Settling on a barstool, I asked for a water when the bartender asked what I wanted. It had been a long, stressful few days. We'd gotten to London and gotten on the first cargo plane of Oswald's available. Then the funeral planning had started, and now it was finally over. Everyone was now gathered in the clubhouse. I had helped Gemma and Lyla with the planning, and had helped set up for the wake today. I just needed a few minutes off my feet, which were hurting from the heels I was wearing. I sipped my water and surveyed the room, where everyone was clustered about, sharing memories and stories of Opie.
A few minutes later, I headed back to the kitchen to help Gemma, who was setting up the buffet table. I made a plate for Lyla and took it to her as Gemma announced that everyone else could form a line to get food. She was sitting on one of the couches, holding Parker, but staring at nothing, lost in thought. I set the plate on a coffee table in front of her, and picked Parker up out of her arms. "I'll take him and feed him and then put him down for a nap. You need to eat," I told her and the corners of her mouth lifted in a ghost of a smile as she thanked me.
After getting some food that Parker could eat, I went to one of the dorm rooms and fed him, then laid with him until he fell asleep for his afternoon nap. I moved him to a playpen so he wouldn't roll off the bed, and then placed the baby monitor next to him, taking its counterpart with me when I left the room. I headed back over to Lyla, handing it to her. "He's out for the count. Second bedroom to the left. Is there anything else I can do for you right now? Or at all?" I asked her, taking the seat next to her as I scanned the room for my husband. I had been trying to let him have some time with the rest of the club members, from our charter and others, but I wanted to check in with him, and probably go check with Gemma to make sure she didn't need me to do anything.
For my own sanity, I liked to keep busy in situations like these. I wanted to do everything I can to help, and keeping myself busy kept me from focusing on my feelings, so I could be strong for those who needed me. I gave Lyla a hug when she said she couldn't think of anything for me to do right now, and then went off in search of Gemma first. I couldn't spot my husband inside, so I figured he was outside, so I'd go check on Gemma and then head outside to see him. I found Gemma in the kitchen as expected, and she told me there was nothing for me to do at the moment, so I headed outside, slowing to say something to someone every now and again, but never stopping.
As soon as I caught sight of him I felt the familiar butterflies, even though I could only see his back. I was glad that he could still incite the same feelings in me that he had when I was fifteen, despite the fact that we'd been apart 8 years in the interim. I fell for him just as hard a year ago as I had when I was fifteen, and I loved him even more now than I had then, and I knew it was never going to change. We had been through so much to get to this point, and I knew neither of us were going to let anything separate us again. We were meant to be together. I had known that when I was a teenager, and I knew it even more so now.
Coming up beside him, I snaked an arm around his waist, leaning my head on his chest. He was standing with Chibs, Tig and someone from another charter whose name I couldn't remember at the moment. I had met a lot of club members yesterday and today as they'd all come for the funeral. There were members from all our various charters. I couldn't remember the names of every single person I'd met, even though I was usually good with names. I didn't interrupt their conversation, but Juan placed a kiss on the top of my head, his arm wrapping around me and holding me close to his side.
Unable to really summon the energy to say much, I just listened as the guys talked, trying to keep up with the conversation, but mainly getting lost inside my own head. I still couldn't believe Opie was gone. We didn't know much more now than we had when we'd gotten the call, while we were still in Europe. Opie was killed while at the clubhouse. He had been here alone, so no one knew exactly what had happened. Juan was keeping me updated, but so far Jax didn't have any firm leads. His plan was to find out who'd done it, get revenge, and get us out of our illegal ventures. He-and every other club member and their family and loved ones-were tired of people dying.
Honestly, I had a feeling things would get messy before they got any better. I was worried, for Juan, for all of SAMCRO, for anyone related to the club. I didn't have anything to base the fear on but gut instinct, so I hadn't said anything to anyone, yet. I didn't want to worry anyone else unnecessarily. I'd just keep going with the flow and taking whatever happens as it happens. I would just have to trust that everything would work out the way it was meant to. And, likely, hold my breath any time Juan went on any type of run or errand for the club. I would have to trust that he could take care of himself, and that the other members could take care of themselves too. I'd grown to love all of them. I didn't want to lose any of them.
