I did it, I broke up with him. I'd been thinking about it for months, we just weren't working any more, he annoyed me, and I upset him. Why should we stay together, there's no point pretending I could change. Now I have no excuse, I have to sort my life out; lose weight, get a job, focus on studying so I can get good grades. He has completely slipped my mind for the past week since we went on a break, it really showed me how little we're meant to be together. Maybe I should get Tinder, I can experience life like a normal teenager and not feel guilty any more, in a month I'll be 18 and I can go and pick up complete strangers in bars. Have no strings attached sex and not feel responsible for anything. That's the dream. Although of course I'll have to see him again in the future, no matter how much we avoid each other, it's inevitable, he'll take way too long to get over me and it'll just be painful for everyone involved, I never should have dated him in the first place! I mean who dates their fricking step-brother any way. My brother tried to talk my out of it but I guess the stupid heart wants what it wants and ignores common sense and everyone else's good advice.

Anyway, what can I do about it now, it's crashed and burnt and there's no going back, I need to take my mind off this, if I was born a month earlier I would be getting so drunk right now, but sadly I was born when I was born, one day too late to vote in the EU referendum, and years too late to be an alcoholic when I felt I should be. I guess I should talk about my day at school; it was a typical Thursday, double free periods in the morning, then double Psychology where I did my mock paper 2 exam and double Ethics where I spent the whole time avoiding revising for my exam tomorrow morning. It was relatively good weather in that it didn't rain, kind of humid so hopefully the half term will be warm and sunny.

Which reminds me, it's my step-father's birthday the day after tomorrow, so my 3 other step siblings will be coming up; Chloe, Hannah and Charlie. I know my ex has been talking to Hannah about me which makes me more than a little anxious, she can be quite mean when she wants to be. Although to be fair I'm just a kid compared to Mark, I'm sure she'll pity me just as much as him, I might just avoid them and spend the whole day in my room crying, eating my mini roll stash and re-watching my Supernatural DVDs. Which seems like a good enough plan from my point of view, although my mum might not appreciate me abandoning her with the girls (she's not their biggest fan).

I applied for a job the other day, my mum brought me back a job application form when she want to B&Q, apparently they're looking for a part time temp, so I'm not going to get my hopes up, I'm sure loads of people will have gone for the job, although it would be lovely to get some money to go on a holiday with my friends. When I told Mark he said it meant I had to come down and see him in Brighton more, which I didn't particularly fancy, that's where he goes for university and he lives in a house with 3 other people, one of which doesn't really like me. He also only has a single bed which sucks because I hate sleeping on the floor, especially as the guest, but what can you do. Well… I guess I don't have to put up with it anymore, ah well, girls holiday here we come haha (if I get the job that is, fingers crossed).

I can't think of much more to say and my stomach is starting to rumble, so I'll say goodbye for now, and write again soon,

Yours most faithfully, dear diary, love Josie x