Disclaimer: To start off, I don't own KH or any of it's odd and twisted characters that we've all come to know and love. If I did, I'd be making money and out eating tacos!
Alrighty then, I'm back with a new fanfic! Been a while since I last made a new one and this one I've kept in the back of my mind for FAR TOO LONG! So I needed to let it out into a somewhat humorous story! This fanfic should start out as a sorta timelined story but also keep in its funny depths a several one-shots or little random side stories somewhere in there unless I forget to stick them in there at all, but they should come up so have no fear! The cannibal bear will not eat you!
Now do not fret my fellow strawberry people! This does not mean I will stop working on my fanfics in progress, might be a teeny bit slow, but I will be working on them so don't get mad, get glad!
More A/Ns at the end with some important news on The Day the World Stood Chibi so be sure to check that out as well. So please, do enjoy and be sure to review at the end. Enjoy the trip!
"Hah!" he called as he swung his arm.
"Not so fast!" his partner chased after the object and swung his arm.
The object went back and forth between the two, bouncing over the next between them. It had been a tight game, both boys were panting as they followed with their eyes and attacking it with the object in their hands. The spikey haired blond made quick shots and tried to trick his red haired opponent. His opponent threw back every move that was shot at him, his confidence rising, but quickly dropped like a rock. He had blocked a quick attack on his left and threw it back at his opponent, but the spikey haired blond swiftly smacked it past him while he let his guard down. The ping pong dropped off the table, Axel lost the game.
"I win!" Roxas cheered, throwing his paddle up in the air before it came back down on his head. He didn't care, he was too drunk on the victory of winning.
"Fine, fine" Axel reached down and picked up the ball. As he did it, he reached into his wallet and took out several tiny yellow orbs. How they all fit, he had no idea. "There you go, a twenty munny" he reluctantly gave them to the winner of the game. 'There goes going out for Chinese' he thought to himself and winced.
"Admit it; you love me too much to be mad" Roxas gave him a smile of confidence.
"Yes" Axel blushed and looked to the side. "Well too bad I don't feel the same for you" Roxas stuffed his winnings in his pocket and went to pick up his paddle, leaving Axel to pout behind him. It so did give him the right to be mad, but not too mad. Just then, the intercom beeped and Xemnas' voice came on...
"All Organization XIII members report to the meeting room. I repeat, report to the meeting room. Like, right now!" he called. Roxas and Axel rose an eyebrow. What the hell could he possibly want this time. Every meeting they've had so far had been over house rules and duties and it was getting real annoying, really fast.
"We'd better get going before we miss more on 'how to mop the floor right' or 'how to clean the toilets after using them'" Axel said and waved his arms in a sarcastic manner. Roxas chuckled, even though it wasn't that funny, but he was always up for a joke when it came to Xemnas. Together, they disappeared in their own corridor of darkness.
Those things, are crazy. The moment you enter one, your organs are tossed back as you're thrown into middair. You were either tossed feet or ass first depending on where you were going. Since the duo was going to the meeting room, their asses were dragged first into the air and sped straight to the white light at the end of the tunnel that was their group's crest.
Roxas always got nervous when this happened because he never knew how to make the soft landing his butt could never give him when it came to this. The crest became bigger as he got closer. "Oh crap!" he shouted as he could feel the jolt of pain shoot up his cushion to the rest of his poor heartless body. It wasn't fair! Once his butt touched the crest, his sideways body was turned up into a sitting position and the dark tunnel vanished. He was finally in his chair.
"My poor butt" he whimpered, rubbing his butt and wincing as he looked around the room to see who else was there.
Saix, sat in a chair higher than him, appearing to be the first there since he was such a suckup to Xemnas and probably had a thing for him too. Zexion was in another chair, reading from his lexicon, waiting for the others to show up. Xigbar was also in his chair, slumped down with his butt hanging off while holding onto the arms of his chairs, completely bored. Axel finally appeared in the chair next to Roxas, taking out the pillow from under him.
"Where'd you get that?" Roxas asked as he leaned towards him.
"Stopped by my room at the last meeting and put this here for a soft landing" Axel smirked with pride. He had actually thought ahead. Is the end of the world coming?
"No fair! My butt's getting beat up from all this!" Roxas sat back in his chair and crossed his arms just as everybody else had arrived, excluding Xemnas.
"Where's the leader?" Luxord put his elbow up and laid his head on his hand.
"He better show up. I didn't stop eating my cheesecake for nothing" Larxene growled as she crossed her arms.
"I swear, with all these meetings. What else does Mansex have for us?" Marluxia sighed in annoyance. Immediately after, an inhuman growl came from across the room...from Saix. Everybody in the room immediately sat back in their chairs. Suck up.
