45. Waiting.
"Oh sorry, didn't realise anyone else would be up here." I waved them off, sliding my phone back in my pocket.
"It's fine, it's not like I own the building," I muttered with a yawn, turning to see the new comer. It was a guy from the design department, I'd seen him a few times, his red hair easy to spot but I'd never spoken to him before.
"You're in accounting right?" he asked, moving to stand besides me, cigarette in hand.
"Do you mind?" I waved him off, saying it didn't bother me at all. With an emotionless grin he fished out his lighter, I watched him light it up before answering.
"Yeah, you're the liaison for your department. My desk is near the head's office so I see you whenever you drop off budget papers and such. I'm Starrk by the way." I held out my hand in greeting, the red head looked surprised for a second before gripping my hand, surprising me in return by how rough it was.
"Ichigo, yes the higher ups decided that it was time for a change after Hiyori had a go at your boss for something." I nodded remembering the incident, I was the one to go in and separate them.
"The little blonde was attempting to slap him with her sandal, it was an interesting situation to say the lest." I chuckled at the memories, looking over at my companion, Ichigo was staring out at the other buildings. Something about his stare made me want to drag him away from the roof top, his was going through the motions but there seemed to be no emotion behind anything. Normally I wouldn't bother a stranger about personal matters but it seemed like he needed it.
"Are you okay?" Ichigo looked genuinely startled at my words.
"I don't mean to pry and trust me I hate putting extra effort into anything but it looks like the light's are on but no one is home and it's sort of scaring me." At my words he started laughing, nothing was jovial about it, it was just sad. I took a half step back, waiting for the mania to come to a stop.
"You've got me there," he muttered, flicking his cigarette butt of the roof.
"I'm okay, not in the way everyone else is. I've been waiting for something to happen and I just got the call."
"Is there something I can do? I don't mind listening to anything you might have to say if it will help in the slightest," I offered. He glanced at me briefly before fixing his stare back out to the city sky line.
"I've been working at this company for close to 20 years, since the day I graduated high school. I've just handed in my resignation letter. Last month I called all my utility companies and cancelled all my accounts, paying the last month in advance. My house which I've actually owned for maybe the last 6 years just sold, the new tenants will be moving in, in just over 5 weeks. I just got a call from the woman who is adopting my dog, she just picked him up from the kennel, her kids adore him. All my good bye letters have been sent out. I didn't mean to make him wait so long but I just couldn't stand the thought of having someone else deal with all this once I left. It just didn't seem fair." All the warning signs were going off in my head now, the way he spoke didn't make it seem like a holiday or a move to another country. It was the fact that he said he'd made some one wait for him that sort of redeemed this story.
"Who's waitng for you?" I asked, praying that he would say his partner had moved to another country and he was settling all his affairs in order to follow them.
"My husband, he died recently. A work accident." Oh fuck.
"Oh," I muttered, a rather pathetic answer, "I'm sorry for your loss."
"That's not what I was expecting but thank you. " I shrugged.
"Your mind seems pretty made up and I'm just a stranger, I could try if you like. You have other loved one's in your life, like family and friends. Are they not enough?" That got a genuine laugh out of him, it sounded tired but jovial unlike before. He sighed, turning away from the city, leaning up against the ledge.
"I thought that too in the beginning, but as time went on it became clear just how important he was to me. My reason for living. I went through this long process to have the time to back out but the further I got the relieved I felt about what I was doing." I nodded, understanding him. Sometimes it was just too hard to keep fighting, when the reason to fight was gone. There was always other options but sometimes they just weren't enough. I didn't consider it to be a sign of weakness, it took a strong person to do this.
"Thank you though Starrk," he said, abruptly pulling me from my thoughts. Ichigo was sitting on the railing now.
"Your welcome Ichigo, I wish you wouldn't, you seem like an interesting guy." He really did from the few glimpses I'd had in the office and this chat.
"I was, not anymore." I held out my hand once more, he looked confused but grasped it anyways.
"It was nice meeting you Ichigo," I said, shaking it for what I knew would be the final time.
"A pleasure meeting you as well Starrk."
"Good luck, hopefully he won't be too mad at you for doing this."
"He will be but I just can't wait anymore."