After a few minutes of gathering strength and comfort from my husband, I decided to go check on my best friends, since I hadn't seen them in a while. I was tall enough in my heels that I didn't have to stretch too far to place a kiss on Juan's cheek, despite the fact that he's more than 6 inches taller than me. I murmured that I was going to look for Brie and Skye, gave both Chibs and Tig a hug, and then started moving through the crowd again. I spotted them fairly quickly, heading over to the swing set where they were. Wendy was holding Kallie. Brie and Skye were each sitting on a swing as Thomas and Abel were taking turns going on the slide. I'd seen Tara inside trying to comfort Jax.
Both Brie and Skye rose and I walked into a sort of 3-way hug. I took a deep breath before pulling back, glancing over my shoulder at Chibs before looking back at Brie. "You might want to check on him. I know you've been giving him space like I've been giving Juan some space, but he asked about you when I was over there a minute ago," I told her and she nodded before walking over there. I sank onto her swing, and Skye sat back down on the one she'd been on. "I'm," I paused, not wanting to lie. "I'll be alright. I keep busy to keep the demons at bay," I told the two, and Skye just nodded. She knew how I was.
After another moment or two, I left them alone, and headed back inside. Gemma was refilling some of the foods on the buffet table, so I started helping her do that. That actually kept me busy for about half an hour, maybe 45 minutes. I was standing in the kitchen when Juan came to find me. "How are you doing, wife?" he asked, opening his arms and I stepped forward into a hug that was just as much for me as it was for him. I didn't need to say anything, I buried my face in the crook of his neck and he rested his cheek on top of my head and we just stood like that for a minute, wrapped in each other.
Pressing a kiss to his neck, I leaned back, still keeping my arms wrapped around him, and looked up into his eyes, trying to see how he was doing. I stretched up to place a kiss on his lips. "I love you so much for asking, but you know me. I'll be fine. How are you doing?" I asked him, and his answer was just to pull me into another hug. I got the message. He just wanted to hold me for a while. I figured we could both use it, so I led him to the dorm room we usually slept in and he laid on the bed. I kicked off my heels before climbing in with him, curling up to his side, hoping he might fall asleep. He hadn't really been sleeping well. I wasn't either, but I was used to that, so I was more worried about him.
For a while I listened to his heartbeat and even breathing after he drifted off. I was planning on waiting until he was in a deep enough sleep that I could slip away and leave the room without him noticing it, but before I could do that, I fell asleep as well. I was the one who woke up to an empty bed a little while later. I was surprised he'd managed to get out from under me without waking me up, but simply stretched and slipped my feet back into my heels before going to find him. My phone was in my purse somewhere in the kitchen, so I wasn't sure how long I'd been asleep.
When I left the hallway and entered the main room of the clubhouse, I saw that there were still people gathered for the wake, though it was mainly our charter and their Old Ladies. A pipe was being passed around and I took it from Happy as I sat between him and Juan. I took a deep hit and then passed it on, waiting for my husband to take a hit and pass it on as well before I curled into his side. "How long did I sleep? And why didn't you wake me when you got up?" I asked him lowly, examining the circle. Jax, Rat, Tig, Chibs, Happy, Quinn and Juan composed the group here, so I figured the women were cleaning up the kitchen.
Draping an arm around my shoulders, he kissed the top of my head. "I literally just came out here a couple of minutes ago. I guess we slept for a few hours or so," he answered. I nodded, waited for the pipe to come around to me again and took another hit before getting up, letting him know I was going to go find the women and see what I can do. I found them all in the kitchen, Gemma, Tara, Skye, Brie, Wendy, Lyla, Venus and Brooke. I washed my hands before I started helping them as they put all the leftovers away.
A little while later, Lyla was ushering the kids into the car so she could get them all home, and I walked her out. I asked her again if she needed anything and I could tell she was about to cry again as she said she had no family here and was thinking of moving to be closer to her family. "Hey, hey, hey. This is your family. We all love you, and I know any of us would be happy to help you out. Anything you need. You know my number. You call or text me any time, day or night. You don't have to go anywhere," I assured her, pulling her into a hug. She nodded against my shoulder, but didn't say anything else before getting in the car and leaving. I watched her car disappear before heading inside.
A/N: Here's the first chapter. I hope I still have readers after Opie's death. I really feel bad about it, but that's how it wrote itself. Please read and review. I'll try to post again this weekend. Thanks to everyone who's stuck with this series as it's progressed and I hope you stick with it till the end.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.