A/N: i'm trying something different for this fic. i've decided to post a playlist of songs that go with each chapter. some songs are actually christian, some are not, but the lyrics are all worth a listen (i only listen to music under that condition). the songs are credited; it'll be in title,artist format for every song with a semicolon (;) in between, just so no one gets confused. those of you who may be instant star fans, i borrowed alot of songs from that soundtrack. they just go well with this story.

hope the playlists add to the depth of the fic, the message and themes of the story, as well as your enjoyment.

cheers!

~temporary insanity

Playlist: savin me, nickelback; bring me life, evanescence; unraveling, tyler kyte; save me, remy zero; clocks, coldplay;

"Thanks, Alice."

"Mommy!!"

"Hey Vanessa. Did you have fun in soccer today?" Bella pulled her eight year old daughter into her arms and inhaled her soft, childish scent.

"Yeah! I made two goals!"

"Good girl." She seemed to have inherited her deceased father's sportiness rather than her own clumsiness. She had Mike's soft blond locks, but her eyes were big and bouncy, and the color of rich chocolate. She recovered from losing herself in her lovely little girl's eyes and straightened. "Go take a bath, baby."

"Okay!"

"I'll come and tuck you in."

"Yay!"

She sighed as her daughter ran up the stairs and into her room. Times like these, she hated Mike with a violent, burning passion.

"You need to get out more."

"Look, I am fine. As long as my Nessa is doing okay…"

"How is she? She didn't look very happy today during practice."

"She's getting tired of hiding behind sports. She wants to quit softball this spring and take an art instead. She'd rather, quote, 'express my feelings rather than hide them'."

"I don't blame her!"

"Shut up, Alice."

"I mean… soccer, gymnastics, softball, and basketball? All you guys ever do is sports, sports, sports!"

Bella sighed, and tears shook her voice. "It's all she has left of him. All I have left."

"What about Newton's?"

"I might have to sell it."

Alice gasped.

"I don't know! It's been three years since Mike died and the store is not paying the bills. Besides, if I go back to teaching, I'll have more time for Nessa's hobbies. And literature is what I love."

"Well," sighed Alice dramatically, "More power to you, I guess." Suddenly she brightened, getting all hyper like she did when she was scheming. "I know just the thing for Vanessa. My Brother is moving into town from London. He teaches private piano lessons."

"Who? Edward, the guy you swear I'm going to marry? Alice, please…"

"Look, it's perfect! He doesn't charge an arm and a leg, either. And you'll get yourself a desperately needed boyfriend. And with that, I'm off. I need to talk to Edward and tell him he has his first client. Call Emmet, Bells. He misses you."

Bella watched her friend scamper off. Scheming little pixie.

B|E

Edward sighed into the phone. "Alice, I'll teach the girl piano if that's what she wants, but… hooking up with her mom is unprofessional. And it's just weird!" he sighed again. "Look, when I get into town, keep Rose occupied. Emmett and I are going to get really, really drunk. Especially if you're throwing this girl and her kid at me… don't be what way? So what if I haven't dated in a while. Maybe I don't want to." He scoffed. "Have you seen me? I can have any girl I want. Whatever. I'll see you next week, Pix." He softened. "Love you too."

He sighed and snapped his cell phone shut. He let his fingers roam over the keys. He didn't know what to think. There was a beautiful, single mom that Alice wanted him to be with. He knew he was going to get close to the kid. He always got close to his students. He stopped playing, his breath catching in his throat. If he dated her mom and she took off on him like Lauren did… it would break him. No, it would pulverize him; he was already broken. All he had left was his music. It was his comfort zone, his area of security, so that was where he'd stay.

He turned back to his music.

E|B

"BELLA!!!!" Emmett scooped her into one of his notorious bone-crushing hugs. "It's been so long! You don't call me anymore! And Rose misses you to death. What's going on? Are you okay?"

"I'd be better if I could breath, Em."

"Sorry." He put her down for a second, then scooped her up again. "Aww Bells, it' so good to see you!"

She chuckled at his enthusiasm. It was something he and his sister, Alice, had in common. Their adoptive brother, Edward, from what she had heard from them, was the calm one.

She'd never met him before. He was adopted as a junior… before she moved to Washington. She and Alice were pen pals since fifth grade and all through college they kept in touch. She knew all about Edward Cullen, but she'd never seen him once. She was the maid of honor at Alice's wedding… but he was on tour then as a concert pianist. When Rose and Emmett got married, he was in London, where he'd decided to stay. He'd always been close to them. But he liked them better from a distance. In doses.

With good reason, she decided as she tried to follow the conversation the two were having. They were quite overwhelming when in the same vicinity. How Carlisle and Esme handled those two was beyond her.

"Right, Bells?"

She finally finished snapping out of it. "Hm?"

"Oh God, Bella! You're pathetic!"

"Not entirely," she mumbled in defense.

"Cheer up, Bells." Emmett put his arms around her in a comforting hug. "I know today is a sad day. But you're tough."

She nodded. She knew that too. It was the fourth year anniversary of the accident that had taken Mike.

"Your little girl needs you to be happy."

"I don't know how anymore."

He sighed. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost my Rosie the way you lost Mike."

She looked up at him, tears in her eyes. "Why couldn't he love me like you love her?"

"I don't know Bells. But you're good. And you're beautiful. And you're smart. The guy for you is out there. Mike wasn't it. He's gone, honey, and you have to move forward. If not for you, then for your daughter."

"Apparently, the guy for me is in your family," she muttered under her breath.

Emmett burst out laughing. "Mary Alice Whitlock Cullen, what the hell did you do?!"

"I told her to take Nessa to Edward for piano lessons so they could get together." Alice was completely unrepentant.

Emmett burst out laughing again, his laughter shaking the house. Emmett was huge and very ripped. He was like what happened when Floyd Mayweather mated the Hulk. Or the entire freakin military. Or Godzilla. Or Ironman. Except much, much cuter. He had brown eyes and curly dark hair which he kept short, and dimples on both his cheeks. Despite his terrifying size or the fact that his laughter shook the house, he was a teddy bear with a huge friendly smile and a child-like heart.

"Well she and Edward could both use some action."

"Before you laugh, Emmett, I'm sure your brother and I both are doing perfectly fine without action."

Emmett tried not to laugh.

She glared at him.

He gave up. "Whatever you say, baby sister," he chortled.