Ever had one of those idea's that kept bnging around in your head until it wouldn't leave you alone? This is one of those wierd ideas. It's gonna be a wierd story, no lies, but hopefully funny for the most part. 'cept for some dark parts.
Because dark parts are fun.
Dedicated to the turkeys who gave thier lives for this holiday. May we never forget thier sacrifice.
Xemnas was having one of those Bad Days That Never Were. He'd lost his Valium somewhere in Vexen's lab (And there was no way in hell he would attempt to find it in all those other drugs), Saix was off in Agrabah, so he had no company, his desk had caught on fire from one of those "Accidents" Axel had had yesterday, and he could feel a Headache That Never Was coming on. He sat down in his chair, and attempted to relax, rubbing his temple with his left hand. Unfortunately, he had no idea what was coming up the stairs at this very moment, very angrily, and shooting a lot of electricity as it did so.
Moments later, a chunk of wood flew of the door that had been next to the doorknob. Xemnas sat straight up, staring in fear at what had just sent a piece of blackened wood through the window next to him. He watched in horror as a clawed- scratch that, manicured, he corrected himself- hand reached slowly through the hole in the door and grabbed the doorknob, twisting it to re-veil a very pissed off Larxene.
"Enough," She snarled, and threw the door shut behind her, breaking the doorknob off in her hand as she did, and making a hole in the wall when she threw said doorknob at it. Xemnas, petrified, watched as she stormed in and slammed her hands on Xemnas' desk.
"I refuse to-" Her sentence was cut short suddenly, as the already very charred table broke in two under her slammed hands. Both she and Xemnas blinked at the charred heap of rubbish, staring in confusion for a minute, before looking at each other.
"Um… You were saying?" Xemnas said, still in shock from the last minute and a half of his life this entire incident had taken up.
Larxene bristled. "As I was saying, I refuse to take this abuse any longer!"
Xemnas flinched back, but Larxene wasn't done yet. "That goddamn Xigbar can't keep his bastard mouth shut! I am so sick of hearing things about how 'I'm just a girl so I can't do this,' and 'I'm just a girl so I can't touch that,' and all this other random shit! I demand-"
Xemnas attempted guessing. "More rights? A muzzle for Xigbar? Action to be taken against him?"
She leaned in closely to Xemnas, so far that he could see his hair going towards her static electricity. He started praying that if his hair touched her, it wouldn't electrocute him.
"More girls." She snarled.
He blinked. "…What?" He asked, stunned.
She rolled her eyes. "You heard me. So far, it's only me, Xion, and Namine. And you don't even count them."
He flinched at the venom in her voice. "Including Repliku," She continued, "We have sixteen people living in this castle. That's thirteen to three, Xemnas. And if we take out Xion, Namine, and Repliku- Your extra's-" Her voice turned cold, " Then it's twelve to one. Twelve, to freaking one, Xemnas." She grabbed the arms of his chair, her antennae standing straight into the air, showing her aggression.
"I demand that we get more females into the organization." She said quietly, which scared Xemnas more then the yelling in all honesty.
"Well, I can't promise anything. After all, it seems that you are the only woman strong enough to become a nobody so far, as Xion is technically a replica, and Namine was made in a combined effort of Sora's and Kairi's hearts being lost-"
"Bullshit Xemnas," She snarled, leaning in suddenly. " You're the leader, you can find them." With that, she backed up, turned, and sauntered out. "I'll be back later to discuss finding them," She said in an almost singsong voice, and slammed the door behind her, breaking it consequently three seconds later. Xemnas stared as the door practically imploded, and then did the manliest thing he could think of- locked himself in the bathroom for three hours, alternating between pacing the tile flooring, staring at the door in a scared manner while holding a razor for protection while hiding in the bathtub, and simply putting his head between his knees and screaming like Demyx at a scary movie after swallowing three balloon's worth of helium.
Yes, he had done that before, that was the problem two weeks ago.
After Xemnas felt slightly calmer- and reassured himself that if she came back, he could electrocute her by spraying her with the shower, although that might just make her angry- he started planning out his task.
