Of Selfishness and Originals
by: poopaw
Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Diaries. I am merely a human being trying to understand why some people look like Damon and Stefan and I look like . . . poopaw.
Tyler walks out of his truck and looks around the woods. He's in the middle of a forest just a few miles from Alaska. The cold is somewhat biting, and that's saying something since all he manages to feel since he killed that girl and activated his transformation is heat.
It's been a week since he last got a message from Caroline. She told him she misses him.
And god, he'd be a fucking liar if he thinks for even a second that he doesn't miss her. But he doesn't call her back because that would just make everything worse between them. The longing would become too much and he'd just come back to Mystic Falls, uncured and potentially dangerous.
He'd rather die than risk hurting Caroline again.
So, that's why he's staying far away from Mystic Falls. That's why at this very moment, he's leaning on the hood of his truck, listening to absolute silence in the middle of nowhere. And because he's surrounded by that silence, for a moment, he allows himself to think of Caroline.
Her voice. Her smile. Her hair. Her body. Her laugh. Her glare. Her tearful face. Her drunk face.
Her face when he bit her. Her pained and dying face.
When it nears two in the morning, his heart breaks just a little bit more, and he snaps. He grabs his phone, dialing the number he knows by heart now. He knows it's bad to call. But it's late and she's probably asleep. He'll just leave a message. Just to calm his erratically beating and anxious chest.
"Caroline?" he huskily whispers, hearing his voice echo through the empty forest. It's eerie. "It's me. Hi. I just . . . I'm sorry for not calling back. It's just been so . . . hard."
He gulps and bites his lip, stopping himself from saying too much.
It's been so hard without you. I can't sleep knowing that I almost killed you. You're the only reason keeping me alive. I wish I could go back. I fucking miss you. I miss having you next to me. I love you. I love you. I love you.
Tyler realizes it's been almost two minutes since he last talked and Caroline would probably throw a fit if he doesn't talk soon, so he does. He doesn't want her to be mad at him (more than she already is, he means). "I'm trying to get better. I promise. When I'm fixed, I'll come back."
I love you, Caroline. Please wait for me. I miss you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Don't lose hope. You're the only person who believes in me. Don't leave me.
"I have to go now. Be safe. Try not to piss off anyone powerful."
And then, he ends the call. He knows she's going to be pissed at his short message. But he doesn't want to make it any harder on them than it already is. If he gives heart out on that one phone call, he'll want more. She'll want more. And they both can't give more than they already have.
He thinks of all the things he didn't say. All the things he wishes she would understand. Caroline has always had that ability to notice his unspoken thoughts. Right now, he hopes she still has that ability.
Caroline, please be understanding. Please be patient.
Caroline, when I'm better, when Klaus can't control me anymore, we'll be together again. We'll be happy. And I'm going to kill Klaus for siring me, for making me hurt you. I don't care if there's no way to kill him. I'll find a way.
Please be safe. I can't take it if something happens to you because of Klaus. I'll come back, cured or not, and kill him if he places even just a finger on you.
I love you, Caroline. I miss you. I'm trying to get better for you. Please don't lose hope on me now. Please don't leave me. Just a little bit more wait, I promise. I love you. I love you. I love you.
When she doesn't call back after a week, he feels miserable and broken. He understands why she didn't call back but that doesn't make it any less painful. (For the record, it is quite painful)
He wonders if she would actually wait for him.
He wonders if he's that selfish enough to want her to wait for him.
He wonders if she's found someone else now.
If the new man is better than Tyler can ever be . . . if he's more handsome . . . if he's nicer . . . if he's more caring. If Caroline loves the new man more than she ever loved – no, stop it.
He's going to get better and then, he'll go back to Mystic Falls.
Tyler allows himself a minute to imagine the moment when Caroline's back in his arms and Klaus' hold on everyone is gone.
She wonders if Tyler knows how far from reality he actually is.
Klaus affects everyone's lives now – Elena, Damon, Stefan, Bonnie, Tyler, even her. She can't even deny the fact that she somehow now plays a more significant role in Klaus' life, not after what happened during her birthday and the Mikaelson Ball.
Caroline loves Tyler.
But she can't control Klaus – what he does, how he feels.
And everyone knows that what Niklaus Mikaelson wants, Niklaus Mikaelson gets.
AN: So, this is like, my second account. I used to be beachbumyeahh. This is my first Vampire Diaries attempt. If I don't do justice, I understand. Hope you enjoyed! Review!