It's cold, the kind of cold that burrows down deep in your skin and settles itself in your bones, unwanted and unwelcome. The rain doesn't exactly help either, coming down in a torrent, soaking your thin military-style and plastering your (y/hc) hair to your face and neck. The man running behind you was faring no better, having raced after you as you fled the dingy motel room in a rush.
"(Y/n)! Hold up," Dean Winchester shouted over the rain, grabbing your arm and turning you to face him.
"Let go of me," you reply angrily, wrenching your arm from his grasp and turning to walk away again.
"(Y/n), please." His voice is softer, more desperate. He reaches his hand out and lightly touches your shoulder, testing your resolve. "I didn't mean what I said, okay. It's just this life, ya know? I've never felt this way about someone before and….. I'm scared." His voice wavers, falters on that last word.
You turn around, eyes fixed on the ground. What he had said had hurt, really hurt, and you weren't ready to forgive him just yet. You feel his hand gently brush your cheek, sending a chill down your already frozen spine. His thumb comes to rest under your chin and he ever so gently raises your head so your (y/ec) eyes meet his green ones.
"Please, just give me a chance to make it up to you," he pleads.
You take a moment to think over everything that has been said over the past few minutes and make the hardest decision of your life. Your voice is angrier than you expected it to be as you begin speaking. "I understand that you've had a rough life, but that doesn't give you the right to treat me like shit! It may not seem it but I do have feelings!"
"(Y/n), I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say those things. I've been working on this case for days and I haven't gotten anywhere and I've been drinking and I took it out on you. It won't happen again, I promise." His eyes search yours, desperately searching for any ounce of forgiveness.
"That's what you said last time. And the time before that and the time before that. It's a never ending cycle and I want out now before it ruins my life for good."
"You can't mean that…"
"Trust me Dean, I mean every word." It breaks your heart to say it, but you have to move on. It's for your own good, and most likely his too.
You see his face fall, the tears well up in his eyes, feel your eyes begin to fill as well. A moment of silence passes between the two of you as you await his response and he attempts to formulate one. The seconds tick by, turning into minutes. Just when you think he has nothing left to say, he closes his eyes and begins.
"I'm broken, (Y/n). I always have been and I always will be. But you….. you make me whole. You manage to put me back together and give me a purpose just by standing in the same room as me." His eyes open, relinquishing the tears he had been holding in. "I know these past few months have been bad but I'm really trying here."
"I understand but it's not good enough anymore! I'm sorry Dean, but I have to do this," you say before he can convince you to stay. Turning, you begin to walk away, finally letting the tears flow freely, mixing with the rain streaming down your face. You slowly make your way to your car and climb in, starting the engine and pulling out of the parking lot before you can fully process what just happened. As the motel fades in your rearview mirror, you see a figure walking towards Dean and enveloping him in a hug. You can only guess that it is Sam, comforting his brother.
You find the nearest alley and pull in, shutting off the engine and resting your head on the steering wheel. Realizing fully what you have just done, you begin sobbing, clutching your arms close to your chest in an attempt to comfort yourself, the sound of the pounding rain slowly dulling into a gentle patter. The loss of Dean has damaged you in more ways than you can fathom, but deep down you know you will make it, and so will he.