"Down here you idiot!" Xemnas' voice called out from below. Everybody looked down to see him waving his arms with a small, but viewable, angry face on his...face.
"You're gonna get it now Marluxia!" Xigbar laughed from his chair.
"Everybody get down here! I've got something to show you!" he called.
Everybody looked up at each other with the look of "srsly" on their face. It had taken a butt beating from most of them to get up to their chairs and now their leader wanted them to drop a mile and a half down to him? He should've told them to be down their in the first place!
Saix jumped down first, arms out and one foot first and landing gracefully. Zexion put away his book in a dark mist and sighed before jumping after him. Lexaeus stood up and also jumped, but being more heftier than the other two, dropped like a truck; his impact shook the whole room. All the rest of them stood up and looked down. There was no way they'd go through another corridor just for that, and no way they were going to jump when they could break their necks. Either way, they were going to get hurt.
"Uh, you girly men!" Larxene huffed nervously and jumped. Unfortunately for her, but fortunate for the others, her coat flew up and her bunny panties were exposed to the men.
"Alright Larxene!" Xigbar called as the other men above whistled at her. Xemnas tried to shy away his blushing face. She blushed as red as a tomato and tried to put her coat down, distracting her from her landing only to make her crash on her legs. Broken? No. As mad and embarrassed as hell? You bet your sweet patootie.
The rest of those above jumped off, screaming at the top of their lungs and praying for dear afterlife that it was not their last jump before crashing into the marble like floor below. Axel and Roxas still stood in their chairs, staring at each other as they waited for one of them to jump. Who would be first to crash-erm, jump? They both looked at how high it was and then back to each other.
"Jump if you jump?" Axel asked, pointing to the ground.
"S-sure" Roxas nodded nervously.
Turning forward and swinging their arms slowly as they watched each other, they crouched down and counted each other off.
"One"
"Two"
"THREE!" Roxas shouted, jumping without noticing Axel didn't jump.
"You bastard!" he yelled as he fell while Axel was laughing above.
"That's for the pingpong game, you butt thing!" Axel laughed as he saw Roxas fall and finally crash. He finally followed after by running off his chair and jumping off, holding his legs and aiming to land on the dirty blond below. At least he would get his soft landing.
"Demyx, look out!" Roxas reached out to him as he rubbed his butt. The blond looked up and saw Axel cannon balling right towards him and began to run around in circles, not exactly sure what to do next. He finally moved a few inches in front of the spot where Axel was supposed to land and sighed in relief. Unfortunately, Axel shot his legs out in front of him and tackled Demyx down in the butt with his boots. "Hah!" he pointed at Roxas.
"Are you quite done?" Xemnas crossed his arms and sighed in annoyance. Axel nodded happily as he stepped off his lower officer.
"Now then, we have a new member today which is the reason I gathered you all here. It just so happens that she is a very special Nobody" Xemnas started.
"She?" Axel whispered in surprise. Another female member?
"That's what you said about Roxas and look at how he turned out!" Larxene pointed to the blonde across from her, who pouted and lifted "the finger" in response.
"Shut up, Number XII. She truley is just as special as Roxas. Now, she's a little shy, so treat her with a little respect, alright?" Xemnas asked, looking behind himself. Roxas squinted and could see a fuzzy red ball floating behind him. 'What the hell?' he thought.
"Meet your new member" Xemnas stepped to the side. From behind his coat was a small girl, holding a Moogle plush tightly in her arms. Her skin was a light dark and her hair a raven black with bangs in her face. Two small orbs of gold peeked from under the bangs. She shook her hips a little bit, shaking the tail of her panda suit a little bit. Standing next to Xemnas, she seemed only to reach his hips. Everybody stared. She held her Moogle tighter in her arms as she felt their eyes on her.
"This is it? This is what you called us here for!?" Larxene pointed. The girl darted behind Xemnas.
"Back off, Larxene! You're scaring her!" Roxas stood up and walked over. "Hi there! Wanna come out?" Roxas called, putting out his hand.
"What's her name, Xemnas?" Saix turned his attention to his leader since the girl had fled to the safety behind him.
"I was unable to make her a name, she seemed to have already named herself; Dirge" he moved to the side again to uncover her again. She began to tremble as if she had been out in the cold for hours, just now coming into warmth.
"Don't be shy. We won't hurt you" Vexen stepped forward and gave a warm smile. Unfortunately for Dirge, it looked like the creepiest smile from some type of perverted man and she shrieked, grabbing onto Xemnas' coat and pulled close to him. Axel, Demyx, and Xigbar burst out laughing.
