Lisa Simpson vs. Evil.
Lisa ran through the forest in tears.
"Why me?"
It had been a hard day today. Francine, one of the newer kids, beat the living shit out of Lisa before destroying her homework assignment. During Lunch, Lisa asked to sit with Jessica Lovejoy and her friends. Jessica responded by telling Lisa off and calling her every name in the book before finally giving her the cold shoulder. Soon after, Jessica started a rumor that Lisa was a bed wetter. The rumor spread like wildfire and no one would believe Lisa when she said it wasn't true. Finally, in the library, Lisa caught site of a new video posted by Sherri and Terri on their website, . It was footage of Lisa throwing up in class from last Wednesday.
Lisa couldn't take it anymore. She ran out into the woods and kept moving, crying all along the way.
"Why me?" She thought. "What did I ever do to deserve this? Why can't they just leave me alone?" Lisa soon came to a wall belonging to a big building. Not evening caring anymore, Lisa curled up to the building and cried. Little did she know she was right next to Springfield Penitentiary.
Alright! Who do we have today?" Chief Wiggum said. Eddie and Lou came out of the room with a man in a straightjacket and muzzle tied to a dolly.
"This is Hannibal Lecter. He's a serial killer and cannibal." Lou said.
"Okay put him in a cell over there." Wiggum said pointing to the door behind him. Eddie and Lou did as they were told. Wiggum took a sip of coffee and said, "Ah. That's some good caffeine.
Suddenly, there was in explosion from the closed room. Alarmed, Wiggum ran into the room to find complete and utter chaos in there. All of the inmates were running rampant and Eddie and Lou were wrapped up in the straightjacket, being used as human piñatas. Hannibal was nowhere to be found.
"Oh boy." Chief Wiggum said.
Meanwhile Lisa was still crying next to the prison, completely unaware that it was in fact a prison. Hannibal climbed over the wall, lost his footing, and fell over. He landed right next to Lisa.
Lisa looked the man over. He was wearing a prison uniform. As he lifted his head, Lisa could see he had some sort of muzzle over his mouth. The man turned to Lisa, his unblinking eyes staring right into her soul.
"Hello little girl. Would you mind hel-"The man never got to finish his sentence because Lisa started kicking him in the head. Then she ran off screaming into the city.
Hannibal picked himself up. Although he was seething with rage on the inside, his outer demeanor remained calm. "That little brat!" He said. "I shall have her liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti" He licked his lips at the thought and followed her.
Lisa ran into the city. She had no idea who that guy was. All she knew was that she had to get away. She was so busy thinking, she didn't notice a merchant with goods in front of her until she crashed into him. The force of the impact caused all her school work to fly out of her backpack.
"Watch where you're going, you stupid kid!" The merchant said.
"Sorry!" Lisa replied as she gathered all her supplies in her backpack. Then she closed it up and continued to run. She didn't get far before she noticed her backpack seemed heavier than usual. Confused, Lisa opened her backpack and found a strange-looking cube in there.
"That's weird." Lisa said as she picked up the cube. "I don't remember this being in my backpack." It occurred to Lisa that the box belonged to the merchant and she might have picked it up by accident. She was about to turn around and return it, but something compelled her to look at it again.
It was a very beautiful box with strange markings all over it. Out of curiosity, Lisa pushed a section of the box in and, to her surprise, it popped up and sank back down.
"It's like an ancient Rubik's Cube!" Lisa exclaimed happily. She snuck into the forgotten opening of the Springfield Subway and when she was sure she was alone, she continued to mess with the box. After a good ten minutes the box leaped out of Lisa's hands and changed into a flower-like shape. A mini-earthquake shook the subway as a blue light blinded Lisa.
It stopped as quickly as it had begun and the first thing Lisa noticed when she got her bearings back was a man standing before her. She looked up and was horrified to see nails driven into his head. His black, lifeless eyes stared down at Lisa.
"Wh-who-who are y-you?" Lisa stammered.
The man or thing picked up the box and said. "I am an angel to some, a demon to others." Lisa could see three other creatures standing behind the man, all as horribly mutilated as him.
"Either way, we will tear your soul apart!" The three creatures grabbed Lisa and began to drag her off.
"No! Somebody help me!" Lisa screamed.
