosion was heard. "What the hell?!" Hijikata shouts as he ran towards the source of the explosion. As both the Shinsengumi Police got closer to the scene, Hijikata was able to make out what, or who, was the cause of the explosion. "Tsk! Why am I not surprised that Sakata and his kids are the ones causing trouble," he thought as he and Sougo stopped at their tracks. "Oi, what do you think you're doing?!" he yelled, demanding answers from the four.
"Give back Gin-chan!" Kagura yelled, swinging her umbrella at the lavender haired woman.
"Oi, China, you're making a big mess!" Sougo yelled. Kagura ignored him and continued to chase after Sa-chan.
"That attack is useless against me!" Sa-chan stated, landing on top of another electric pole. She folds her arms and glared down at Kagura. "Gin-san and I will live happily together and- huh? Where's my Gin-san?" She asked herself, looking down at her arms. Huh, did she drop the samurai?
"Gin-san!" Shinpachi shouted as his eyes widened. Gintoki was falling from the sky. The teen ran towards the falling samurai. "He's so far away, there is no way I can catch Gin-san in time!" he thought to himself as he tried his hardest to run faster. Just then, Shinpachi saw where, well who, the silver haired samurai was about to fall on. "Hijikata-san, watch out!"
"Watch out, for what?!" Hijikata questioned, raising his brow. The boy was running frantically towards him and was making a series of strange hand gestures. Hijikata knew that Gintoki's kids were an odd bunch but seriously, what's wrong with the teen?
"Hijikata-san, can you stand right here?" Sougo asked as he grabbed Hijikata by the arm and forced him to walk a few paces forward.
"Sougo, what the hell are you- UWAH!" Hijikata cried as something heavy plummets him to the ground.
"Gin-chan, are you okay?!" Kagura asked as she ran towards the samurais.
"Are you okay fatty-san?" Sougo asked, not actually giving a shit about Hijikata's wellbeing.
"Sou-go, you b-bastard," Hijikata growled, glaring up at his first division captain.
"So, the idiot lost his memory," Hijikata said, taking a draft of his cigarette. "I knew it was a matter of time before Sakata does something stupid to himself,"
"So far we've had no luck restoring his memory, instead we've made the situation worse by putting him in danger," Shinpachi said, providing the Shinsengumi with information. He furrows his brows in guilt. Maybe it would have been best to let Gintoki rest at the hospital. He looks over at the unconscious silver haired samurai, whom was currently resting against a wooden fence. Both Shinpachi and Kagura almost got their boss killed if it wasn't for Hijikata breaking Gintoki's fall.
"Don't worry too much about it kid, your dad will regain his memory," Hijikata said, walking over to Gintoki and kneeling down to his eye level.
"Dad?" Shinpachi questioned.
"Knowing him, and his stubborn personality, he'll regain his memory in no time," Hijikata continued watching as Gintoki began to stir in his sleep. The silver haired samurai's eyes fluttered open and gazed into Hijikata's metal blue eyes. "Well it looks like sleeping beauty is finally awake," Hijikata announced as he stood up straight. "It's about time you woke up."
"Gin-chan!" Kagura cheered, hugging Gintoki around his neck tightly.
"Gin-san, are you okay?!" Shinpachi asked, hoping that Gintoki didn't get hurt from all that's happened.
"Had a good rest Danna?" Sougo asked, gaining Gintoki's attention.
"Who are you two?" Gintoki asked the Shinsengumi Police. He gazed curiously at Hijikata. There is something about this man that he can't put his finger on.
"I'm Okita Sougo and this is my apprentice and slave, Hijikata," Sougo greeted, smiling down at Gintoki.
"Who the hell are you calling an apprentice and slave?!" Hijikata growled, grabbing the collar of Sougo's shirt. He's just about had enough of this sadists taunting.
"I was only joking, fatty-san," Sougo then said, not phased at the fact that Hijikata looked ready to kill him.
