A/N: ok, this is my second fan fic, and its a little out of my comfort zone. because im going in blind! yay. haha. so this one is about Bella and Edward- it had nothing to do with Kill the Lights. in this story, The Cullens are not vampires, but a big piece of the Mob- extended family of the Voultare. so you can imagine they are very close net. i hope you like it. this first chapter is really slow because i wasnt sure about what i wanted to happen, but now i am! so get ready! thanks, please review.

(truthfully, i like kill the lights better, but we have to give it a shot!)

Chapter One

Bella

There was water everywhere. Painted liquid, painted in red. Little bubbles of air escaped me, bursting, and turning. Blood. There was blood, blood around me, in my eyes, in my lungs. The painted red water was rushing in a line, the sun shining with intent. I couldn't pin point my position, the water moved and moved. My fingers reached for a hand. A ghost of a hand, I slipped right through. Colors melted into one another, the green of the world turned black, the blues and reds merged into darkness. A pair of eyes, deep topaz, stared at me- clear in the liquid. The rush was white now, light seeped through my eye lids, and the world disappeared. I reached out. I couldn't find a thing to grab. Spiders worked there way up my arms- I felt them. I screamed, but no sound came out. The spiders crawled up to my neck, surrounding me. They filed into my mouth, filling my throat, my lungs…eating away at me….

I sat up, woke up by the screaming. I was gasping for air, the sheets stuck to my body, twisted around me. I looked around my darkened room, the one I haven't painted yet, and fell back against my bed. I couldn't get enough air, and I didn't know how long I laid there.

The morning light spilled into my room, warming my chilled body. I fought the pull of sleep. I never slept all the way through the night anymore, the nightmares taking over and waking me up. Now that the day had come, I pulled myself out of bed, and readied for work.

I had been out of the hospital for a month now. And I was healing quite well. My head didn't bleed anymore. I padded to the bathroom of my new house. I apparently bought it a week before the accident. I don't remember this. I don't remember anything. My life feels like a big blank slate, with nothing on it. I had no past, no one I knew from before. My family, the doctors said, have been dead for years. I was alone.

The world was big and lonely, with no one around me to ease the pain of the darkness. My mind seemed like an empty vessel. I remembered the basics- like things I've learned over the course of my twenty one years. I remember how to brush my teeth and what two plus two is. But the people are gone, who I was is gone. I don't have a favorite food, not a fond memory of loved ones.

I was person with no past, and virtually no future. My house on the corner of Clemmer street was small and comfy, but void of any sort of emotion. But out of all of these things, the worst thing about my amnesia is the dreams. Visions I can't seem to get a handle on, faces that have no name, places I've never been. The worst is knowing I had more, and not really knowing. The worst is forgetting.

I worked at a clinic. I had started right after I got out of the hospital myself, and not knowing much else, I went into a field that held some sort of familiarity. My day was a haze of medications, IV's faces, and orders.

I went home that night exhausted, my feet dragging. Outside my door, I paused to unlock it. My hand touched the door knob, a sharp pain exploded through my head. I closed my eyes and groaned.

Flashes of faces, smiles and screams flew through my vision. I let go of the knob and they stopped. Gasping, I let threw myself into my house. I collapsed on the thread bare couch. I kicked off my shoes and curled up. It was like I couldn't control anything, the world was a movie- feeding me images I didn't want.

I closed my eyes, praying for a dreamless night. This of course was in vain. They came as soon as my eyes closed.

His smile was the one I had been waiting for. His green eyes were the ones I had been looking for. His voice was one I had hoped to hear. Too far away, I couldn't reach him, could touch, yet couldn't let go. My feet were stuck, suspended in mid air, the wind around me visible, and the sun above me burning. My skin was burning. He had a hand out to me- I reached. I fell. The world was dark now, the sun melted. The bottomless pit I was falling in swallowed me whole.

I opened my eyes, the sound of a car alarm waking me up. I looked at my phone. Three in the morning. I had only been asleep for three hours. I slowly pulled myself off of my couch and shed most of my uniform. The noise of the alarm was hitting my head and bouncing off the walls. I sat down to put my head between my knees. The pain didn't recede. It got worse. I pulled my hands back from head to find blood all over them.

This wasn't good. I needed to get back to my doctor. I staggered up, dizzy. I grabbed on to the couch to steady myself as I looked for my car keys. I needed to reach doctor Carlisle at the clinic. I tripped on my own feet as I grabbed my keys to head out the door. I had no shoes on, but it was the last thing on my mind. This had happened before yes, but it had never been this bad. I felt the blood running down my neck, coming out of my ears.

I opened the front door, and stumbled to my car, not even bothering to lock my door. I saw nothing but my feet below me and I made my way. I went to fall again, not to my surprise, but was caught.

I was vaguely aware of a pare of arms gathering me up. I struggled against them, but they held on tightly.

"No…"I gasped, the world spun. "I have to get to Carlisle. I have to…" the blood was running down my arms to the side walk. The last thing I saw was a pare of green eyes, and I was comforted.

Edward

I hated what I had done to her. Driving her car to my father's clinic, I looked back at Bella Swan. My former fiancé. The love of my life. Who was currently bleeding out in the passenger seat of her Pontiac. I drove as fast as I could, my heart beating a mile a minute. It was bad enough she had no memory of me- but I could still watch her, could still see her alive. But if she died, if she died because of me, there would be nothing left.

I carried her to Carlisle, who took her automatically. I didn't know why she just didn't call 911. Bella was cold and pale. She looked like me.

"Carlisle." I pleaded, taking her hand at her hospital bed, it reminded me of the first time we had been here-after the accident. I had been standing just as I had now, pleading for her life. But while her life was spared, her memory was lost forever. It was better this way, I told myself, just as everyone else in my family had. It was better that she didn't remember us, didn't remember what we were. She was safe now. But was she happy?

She was close to waking up when I left her. I drove Carlisle's car home, where I could keep an eye on her. Home, the home I bought right next to hers, the house I bought for her as a wedding gift. She picked it out, she loved that house. So she got to keep it. and I would be there, close at hand. But never close enough.

A/N: ok, so thats the first chapter. any questions, feel free to message me and such. review, though! review!