Now when the earthquake happened, an old subway train got shaken loose and began to move on its own. It just so happened to pass by when the monsters were dragging Lisa away and it hit all three of them. Lisa was let go and fell safely to the floor.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The main monster yelled, letting go of the box as he did so. Lisa quickly picked it up. "I can't let anyone else open this deathtrap!" She ran off towards the exit.
"How dare you!" The monster exclaimed as he summoned a hooked chain to rip Lisa's skin off. However, it only snagged her backpack.
"Hell will find you!" The monster exclaimed "And it will embrace you."
Lisa ran out of the subway and right into another person. She looked up to see a clown. Not Krusty the Clown like she knew, but a different clown with a baggy suit, huge red nose, and a bunch of balloons in his hands.
"Hello, Little girl!" The clown said. "Do you want a balloon?"
"Uh..No thanks!" Lisa said. Without another word, she ran around the clown and slammed right into another one. This time it was Krusty.
"Hey! Watch were you're going!" Krusty scolded.
"Sorry Krusty!" Lisa said. "Is there a clown convention here or something?"
"What makes you say that?" Krusty asked.
"Don't you see the other clown?" Lisa said pointing behind herself.
"What other clown?"
"The one right behind m- Lisa stopped when she saw that the clown was gone.
"Just get out of my way kid. I got a show to do!" Lisa made way for Krusty.
"Odd. I was sure there was a clown there a minutes ago." Lisa was worried. Ever since she left school, it had been one terrifying encounter after another. All she wanted to do was go home. She noticed a phone booth, the only one in Springfield, in at a corner. She looked down and noticed a quarter in front of her. She picked it up, entered the booth and deposited it. She decided to call her father.
"Homer Simpson speaking."
"Dad?"
"Lisa? Is that you?"
"Yes. It is."
"What's wrong sweetie?"
"Dad, listen. I kinda had a bad day at school.
"What kind of bad day?"
"The kind that makes you run away from school. I'm at a phone booth right now and I was wondering if you could pick me up?"
"Of course. What phone booth are you at exactly?"
"The one on…123 Fake Street.
"Okay. Be there in ten minutes."
Then Homer hung up.
Lisa put the phone up and was about to walk out when the phone rang again. Lisa, confused, answered the phone.
"Hello?"
"Do you like scary movies?"
"Uh…no. I'm more into anime. Good-bye forever!"
Lisa hung up.
"That was weird." She said.
Lisa left the phone booth and waited for her father in front of a nearby coffee shop. After about five minutes had passed, Lisa noticed a box marked Toys for Tots. One very disturbing toy caught her eye. She walked up to the box to get a closer look at it. It was a doll. A Good Guy doll to be exact but it had scars all over its face as well as an evil smile. Lisa picked up the doll.
"Hi I'm Chucky. Wanna play?"
Lisa yelped in surprise, earning her a confused glare from passerby. Lisa shot them an embarrassed smile and turned back to the doll.
"This doll can't be safe for kids." Lisa said.
Suddenly, an object fell out of the doll's pocket. Lisa looked at it and gasped. It was a knife.
"Ok this thing is not going anywhere near a kid." Lisa put the knife back in the doll's pocket. Then she walked into the coffee shop and threw it in the trash. Around this time her father pulled up.
"Hi Sweetie!" Homer said.
"Hey dad." Lisa said as she climbed into the car.
"Now Lisa, I have to do something for Lenny before we go home."
"That's fine."
Homer drove away from the coffee shop. As they were driving, Lisa told Homer all about her day.
"Damn kids." Homer said. "And Bart couldn't help you?"
"He was in detention all day" Lisa said.
"Well I'll be da-"Homer was cut off by his car bumping into something. Homer to see a weird black and white stick in his way.
"Road Hog!" Homer shouted.
"Dad. I think that's a railroad guard."
"But what would a railroad guard be doing in the middle of the street?"
Homer's question was answered by another guard closing them in from behind.
"Do'h!"
A train was rushing toward them at breakneck speed. The conductor noticed the car in the way and slammed the breaks. Little did he know that he was carrying a stowaway in one of his box cars. The train coming to a complete stop frightened the stowaway and he jumped out of the car with his suit case. The man picked himself up and noticed a pink car up ahead. Out of sheer anger, he took the chainsaw from his suit case, got it started, and rushed towards the car.
Luckily, the train was able to stop in time and Homer and Lisa drove out of the way as soon the guards went up. Homer and Lisa were so ecstatic about escaping with their lives, they didn't even notice the chainsaw wielding manic coming after them. Nor did they notice him give up the chase and get into a crazy chainsaw dance.