"Bastard!" Hijikata growled as he let go of Sougo's shirt and withdrew his sword. He swung the weapon down towards Sougo's head but the sadist blocked the attack with his own sword.
"Fatty, fat, fat, fatty," Sougo sang as he avoided another one of Hijikatas fatal attacks.
"Sougo!" Hijikata growled.
"Guys, this isn't the time to fight!" Shinpachi tried to reason, hoping that neither samurai would "accidentally" kill him or his friends.
"Pft, ha ha ha ha!" Gintoki suddenly bursts out laughing as he clutched his stomach with his hands.
"Why are you laughing Gin-chan?" Kagura asked, releasing her arms from Gintoki's neck.
"Oi, what's so funny?" Hijikata demanded, glaring hard at Gintoki.
"Sorry, sorry," Gintoki apologized as his laughing died down. He wiped a tear from his eye. "It's just that you guys are so entertaining it makes me sorry that I lost my memory," Gintoki said, smiling up at Hijikata.
Hijikata's eyes widened slightly at Gintoki's smile. "I don't think I've ever seen the idiot smile like that before," he thought, looking away from the silver haired idiot and placing his sword back in its scabbard. "Why do I suddenly feel flustered?" Hijikata thought, very aware of the faint, pink, blush on his cheeks. Hijikata coughed onto his fist and looked back toward Gintoki. The idiot was still smiling cutely at him. "…If you're that sorry then stick around with me, I'll help you regain your memory."
"Eh? You're going to help us out, Hijikata-san?" Shinpachi asked, surprised. "But I thought you hate each other,"
"Actually, they're both secret lovers-"
"-Shut up idiot!" Hijikata scolded, hitting Sougo upside the head. "What's the point of hating each other if you don't remember why?" Hijikata stated as he looked back towards Gintoki, whom was giving him a confused expression. "So, what do you say? Want to spend your day with me instead of worrying your kids?"
Gintoki thought for a moment. Should he go with the man named Hijikata? He hardly knows him and apparently they hate each other. Hijikata could possibly be planning on killing Gintoki. He stared the man in the eyes, they were a nice shade of greyish blue. Gintoki faintly blushed at the determined look Hijikata had. He looked away before anyone noticed his blush. Thinking for a moment longer, Gintoki finally came to a decision. "Alright, I'll go with you," Gintoki smiled before standing up. Something's telling him that hanging around this guy is going to be interesting.
"But, Gin-chan," Kagura protested before Gintoki placed his hand on her head.
"Both of you head home, I'll be fine," he assured.
"If you say so, Gin-san. Let's go, Kagura," Shinpachi said, putting his hand on Kagura's shoulder.
"No!" Kagura protested, pulling away from Shinpachi and clutching onto Gintoki's arm. "I want to stay with Gin-chan!"
Gintoki sighed and picked at his nose with his free hand. "Listen, if you go with Shinpachi, I'll buy you all the pickled seaweed you want,"
"Really?!" Kagura gasped with a smile. Her eyes beamed with joy as Gintoki nodded in agreement.
"It looks like he remembers some things about his kids," Hijikata said to himself, letting a small smile grace his features. "Sougo, why don't you go back to the Shinsengumi and take charge while I'm with this Sugar Freak," Hijikata instructed, taking a draft of his cigarette. "If Kondo asks, tell him I'm taking the rest of the day off."
"Okay, Hijikata-san… Make sure to wear a condom," Sougo said, quickly avoiding a punch to the face from his commander.
"Get going!" Hijikata growled, watching as Sougo walked away while making sexual gestures with his hands.
"So, what do we do from here?" Gintoki asked as he waves goodbye to Shinpachi and Kagura. He approached Hijikata and smiled at him.
"…S-stop smiling like that, Sakata," Hijikata said, feeling his blush return to his face, "it's creping me out."
"Huh, do I not normally smile?" Gintoki asked with a raised brow, smile never leaving his face.
