DISCLAIMER: I don't own Final Fantasy or have any copyright privileges. I am however humbly borrowing number 7 in order to create some chaos. The only thing I own is a dirty mind.

A day of catastrophes in the life of Vincent.

Chapter One

It had been like any other day to him. He planned on staying at the mansion, minding his own business. Maybe tidy up the basement a little. Drink some wine, read that novel Tifa lent him. Have a relaxing time.

He hadn't thought she might decide to show up. To be honest, he should be ready for it at all times, never knowing when she would decide to "drop around".

Vincent Valentine was a man of few words, and fewer things that bothered, annoyed, or scared him. An 18 year old Ninja princess from Wutai managed to do all three to him. Vincent didn't like this one bit.

Since Cloud had defeated the remnants Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz, things had settled down. Therefore the world was boring in the eyes of Yuffie Kisaragi. This didn't bode well with Vincent. She bothered everyone, but most of them handled her. Tifa and Cloud actually enjoyed her company. Though he would never admit it, and would never show it, she unnerved him.

Just how did she stay so bubbly and obnoxious? Even his glare, which scared even the toughest of men, had no effect on her. She just kept bouncing away, chattering and bothering him.

As he swept through the deserted Shin-Ra mansion, he heard the awful clanging and clattering of someone pounding away at the old piano. Pulling out Cerberus, he rolled army style into the room, ready to shoot. There she was, sitting on top of the piano; her swinging legs casually banging at the keys. Yuffie was here.

Groaning inwardly, Vincent swept to his feet in one fluid motion. He knew what her presence meant. It meant a lot of trouble.

"Hi Vinnie!" She waved at him, her voice sounding like a megaphone in the usual quiet. "Did ya miss me?"

"Since your visit last week? No, I haven't. Particularly since you cut and ran."

Yuffie let out an ear piercing laugh, holding her sides. "Oh man, it was good though,' she giggled, wiping a tear from her eye. "Cid's face was priceless. Even you had a chuckle!"

It was true, he had. He still didn't like it though. She had redecorated the main room, resembling a tea party without his knowledge, and somehow convinced all of the AVALANCHE members to pay a visit. Thanks to Yuffie, dark rumours and whispers were spreading concerning his sexuality.

That Yuffie sure had talent, and guts; he couldn't imagine anyone else being so blatantly stupid, and playing a prank on him.

"So Vincent, what are ya up to?" Yuffie asked, tailing him as he left the room, towards the basement. He'd hide in the coffin, she hated entering the basement.

Today just wasn't his day. He ignored her banter, and crawled into the coffin. She didn't stop talking, not even pausing to breathe.

This was going to be a long, long day.

2 Hours later

The gunman couldn't take it any longer. She was still there. She had, for ten minutes, left, and Vincent was almost confident enough to get out, when she returned, eating his food. He knew this, because her mouth was full and muffled as she spoke.

30 years, he had slept in a coffin, his mind in turmoil over what had happened to him, and the woman he loved. He had gone through so much, been experimented on, saw people dying, and he retained his sanity. A few hours in the company of this particular ninja, however, was driving him to the edge. Having the barrel of Cerberus pointing at him was looking mighty good.

"Vinnie, are you listening to me? I came all the way from Wutai to see you, and all you do is hide in your stinky coffin..."

That was it. He pushed the coffin lid open, his blood boiling. It was meant to be a day of rest...

He pushed the coffin lid open, to discover the basement was empty.