Saix portalled into the office. "Master?" He called out, confused of Xemnas' absence.
"I'm in here, come in, and for the love of God, don't let Larxene in," came a slightly muffled voice behind the bathroom door. Confused, but obedient, he portalled through the door to find his master muttering to himself and scribbling notes on a sheet of paper while partially hiding in the bathtub.
"What are you doing master?" Saix asked, tilting his head in confusion.
"I'm making teams," Xemnas answered, not moving his eyes from the paper.
"Teams? For what Master?"
Xemnas looked up grimly. "For the most insane mission of our lives."
"This blows," Axel complained. Roxas nodded his head in agreement, this assignment sucked. Everyone had been combing the darkness and other worlds for a month now, trying to find any new nobodies. At first, everyone thought that someone new had emerged and had simply gotten lost, but now they were all beginning to suspect they were simply looking for nothing. At least Roxas and he were still paired up, everyone else save for Xion (Who had been left to "guard the 'prisoners'") had to go it alone. But Axel wasn't counting any blessing right now. Oh no. Nothing like it. Axel was especially aggravated, since they had been sent to The Land Of Dragons to quadruple-check. And the mountain was cold as Hell.
Axel growled, and with a well placed 'Fuck This', opened a portal, and hauled Roxas' ass through it, ending up in the Gray Area. Looking around, he could see that a few other people were un-happy as well. Xigbar and Luxord were glaring at their poker cards so hard Axel thought they might disintegrate, while Zexion and Demyx were on the other end of the room. The lack of music let Axel know even Demyx wasn't in a good mood today. Xaldin sat fumingly in front of the fire with Lexeaus on his side. He looked grimly up at everyone.
"So, what hell hole have we endured today?"
Xigbar threw his cards down, and turned so fast, Roxas could've sworn he had whiplash.
"Five fucking hours, trapped in a maze with fucking card people running rampant trying to stab me in my other eye. I swear, Xemnas needs to grow a pair, just so I can rip them off with Xaldin's fucking cooking ladle." Xigbar's growl set Zexion off as well.
" I had to go back to Castle Oblivion. I got so fucking turned around upstairs, I couldn't find the fucking stairs, and I somehow got locked into a room with no doors or windows at one point," Zexion snarled. Demyx patted him sympathetically. Axel looked at Demyx.
"Where'd you go then?" Axel asked. Demyx froze mid-pat, his eyes growing cold.
"Halloween Town." Demyx hissed. Everyone flinched. "I got attacked by zombies twice, hit in the head with a skull, had a gate fall on me, nearly got my head chopped off, and I got lost in that stupid scientist's house. And for what? No. Nobody." It was Zexion's turn to pat sympathetically. Xaldin threw his voice into the mix.
"If I ever have to step foot back into Beast's Castle, I will burn it to the ground and dance on it's ashes." He turned back to the fire, and Lexeaus took over from there.
"… I officially hate hyenas now. Enough said. I see you two got stuck in The Land Of The Dragon's. So sorry about that Axel." He turned back to the fire, which Roxas and Axel had rushed to in order to warm up again. Luxord spoke.
"I had to go Agrabah. I nearly got mugged three times, and that Jafar fellow attempted to turn me into his willing slave." He took a card, looked at it for a moment, pondering, and then threw it into the fire. The other seven members looked surprised, before hearing the screaming. Axel quickly rescued the card, and threw it through a portal after extinguishing it. "Luxord, we can't kill the bad guys of other realms. It's against the rules."
"Fuck the rules, I want to cheat," Luxord moaned. Everyone was shocked for a moment, before seconding the movement. They sat and talked about how shitty their days had been after that, letting the others come in and chat as well. Save for the girl's, everyone had been sent out today it seemed. Marluxia came in with his hair frizzed up, whining about the Space Paranoid's world being the worst thing that had happened to him this whole month. He talked with the other's, evidently still pissed off due to the un-natural amount of hair styling he was doing while sitting, and the fact that a burst of flower petals went off every five minutes or so in a blaze of angry glory. Saix came in late at night and collapsed on the floor, completely exhausted from fighting off Cerberus the entire day while searching. Even Xemnas trailed in after a while, looking completely apologetic to everyone. Finally, late at night, Xaldin looked up.