"It's not that," Hijikata said, averting his eyes away from Gintoki. For some reason, he can feel butterflies flutter around in his stomach whenever he catches sight of Gintoki's sincere smile. What's wrong with him? Is Hijikata catching a cold? "Whenever you smile it's usually a smug or a menacing grin," Hijikata answered, finally looking at the silver haired samurai.
"Smug? What did I have to be smug about?" Gintoki asked, while cocking his head to the side almost cutely. He kept the smile on his face, knowing well that it's making a nice reaction come out of the Shinsengumi police. Could Hijikata be nervous around him? Is the Shinsengumi usually this nervous around him? Gintoki could get used to this!
Hijikata glared at Gintoki. The silver haired samurai had that smug look on his face now. Well so much for the nice feeling he had in his stomach. The butterflies must have died from Gintoki's change in features. "As if I'd know, baka," Hijikata sneered while pulling out a box of smokes from the inside of his jacket. Opening the container, Hijikata pulls out one of the cancer sticks and was about to place it on his lips before a cold had grips his wrist. "Oi, what do you think you are doing?" Hijikata growled, glaring dangerously at Gintoki.
"Saving your life," Gintoki snapped, shocking Hijikata. "Don't you know cigarettes are bad for your health?!"
Hijikata's eyes widened and his heart skipped a beat. No way, Sakata Gintoki is actually worried about Hijikata's wellbeing? Nobody, except for Kondo, ever cared about Hijikata's smoking habits. The concerned look in the silver haired samurai's features made Hijikata's cheeks burn from the intensity of his gaze. "W-Why do y-you care!" Hijikata stammered. "You never gave a crap before!"
"Well now I do!" Gintoki stated, making Hijikata gasp and blush harder.
"S… Sakata why…" Hijikata mumbled as his heart continued running a mile. Why is he reacting like this towards Gintoki?
"Because… if you continue smoking then you'll look like an 80 year old geezer by the time your 30!"
"Eh?!" Hijikata voiced, glaring hard at Gintoki. This idiot really knows how to tick him off. Way to kill the moment!
"Don't you know the effects of smoking? First your skin gets paler like a vampire, your teeth gets yellow like you haven't brushed them in years, your hair gets thinner-" Gintoki continued, ranting on and on and on about how smoking makes your appearance change drastically. Hijikata clenched his teeth tightly and forms his hands into fists. The more this silver haired idiot talked, the more Hijikata was close to losing his patience. If Gintoki says one more thing, Hijikata might actually lose it. "-You can also get random blotched of dark skin on your body… say, now that I see you closely," Gintoki says, inching his face closer to Hijikata's neck. He narrows his eyes and spots a very, VERY, faint discolored mark on the crook of Hijikata's neck. "You're already growing random blotches of skin on your neck-"
"-IT'S A BIRTH MARK!" Hijikata shouted. Before the Shinsengumi police could even realize what he was doing, his fist had already collided with the silver haired samurais face and sent said samurai flying back. "Da… Damn," Hijikata sighed. This was going to be a long day.
"Okay, maybe we've gotten off on the wrong foot," Hijikata started, coughing onto his fist in a way to ease the tension.
"You think?" Gintoki asked in a harsh tone. Both samurais were currently at a restaurant, sitting at a booth across from each other waiting for their orders. Hijikata felt bad for suddenly attacking Gintoki, so he brought the silver haired samurai to a restaurant as a way of showing his apologies. Gintoki's left eye glared at the samurai across from him while his right, now bruised, eye was being soothed by a cold, raw, steak.
"Hey, it's your own fault for not keeping your mouth shut!" Hijikata growled, crossing his arms and glaring back at the silver haired samurai. Taking a deep breath, Hijikata lets his breath out in a sigh. "I'm sorry alright?" Hijikata said while scratching the back of his head. "How many times do I have to repeat myself?"
"Until I get my memory back," Gintoki answered, while putting the raw steak down on the table.
