Title - The Meaning of Love
Rating - Teen
Chapter - One: Thoughts
Spoilers - The End in the Beginning
xo ox xo ox xo ox xo ox xo ox


Once love is lost there is always a bit of angst filling the barriers of my heart. The nature of our love is pure, true, and everlasting if we both believe it can last. Until you came into my life I forgot what love is, you helped me gain it back, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you for giving me a chance to feel it again. I will always treasure those things you said to me, forever speaking, from the bottom of my heart. I've learned about life and dealing with people because of you, and you know, I've grown to love you for giving me my life back. You taught me that love is transcendent and eternal, now it's my turn to teach you the things you've taught me. It's my turn to show you how much I love you, it's my turn to embrace the aspect of loving you, and it is time for me to show you what greatness the world can be. Loving you is worth every little fragment of my broken heart. Even if you are lost in time, I will help you by being patient. Even if love is lost, I will never stop loving you, not once, even if it hurts like hell, I won't give up until I find you. I love you..... Throughout my life you have always been my hero, my friend, my partner and the love of my life.

A love that is strong will survive the wrath of fate. Love can survive the hideous encounters of the demonic world if you open yourself up and accept the truth. In search of that smile that makes the heart shine with happiness, and indulgence. Finding that glint of hope deep within your brown eyes should make my day, but, we've moved on, onto a place of forgotten glances and heartfelt hugs. That love will be lost for a while, until we find each other again, until we find out why we had fallen so hard for each other. You've taught me the basics of many different cultures, societies, feelings and so much more. Maybe that's why I love you so much, maybe that is why I was so profound in your credentials. There is so much that we've been through together that is probably why we are so close. You've given me my life back, maybe that's another reason why I am reasonable and understanding toward you. If I can tell you in a logical and intellectual way what you mean to me, I wouldn't really know how to respond. Knowing you, you would just wait for that special day when I tell you that I'm in love with you.

But can you see it in my eyes? I hope you can because I have that feeling in my heart when I am looking into them. We connect that way, unlike many other partners who don't share as much affection as we do. Maybe, someday, beneath the horizon, our dreams will come true. We connect with our hearts, souls, and minds and in the way we show love that dwells in our eyes.

It was more than a month ago when I was sitting on a hospital chair, waiting for you to wake up, wanting you to wake up. I was writing about how you can love someone, and the chance of taking risks. For a moment I glance up and see you breathing softly, with your eyes still glued shut. I wanted so badly to touch you and talk to you, but I couldn't bring myself to walk over to you. My heart sank into my blood, as it nearly broke when I didn't hear your voice. I miss you, and now I have admitted to myself that I'm in love with you. You told me with each moment is worth it in every way; I believe that now, because I may loose you.

I could feel the tears in my eyes, along with my heart breaking away in silence. I looked down to my laptop again and began writing every single feeling I had about loving you.

"'When you love someone, you open yourself up to suffering, that's the sad truth. Maybe they'll break your heart, maybe you'll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself in the same way. Those are the risks. That's the burden.

Like wings, they have weight, we feel the weight on our backs, but they are a burden that lifts us, and allows us to fly.'"

The moment I had finished writing down the word fly, I caught a glance at the man I loved. The moment I realized I love you, it was too late. I knew maybe there was a chance that I could have told you I loved you, but it is probably lost with you now. If I were to loose someone else I loved, then I don't know what I'll do. Please don't let me down. I brought my eyes to my laptop screen again, scrutinizing what I just got finished writing. I hesitated, then I hit the delete button without regret. Sometimes there are moments between us, there are times when we cannot see the light in front of us, but I see it clearly now, better than I've ever seen it before.

"--that dream,---" I heard Booth muttering something.

"Booth?" I said softly, bringing the laptop from my lap.

Before I knew it I made my way to you, I could feel the relief jolt out of me from hearing your voice. I missed hearing it. The moment I saw your face I could feel the world around me becoming lighter, fuller and more beautiful. I could feel the sun shining against my feet, and the moon tugging against my black veil. I could see within your chocolate brown eyes that something wasn't really right about you. But, I gently ignored it and began laughing heavenly with relief.

"You're awake!" I said happily, "You've been in a coma for four days." My smile grew bigger with the love I was sharing within it.

"It was so real...." You trailed off.

"It wasn't." I said laughing softly to myself. "What took you so long?" I asked hoping to tell him I loved him there. But something got in the way of that ever happening.

"Who are you?" You asked with utter confusion. At that moment my world fell apart, you looked at me with curiosity and innocence. You looked lost, while your handsome brown eyes didn't dare to play with mine; that is when I knew something was not right about you. You were restless, hurt and vulnerable, I knew that, because you'd just gotten out of your coma just a few minutes ago. But, why in the world don't you remember me?