"Even she thinks you're a creepy old man!" Axel gasped between his laughter.
"Shut up!" the scientist shouted at them and crossed his arms.
Marluxia stepped forward and leaned down, creating a rose in his hand. "A red rose for the lovely girl" he smiled.
She came from behind Xemnas and sniffed it a little before letting out a small sneeze. Marluxia absolutely freaked out.
"How dare you mock the flower! If it wasn't for this, there would be no beauty in the worl-" Marluxia was cut off by Xaldin covering his mouth.
"You can't hide behind there forever" Xemnas looked down to her.
"You probably don't want to. When he breaks wind, you want to run as far as you freaking can!" Axel finally finished laughing after Vexen's attempt. Xemnas stepped threateningly at the unfazed officer and then looked down to the worried and slightly disgusted girl looking up at him. She let him go and scurried over to Roxas. He looked down to her and smiled gently, reassuring that she'd be okay behind him...and that he won't break wind.
"Whatever. Anyways, since Dirge is so young, it will be our duty-" Demyx broke out laughing, "for us to take care of her and train her. Though don't take her appearance lightly, she holds a maginificent power" Xemnas strained to finish past Demyx's break out.
"Great! Babysitting" Luxord mumbled.
"What did I just finish saying you drunk bastard!" Xemnas twitched an eye at him.
Roxas shook his head in shame. Srsly. "Hm?" he felt a tug on his coat. He looked down to see Dirge jumping lightly. He leaned down and smiled. "My name's Dirge. What's yours?" she whispered. Her voice was light and small. "My name's Roxas. And that manic redhead over there," he stopped and pointed at Axel, "is my friend Axel" he turned back to her. A smile formed on her lips. "You're cute" she chuckled. He smiled, he couldn't resist it. She was speaking the truth.
"Oh, and she has to stay with somebody since we don't have any extra rooms at the moment. Axel!" Xemnas picked.
"What?!" Axel screamed. Wasn't expecting that. "Why can't she stay with Larxene? She is a girl after all!" he pointed at the blond witch who shot him back a look.
"You remember that puppy we had a few months ago that we left with Larxene when we went on that trip?" Xemnas crossed his arms again. Axel nodded. "It didn't run away, I found one of Larxene's knives in its chest and its tail ripped off" he answered. Xaldin automatically broke down and started crying out "Poor Chi Chi!" while almost everybody else stared.
"You need to learn to be more responsible anyways. So deal" Xemnas spit his tongue out and disappeared in a dark corridor. Axel started to mumble like crazy and crossed his arms. Everybody else disappeared in a dark corridor, excluding Axel, Roxas, and Dirge, making fun of Axel on their ways out.
"I'd rather have her bunk with me" Roxas smiled down to her. "Then why didn't you say so!" Axel flailed his arms. The Destiny Key shrugged and made a noise that sounded like "I dunno."
"Hey, shortstuff" he looked behind him to the small girl. She peeked from behind Roxas and slowly came forward, "Just how old are you anyway?" he asked. She thought for a minute. "I dunno, 10 I think" she guessed. Axel crossed his arms and tilted his head.
"You don't really remember, do you?" he asked. She shook her head. He sighed.
"Whatever, lets get going" he walked over to her and put his arms out. She fled to Roxas again.
"He's not going hurt you. At least he shouldn't unless he's some type of child mole-" "Roxas!" Axel shot at the laughing blond while blushing a little.
She hesitantly stepped forward and into Axel's arms. He quickly swung her up into his skinny arms, startling her.
Suddenly, something dropped from her shirt.
A/N: Yep, this chapter probably wasn't as funny. I'll try to work on it some more as I go! Dirge is a character I've had in mind for quite some time, but you really can't rearrange her name into something that makes sense. I just kept it that way though it is probably very uncommon for a little girl to have the name Dirge (Peck Peck?).
Random News Report on The Day the World Stood Chibi! : BWHAHAHAHAHAAHA! I am nowhere! Nah, I'm actually in the void where normal things don't happen very often. But down to business! I am pooted out of ideas for now! That's right, my head has become empty for the moment (Writer's Block from Heck!), though I do have an idea for the final world/chapter, I don't think it's appropriate to speed there unless forced to.
Anyways! If you have a world or idea that you think would be cool and funny for the story, let me hear it! I'm open to most and a bundle of ideas as of the moment. You can leave them in a review of this story, The Day the World Stood Chibi, or you can just send them to me as a message. I'll credit you if I use for chapter, so start thinking up some ideas! Please and thank you!