A/N: Ok so first off, disclaimer: I don't own South Park blah blah blah, we all know what I'd do if I did blah blah blah... Yeah, I know this sucks major balls but it's been on my desktop for a week and a half, begging me to put it up, so I did. Sorry. Complete fluff with very Out Of Character characters. Plus at the end it gets really rushed and I could have done more, but this is all I could muster. Enjoy ;)
I stand outside his vibrantly colored house, waiting at his window, watching him angrily move about, contemplating whether or not I should actually go inside and do this thing. Then I read over the paper gripped tightly in my fat hands, crinkling at the edges, and I know I have to. Those things he said, and the few, but important things I have to say, are right here in this song, in my hands. It was like a God-send when it came up on my itunes after our fight. A sign that I need to try.
I go to the back of his house and stealthily grab his ladder. I've done this so many times before its like second nature. Quietly placing the ladder against his siding, I start my way up. Just then an old lady walking a dog walks by and stares at me with a look on her face. Something on the lines of "now what in the heavens is that boy doing?"
"Young man, what are you doing?" She says loudly. I almost fall back hearing her speak, because I would have expected her to just move along. So much weird shit happens in South Park that a kid climbing up a window is normal. She must be new. Ha, a new old person. I scrabble down the ladder.
"Shut up old lady! If he hears anything, It'll be ruined." I am completely aware that she doesn't understand one singe word of this, because she doesn't know the back story. I was hoping that she would just moving along huffing irritated at my comment, she seams like that kind of old lady, but she doesn't. She must have seen something in my face, sadness, fear, desperation. I don't know what, but she must have seen something because all she does is sigh and motion for me to come with her and sit under Kyle's tree. I don't know what posses me to do it, but before I can comprehend my feet are pick my aft ass off the ladder and walking me over to where the lady now sits.
"Now, young man, what is troubling you." Her voice is warmer than I expected, and for a second I pretend that she's my grandmother. Then I stop.
"Nothing, now leave before I kill you. You seam Jewish." She does too. Big nose and everything. But again she doesn't leave. Instead she puts one arm around my shoulders, leans my head for me on her shoulder and rocks side to side.
"I wont bite. I Have nothing better to do, and Sandy is all pooped out. This is her fifth walk today, you know. And you remind me a lot of my son when he was your age. I'd like to help." For some reason, I keep my head on her shoulder. I keep the motion of rocking back and forth in time with her with her. Her voice just seams so soothing. She cant possibly do any harm.
"Well… Wait," She's old… what if she's against gays? "Are you homophobic?" I ask, accusingly. I move to take my head off her shoulder, but she lays it there again. Laughing quietly she starts rocking again.
"Let me tell you a story. One day, this was a long time ago mind you … Oh, about fifty years ago I'd say, but one day, while I was cleaning the kitchen, My son comes home from school. Sixteen years old, about your age." She's close, I'm fifteen. "I asked him how his day was and he didn't answer. I went up to his room and found him laying on his bed with a rope in his hands and one of my dining room set chairs. Also, his face was swollen and his arms were cut so bad, they were all red I tell you. You see.. What is your name again honey?" I come out of my story stupor for a moment before replying.
"Uhhh… Cartman." I expect her to grab my head, place it on her shoulders and continue. but she doesn't.
"Well that surly can't be your first name, now can it be? Your first name dear?" Woah, no one has ever called me by my first name before. Except for my mother and butters, but I don't really count them as people.
"Eric." It even feels wrong coming out of my mouth.
"You see, Eric, My boy finally told his school friends his view on boys. Meaning, he was a gay. They beat him up until they were sure the gay was out of him. He almost kid himself, that was what the rope was for. We had to move because of it, used to live in this house right here." She points to Kyle's house. "So, the answer to you question, now, is no. I am not against gays."
I stare in awe… Then ask the question that first pops into my brain.
"Is your son alive?" After all, she must be pretty lonely if she walks her dog five times a day.
"Oh, yes, of course he is. Lives in California with his husband Leo. But thats not what were here to talk about, now is it?" Well, really, I'm supposed to be up in Kyle's room right now, but I don't point this out to her. I like her. "so, tell me whats troubling you."
Do you want to know the most absolutely craziest thing ever? I do. I tell her exactly whats up.
And want to know something crazier? She just tells me to do it. She tells me to go up there and spill my guts out to him.
I wave to her as she walks away with Sandy. She gave me her name, address, and phone number in case I need anyone to talk to. Ellise, 914-234-6578 at 19 street street. Then I start my assent back up the ladder.