After a while, Homer noticed he was almost out of gas. It just so happened that he was passing the last gas station before leaving Springfield. Homer got off and went inside.
"Hello? Anyone here?" He called because no one was at the front. Meanwhile, in the back, the cashier that should be serving Homer was getting stabbed to death by The Shape himself. Michael turned his head to the sound of someone calling from the front and abandoned the cashier, leaving him to drown in his own blood.
"Hmm. Guess they must be on break." Homer thought. At that moment he remembered about the gas containers in the back of his car. He could just fill up the car at the place he was heading. So he went back to the car, completely unaware of Michael Myers walking right behind him. He got in the car and drove off.
Homer looked to his side to see Lisa peacefully sleeping.
"Awww!" Homer said. "Lisa's so cute when she's asleep."
Lisa's eyes flew opened. She was surprised to find herself, not in the car. But in a dark and dank boiler room. Lisa wondered where she was as she explored the strange place. She touched the walls, only to shrink back quickly, her hand in a world of pain. As she was sucking her injured hand, she heard a little girl's giggle up ahead. She looked up to see three little girls all wearing white dresses. They were playing jump rope while chanting a nursery rhyme
1, 2. Freddy's coming for you.
3, 4. Better lock your door.
5, 6. Grab you crucifix.
7, 8. Gonna stay up late.
9, 10. Never sleep again.
"Freddy? Who's Freddy?" Lisa asked.
"I am." Lisa turned around to see a man walking towards her. She couldn't see his face. It was hidden in the shadows cast by his dirty fedora. He was wearing an equally dirty red and green striped sweater. He had something on his right hand. It looked like a glove with blades coming out of the fingers. The man raised his gloved hand and raked his claws on the walls, making Lisa cringe and cover her ears at the horrible sound they were making.
"Ah ha ha aha ha!" The man laughed at the top of his lungs. "Hello Lisa."
"H-how do you know my name?" Lisa was trembling.
"I know everything about you, little girl." Freddy said.
"What do you want from me?" Lisa yelled, trying not to let the fear show in her voice. Freddy responded by shushing her. Then he flexed his claws. "Welcome to my world, bitch!"
Lisa screamed and dodged out of the way, barely missing the claws. She ran as fast as she could with Freddy right on her tail. Lisa was terrified at this point. She had no idea what was going on. Who was this guy? Why was he trying to kill her? Where did he get that ridiculous sweater? Lisa was so caught up in her thoughts that she also crashed into the wall blocking her path. There was nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. She was doomed.
"Got ya!" Freddy said. He loomed in closer, enjoying the fear on Lisa's face. He retched back his claws and raked them across Lisa's left arm.
"Owwwww!" Lisa cried. Freddy smiled.
"Sweet dreams kid."
Lisa awoke with a start. She was back in the car with a very confused Homer looking at her.
"Lisa are you okay?" He asked.
"I'm fine." Lisa said. "Where are we?"
"I think this place is called Camp Crystal Lake or something."
Lisa and Homer both got out of the car. Lisa noticed that she had scratches on her arm but tried to ignore them.
"I gotta deliver this package to Lenny's uncle. Why don't you play around here for a little bit?"
"Okay." Lisa said. While Homer went to deliver the package, Lisa went into one of the cabins. It was old and musty. It was also really dark. Lisa could not see for shit.
"Gee, it's kinda dark in here."
Lisa suddenly bumped into something in the darkness that fell on top of her. Lisa felt the object up and grabbed it with both her hands. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she could see what the object was. It was a mummified human head.
Terrified, Lisa threw the head away and ran out of the cabin screaming. She ducked into the car and locked the doors.
"Ki Ki Ki, Ma Ma Ma."
"What's that noise?" Lisa asked herself. She was even more startled when she heard knocking behind her. She turned to see her father unlocking the front door with his key.
"All done! Now let's go home!"
Homer and Lisa were almost back in Springfield and Lisa couldn't be happier. She was finally going to be completely safe, after a bad day of scares.
"Hey. Who's that guy?" Homer said, pointing to a strange man hitchhiking. He was dressed in all black.
"Dad. I don't think we should pick that guy up."
"Too late."
Lisa winced when she noticed the man already sitting behind her.
"Where to, my good man." Homer said.
"Springfield Hospital." The man said before getting into a coughing fit. Lisa was very uncomfortable, even more so when she realized that the man had a creepy puppet with him. The puppet had dark red eyes and red swirls on its cheeks.
