A/N: This is just a quick little oneshot that has been on my computer for a while. I decided just to post it. It's set in season 6 before the big fight in episode 6X08. It's Logan's POV and it'll take you all of two minutes to read. So, let me know what you think after you read it. Thanks.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls or Logan. I do own a toothbrush though and I brush twice every day. Take care of those pearly whites folks!
The Toothbrush
It's blue.
It's a slightly darker blue than the shade of her eyes, but it reminds me of her all the same.
It has been sitting in the holder now for the past four days. At least, it has been four days since I noticed it there.
To many people, the object is insignificant and barely worth a second thought. However, what the object signifies to me is that things are moving quickly. The presence of this foreign body in my bathroom represents a change in me and my life that I never thought I would be willing to accept.
Yet, here I am, Logan Huntzberger committed boyfriend.
My philandering days are behind me. Well, until she finally sees sense and decides that I am no good for her.
I suppose I was a reluctant boyfriend. It took a lot of convincing to get me to finally give in to her, but now that I have, I am surprised by how easy it all has been.
The other girls, I barely even notice unless they are right in my face and even then it only takes a few seconds to remove myself from the situation. It's not that I don't have fun anymore, but I would never treat Rory like that. I might have been a player, but I have always been loyal to those I care about.
And for Rory Gilmore, I care a great deal. I care too much, that has always been the problem.
That's what led me here, to find this insignificant, yet significant item in my bathroom.
To her, it probably didn't register just how big a deal it is. She has been staying over at my place now on a regular basis for a while. It would make sense that she would need the necessities to get by. But for me, it means that she's invading my territory. She's getting comfortable and that makes me slightly uncomfortable at how comfortable I am with her.
Does that even make sense?
I like having her here. I look forward to seeing her. I can't wait to get her all to myself without the threat of the Gilmore's walking in on us. I really don't want to give Richard a heat attack. That's why the staying over one night a week deal, quickly developed into three nights a week, to the point where she now leaves her things in my bathroom. Part of me is terrified to look in the bathroom cabinet in case I stumble across her womanly things.
She's taking over and I need to reclaim my space.
It worries me though. If I say something to her, will she take it the wrong way and think that I don't want her here?
Because, I want her to be here.
I'm just not sure whether I'm ready to deal with the next step of being a boyfriend. As easy as I have found it being with Rory, the whole idea of me being in a serious committed relationship is still a little bit mind blowing. I'm still waiting for someone to tell me the punch line.
I find myself worrying about her when she's not a round. I know how hard things are for her right now. She and her mother aren't talking and while that would be a dream come true for me, she misses her profusely and so I feel her pain.
Whenever she is down, I care enough to try to cheer her up. Even going to extreme lengths to achieve my goals. Last week, I gave her a coupon for an hour of Logan Lovin'. She smiled so brightly and giggled so much throughout that hour, I couldn't take the smile off my face for a week. The sound of her laughter was like music to my ears.
She tries to hide how low she feels, but at night sometimes I wake up to feel a wet patch on my shoulder and I hear her sniffling. She is lost and so desperately wants to go back to the life she once knew so well and loved. I can tell. But I won't push her. Maybe that is what she needs, but the final shove will not come from me.
I know better than anyone what it feels like to be pushed into doing something. Ever since she informed me of her decision to quit school, I have tried to give her some time and space to figure things out. I have tried to be there for her and hope that I am enough. I don't know if it was the right thing to do, but it was the only thing that felt right. She has so much pressure and expectation weighing her down, I can relate and so I feel it is not my place to tell her what to do. She will figure it out in her own time.
And in the meantime, I will try to stop obsessing about the little things.
I'm not usually the kind of guy who over analyses things like this. I guess spending so much time with someone who queries everything has rubbed off on me. But then, I don't have much experience in this field at all. I'm playing it by ear and so far it has gone surprisingly okay.
That's why I can't freak out about this. I can't let my old immature insecurities affect me. Because if I do, I could lose the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm not stupid. I know how lucky I am but it would have been nice to have been asked if she could leave her toothbrush in my bathroom. It's just good manners. And no matter how incredibly sexy I find her while she is brushing her teeth, it's still my apartment. She hasn't moved in…yet.
Not that I want her to!