"Um Xemnas? You sent out almost everyone today, right?"
"Right," Xemnas sighed, feeling extremely tired.
"Then… Where's Vexen?"
Almost as if on cue, the door squeaked open, and the sound of breaking ice could be heard. Xigbar jumped up and looked over to the hallway. "Hey, Snow man, you-" His eye widened in shock and somewhat horror, and Vexen slowly but surely made it into the Gray Area. Everyone's mouths flew open in shock. Vexen was completely covered in a thin layer of ice that broke and re-froze every time he took a step or moved at all. He stood still for a moment, glaring at Xemnas.
"…Atlantica. Of all the places to send the person who has ice-abilities, you send me to Mother-Fucking Atlantica." His breath made little clouds of vapor in the air, which in turn froze slightly and broke on the floor as they fell. Everyone stared, freaked out, before Axel (Who was the only one who could withstand touching Vexen like this) jumped over one of the couches, and hauled Vexen over to the fireplace, forcing him to sit down. Lexeaus portalled out, returning with a pair of pants, a fresh shirt, some boxers (Neatly concealed in between the pants and shirt so no one would see) and a towel. Xigbar and Axel worked together helping Vexen out of his cloak, melting and un-zipping as fast as possible. While this was happening, Demyx summoned a huge bubble of boiling water. As soon as Vexen's shirt had been worked off, Demyx poured it all over Vexen, melting the last of the ice, with just enough time for Xaldin and Xigbar to block the rest from seeing Lexeaus giving Vexen the pants and boxers, and Vexen quickly changing, drying himself with the towel. He put the shirt on, and with a quiet thank you, attempted to move away from the fire. Three sets of arms held him down on the floor and kept him from leaving the fire's side, although Lexeaus himself could've done it. Every eye moved to Xemnas, who grimaced.
"This isn't working."
"No fucking shit it's not, Sherlock," Xigbar snarled. "That's my little bro you nearly popsicalized out there."
"Chill out guys- Ok, well, wrong choice of words I suppose, but still." A feminine voice rang out.
Twelve sets of eyes looked up slowly to see Larxene and Xion standing there. Larxene looked triumphant, and was holding a rolled up piece of paper. "I've got the solution to your problems. We don't have to go on missions anymore looking for girl nobodies."
You could have heard a pin drop. Every head turned toward Xemnas, who did a nervous laugh and a shrug. "She's… She's insane." He put up as a defense. After considering it for a moment, they accepted this as an apology, and turned back to the mistress of crazy up on the stair top.
" Xion, Namine, Repliku, and I have drafted a legal document to help you decide on what to do. If all these terms are met, then we'll never bring up this issue again, and call it square. " She tossed the paper to Xemnas, who caught it with ease, and un-rolled it. He sat down before reading, knowing that it'd floor him otherwise probably. Within five minutes, he had risen to his feet once more.
"Never…" He hissed. Larxene shrugged.
"Well then, I guess you're going to be having more of those incidents there then," She pointed at Vexen, who was still being held down by his "older brothers". "Let's hope it's not something more serious next time- Like Demyx or Marluxia out in The Land Of Dragons on the mountain. Or Axel in Atlantica. Or Saix in Halloween Town. Wouldn't want him berserking on all those people, now would we?" She purred.
Xemnas looked at her, down at the paper, and back at her again. He let out a roar. "Meeting! Now." With that said, he disappeared into the darkness. Everyone, shocked for the most part, went to the meeting hall, and sat in their chairs, save for Vexen, who was sitting with Lexeaus, who was enacting the secret martial art of the bear hug in order to make Vexen stop shivering so violently. Xemnas looked over everyone with a glare before beginning.
"According to this, the first change that they want to see made is Xion, Namine and Repliku becoming official members. Also, Repliku is to be referred to as "Riiku" from now on."