"What seems to be troubling you little girl?" The man asked.
Lisa hesitated at first, then she figured what's the harm. Her father was in the car anyway.
"I just had a bad day today. Most of my days are bad." She admitted.
"It doesn't sound like you appreciate life much." The man said.
"To be honest, I kinda don't."
The man's face darkened. "Life is not something to take for granted little girl." He said.
"We're here." Homer said. They arrived at the hospital.
"Thank you. Both of you." The man said as he left the car and began to walk towards the hospital. As he was walking away, he turned his puppet toward Lisa. It looked as if it was staring at her.
"Ok, now we can go home!" Homer said.
"Oh thank god!"
Later that evening, the kids gathered near the front door to see their parents off. It was date night and Homer was taking Marge to the fanciest restaurant in Springfield, The Gilded Truffle.
"Now Lisa, you're in charge while we're gone." Marge said.
"Yes, mom." Lisa said.
Marge kissed her children good-bye and she and Homer left.
The first thing Lisa heard after her parents drove away was the sound of the back door opening. She turned to see Bart carrying Maggie out the door.
"Where do you think you're going?" She demanded.
"Dawn won a pair of tickets to a Slipknot concert last week and the concert is tonight." Bart answered.
"Okay, but I why are you taking Maggie if you only have two tickets?"
"Babies get in free. Plus Maggie's holding the tickets." Maggie reached into her onesie and pulled out the tickets.
"Smell ya later." No further words and Bart closed the door behind him. Lisa was alone in the house.
"Okay Lisa, it'll be okay." she told herself. "I'll just watch some TV." Lisa sat down on the couch, keeping the box from earlier close at hand. She flicked the TV on, and was delighted to see a documentary about pandas was on.
After about an hour or so of watching TV, Lisa figured it was time for bed. She got off the couch and started going up the stairs when she heard the front door opening. She figured it was her parents or siblings so her first reaction was to turn around and greet whoever was entering the house.
Her smile faded, however, when instead she saw the muzzled man from earlier.
"Good evening, little gir-"The man was cut off again, this time because Lisa threw the box at him, knocking him out. The impact of the box also knocked off his muzzle.
Lisa then grabbed the man's legs and dragged him into her parent's closet where she tied him up. She then went to go lock the front door and noticed something on the porch. It was the Good Guy doll from earlier. Lisa screamed, kicked it away, and slammed the door shut. As a precaution, she proceeded to lock all the doors and windows of the house. By the time she was finished, she was so tired she was panting like a dog. Then the phone rang.
Lisa slowly picked it up, hoping it was Bart or Homer.
"Hello?"
"Scary night, isn't it Lisa."
"How do know my name? Who are you?"
"An old friend."
"What do want from me?"
"I wanna see what your insides look like!"
"Where are you?"
"In the closet."
Lisa hung up and ran upstairs to her room. She slowly approached her closet and slowly opened to find…nothing. The phone rang again and Lisa rushed down stairs to answer it.
"You lied. You weren't in my closet."
"I never said your closet."
Suddenly, a man in a Father Death costume burst out of the living room closet (that nobody really notices anymore.) and ran toward Lisa, knife in hand.
Lisa kicked the man in the crotch and tried to run up the stairs. However, the man threw the knife at Lisa and it stabbed right into her side. She fell down with a yelp. The man walked over to Lisa and ripped the knife away from her body, causing even more pain.
Lisa looked up to see the man wipe her blood off his knife. And prepare to stab again.
"Any last words, kid?" He asked.
Lisa noticed another, much bigger man in a white mask and a bigger knife sneak up behind her assailant.
"Look behind you!" She shouted.
"Huh?" was all the killer could say before The Shape stabbed him in the back. The killer whipped around and slit The Shape's throat. The two killers started stabbing each other while Lisa watched in horror.
"Wait!" She thought. "This could be my chance to escape." Lisa darted toward the back door. She planned to go to Flanders's house and have him call the police. When she opened the back door however, she was greeted with a third man with a stitched-together mask and a chainsaw.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
Lisa ran toward the front door with the chainsaw-wielding maniac right on her tail. She opened the front door only to find a huge man with a hockey mask and a machete blocking her way.
"ki-ki-ki, ma-ma-ma"
Lisa was caught between two more killers! They both raised their chainsaw and machete respectfully. As Lisa jumped out of the way, the two weapons collided, causing sparks to fly everywhere.
