A/N- Woo! First Harry fic! Yay! PLEASE REVIEW!

Disclaimer- Yeah, I own Harry Potter. And Chuck Norris.

Harry James Potter had stolen a Moonpie.

Why, you may ask, is this such a terrible thing? Delicious Moonpies might be, but there is nothing special about them, other than the fact that they taste like heaven.

In the Potter household, that's exactly why it is dangerous to have one in your possession.

When Ginny bought Moonpies, all hell would break loose. They must be kept under strictest confidence, and protected by numerous spells. Why, you ask? You are about to find out.

It was eleven at night, and Harry Potter sat alone in the living room. The kids were in bed, Ginny was asleep. To Harry, this was a perfect opportunity to enjoy a delicious, double-Decker chocolate Moonpie. He slowly unwrapped the wrapper and-

"Daddy?"

Harry stashed the Moonpie in his pocket. "What's wrong, sweet Lily?" he whispered comfortingly.

The little girl rubbed her eyes. "I had a bad dream. There were monsters everywhere, and it was scary."

He embraced his youngest child and gently stroked her hair. "It's ok, sweetheart. You know there's no such thing as-"

"Daddy?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

She looked at him curiously. "You smell like Moonpie."

Harry panicked. "No, I don't!"

Too late.

Innocent little Lily tore towards her brothers' room, screaming, "Daddy has Moonpie! Daddy has Moonpie!"

James and Albus bolted upright. "Let's get him!" James yelled, charging out of the room. Albus and Lily shot after him.

Harry's eyes widened in horror at the sight of his children running towards him, full speed ahead. "No! My Moonpie!" he bellowed, and darted out of the room.

"Follow him!" Albus cried. The kids followed not far behind.

"What's going on?" Ginny called sleepily from the top of the stairs."

Harry stopped, and yelled, "Nothing, honey! All is good!"

"There he is!" a voice called from behind him. He turned around, and immediately got tackled by a mass of screaming children.

"I've got the Moonpie!" Lily cried, waving it around.

It was unwrapped and violently devoured by the writhing, hungry kids.

Harry lay still on the floor, twitching occasionally. Ginny walked down the stairs to him, smirking.

She whispered in his ear, "Remember what I said about bringing Moonpies in the house?"

"Yes…."

"Will you ever do it again?"

"Hell, no!"

For the safety of yourself and Harry, never bring Moonpies to the Potter children.

Or, perhaps, if you are unusually sadistic, it would be great entertainment for the rest of us.

A/N- Yes, this is what happens when a story comes to you while eating a Moonpie.

-nodnodnod- First Harry fic! Please review and tell me if I suck!