I was bored and wanted to write a crack fic about nothing but it includes some characters so…. Enjoy my Hayley Bailey….. Che… Loser…. !

Hayley and I lay in her bed talking about today's events, Hayley currently explaining how she's never seen a real horror movie and that Orphan was really creepy.

"I really wanna watch it again! I'm not your fuckin' mother!" she pretends to kick the little sycho girl in the face, breaking her neck. This made me laugh hysterically and add more onto this joke.

"I love you daddy! I'm going to draw naked pictures of us having sex on my walls cause I'm not actually 12!" My Russian accent wasn't the best but at least it made Hayley laugh, so I was satisfied. After yelling at her labra doodle, Argus, for crushing my uterus with his giant ass paws, I changed the topic. "So, what did you think of Children of the Corn? I saw you drooling over Malachai the whole movie…"

"Ok, Indy, I was NOT drooling. I was simply admring the fact that he was a sexy ginger when my saliva fell out of my mouth!" Hayley was so full of shit right now. She was totally drooling like I was over Micah in the second movie. It was just weirder for me because my cousins name was Micah and he was really really short and thin.

"Whatever, Hayls...

"I wish that the cult thing was real cuz I would totally rape Malachai and join all of them and stuff…." The brunette pet Argus some and then turned to face me with a smirk.

"Oh my god…." I winced at her crazy thoughts. "Me too! I mean if Micah came up to me and was all like 'join our cult child and worship the corn', I would rape him, kiss him, join him, and kill my parents. Not necessarily in that order….

"Yay, biddie!" Hayley and I squealed.

"Oh, pass me another brownie? Just don't tell my mom that we ate them ok? Say that Argus and Danny got to them so we had to throw them out." I handed her the strange tasting yet awesome brownies and nodded. I wasn't in the mood to get in trouble for being a brownie stealer so lying was a go for me.

After another ten million minutes of chatting about everything and eating the strangely intoxicating brownies, we fell asleep…

I yawned and stretched my arms out wide. Damn, I was so cold but I guess it was because Hayley stole the blanket yet AGAIN! I reached for the blanket all around me but grabbed nothing but- wait, what the hell was that? I played the guessing game with myself but after failing miserably, I opened my dark brown eyes to the world around me….

"Ahhhhh….." I half heartidly screamed looking at the tall corn surrounding me. Hayley was no where to be found but I did see what was holding onto. It was a piece of Mikele's stale burnt brick cake! That was what really caused me to scream and throw the cake as far away as possible.

"Oi, Indy!" I turned to the sound of Hayley's voice to my right. There she stood clad in a billabong bathing suite holding Malachai's hand. This was soooo weird….

"Holy shit, Hayley, am I dreaming?" I stood and looked down at my own body. Five minutes ago I was wearing my jamies but now I was wearing that damn bunny suite that Hayley dressed me up in for that Hunger Games story! That bitch…. I did like the white fluffy tail though…

"Nope, you're in Gatlin, Nebraska! You gonna worship Isaac or what cuz I'm getting married to Malachai because he's a ginger and has no soul and stuff….." she let go of the smiling red head's hand and put an arm around my shoulder. Yup, I was dreaming, so why not go along with it?

"Sure….." I rubbed my eyes and we were in the middle of the clearing with like 50 other children. "Woah, I think those brownies on the counter that your mom told us not to eat where actually pot brownies…." I stated but it didn't sound like my voice. Why? Because I was now Hayley and Hayley was now me.

"This is weird…." Hayley- well I looked down to my extremely big boobs. How did this girl not fall over from the weight of them? The world may never know.

"So, I gave your mom the stuff for Panama in April." India was now a cheese puff kid. Like the albino from Epic Movie, but not as creepy looking. Why the hell wasn't I creeped out? Malachai just continued to stroke my butt like nothing was wrong.

"Cool. It's fun being white you know! I feel like I'm whole now…." Shit, I wasn't Hayley anymore. The moment I said that, I was back to my normal self but no one was around me like in Gatlin. I was in some really messed up version in of my house and Byakuya was sitting on my couch naked. FUCK YEAH, RAPE TIME! I walked over to him slowly when he smiled. I was so gonna enjoy this. The moment I touched his perfectly chiseled body, he turned into Mr. Meyer but without the nakedness. MR. MEYER RAPIST WAS IN MY DREAM! I began to scream my innocent little head off.

"You won't rape me! You won't rape me! You won't rape me!" I said repeatedly trying to run away but in dream land it's like walking in slow mo.

"D-I-N-O-S-A- You are a dinosaur! D-I-N-O-S-A- You are a dinosaur! And O-L-D-M-A-N You're just an old man, hittin' on me what? You need a CAT scan!" the pedophile teacher began singing. That was the last song I wanted to hear before being raped! Mr. Meyer tackled me to the ground.

"Nooooooooooooo!" I shot up suddenly and hit heads with Hayley, who was trying to shake me awake. Sweat poured down my face, but I was as cold as a mug. (that's a term in my school)

"Ow, wtf India? You suck!" Hayley rubbed her now soar head as I pet her head like a dog.

"Sorry, biddie. I had the weirdest dream!"

"I know! You were all like 'oh, Bya-blah blah you're so sexy' then you were like 'You won't rape me!" She turned down the music on her laptop. Guess what song was playing? Yup, you guessed right. Dinosaur by Kesha. Fuck that awesome biddie!

"Really? I just forgot about my dream but I do remember Mikele's brick cake and a naked 'BYAKUYA'. He's from Bleach like Ichigo…" I whiped the sweat off my head, which was now throbbing like a bitch. I noticed that Hayley reached behind her and held out a plate to me.

"You wanna brownie?" she asked.

"Fuck yeah! Brownies for Breckers! (breckers; breakfast)" I wolfed down like 3 of them before I remembered what my dream was about. Face palming like 20 times I sighed. "Shit…."

Yes, Hayley. We ate pot brownies this time and why? Because brownies are brownies and we like them. Anyway you don't have to read but you can review if you want. THIS WAS ALL BASED ON A DREAM I HAD…. LOL Smiles! Stay Beauteous!

Deuces!

~Sesshysauce57