Hi guys! Okay so this is my first fanfiction and I would love to hear your thoughts on it! I'm new to this so don't really know what to expect. I have a few ideas in mind for this story so hopefully, if supported enough, will turn out to be a great one!
Love always, Jess xx
Setting
Chicago, 2011. The city is split into 5 factions to keep the peace. Each faction contributes into helping control a different aspect of the city, all 5 factions working together to help the city run smoothly. When the children of each faction turn 11, they must attend a faction school, in which volunteers from each faction come and teach the children about their ways and traditions. When the children reach the age of 16, they must attend the choosing ceremony and choose their faction.
Chapter 1
The iron gates loomed above me, each of the faction symbols standing out brightly against the black bars. The first one I noticed was the blue eye of Erudite staring down on me, the way it had been for the past 11 years. There was always something cold about that eye, the way it always seemed to judge you whenever you saw it – almost as if it belonged to the cold but powerful leader of Erudite – Jeanine. I felt a shiver run up my spine. I knew that eye always represented more than just a faction but I could never put my finger on it. Power? Hatred?
Next to the Erudite symbol was the bright orange flames of Dauntless. I'd always envied the Dauntless, how they could run through the streets and seemed to not have a care in the world. The brave, fearless, reckless. I remember being a kid and being able to run through the streets of Erudite with them until my legs couldn't run anymore. I loved that feeling of recklessness, the feeling I could conquer the world with them – it made me feel fearless. Fearless of my upbringing, fearless of them, of what they thought of me. I knew I could never be one of the dauntless, my parents made sure of that.
Followed by dauntless was the soft grey hands, representing the selfless abnegation, then the red tree to represent the kind natured Amity, and finally the weighing scales to represent the brutal but honest Candor.
The 5 symbols seemed to glare down at me, each one screaming down at me to come to them, to choose them at the end of the 5 years. I start to feel slightly uneasy and feel as though I'm about to faint. Someone must notice because I feel a large hand on my arm pull me straight and steady me. By instinct, I flinch and stumble away, turning round, ready to face my attacker. Instead I am greeted by a skinny middle aged man, wearing worn, grey clothes that seem to hang off his skinny frame. He wore a kind smile but had a tired and worn face, yet stood proud and tall.
"Woah kid, calm down." He smiled reassuringly
"Oh, er, sorry." I stutter
"Don't worry kid, it's not all as big and bad as it seems."
I acknowledge his kind words and give him a nod of thanks. He leads me through the gates and towards the large, brown building. I can see from across the grass students from all 5 factions, the ones from Amity have long flowing hair and flowing clothes, the ones from Candor are l dressed smartly in black and white, the Abnegation students dressed in worn, baggy clothes – almost all of them grey. The dauntless are dressed in black clothes, mostly black jackets and heavy boots, even though it still is technically summer. All the Erudite, like me, are dressed in smart blue suits and dresses, clearly suffering from the heat more than others.
"So are you an Abnegation Tutor?" I ask, hoping he would be. It would be nice to know someone before I enter the building.
The man lets out a small chuckle. "No kid, I'm Andrew Prior, the caretaker." He paused for a moment, looking like wanted to say something but hesitating. "So do you have a name, or do I call you kid?" Andrew smiled.
I hesitated. My parents had always told me to be cautious around people didn't know, but I felt like I already knew Andrew. There was just something about him that was so open. Like he made you feel like you could tell your deepest, darkest secrets to him and he wouldn't judge or hate you. I could tell he was going to be someone I could trust.
"Eric" I said, "Eric Coulter."
Thank you for reading! I really hope this story takes off but I guess we'll seeJ. Like I said before please tell me your thoughts on this! Any comments, suggestions? Thanks again!
Love always, Jess xx