"Oh no!" Lisa thought. "There's a bunch of psychopaths in my house, I've been stabbed and the living room is on fire! How could this get any worse?"
Suddenly, the doll crashed through the window and into the house, yelling hysterically.
"Oh come on!" Lisa ran up the stairs with the doll after her. As she got to the top, she saw at the end of the hallway, the clown from before, only this time with sharp teeth.
"Get ready to float, little girl!" the clown said.
As Lisa watched, the clown got down on its knees and morphed into creature with a dog's body and three heads. One was Francine's, one was Jessica's and one was one of the twins, although Lisa couldn't tell which one.
The creature ran toward Lisa, who dodged it and let it pounce on the doll who was just about to stab Lisa.
"Son of a bitch!" The doll yelled.
Lisa ran into her parent's room and locked the door.
"What is going on?" Lisa cried out.
"It would seem like you're in a bit of a pickle."
Lisa winced and turn around to see the once muzzled man still in his restraints but wide awake.
"Who are you?" Lisa asked.
"My name is Hannibal Lecter." The man said. "And I'm am but a normal man with a most unusual appetite."
"How did you get into my house?" Lisa asked.
"You really should consider putting your keys somewhere besides under the mat." Hannibal said.
"Are you behind all this?" Lisa asked.
"No. Afraid not." Hannibal said. "And you shouldn't worry about those other fellows are going to do to you. You should just be worried about what I'm going to do to you."
Lisa gulped. "What exactly are you going to do to me?"
"Kill you and eat your internal organs on a silver platter!" Hannibal tried to grab Lisa but she dodged him and jumped onto the bed.
"Time to di-"Hannibal was interrupted for the third time, this time by someone shooting a dart in his throat.
"Whew! Glad that's ov-"Lisa herself was interrupted by a man in a pig mask chloroforming her.
"Ahhh!"
Lisa woke up in her bed, soaked with sweat. "It was all a dream." She thought "It was all just a nightmare!"
"On the contrary, the nightmare is just beginning!" Lisa looked up to see four familiar blades tearing through her wall towards her. Lisa screamed and jumped on of the bed just as Freddy crashed through the bed. He chased Lisa to the stair case where she lost her footing and fell all the way down the stairs. Freddy, however, lost his footing as well and fell down the stairs as well, giving Lisa enough time to get up and run towards the front door.
"You'll never catch me!" Lisa shouted as she opened the door…..only to fall right out of an airplane that her house had somehow become. Freddy poked his head through the doorway.
"See you next fall, bitch!"
Lisa screamed at the top of her lungs as she fell into darkness and landed with a thud.
"Ugh, where am I now?" She asked herself. She was answered with a spotlight suddenly shining on her. As Lisa's eyes adjusted, see could see the entire school sitting in the assembly hall. From her viewpoint Lisa could tell she was on stage. The kids were all pointing and laughing at her.
"Why are they laughing at me? And why does it feel so cold in here?"
Both of those questions were answered when Lisa looked down and saw that she was completely naked.
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!"
Lisa immediately cover herself with her hands, her whole face a deep shade of red. She ran out of the stage, though the stage door and into the middle of town. She felt something on her and looked to see that her clothes were back on. She breathe a sigh of relief. However, her happiness was short lived when a huge earthquake shook Springfield and every building caught on fire. Freddy's now huge head burst through the ground and he rose over the town, a giant.
As Freddy rose, his huge hand came up from the ground that Lisa was standing on. Lisa was raised into the air and soon was eye-level with the huge Freddy. She felt all her teeth fall out from inside her mouth and she spit them out.
"mah eeth."
Freddy boomed with laughter as Lisa jumped off his hand. As she once again fell, she tried to grab Freddy sweater, but a piece of it just came off in her hand
Lisa awoke in a chair in the middle of a dark room. She felt something in her hand. She looked down and saw that it was a piece of cloth. Red and green cloth to be exact.
"I pulled this out of my dream." She realized. She tried to stand up but found herself stuck to the chair. There were little buzzsaw-like cuffs around her wrist and ankles. As her eyes adjusted to the dark, she noticed a block-like object hanging in front of her and almost underneath it, a plastic container. Suddenly a TV Lisa had no idea was there turned on, its light hurting Lisa's eyes. Lisa could still see the TV from behind the block. For a few seconds, there was nothing but static. Then a very familiar puppet appeared on screen.