"Tsk, as if I'll repeat myself until then," Hijikata growled. Folding his arms once again, Hijikata leaned back against his seat and stared out the window. He does honestly regret punching Gintoki in the face. After Hijikata went to check if Gintoki was alright, the silver haired samurai had a fresh bruise forming on his face. Not only that, Gintoki lost his memory once again. Hijikata had to go through the process of explaining the situation and managed to jog some memory back to Gintoki, though; the samurai wasn't able to restore the memory of Gintoki's life before his accident. A sigh escapes Hijikata's lips. This was going to be a long day for the two of them.
"What are you sighing for?" Gintoki asked, making Hijikata snap out of his thoughts and stare back at the silver haired man. "Are you disappointed that you're single or what?"
"Huh? What are you talking about, Sakata?" Hijikata asked, cocking up an eyebrow.
"The way you're gazing at the couples outside-" Gintoki said, pointing his index finger out the clear window, "-makes it seem like you're lovesick."
"Lovesick?" Hijikata mumbled to himself while looking out the window. Like Gintoki said, the streets were covered with couples holding hands, kissing, buying each other gifts, etc. Hell, even Gintoki's giant dog is nuzzling its nose against another, much smaller, dog's nose. "I didn't even notice what I was staring at…" Hijikata drifted, watching how even the ugliest of aliens had an attractive human woman at his side. He must have an incredible personality for her to want to be with him… either that or he is rich.
He then noticed a gay couple openly walk down a street with their hands entwined together. It looked almost heartwarming. Hijikata pulls out one of his hands from their folded position and stares down at it. The samurai isn't sure he's ever held hands with anybody before, not even with his own family. Clenching his fist tightly from the sudden negative thought Hijikata looks back at the gay couple outside. His eyes widened when he instead saw himself and Gintoki holding hands while smiling lovingly at each other. "What the hell?" Hijikata questioned himself while feverishly rubbing at his eyes. He glanced back out the window and saw that it was no longer Gintoki and him. He sighs in relief and tries to calm his speeding heart. What happened; is his mind playing tricks on him now?
"Oi, our food is already here, what's wrong?" Gintoki asked, glancing back out the window. "What, do you have something against homosexuals?"
"What?" Hijikata gasped. "I don't have anything against them!"
"Whoa, you don't have to be so defensive," Gintoki said, while grabbing his spoon. He began to play around with his steamed rice. "So what's with the dazed look, do you have someone you miss?"
"It's not that I miss someone," Hijikata started, looking down at his own steamed rice. For some reason, Hijikata doesn't have much of an appetite anymore. "I don't really have someone to miss,"
"Really, why is that?" Gintoki asked, looking at the samurai across from him. He felt a small bit of concern when he saw the sad look the Shinsengumi police was making. "Is it because the people you've dated didn't give good head?"
"Sh-shut up, Sakata, that's not it at all!" Hijikata objected as his whole face turned red from what Gintoki said. "I've never dated before-" Hijikata palms his mouth and stared at Gintoki with wide eyes. Shit.
"Eh, is that true?" Gintoki asked, giving Hijikata a smug look.
"H-hey, t-they forgot t-to bring the m-m-m-mayonnaise," Hijikata stuttered terribly as he called for one of the waitresses to bring him a bottle of mayonnaise. Shit, shit, SHIT! Why did he blurt that out, and to Gintoki of all people?
"Oi, you don't have to be embarrassed about it," Gintoki chuckled, finding it extremely adorable that Hijikata is avoiding eye contact. "Does that mean you're still a virgin?"
"T-That's none of your business, Sakata!" Hijikata growled, turning redder then he already was. "Say another word and I'll slice your head off,"
"Alright, alright," Gintoki chuckles as he puts his hands up in surrender. He places his right elbow on the table and rested his head on his hand. "You know, I think it's sort of sweet that you're still a virgin."
"How is it sweet?" Hijikata asked, raising a brow. "It's embarrassing for a man my age."