The roars of a few of the members echoed shortly, before a glare from Xemnas silenced it. "We shall vote on it. Starting off. Number one," He glared down at Larxene, "Nay. II?"
"Hell fucking no." A glare from Xemnas righted the language. "I mean, Nay."
"III?"
"Nay." Xaldin replied.
"IV?" Vexen remained silent for a moment, and Lexeaus jostled him to make sure that he was awake. "IV." Came Xemnas again.
"…Yes." Vexen replied quietly. The roars began again, not to be muted until Xemnas issued a command. He looked down incredulously at Vexen.
"…Yes?" He said, confused. Vexen adjusted himself so he could look up at the others before speaking.
"You forget, I made two of those people we're voting on. And I've watched all three in action, especially Namine and Riiku in Castle Oblivion. I think they've earned our trust and a rank, even if it's a low one. And I certainly think if the boy wants a name, he should have the freedom to get one. So, I vote Yea." With that, he settled back into Lexeaus' chest with a quiet 'thanks' to him for helping with the heat issue. After Xemnas dealt with the shock, he returned to the voting.
"V?"
Lexeaus took another look at Vexen before voting. "Yea."
Xemnas didn't even bother trying to get quiet this time. Neither did Lexeaus see fit to explain himself. "My vote is my vote," he simply said, and ended the matter at that.
"VI?"
"Nay. I'd rather watch the boy burn then have a place in here," Came Zexion's snarled reply. A few cheers joined his response. After Xemnas had once again regained order (And threatened to smash every T.V. in the castle if he couldn't keep it,) the voting continued.
"VII?"
"Nay."
"VIII?"
"…Yea."
"…IX?"
"…Sorry Repliku. Nay."
"X?"
"Yea. And only because I see it in the cards anyway. And Namine could be more help to us as a friend then simply a prisoner."
"…XI?"
"…Yea."
"XII-"
"Yea, obviously."
"XIII."
"Yea. They're my sisters, what did you expect?"
Xemnas did a quick tally. " The vote is, six nay's, seven yea's. The vote… passes?" He sighed as a few members got out of order, and Xigbar invented some new swear words specifically for this occasion. Xemnas waited for the quiet to come, and initiated the ceremony, having the three teens come forward. After being presented with cloaks, they were granted their titles- "The Illusion Of Light", "The Memory Witch", and "The Darkness' Shadow." Feeling mostly pleased, they took to the new thrones that had sprung up for them, Xion's between Roxas' and Larxene's, Riiku's between Vexen and Zexion, and Namine's between Xemnas and Xigbar. Xemnas took a breath and continued.
"There is another matter to address here as well. You all remember the incident a few months ago when IX accidentally took a shot from Vexen's lab and became a woman for a few days?" Everyone sniggered for a moment, Demyx included (He was easy-going like that), until Xemnas silenced them with a glare. He continued. " It seems that Larxene has studied this particular incident enough to know that that was the diluted shot. An undiluted shot would result in permanent womanhood for the receiver." He stopped there, trying to remember how to breathe.
Xigbar's face became a mask of shock. "Aw, HELL no. You don't mean to tell us-"
"I do. Since it requires that your blood can accept the change, everyone must be tested. They'll drop this if no one matches… but we already know someone does." All eyes turned to a petrified Demyx before Xemnas began again. "It's also saying that they would like it if two were neophytes- ok, half way there," Demyx paled, " And one came from the original six founders- oh HELL no." Xemnas broke his cool façade for only a moment. Larxene giggled in glee.
"What's a matter, Xemnas? Afraid of losing your 'manhood'?" She laughed. Xemnas crumpled the paper before beginning again.
"… Everyone is to be tested. Anyone found positive will be changed. No exceptions whatsoever." With that, he stormed out into the darkness. Silence descended before all hell broke lose.
"He can't DO that-"
"There is no way in HELL I will-"
"How do women even go to the bathroom?"
