"I have a bone to pick with you," Monica said as she waltzed unannounced into Apartment 19, wrinkling up her nose at the somewhat messy state it was currently in.
She was feeling pretty confident about herself at the moment, thanks to Joey. After initially balking at their "firing" plan because of the big tips he'd made that night, he'd finally let her terminate him after she ended up in the freezer, covered in marinara sauce.
The night turned around pretty quickly after that, her staff all afraid of getting fired themselves. On a high from successfully throwing her weight around once already that evening she thought she'd address the other issue that was bugging her.
Half asleep, a somewhat startled Chandler snapped off the TV with the remote control and twirled around in his barcalounger.
"OK," he said as he slowly stood up, observing the somewhat cocky expression on her face. "What's…up?"
She walked over to him, crossing her arms over her chest, and it was his turn to wrinkle his nose.
"Geez, Mon, go a little heavy on the spice there, did ya?" he said, waving a hand in front of his face.
"Wha..?" she started, then rolled her eyes. "No, I…ugh! It's marinara sauce. It fell on me when I was locked in the freezer. I thought I got all of it…"
She began to tug at the ends of her hair, checking for pasta sauce residue as he smirked at her.
"Firing didn't work, huh?"
"Oh, no, it did," she said, a little grin on her face. "This happened before."
"Ah," he nodded. "So I can assume Joey's back to his normal state, unemployed and broke?"
"Yep," she said, somewhat distracted by the trace of marinara she found on her fingers. She walked over to the kitchen sink, Chandler taking a couple steps across his living room to follow her. She turned on the faucet with her elbow then looked around helplessly for soap. She turned to Chandler.
"Are ya kidding me?" she asked, incredulous as she rinsed her hands. He shrugged.
"So what's this bone you've got to pick or should I even ask?" he said, handing her a questionably clean towel as he sat on a bar stool. She lightly dried her hands off, a touch of disgust on her face.
"Rachel."
"Rachel?"
"Yeah," she said, folding the towel perfectly on the countertop in front of him.
"And…what about Rachel?" he asked, gesturing for her to continue.
"Well, she was all giddy about her date before I left for work," she shrugged, looking down at the towel. "You know, the one with the guy you set her up with."
"The lion tamer?" he said dramatically, with a little grin.
She smirked at him.
"The guy in the fine foods division," she said. "Which, by the way, you probably hire chefs for."
"Data processing, Mon," he said, shaking his head. "Numbers in numbers out, no food."
"Oh," she said, gnawing her bottom lip a moment, then she waved her hand. "That's not my point anyway."
"And what would that be exactly?" he asked, cocking his head to the side for emphasis, ready to get past whatever had caused all the "bone picking-ness." Monica crossed her arms and shrugged up her shoulders.
"She was going on and on about your great taste in men," she said as Chandler rolled his eyes. "Well? You were the one who set her up…"
"That's been established," he said, confused, "but, ya know it didn't work out, right?"
Monica's eyes opened wide and she dropped her shoulders.
"No, I…" she started. "I was at work. Wait, it didn't?"
"Nope, he…uh, dumped her," he said, his face turning a little pink as he recalled Rachel coming into his apartment with a "bone to pick" with him earlier in the evening. Eh, at least they had fun at the hockey game, he thought.
"Oh," Monica said, a tad shocked and feeling more than a little guilty now. She looked around a moment before asking. "Is she OK? I mean, ya know, she's not too used to being dumped."
She gave him a knowing smile, which he returned as he popped a peanut into his mouth.
"Oh, I think so," he said, with a little nod, picking up a few more from the bowl next to the towel. Monica followed suit.
"What happened?" she asked, eager for a little gossip as she crunched down on her snack, but Chandler just shrugged.
"He scares easy, apparently," he said quickly, hoping she wouldn't ask him to elaborate.
"Oh my," she said, a little grimace on her face.
"Yeah," Chandler said, popping another peanut in his mouth. "We went to the Rangers game and drank a little. I think she felt better when we got back."
"You took Rachel to a Rangers game?" she asked, raising her eyebrow skeptically. Chandler shrugged.
"I had tickets in the company suite, so she didn't have to watch much hockey and the alcohol was free, so…" he said, a cheeky grin on his face.
"Ah, part of your 'win-a-date-with-Rachel' stash?"
"Yep," he said. He eyed Monica closely as she shrugged up her shoulders again. Then she fiddled nervously with the towel again, refusing to look him in the eye.
"OK, Mon, what is it?" he sighed.
"Well, I mean, I've been single a while now, too, ya know," she said, still shrugging, still not looking at him. "Why didn't you offer to set me up?"
Chandler's jaw fell to the floor.
"You have got to be kidding!"
"No," she said with a little whine, her face turning pink.
"Seriously," he said, his eyes wide, a disbelieving smirk on his face. "Tell me you're joking."
She put her hands on her hips and glared at him.
"No, I'm not joking," she said, starting to get a little ticked off. "If you know all these great single guys…"
"Oh oh oh, wait just a minute," he interrupted, a look of bemused disbelief frozen on his face as he jumped up off the bar stool. "If I recall, I was told not too long ago that I didn't fit the 'boyfriend material' criteria for you…"
"Oh, come on, Chandler…" she said, with a wave of her hand.
"Oh, no," he said, waving a finger at her, "no, no, no! That's what you said. So, clearly, I have no clue what you're looking for in a guy. So, no, I'm not gonna fall down that rabbit hole."
"What…'rabbit hole'?" she said, confused.
"Setting you up," he said, a smirk now planted firmly on his face. "No way. Not gonna do it."
"OK, fine!" she said quickly, throwing up her hands, more than a little aggravated with him.
"Fine!" he repeated, not quite sure if she was really mad at him or not. They were both quiet for a moment, not looking at each other, both of them with their arms crossed in front of them.
"It's late," Monica finally said, sighing. "I probably need to head home and see if Rachel's still awake."
"OK," he said, as he followed her to the door. "Hey, for what it's worth, it didn't work out and so, ya know, I'm probably not that good at playing matchmaker anyway. You may have dogged a bullet there."
He grinned at her.
"Maybe," she said, grinning back at him. "Oh, and for the record, I know at least one woman who believes you're definitely 'boyfriend material.'"
Chandler's eyes turned soft and his grin deepened underneath the sudden blush on his cheeks, and in that moment Monica thought he was adorable. Being in love looked really good on him.
"I hope so," he said softly as he opened the door for her.
Monica smiled.
"Kathy's crazy about you," she said, patting his arm as his smile deepened.
"Ah…maybe she's just crazy," he joked.
Monica shook her head at his self-deprecating humor.
"Night, Chandler," she said as she walked across the hall.
"Night, Mon," he called as he closed the door.
Monica walked into her dark apartment. Rachel's bedroom door was closed, so she walked over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. She opened it and glanced toward the guys apartment. As she fiddled with the bottle cap between her fingers she sighed and grudgingly had to admit it was looking like Chandler Bing made for pretty good "boyfriend material" after all.
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NOTE: Because I already have this well underway on my laptop, and because I probably won't be able to write any "new" Mondler updates for quite a while, I decided to start to post this new story before I'm done with Seasons Change. This contains a lot of in-canon, S4 "missing scenes" up until it doesn't - and you guys will know exactly when I veer into AU territory. They'll be a good reason for it when it happens, but it won't be for a while.
This idea has been on my radar a very long time, so I hope you enjoy it!
And, please, let me know what you think... :) Thank you!