"If you're saving yourself for someone special, say your soul mate, than I find it sweet," Gintoki answered, smiling warmly at Hijikata. "Don't be in a rush to find the one just so you can pop that cherry. You'll only end up hurt that way. Just take it nice and slow. No matter how long it will take you to find your Prince Charming, it will all be worth the wait in the end. I bet he's in the convenient store buying you a pack of smokes right now,"
"Tsk, there goes my heart acting stupid again," Hijikata thought to himself, referring to how his heart is running a mile. Why is it that such a slow, selfish, bastard like Gintoki manages to be so caring and sweet at the same time? "Oi, what do you mean by Prince Charming?!"
Hijikata raised his brow when he saw how Gintoki was staring, wide eyed, at something behind him. "What's wrong, Sakata?" Hijikata asked. He turned his head to inspect what Gintoki could possibly be staring at. There was no one Hijikata knew, just a waitress serving a chocolate parfait to the booth next to theirs.
"W-what is this…?" Gintoki asked himself, earning Hijikata's attention back. "That parfait… the chocolate… the sugar…" Gintoki looked down at his trembling hands. He could feel his veins pulsing; sweat forming on his forehead, and his throat going dry. A familiar sensation he would feel when he… craved sugar? "How odd, it's as if the sugar is calling to me," Gintoki said almost in a whisper, but Hijikata managed to understand the situation.
"The sugar… Of course!" Hijikata nearly shouted as he stood up to his feet. "Quick, bring me the most sugars thing you have on the menu, now!" He shouted at the waitress who brought him his bottle of mayonnaise. She quickly agreed and left in a hurry. "Excuse me, let me borrow this!" Hijikata said as he took the chocolate parfait from the people sitting in the booth next to his. "Here eat this, the sugar might jog your memory!" he yelled as he sat on Gintoki's side of the booth and shoved the chocolate in his mouth.
Gintoki gagged on the chocolate, and grabbed Hijikata's wrist to prevent him from shoving the rest of the cup down his throat. Removing the parfait from his mouth, Gintoki licked his lips, savoring the chocolate goodness. The familiar flavor reminded Gintoki of all the times he would eat sugar, and slowly his memory started to return. "I… I think I'm-" Gintoki murmured as he looked into Hijikata's metal blue eyes, "-starting to… remember."
Hijikata smiled toothily when he saw Gintoki's eyes return to their natural dead fish eye form. It's working; the sugar is actually making him remember who he is! Hijikata's heart skipped a beat when Gintoki's hand rested on his cheek.
"Toushirou…?" Gintoki murmured.
Hijikata gasped at the sound of his name. His heartbeat sped up and his stomach fluttered. That's the first time Gintoki has ever said his name. "Saka… Gintoki," he said, earning a smile from the silver haired samurai. A faint, pink, blush formed on Hijikata's cheeks.
"I remember… everything-" Gintoki was soon interrupted by the sound of an explosion and shattering glass.
"Uwah!" both samurais cried as they were suddenly blown off of their booth.
Hijikata's back hit the wall hard and slid down towards the floor. "W-What the hell?" He groaned as he looked back towards his blown up booth. On the shattered table lied the, unconscious, joui leader and his pet Elizabeth.
"Yo, Fatty-san," Sougo greeted. He stood on top of both Katsura and Elizabeth with a bazooka in hand. "I caught Katsura and his duck thing,"
"S-Sougo," Hijikata growled as he pushed himself up to his feet, using the wall as support. "Y-You b-bastard,"
"Hm, what did I do?" Sougo asked with a tilt of his head. "By the way, where is Danna?" he asked, referring to Gintoki.
Hijikata feverishly looked around the room. "Gin-Gintoki?!" he called out. He then heard a muffled moan come from under him. Hijikata looked down at his feet and saw that he was standing right on top of the silver haired samurai, whom had a pull of blood surrounding his head. "Gintoki!"
Author's note*
So this is part 1 of 2 of this one shot. I was going to post them together but I felt that it was too long to fit in one chapter.
Anyway I hope you like this! comment your thoughts and an episode you want me to rewrite.