This panic continued for most of the night, until everyone went to bed, save for the women, with a sense of doom hanging over their heads.
Zexion knew exactly where to head as soon as the meeting ended. He climbed the stairs to the library, two at a time. When he finally reached its glass doors, he opened them slowly, letting the lamplight from the halls in with him. He closed them softly, letting the music overtake him.
Oh yes, music. Because, un-known by the rest of the organization, Zexion wasn't alone in the library night after night. Not after the day he came.
When Zexion entered into the library, the last thing he expected to hear was soft music. He stood at the doors, stunned, before walking fast towards the music. Surprising also was how a strange bright light filled the room as well, emanating from the same direction. How DARE someone come in here and defile his sanctuary of silence with sounds, no matter how soothing they seemed, he fumed. And how dare someone fill the darkness of his lair with light. Did they not remember the fact they were nobodies? They bred in the darkness, lived in it, and loved it. He turned, coming to the last row of books. He stood between the last two rows, surrounded by texts, confused. The sound was right here… as was the light.
He turned again, going to the last wall that was behind the bookcase. He was stunned again by the brightness. He had forgotten that the huge window in the end of the library was there for sometime, as he never used it, he kept it closed. But someone had thrown the deep red velvet curtain aside, letting in the light from the moon.
It was dazzling. He never imagined the light of Kingdom Hearts could shine so purely, so bright, washing everything in its un-earthly glow a lighter shade. The music came from behind him now, and Zexion turned to see a ladder extending up the bookcase he just had passed. Hesitant at first, he began to climb, entranced by the sound. He climbed until he reached the top, several stories off the ground. He blinked, seeing an empty space on top before him. He realized that the sound was to his left, and he slowly turned-
He could smell the comforting smell of the night ocean. He watched as its keeper strummed the strings of his giant sitar as he sat stories above the floor on the bookcase, playing what could only be described as a hymn to the moon and sea. He remained quiet, watching the boy at his work. He remembered seeing him before, the new recruit. Number Nine. The Melodious Nocturne. …Demyx.
He kept his silent watch, seeing Demyx in a completely different light. Literally. In the day, he was as annoying and awkward as any other teenage boy, which made him all the less compatible with Zexion, who was as cool and calm as they came. His hair stood up in a strange Mohawk, mullet, thing that Zexion had no name for, and his eyes were always darting about, so you never could get a good look into them to tell what he was thinking. But now, his light skin shone like the moonlight itself. His hair seemed soft and inviting, bleached to a light sand color in the moonlight. His fingers were nimble and quick on the strings, un-like their clumsiness in the day. His eyes were closed in concentration, and what almost seemed to be reverence. Then, just when Zexion thought he couldn't be anymore shocked, Demyx opened his mouth.
The song he sang could only be described as a dedication of the soul. It's haunting beauty struck Zexion so hard that he nearly let go of the ladder. Demyx sang out, hitting notes Zexion wasn't sure existed- and he was pulling it off magnificently. His normally cracked and squeaky voice was something to behold. His hymn to the moon, the night, and the ocean ended shortly after it began, with a simple few more strums of the strings. As he hit the last note on the string, he harmonized, finally opening his eyes. Zexion felt a strange tightness in his chest as he saw the one color un-diluted by the moon- the warm Caribbean ocean teal that he felt he was almost swimming in. When they connected with his own eyes, he let go of the ladder.
He regained control after only a few rungs of sliding, and climbed back up, cursing his luck and hurt palms. As he made it to the top rung, he saw Demyx stand- and retreat.
"Wait!" He cried out, but Demyx began to flee. Zexion got to his feet on the bookcase, and despite what his brain told him, he ran after Demyx. Only a few footfalls later, he caught his arm.
Demyx whirled around, trapped. "I am SO sorry, Zexion- I mean, number six, I mean, oh I mean that, I didn't realize you'd be here, not that I mind you're here, just that I wasn't expecting you to- I'm so sorry, I'll just go and-"
"Demyx." The one word stopped his mindless blather and set his eyes wide in surprise, mouthing his own name. Zexion realized he'd never called Demyx by his name before. He looked at Demyx, and tried to sum up what he'd just seen. "…Stay." Was the most he could manage.