My hands start to shake three steps away from his open window, but I move on. I have to, I have to, I have to. Do this. I take two quite steps into his room, and wait for him to notice me.
It actually takes him quite a long time, because his head is cast down on his floor, pacing. And also, when he's angry, he's pretty much only concerned with his source of anger.
And then it happens. He takes his head up briefly and his eyes catch mine. At first his eyes shine with shock, because it's not like he expected me. I contemplate for a moment if he was crying, but decide against it. Kyle doesn't cry, especially not for me. Then he registers its me and I can see the rage fill his china doll like eyes again. The millions of green hues stare at me with every emotion one can feel when in his situation. His hands are balled in fists and he's ready to stomp at me, I can tell. He opens his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.
I decide to just go right in and sing the song to him. My words can't possibly help at this point.
"I probably shouldn't say this
But at times I get so scared
When I think about the previous
Relationship we shared
It was awesome but we lost it
It's not possible for me not to care
And now we're standing in the rain
But nothing's ever gonna change until you hear
My Jew
The seven things I hate about you
The seven things I hate about you
Oh you
You're vain, your games
You're insecure
You love me, you like her
You make me laugh
You make me cry
I don't know which side to buy
Your friends they're jerks
When you act like them
Just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you
It's awkward and silent
As I wait for you to say
What I need to hear now
Your sincere apology
When you mean it I'll believe it
If you text it I'll delete it
Let's be clear
Oh, I'm not coming back
You're taking seven steps here
The seven things I hate about you
You're vain, your games
You're insecure
You love me, you like her
You make me laugh, you make me cry
I don't know which side to buy
Your friends they're jerks
When you act like them
Just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you
And compared to all the great things
That would take too long to write
I probably should mention the seven that I like
The seven things I like about you
Your hair, your eyes
Your old Levis
When we kiss I'm hypnotized
You make me laugh, you make me cry
But I guess that's both I'll have to buy
Your hand in mine
When we're intertwined
Everything's alright
I wanna be with the one I know
And the seventh thing I like the most that you do
You make me love you
You do, oh
Ooh, ooh, ooh oh
Ooh, ooh, ooh oh"
Yeah, Miley Cyrus, I know. Shut Up.
The whole time he stood still, with a blank look on his face. Now, however, e just stares at me in awe, and as I look into his eyes there something I cant read in them. I decide to speak, now that he doesn't look like he might kill me.
"Kyle, I… The First part of the song is just to let you know, that I know that what I did to you wasn't right and… It wont ever happen ever again." I take a step towards him, taking his silence as a sign of good. He doesn't move away, just keeps standing there, so I go on. "But the bottom part, those things plus a world more, that is what I love about you." I take another step towards him. He doesn't back away. Nope, instead he gently places himself on the edge of his bed with his face in his hands.
I don't know if I should approach him or not, but seeing as I already took all the effort to come up here and sign to him, added to the fact that Eric Theodore Cartman never backs down, leads me to his side on the bed. It creaks under my weight and involuntarily he slides into me, gravity pulling him into the dent I make. His shoulders are moving up and down, only slightly, but they are. I take the risk and place my hand on his back. When he doesn't push it off I start rubbing slow circles on it. I'm not very good at comforting people, but even I know that this is what you do when a Jew fag is breaking down in front of your eyes.
Its silent in his room, except for the sound of my hand on his shirt and the occasional cricket out side. I start to think that we might just stay like this for the rest of the night if I don't say something else, trying to resolve and repair our relationship, but then he speaks.
"Why… Why do you… Why is it you?" It comes out choked, wet and muffled because his face is still in his boney fingered hands. His question confuses me. Why is what me? Is he asking why its me that hurts him? Or why its me that he loves?
"What do you mean?" I don't call him any pet names, or even Kyle, because I'm afraid that to many words would break the unspoken agreement we seam to have right now.
"Why is it you that makes me feel butterflies? Why do you have to be the one who holds me? Why do I… Why do I want it to be you? Why do I stay awake into the wee hours of night, replaying over and over again only the conversations I had with you? Why do I feel complete when I'm with you? Even when we're bickering I feel happy, because its you I'm talking to. Why does my brain go to mush when you put your arms around me? Why are you the only person I would skip homework for? Your an anti-Semitic asshole, who is racists to everybody and so narcissistic that if your head was any bigger it would explode. And I can do better than you, you know. I can do so much better. Why did my heart choose you? You make my life hell. But in the hell you make it heaven. Why can't I ever let go of you?" After he is done my first thought is There he goes with another one of hella lame gay ass speeches again. Of course, I don't say this to him. Instead, I offer him my theory of why God paired us together.
