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HONESTLY
"You ever wonder, if you made the right choice?"
Finn's words spun into the room that only he and Sami were currently occupying. A flatscreen TV showed Kevin Owens, shouting at the crowd, madder than hell, never surer of what he was doing. The Performance Centre trainers liked it when trainees studied the main roster. Sami was only visiting but Finn might as well have been a permanent resident. Maybe that was why Sami was here.
He always got a little divot between his eyebrows when he watched Kevin on-screen; it was a miracle it didn't stay there permanently. Right now, his fist was tight up against his chin, his eyes riveted to the screen. Maybe that was why he was visiting too; distance (making the heart grow fonder).
Even now, at Finn's words that couldn't be misunderstood, not by Sami, Sami's eyes stayed trained on Kevin.
"Honestly..."
That could be Sami's answer in full. Finn's stomach growled and he wished he had a fistful of Lego to turn over, to click together in ways that always made sense. When everything else ran in uncontrollable patterns, like Finn's life had been for weeks now, he could create another spaceship. He could always create.
Now his fingers drummed against his thighs, beating out future designs and yawning hunger, a warning.
"Coming here was never a mistake," Sami said, as though he was physically laying out the words, checking them, nodding at their placement. "It never will be."
Finn nodded. Yeah, it never would be a mistake for either of them. They'd both been NXT Champion, they'd both pushed themselves and they'd both had matches they were really proud of and that the company had loved. NXT had been a breath of fresh air, motivating and inspiring. It had gotten their work out to people who hadn't ever seen them wrestle before. There was nothing to regret there.
On TV, Kevin was stalking up the ramp. He didn't even look at the camera but something in Sami's posture changed, like maybe Kevin was thinking about him and Sami knew it. Finn had that feeling too; he got it whenever Luke and Karl were on Raw.
"Some things aren't choices though," Sami stated as Kevin finally disappeared.
Kevin had come to NXT, as a friend apparently, and Sami had accepted that, even though Kevin had screwed him over so many times before. Because Sami had an open heart and a love for Kevin that was as strong as the hate he could have for his old friend too. Just as Kevin had both for Sami. He'd never denied that, not once.
The demon always said that the two of them stank. He didn't have to elaborate; Finn knew.
He also knew that honestly, Sami was glad. Because Kevin was here, in the WWE, with Sami. Sami and Kevin did their best work together, locked in that pain. Sami still watched Kevin and Kevin probably still watched Sami. Maybe, it was like they didn't make complete sense without each other, not anymore. All right, more than maybe.
Finn had been brought up and trained to believe that everything was a choice, that a person should make their own opportunities. That was how the Bullet Club had formed in the first place. But seeing Sami and Kevin...the demon had watched them through Finn's eyes, murmuring about being consumed.
Finn knew all of that, because Luke and Karl were here now, making friends with AJ. Finn had talked to them a lot on the phone, their voices mixing with his, hunger running through him, something clicking together perfectly. The feeling of that, the relief. He didn't owe AJ any loyalty; the demon had never liked the look of him.
Karl and Luke had known Finn better than anyone else in Japan. They'd known the demon too. They'd been there when he'd first started to emerge. The demon had liked them, still did, even after Finn's exile. They'd talked about it months ago, of course they had. All the demon had cared about was its relentless hunger.
It talked constantly about Luke and Karl, about an easy choice, how long it'd been. But Joe had the NXT title and Finn wanted it back. He wanted revenge too. The demon could understand that, rage and determination that burned; and that desperate need. But now, it reminded Finn, they weren't powerfully overcoming, were they? Joe had the title and Finn had learned before what to do when he needed something and not even the demon could get it for him. Bring more, bring them all. How could he forget that lesson?
And he was hungry, wasn't he? For how good success had tasted hunting in that pack and what better way afterwards to claw onto the fresh hunting ground of the main roster where prizes were more numerous and ripe? Where there was so much more to feed on? Where they belonged.
The NXT fans lifted Finn, that wave of support was amazing to ride. He'd felt few pure highs like it. But Bullet Club, saying fuck you to everyone on the outside, focusing on doing what they wanted, taking instead of waiting in line, pleasure seeking, that was a different high. It wasn't pure at all. It'd gotten Finn properly noticed; it'd brought him to the WWE. It'd brought AJ, Karl and Luke. It'd bring others too, if they ever accepted the WWE's offers.
God, the hunger for it.
The demon, and Finn, hungered for that old time, that phase, the people he'd stood beside, the view from that height. It'd been too long. Sometimes Finn felt guilt, about who would be left behind, and the fans. The demon never felt that. And increasingly Finn didn't either, feeling far more hunger and absolute certainty, and the demon grinned.
Think of all they'd accomplished before, how they could spin that higher now. Think of how they could feast. How so much more would click together.
Sami was actually looking at him now. The divot was still there between his eyebrows and there was a look on his face like terrible understanding and even worse acceptance. Maybe he saw how the demon flickered to the forefront and smiled, curling Finn's lips in a way only the demon did. The demon knew what it wanted, what Finn did too. It was impatient, wasn't Finn? Hadn't they waited long enough? Didn't the fans want this too? Wouldn't the children grow and understand? That was what children did.
The fact was that, if Finn was honest, as the demon was, Finn wasn't always Sami in this scenario.
Some things really weren't choices, were they?
-the end