"Hello Lisa." The Puppet said. "You don't know me but I know you. I want to play a game."
"The man from the car." Lisa realized.
"The device you are strapped to is a deathtrap. Once this recording ends, you will have sixty seconds until the buzzsaws begin turning and your hands and feet are permanently ripped from your arms and legs.
"I don't like the sound of that."
"If you look in front of you, you will notice a cement block suspended in the air with rope. And if you look down, you will see a container at your feet. You must smash your face against the block repeatedly until enough blood has fallen in to the container to release the trap. Live or die. Make your choice. Let the game begin!" The TV went off after that.
Lisa wasted no time. She began banging her head like she was listening to death metal. It hurt so badly, but she knew it would be worse if stopped. Suddenly she felt the cuffs come loose. She jumped out of the chair and went to turn on the light. When she did so, she saw the man, huddled in a corner, holding his puppet.
"Well done, Lisa." The man said. "You're alive. So many people are ungrateful for being alive. But not you. Not anymore."
"What are you talking about?" Lisa asked.
"You took your life for granted. The life you share with bullies and tormenters yes, but also with loved ones."
"Oh my God!" Lisa said. "Your right! I always have bad days, and I started to think that life just wasn't worth it. But being in that trap, as well as being stalked by a horde of killers and monsters, I now realize just how important life is. Thank you Mr…"
"Just call me Jigsaw." The man said. "Now let's get you out of he-" Jigsaw was cut off by a pair of scissors slicing his throat.
"Jigsaw!"
Jigsaw fell to the floor, choking on his own blood.
"Never mess with another man's dinner." Hannibal stepped out of the shadows, a pair of bloody scissors in his hands. Lisa ran up the stairs with Hannibal hot in pursuit. A dying Jigsaw was left in the basement. Another figure, a much smaller one, appeared near Jigsaw. He looked at Jigsaw then he looked at his puppet.
"This will do." The doll said.
Lisa ran out of the basement and into the living room which had small fires all over it. Standing in the middle of it was the monster with pins in his head. He was waiting for Lisa.
"You got to be kidding me!" Lisa exclaimed "You're here too?"
"You've stolen from Hell and now must pay Hell's price." The man said.
"You sure say Hell a lot." Lisa said.
"Silence!" The monster yelled.
"Sorry." Lisa replied.
"Now com with me to hell!" The monster said.
"Not so fast." Hannibal said. "Just who the hell might you be?"
"Hell is exactly what I am." The monster answered.
The two fiends begin to have an intelligent augment using their big words. Lisa saw this as an opportunity to escape. As she tried to make a break for it however, she bumped into the chainsaw man who hit her with a sledgehammer and began to drag her off.
Lis found herself in the boiler room again. But this time she was ready. She could feel Freddy's hot breath on her.
"Time to die bitch!" He growled.
"Not tonight!" Lisa shouted. Using her own dream powers, Lisa conjured up a saxophone and started playing it in Freddy's face. The musical notes coming out of it scratched Freddy and knocked him to the ground. Lisa jumped on him and grabbed him hard, refusing to let go.
She awoke to find Freddy in her arms while thrown over Leatherface's shoulder in the middle of the back yard.
"You little bitch!" Freddy said. He tried to rake his claws on Lisa but she let him go and he ended up scratching Leatherface's back. As Lisa ran off, Leatherface turned to face Freddy and raised his chainsaw.
"Aw Shit!" Freddy slashed Leatherface's legs, causing him to fall down and cut his own leg with the chainsaw.
"Ki-ki-ki, ma-ma-ma" Freddy to see his old enemy Jason fighting The Shape. They both noticed Freddy and started walking toward him, weapons in the air.
"Double shit."
Around this same time Pennywise the clown came outside carrying Ghostface in a choke-hold.
"She's mine!" Pennywise said. "I've already salted her meat with fear, and will swallow her whole."
"If anyone is going to eat her, it's going to be me!" Hannibal tackled Pennywise and wrestled him to the ground, forcing him to let go of Ghostface, who rushed right after them. Lisa noticed the box demon standing alone inside.
"Hey Pinhead!" She yelled while holding up the box. "You want your box back?"
"Yes. I do." Pinhead said angrily.
"Then go get it!" Lisa threw the box amongst the battling monsters. Pinhead teleported himself next to it and tried to grab it, only for Jason to throw Freddy at him, knocking them both down.
