I've been on a Jora kick lately and even though my last Jora fic got like, nothing, oh well. I feel like writing another one. It's sort of inspired by Britney Spears' song "Til the World Ends". I'm dying to make a Jora video with it. You know, once I get clips.

Title: Never Felt Like, Felt Like This Before

Summary: It had been a while since Josh allowed himself to get close to anyone before.

Genre: Romance/Drama

Rating: K+

Characters: Josh and Nora

Pairing: Jora

Never Felt Like, Felt Like This Before

Josh was attracted to blondes. He didn't know what it was about them, he'd just always been a blonde type of guy. Julia had been a blonde, his first ever love before he left. Nora was a blonde. It was just his type. Not to mention both women had been incredibly sweet and loved Josh's awkwardness.

Nora Casing had caught his eye from the very start. She was vivacious, fierce, blonde, and had beautiful eyes. She was everything that Josh had ever wanted before. She'd rebuffed him from the start, but eventually she came around and accepted the awkward advances. She thought they were kind of cute, and Josh wasn't bad looking, either.

There had been doubtful times for Josh if he could even try to pursue a relationship with Nora. Being part werwolf had it's supreme downs. Dating was one of them. She couldn't know who he really was. She couldn't hear his pleasurable growls when they kissed. She couldn't see him one night a month. There was so much damage control that could be done. That had been done.

Josh should have never taken Ray's advice. It was the one thing he'd been trying to avoid all this time. Totally submissing himself to animalistic wants and needs and just charging full force ahead with them. It was the biggest "no" in his book, and he'd done it. In a full blur of motion and thrusting and haziness. Nora hadn't rejected and that's what made it worse. The inside of his head was screaming for him to stop, but his ever nearing change was telling him to go for it. Now he was paying for that one night.

Figuring out how you got your girlfriend pregnant after just one time was beyond Josh's mind. He wasn't even thinking about that. He was more worried about what this baby this...thing would be. Even worse than that, Nora still had no idea about his double life. She had no idea that she could be carrying a potential werebaby. Balancing excitement and fear coursed through Josh's body. He'd always wanted to be a father, and now that it was happening, there was so much he had to think about. More often than not, the fear overtook his excitement. He'd rehearsed over and over again in his head how he could possibly tell Nora about his deep, dark secret. It always went good or bad in his head and the reality of it was that there was no way she would believe him. And even if she did, she would run. No doubt about it. Probably even abort the pregnancy at that. Fear was the very thing that fueled Josh at this point.

The truth of the matter was that Josh had never felt like this with anybody before Julia. He'd been happy then until that horrible run in. That bite had ruined his life, made his parents split up, think he was totally off his rocker, and run away from the only life he'd ever known and loved. He'd been on the path to great things. And now...now it was a never-ending cycle of pain, torture, and curse. Even his love for Nora could sometime stint the thing he called a "life". Since Julia, Josh had never allowed himself to get close to another woman since he'd been bitten. It was amazing even unto himself that he'd allowed himself to get this close to Nora. But there was something special about her. And now that she was carrying his baby...well, things got a little more complicated than they should have been to begin with. Josh knew that there was no turning back now. What was done was done. He had to live with it, dwell on it, and try his best to muddle through. She would find out. Somehow...someway. And when she did, Josh knew that he'd have to cross that bridge and face it all head on.

Until then, Josh basked in the love he had for Nora. What would come would come. Whatever happened, would happen. You could think about it all you want and worry about it everyday until you blue, but until it actually happens, there was nothing anybody could do. The supernatural world was complex. Only few believed it and accepted it. Josh was very doubtful that Nora would be that type of person.

Sleepless nights plagued Josh with nightmares of the pregnancy and birth. Even worse than that were the nightmares of Nora finding out that he was a werewolf. Josh couldn't remember the last time he got a good night's sleep. He doubted if he'd ever get another one of those again for a long time. Every waking nightmare made him want to pick up the phone and call Nora. Just tell her everything. Every single nightmare drove him closer to the edge.

Josh wanted nothing more in the world than to give his entire life to be back to normal. He tried so hard to make his life as normal as he could be. Even as far as getting a girlfriend. But there was nothing he could do to go back to that life. He wanted so badly to have a normal life with Nora. A normal baby. Normal everything. Reality was...that would never happen.

That was the wall that divided Josh from everything he ever wanted.

End

Jay