You know Booth, it hurts to know that you don't remember me. When I had time to process the words "who are you?" my heart shattered into a billion tiny fragments. That was the moment I would never forget the utter confusion in your eyes, the terror within your features and your desire to speak. He was gone, just like that; the man I love is gone. But, even though he doesn't remember me, I will continue to fight my way to regain the man I once knew and love.

My eyes never left yours, not even for a second more. My worst fears and emotions ran throughout my body like a lighting storm fighting along with the harsh rain droplets. I was very happy you were awake, but at the same time I was very sad that you didn't remember me. You didn't remember me. The thought of you not remembering me nearly broke every bone in my body.

I looked down, studying the floor among me, wishing I could disappear right about now. Is it alright to be in love with someone? How is love worth it when all it does is cut you down and make you smaller? Why does it hurt so much that I want to cry for hours?

When the forces of evil come in balance with romance, it kills the human spirit. Maybe that's why I've decided that love isn't worth it anymore. 'Booth its Bones. You know who I am. I am your partner, your friend, possibly the woman you love. It's me, Bones…' While my eyes never left yours, the weight of the world rests on my shoulders, it's bearable, but not rational. Maybe love is all about taking risks and loosing those that you love, life has too many unbearable consequences in it. I was going to take love head on, but now, sadly, I am going to have to hide it once more. The risk of loosing you again is never going to happen.

Just for a second or two I wanted so badly to run away, I wanted to crawl up into the corner and wish this wasn't happening to me again. Booth needs me though; he needs someone by his side to help him get through this. Even though I knew I will get hit in the face with a train or a fist, I wasn't going to leave him just lying there in the hospital bed alone and confused. I had to be strong. He would want me to, he'd want me to be strong, for him.

"I'm Temperance, Booth." Deep down to the depth of my chest I could feel a sob filling the walls of it. I felt like crying, sooner than I wanted to in fact. "I'm a very good friend of yours." I smiled, wanting you to at least smile too, you were in my care now and I would not let you down, I just knew that much was true. "How do you feel right now?" I asked while my voice was beginning to trail off into a different world, filled with safe and bearable possibilities.

Just as you take your last step into a new world, a world full of acceptations, dangers, lies, and love there is always time among life that will hurt you in the long run. Since meeting you I've learned a great amount about how to open myself up to others. I closed the walls of my heart so many times that it caused me to become socially awkward. In my own world I consume most of my time working in the lab. My emotions are shallow, lifeless, or possibly drained from the everlasting and cruel earth that breaks my heart every time. My happiness is shredded in this world; it is shaped with the line of small fragments that define all the specks of rain drops that fall on my skin. We had an emotional connection. We had a possible future together, now all we have is time.

Booth is the only man who dared to become a part of me. Sure, I was a woman who was independent, bold and awkward, but he chose to stand by me. A man who was always there for me, one who opened my heart to joy and laughter. A man who is still here, and wrapped so dearly in my heart that I couldn't deny not loving him anymore. I just couldn't.

I found myself wanting to be as far from him as possible, this moment between us was starting to worry me, to kill me. I wanted to run, run to protect myself, run to shed this pain I was feeling inside. I looked down with distressful agony while you looked at me with curiosity.

"My head hurts right now." He said while chuckling softly to himself. I couldn't help but to laugh with him.

"That's because you just got out of a coma." I explained slightly, carefully.

Your brown eyes were shallow, lost and in deep thought. We looked at each other for a long time, not saying much to one another nor even wanting to look away from each other. I knew I loved you, but did you still love me? "I feel lost right now, I'm sorry if I upset you." You said sincerely.

"Booth..." I felt hesitant maybe a little too hesitant. I wanted to tell him that everything was going to be alright and it was too, there was just too much pain I was bearing. "Everything is going to be okay." I said gently, while removing a piece of hair from the right side of my face.

He was smiling so sweetly that I couldn't fight my smile back any longer. "Yeah?"

I nodded with relief, mixed in with sadness. "Yeah."
xo ox xo ox xo ox xo ox xo ox

The sun arouse from the everlasting sky as it paced around the earth, the raindrops played with the wind as it swayed back and forth into the delicate sky. The trees bristled or veered slightly as the wind knocked the leaves off those tall enormous trees. The clouds were parting from each other as the gray sky overwhelmed the true nature of the earth's beauty.

There is a simple feeling that I long to find out about: I want to know how to love someone. I want to know 'how' to know I am in love, rather than arguing that it is just a chemical making process. Maybe Booth is right, maybe there is such a thing called love.

My typing became consistent as I tried to fit the missing pieces inside my heart. The cursor moved consistently while it blinked several times before processing everything that I was writing. I could feel my excitement and curiosity widen as I was writing about loving someone. Deep down I know what love was, I can feel it, I know how it feels to feel love. The only problem was I always kept using my 'logic' to avoid those feelings of enthrallment. It had been Booth who told me countless of times what love was, but I always ignored those conversations for my own good. Now, those conversations were going to haunt me until I went insane. It was my turn to be the one to show affection and show a side of myself that I never knew I had. It was time to open up to a man in whom I loved with all my heart.