Zexion remembered how they bonded over the nights after that, becoming best friends on that bookcase, sharing secrets, dreams… and even desires. Zexion still felt that first kiss under the moon, two months after becoming friends with Demyx every time he looked at him. And every one after the first as well. He paused, frowning. The music was different tonight, more somber and melancholy. He climbed to their balcony on the bookcase, and sat next to his nocturne, who was deep in thought.
"What's troubling you, Demyx?"
He sighed. "Zex, remember when I last got stuck with being a girl for a few days?"
Zexion sniggered. "Hard to forget Demyx. You were so awkward for that week."
Demyx went quiet. "… We were so awkward that week."
Zexion stopped laughing immediately. He looked over at his blonde, who was currently tucked into himself like he was trying to hide… or like he was crying.
"Demyx, what's wrong? What are you worried about?" Zexion asked, moving close to pt a hand on his shoulder. Demyx looked up to match his gaze.
"You didn't like me when I was a girl," he whispered, and then returned his head to his arms. Zexion stared in shock at him, and then tackle-hugged him so hard, they ended up sprawled out on top of the bookcase.
"Demyx, never, EVER, say that again. Of course I liked you!"
"But everything was so weird! You didn't do the same stuff we did when I was a guy that entire week! And Zexion… That was before we got together. How am I supposed to know what's going to happen when I'm a girl? I don't … I can't lose you, Zexion." Zexion watched in horror as Demyx put his hands over his eyes and started to cry, very soft, and very low. He gently moved his boyfriends' hands away after a moment, so he could look into his eyes, so Demyx would know he was telling the truth.
"Demyx," He started off slowly. "That week you were a girl… It was so hard not to grab you and kiss you, you adorable moron." Demyx's eyes widened in shock, but Zexion continued.
" I never thought of dating a guy before I meet you, Dem. I was always sure I would live a solitary, bachelor's life, like Even and Aeleus. And Vexen and Lexeaus after them. But you came into my life, like a full moon, and lit up everything to bright to understand at first. All I knew was I was happy with you. I was at peace by your side, like I had never been with anyone else. And I didn't know that love could come in the form of another man before then. I was ignorant."
"You were innocent," Demyx interrupted. He paused, looking up at Zexion, sitting on top of him. He stroked the side of his face. "You still are," he whispered.
Zexion gave a slight shudder, and continued. " I thought you and I were simply best friends, as my before mentioned friends were. But then… then you turned into a girl for a week. And suddenly, everything changed again. And I realized that the tugging in my chest wasn't because my best friend was there, because a best friend doesn't make you blush all the time when you touch them, even if it's just a hug. They don't give you a shiver down your spine like a ghost ran their finger down it. Only… only a crush does. And I figured it'd go away when you were back to you… but when you went back, I realized that the only thing that had changed was your outside. And I hadn't fallen for that."
He placed his hand on Demyx's chest, not taking his eyes from the blonde's. "This is what I fell in love with. This is who I fell in love with. And it is who I will stay in love with until the end of all things. So Demyx, if you change again… When you change again, just remember… You're not."
Demyx, crying again, pulled Zexion down into a huggle. They lay there for a time, simply holding each other, before lips found lips and the night was lost to love.
"Lex," Vexen whined. The big man smiled, and continued to carry Vexen down the hall.
"Lex, put me down, I wanna go to the lab." Lexeaus laughed.
"Vexen, you sound like Ienzo did when he didn't want to go to bed at night sometimes."
"Well, I don't want to go to bed either, and I'm an adult, so there."
Lexeaus paused and looked down at his shivering friend. They both laughed at how ridiculous the blonde had sounded, before Lexeaus shifted him closer, to try to stop the shaking.
"I don't care how important what ever it is you have down there is," Lexeaus declared. "You are going to sleep tonight Vexen. And if you want to argue, I can drag Xemnas down here and tell him you won't be able to start the tests tomorrow, because you'll be un-rested. And then what'll happen."