Lisa suddenly heard the sound of a tricycle and turned around to see Jigsaw's puppet riding on one while Chucky rode his back, knife in air.
"Die bitch!" Chucky screamed.
"This is an unnecessary turn of events." Jigsaw proclaimed.
Lisa was downright confused. She just lifted her foot and let the tricycle hit it, knocking the two doll into the already bloody fray. Lisa rushed inside and got gasoline and Aunt Selma's lighter that she left behind last week. As all the killers fought, Lisa sprayed gas all over them. Freddy was the only one to notice the smell as he was about to gouge Chucky's eyes out.
"Wait a minute, isn't' that gas?" All the killers stopped and smelled the air.
"Hey boys!"
All the killers looked to see Lisa holding a lighter. Lisa screamed "burn in hell!" while throwing the lighter at them.
"Not again!" Freddy yelled.
"Ugh, I hate kids." Chucky said.
The lighter fell on the killers and set them on fire. They all screamed in agony as the flames engulfed them. One by one they fell dead until a huge pile of burning corpses sat in the yard. It was around this time that the police and Lisa's parents arrived.
"Holy Moly!" Marge said.
"What the hell happened here?" Homer asked.
"Yeah what the hell happened here?" Bart said as he stepped out of the shadows with Maggie. Both of them were wearing Slipknot T-shirts.
Chief Wiggum approached Lisa. "Dear god you look hurt! Are you okay?" He asked.
"I'm fine." Lisa said. "They're just cuts and bruises." Marge went to hug Lisa, tears in her eyes.
"Oh my poor baby!" She cried. "Who did this to you?"
"Those guys." Lisa said, pointing to the burning pile of dead bodies.
"What did you do to them?" Bart asked.
"Let's just say I took care of it." Lisa said. "And it's all over no-" Lisa was interrupted by Sideshow Bob in his now burned Ghostface costume screaming like a maniac and rushing toward Lisa. Lisa grabbed the revolver from Chief Wiggum's pocket and shot Bob right between the eyes. He fell down dead.
"And that's the end of that chapter!" Homer said.
"Wait, why was Sideshow Bob trying to kill you instead of me?" Bart asked.
"Maybe he just got bored with you." Lisa answered. The cops went to grab the hose and put out the fire while the family hugged Lisa.
It was Monday at Springfield Elementary. Jessica, Francine and the twins were talking in the hallway.
"Did you guys hear about Lisa? Some guys tried to kill her and left her horribly injured!" Sherri said.
"Aw man! I bet Lisa's face is all disfigured and shit, not that it was pleasant to look at in the first place." Jessica said.
"Look! Here she comes now!" Terri said. Sure enough Lisa was coming down the hallway. To the girl's disappointment, her face was not disfigured at all. Although she had some bruises, cuts, and a missing tooth, she looked pretty normal.
"Damn! I was really hoping she would be disfigured." Jessica pouted. Then she got an idea.
"Francine, you go beat up Lisa. Make her look even uglier. I'll start insulting her so she cries and Sherri and Terri, you guys record the whole thing so we can upload it on !" Everyone agreed. Francine wasted no time and rushed toward Lisa.
"Your mine nerd!" She yelled. Before she could even make a fist however, Lisa punched her square in the face. Francine fell to the floor with a new black eye and tried to get up. But Lisa kicked her back down. Jessica and the twins watched in horror as Lisa proceeded to bite, scratch, and pretty much destroy Francine. When she finally stopped, Francine had blood coming from her nose and mouth and clumps of her hair were missing. Unable to get up, Francine crawled away from Lisa to the nurse's office.
Lisa then walked over to Jessica Lovejoy, took a deep breath and said. "You're a stupid, piece of shit, good for nothing, cocksucking, pigfucking, retarded, excuse for a human being!" Jessica just stood there, stunned for a while, then she burst into tears and ran off sobbing.
Next, Lisa turned to the twins, one of which dropped the Myphone they were gonna use to record Lisa's humiliation. Lisa picked it up and started to record Sherri and Terri.
"That's weird." Lisa said. "I thought I was supposed to be the bed wetter around here."
Sherri and Terri looked down to see that, out of fear, they had pissed themselves. Blushing bright red, they covered the stains on their dresses with their textbooks and ran off in shame.
"I'll upload this to Youtube later." Lisa said as she saved the video. She put the Myphone in her new backpack and walked to class with her head held high and a rather adorable smile on her face.
THE END.