What a beautiful night. So peaceful--no wounded. Just walking along the outskirts of the camp alone is wonderful.

"Margaret!"

Ugh...someone yelling for me...I know that voice all too well. Turn around.

"What do you want?"

He's caught up to me now. Great.

"Well, I was just wandering out here alone, and saw you wandering out here alone, and thought we could wander together and not be alone anymore. Unless you wanted to be alone."

When he said 'Unless you wanted to be alone' his whole face dropped. Unlike I've ever seen it before. He's pretended to be disappointed when I turn him down for one thing or another, but this really seems genuine. I only turn him down to protect myself. Protect myself from another heartbreak. There goes my peaceful walk. He's walking away now. Oh no. I guess I took too long to answer.

"Wait, Hawk!" He stopped walking and turns back to me. "Come back. Please don't go. Stay. Walk with me." He's coming back. With a big smile on his face. Ahh he's so darn cute! He's coming over and now we are walking. Laughing, and walking. Oh this is so nice, I wish this could go on forever...

"ATTENTION, INCOMING WOUNDED! LIGHT BATCH. TEAM 1 REPORT TO CHOPPER PAD! I REPEAT, TEAM 1 ONLY!"

We both stop. I groan. He sighs.

"Team 1, that's us. Come on."

"Does the war ever take a break?"

He says that as we rush over to the chopper pad. Only 2 wounded, that's a good sign, but the one in front of me is badly wounded. And they are civilians.

"Hawk, over here!"

"Superficial, only a little bit of shrapnel in the leg. Let me go see what Margaret's got." He says that to B.J. as I am urging him to come over to me.

"Hawk, she's got a chest full of shrapnel."

"She can't wait. Corpsman, take her into pre-op! Stat! Margaret and I will go scrub, Beej you take care of the leg."

"Right!"

"Come on, Margaret."

***POST-OP, AFTER SURGERY***

I am standing over the bed of the old woman that Hawkeye and I just operated on. She most likely won't make it. It is a shame that these civilians get injured like this. Innocently living their lives, and are hurt, traumatized, and sometimes killed because of it.

A hand is placed on my shoulder, jerking me out of my thoughts. "You okay?"

Be brave, you're a Major in the U.S. Army. Be brave, be tough. "I'm fine, Captain, now leave me alone, I have work to do."

"Margaret, you are not fine. You just try to bottle all of your feelings up inside of you. And for what? To build a protective little wall around yourself? You can let people in, you know. Some of us won't hurt you. Some of us really care. But you don't care, you don't care that we care. We-- I hurt when you hurt, but you don't seem to notice. And if you do notice, you sure don't care that we hurt for you. You just don't care."

He's walking away. How dare he talk to me like that! How dare he say that I don't care about them, about him! I do care. But I know for sure that he doesn't hurt because of me! He just goes around chasing nurses and whatever else he does that is highly unmilitary and highly inappropriate. Screw him. Him and all of them. I don't need them. I'm self-sufficient. I don't need friends, or a husband. I need discipline. And even though they don't have it, I do. And I'm proud of it.

***MARGARET'S TENT, THE NEXT DAY***

BOOM!

"Holy Mary, Mother of God, Pray for our sinners, now, and at the hour of our death. Amen. In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen."

This must be the hour of our death, I haven't said a prayer, excluding Christmas and other Holidays of course, since I graduated Holy Trinity High School--let's not mention how many years ago.

BOOM!

"Ahhh!"

Oh please, please let this shelling stop! I can't do it! I can't!

BOOM!

"Ahhh!" That one didn't come from me! It was someone outside. I wonder if they are hurt. Better go out and see. Helmet already on, check. Deep breath, out the door.

"What is it Colonel, what happened?" I ask this as Colonel Potter is kneeling over a body, covered in blood.

"It's Pierce! Corpsman! We gotta get him into post-op. Stat! Corpsman! Take him into pre-op, and get Hunnicutt, he can assist me."

"Oh, God. Hawk? Oh Hawk please answer me!"

He's not answering! He's not answering! Oh please no Hawk, please. Please. I didn't talk to him after our mishap in post-op. He thinks I don't care. Oh my God, but I do. More than he knows!

"I'll assist Colonel."

"No you won't, Major. You're already all shook up about all of this shelling. Assisting one of your best friends operate on your other best friend isn't going to help. You go try and get some rest."

"No, Colonel, I want to assist. I have to! You don't understand!" Oh God, I'm crying. Sobbing!

He rests a comforting hand on my shoulder. In a gentle voice he's saying: "That's an order, Major."

I'm just nodding and walking away. I don't know where, I can't see because I'm crying.

***POST-OP 2 DAYS LATER***

Huh? Where am I? Post-op? What am I doing in--Hawkeye. He's still in a coma.

"It's Thursday, Margaret. Have a nice sleep?"

"B.J. How long did I sleep?"

"You feel asleep around midnight last night. You really should get some sleep in a real bed."

"Nah, I really feel like I need to stay here. I don't know if Hawkeye told you what happened.."

"He's my best friend. I squeezed it out of him." Awkward silence... "He was really upset you know."

"I know. I couldn't go after him. I didn't want comfort, I just wanted to be left alone."

"But we care about you, Margaret. All of us do. Especially Hawkeye."

"'Especially Hawkeye'? Why 'especially Hawkeye'?"

He just shrugs with a small smile on his face. Just like B.J. to leave me hanging and not say anything.

"Ughh.."

"Hawk?!"

"Beej?"

"Yeah Hawk it's me. How are you feeling?"

"Like someone took a hammer to every part of my body. How 'bout you?"

Does he not notice me here?

"So how long have I been out?"

"2 days."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

I'm sitting by watching this terribly boring conversation.

"Hawk?" That was much too emotional...

"Hey Beej you think you could get me something to eat?"

"Sure be right back."

Now B.J. is gone, maybe he just wanted to get rid of him before he talked to me. Wait he's laying down. Closing his eyes. Wait..what?

"Hey, Hawk?"

Oh I get it: he's ignoring me. Makes perfect sense now. I feel defeated. There's nothing left in me now but sadness. I came so close to losing the person I love, and now he;s just ignoring me. Sigh.

"Okay."

With that I get up and walk away.

---------END OF CHAPTER 1--------

Author's Note: If there is enough interest, I will probably end this in a 2nd chapter, I just wanted to get an idea of how you guys feel about this. It's taken me a long time, and I've been in different moods. I don't know...freshman year is hectic!!! Just finished the fall play at school, should probably have a little more time. But varsity wrestling cheerleading starts tomorrow...what a hectic life!! Not to mention the holiday season is here!!! Review please :)