"I get the keys taken away again." Vexen grumbled, feeling very much like a punished child.
"Good, you get a cookie Vexen." Lexeaus smirked, and with their combined laughter, he kicked open his door. He set Vexen on the bed, and closed the door.
"…But Lex, this is your room," he heard the confused voice behind him. He turned.
"Let's say I don't trust you in this case," He laughed. Vexen pouted on the bed until Lexeaus walked over with a spare set of pajamas he always kept handy for 'sleep-overs' with Vexen. After they changed, they snuggled into the covers, with Lexeaus eventually holding a shivering Vexen once more.
"They're getting worse, aren't they," Lexeaus said, concerned. Vexen shook his head.
"I'm fine," He lied. Lexeaus squeezed him for a second, earning a squeak.
"Liar," Lexeaus said good-naturedly. He got serious suddenly. " You can't do this Vexen. You need to get some help with this, you're freezing for God's sake."
Vexen gave another shudder before snuggling back into Lexeaus. "…Who'd help?"
Lexeaus went quiet. He knew as much as Vexen that there was only one doctor in the entire castle, and he was currently shivering in his arms violently. He decided to change the subject. " Have you told him yet?"
No one else would've noticed the pause in Vexen's shivering after that question. "…No. How could I?" He responded. "Have you told him?"
Lexeaus snuggled into Vexen's hair after a moment. "…No. How could I."
" They can't fucking DO this to us!" Xigbar roared, slamming his mug of beer down on the counter.
Xaldin and Luxord flinched. Xemnas sat at the bar, still in shock about his last edict. Axel and Saix lounged on the couch, Roxas squished between them. The Bar That Never Was (even Xemnas was questioning his judgment on naming all of the places in the castle on those lines, it'd been that hard a day) was full of aggression, and most of it was coming from the scarred man in the middle of the bar.
"Technically, we don't know if this is a bad thing yet," Luxord pointed out. Xigbar wheeled around on him.
"Why in blazes would it ever be a GOOD thing?" He choked out at the brit. Luxord shrugged.
"Think of it this way mate," he drawled, splaying sixteen cards on the table to show his point. "This means more bits of skirt for the rest of us to chase. We all know the current women are taken, either by each other," he removed the twelve and joker card, "Or in Namine's case, Riiku." He put the king and queen cards together, and moved all four cards off to the side. "So this'll mean that we have at least three more chances for the rest of us single blokes to get a chance in the game. And I'm betting I know who'll win and who'll lose this gamble." He looked at his cards for a moment, and then removed the nine and six cards, placing them with the other four. "Scratch that. We have two chances at least. Maybe three if we get lucky."
Xaldin looked over. "Why'd you take out six and nine?" he asked.
"And why are the odds different?" Xemnas asked on the other side.
"Because Demyx and Zexion are going out, and since Demyx is changing, it decreases the odds," Axel volunteered from the couch as he snuggled next to Roxas.
"Precisely," Luxord said, and removed the eight and jack cards as well from his demonstration on the bar counter.
"And you're removing those because?" Xigbar asked.
Luxord shot him a sarcastic look. "Really now. Even if Roxas had a chance of becoming a woman," He turned to look at Roxas at this point, "Which I'm not saying you do or don't," he swiveled back on his stool, "You expect anyone to be able to take the two of them off each other?"
The others stared at the two who were snuggling on the couch. Roxas gave a big yawn, and almost instinctively, Axel said goodnight to all, picked up the boy, and ever so gently, moved him up the stairs and down the hall to their room. As the others watched, Xigbar raised a glass when they were out of sight.
"To Axel. May he one day find where Roxas has hidden his balls." He solemnly said, before drinking from his mug.
"To Axel," Saix and Xaldin joined in, drinking as well, to their friends' surprise.
"Honestly, I think Axel hasn't changed for the worst. I'd love for someone to show me that level of adoration." Luxord said. Xigbar choked on his drink before looking at him.