"Sometimes, when I lay awake thinking of you, I ask myself the same questions. But my answer is simple: Fate. I think back to before I knew you, and I don't remember ever feeling anything but lonely. Your the first and only person to have ever made me feel anything but. I feel like God made you specifically for me, and only me. God made us everything the other is not, because thats our dynamic. We fight and fight and fight and fight but in the end we're there for each other because of… love." This is a big step, because in all the eight months and seventeen days we've been dating (yeah, I count the days. so what, cockface?) we still haven't said I love you. I've known I loved him from the minute I realized I liked him, but I was waiting for him to say it first. guess I'm just gonna have to step up and be the man we all know I am.
"Kyle, Its me because of love. I love you, Kyle Broflowski. And I know that you love me too." I turn towards him and pull his face out of his hands. Holding his precious face in my hands always makes me feel warm and full of everything nice. It makes me feel important and needed, something I'm not very much used to. I wipe away the tears from his checks, he's stopped crying. I wait for him to say something. Anything would be better than the silence that holds my "I love you" suspended in the air, thickening it. I think he might be paralyzed because I don't even see him blink, but then a hint of a smile forms on the right corner of his mouth. And then It spreads to the left corner and soon he has a full blown smile-for-the-picture smile.
Before I can even react to his smile, and his rapidly changing moods, he throws his arms around my neck and squeezes as tight as his tiny little arms can. I rap my arms around his waist and rock us back and forth like Ellise did for me earlier. He's crying again, but this time I'm pretty sure its out of joy. And, and you cant repeat this to anyone, I start crying tears of joy too. What started as just trying to get Kyle back turned into the "I love you" moment. I feel like we finally took a step further into our relationship. Maybe now we can do it, too. Sweet.
"I love you too, Cartman. I love you so much." He whispers in my ear. I didn't even realizes he hadn't said it back until then, but it feels so good and refreshing to hear it. He kisses my cheek and I lay us down on his bed. My arm is around his shoulders and his head is in the crook of my neck. one of his arms is by his side and the other is splayed out on top of my stomach. I turn just my head down and right to face him, and see his smiling up at me. I lean down to kiss his forehead and when I pull up I ask him the question I've needed the answer for since I stepped in his window.
"So… You forgive me then?" he smacks my stomach and reaches up to kiss my lips lightly, and only for a few moments.
"Of course. I said I love you didn't I?" Well, yeah I guess he did. But I always get satisfaction from hearing him say he forgives me. He can never hold a grudge, my poor little jew.
"yeah, yeah your right you did. And so did I. Wow, we said I love you." I think out loud not even caring that I sound like a fairy. He laughs at me, snuggling closer.
"But Cartman-" I cut him off before he can continue. If Ellise can call me Eric, than so can my boyfriend who loves me.
"Kyle, you can call me Eric you know." His face is slightly amused, mostly confused.
"Ok… Eric… Since when did you get so philosophical?" I don't really want to answer that some old lady with saggy tits and a saggy dog helped me, but his inquisitive look leads me to it.
"Some Kike hag told me some stuff outside that got me to thinking, I guess." He punches me in the arm for saying kike, but doesn't say anything about it. He's to happy.
"Well, that nice old lady who happens to be Jewish who helped you did some major good. I'd like to meet her to thank her." I nod and tell him all about Ellise. I also tell him that we should go visit her only because I know he wants to thank her. Its not like I want to go and see her. You hippie.
We don't say anything for a long time, content with staying in each others embrace, but I feel I have to say one last thing. Just to show him that I'm not a complete pussy, whose completely whipped.
"Also, I think the reason that you love me so much is that I'm totally sweet and cool and awesome and everybody loves me. You just can't help it." I say with a laugh at the end. He laughs too, gets up leaning on his elbows, and looks down at me smiling.
"And theres the Cartman we all know and hate." He is laughing now too. I playfully graze my fist against his arm and look at him with a serious face and a furrowed brow.
"You hate me Kyle? Really? Because I could have sworn you sa-" I was cut off by Kyle doing something his mother defiantly didn't want her precious jewish baby doing. He is kissing me, playfully, but also with a hint of actual love hidden behind the scenes. It always felt amazing kissing him, but now with the added bonus that he loves me makes it a hundred times better. He pulls away first, with his eyes half lidded.
"You know what I mean jackass." He leans down to kiss me again, and I close the gap. The kiss soon turns heated with his tong shoving itself down my throat. Not like I'm complaining though.
A/N: P.S You know what would make this Fic better, now that I JUST realized this? REVIEWS! How awesome is that idea? Pretty awesome.