"Sweetie, I just got done with the sketch on the victim." Angela said entering my office with a slight smile on her face. She was expressing empathy but very careful in the way she talked to me. We were working on a case involving a young boy who's body was found in a local swimming pool. Which I found gross because of all of the dead leaves and slime surrounding the body. I never really liked to work with Perotta, but it looked as if I was stuck with her until Booth regained his memory.

Before she sat down into the chair in front of my desk, she tried to capture my attention swiftly. "Sweetie? Did you hear me?" She questioned slightly as she tilted her head.

I looked up for a spit second and started typing again. I wasn't in the mood for girl talk or work talk right now, but Angela knew how to get me to talk to her though. She sat in the chair quickly and watched me until I glanced back at her again.

"What is it Ange?" I said harshly, but I didn't mean it to sound that way. I was getting slightly irritated with myself in every way possible. Angela's head tilted up in an offensive way which made me bite my lip with remorse. "I'm sorry for sounding a little distant Ange it's just-"

"I know sweetie." She said simply. She raised her hand and touched my arm, showing a slight understanding in the pain I was experiencing. "Sometimes you just have to open yourself up to someone so they can understand what you're feeling."

My eyes shined with a hint of sadness, pain and a large amount of determination lingering deep within them. I did feel lost without Booth being by my side, I did feel like there was a part of myself was missing without seeing him. Through four years of partnership, friendship and respect we've have grown together emotionally. We need each other in order to survive, I just need a little push, that's all.

'He has to remember everything that we've gone through together, he has to remember those challenges we took to get where we were. We really never got along, but are now. He has to remember the kind of person he was, is. He is going to because I'm going to get him back, I'm going to get Booth back.'

"What if I cannot mark those possibilities of making people understand what I am feeling if no one will be patient and listen to me." I said very hastily but directly. I tried with great effort to conceal my tears that were forming in my eyes.

Angela sat in her chair with a small smile on her face, she crossed her legs with forbearance and with empathy. "I'll listen to you Bren, and I am sure everyone else will. But you just have to promise me that you will try to express your emotions and allow yourself show them rather than avoiding them all the time." She said it gently so I wouldn't take it the wrong way.

I reached for a tissue by my computer and let some tears out of my eyes. I raised my head up, looking at the ceiling while making sure I wasn't going to go too far with my emotions. Angela watched me laugh softly to myself while making the effort to ignore those tears. "Bren, just let them go." she said calmly, grabbing a hold of my arm tighter. Our eyes met with an understanding as I finally let my tears go.

Angela must have known how I felt, she must have known how it felt to have someone you love not be able to know your true feelings for them.

She had known that the two were close, very close. She knew that the love that Brennan and Booth shared will spark again even if it meant having your heart being taken from your chest. She sighed while I muttered something. "Ange, what if he doesn't remember me?"

Angela looked at me seriously and reassuringly. "He will remember you if you just let him know you are there for him sweetie. He will know-" She stopped because she wanted Brennan to be the one that expressed her love toward Booth. She didn't want to be the one that told her herself. She knew Brennan was in love with Booth, so maybe she should just be there when she needed someone to talk to. 'Bren should learn what love is by experience, not by me telling her that she does love him.'

"Ange?" I said whipping away tears from my eyes with embarrassment.

Angela's head snapped up as her mouth became dry and her face became blank. "What?"

"He will know what?" I said obliviously. I sort of knew exactly what Angela was referring to. He will know you love him, if you are there for him.

Angela's eyes lit up with excitement as her mind was caught elsewhere. "Booth will know who you are the more you are there for him." She said that so gently that she could see that my eyes light up with a profound destiny, a destiny in getting the Booth I loved back.

I could feel my body become numb, my hands becoming shaky with an uncomfortable desire to let my feelings go out into the open. My lips and tongue became dry, as my tears were coming out so quickly that those feelings couldn't hide any longer. I have to let it out, have to let the pain go. I took a deep breath while my friend's hand was still on my arm firmly. My mind became lost with fear, loss, and sadness and with pity. The only thing I could do was to avoid the feeling of agony and discontent. Booth was still here, and with my help, he was going to remember his life before the events of his memory loss.

'You love me, don't you?' I could hear Booth's voice playing like a song inside my head.

I closed my eyes and discarded those feelings of fear. "What does the victim look like Angela." I said as the walls of my heart were slowly coming down again.

Angela's mouth opened with indifference. 'Did she listen to a word I said??' She took in a deep, sharp breath and showed me the sketch of the latest victim.
xo ox xo ox xo ox xo ox xo ox

Is anyone interested in this story?? I started writing it after the finale but I couldn't bring myself to finish it. The ending was just too much to take, it was heart breaking. So, I hope the majority of you guys like this story. This is not going to be a disappointment like the other one was. I promise. These are my person thoughts of how season five will be like. So, I hope you like it. Reviews will be lovely.