"You sound like a frigging woman Luxord." Xigbar managed to choke out, his eye wide. Luxord glared at him.
"You're implying I'll be one of the one's changed simply because I think I'd like someone to love me unconditionally? Is it really such a crime to want something out of life besides violence and alcohol?" Xigbar flinched at Luxord's words, thrown like Larxene's knives- straight to the 'heart'. " I fail to see how someone could not enjoy an actual relationship Xigbar. You know, one with commitment, one with caring, maybe some protection and safety thrown in? It might be nice to feel loved for once."
Xigbar, looking extremely hurt, slipped off his stool, muttering a half hearted 'good night' to the others before portaling off. The other's watched his retreat in confusion, save for Luxord, who went back to his coke.
"Hey, how come you never drink with us anyway Luxord?" Xaldin asked. Luxord's face grew ever darker.
" I am unable to take alcohol well Xaldin. I don't want to lose what's left of my humanity to that poison again. I will never again let it touch my lips." He chugged the rest of his coke, and in a sudden change of demeanor, turned to his friends, his usual cocky smile on his face. "At least I'm more in the know then the rest of you blokes."
"And what do you know that we don't?" Saix inquired from the couch.
"Simple; which blokes will be ladies by the week's end of course. Don't know if you want to hear though, might make some uncomfortable."
The three surrounded him on his stool, eyes wide and demanding. Luxord smiled even wider.
"Well then, let's have a look shall we? Let's put all our blokes out."
He placed twelve cards in front of them, one through eleven, and the jack of hearts. He looked at them, then removed the nine card. "This one won't count," he said, "We already know about Demyx." He closed his eyes and hovered his left hand over the remaining eleven cards. With a strange, un-earthly ease, he picked three cards out and held them out for all to see. The reactions varied, Saix paling whiter then the moon itself, Xemnas looking dis-believing, and Xaldin laughing so hard he fell out of his chair.
"Him?" He roared, holding his sides. "That's hysterical! I mean, he never once seemed girlish!" He continued to die of laughter on the floor while Saix lay down on the couch.
Xemnas cleared his throat. " Aren't you… missing one?"
Luxord looked up in such a dead expression for a second Xemnas was shocked speechless. "You doubt my judgment superior?"
'Where the hell does Xigbar FIND all these weirdoes,' Xemnas thought, before responding. "Not at all Luxord. Not the slightest bit."
The grin was back suddenly. "Ok gents, betting time!" He proclaimed. He held up the first card. "How much me being wrong on him?"
Everyone stared before Saix spoke. " Fifty."
"Fifteen," came from Xaldin. Saix shot him a dirty look. "Ok, ok, twenty five."
"I abstain," Came Xemnas, "From all the bets, thank you."
"Fine then," Luxord pouted. "How 'bout him?" He asked, holding another card up.
"Five." Came the simultaneous response. Luxord quirked an eyebrow.
"Trust me, He's pretty girly sometimes," Xaldin got out before cracking up again. " And I bet the same on the second."
"Same on second," Saix intoned.
Luxord looked back to his cards with a smile. ' This will be an interesting gamble,' he thought.
Marluxia sighed and sagged into the beanbag. "I don't know how you did it, Larx. I wish I knew, I'd kill to have Xemnas listen to me like that."
"Soon he will, Marsh-mello, soon he will," She crowed. " As soon as you're feminized, we'll have so much fun torturing Xemnas together."
Marluxia scowled. "And what makes you think I'd be so eager to be a woman, hm? For all you know, I might not even have the genes. Isn't that a major factor, something about genetics having to be correct for it to work?"
Larxene threw a pillow, hitting Marluxia in the back of the head. " Look at yourself hun, it's kinda obvious you'd be a perfect candidate for the part. You've got the perfectly styled pink hair, nice and soft skin, flower power, and an awesome figure. Not to mention, why wouldn't you want to be a woman?"
"Name three good reasons I'd wanna change." Marluxia scoffed. Larxene propped herself up on the bed, and looked at him.
"Easy. One, you'd get anything you want through a little fit alone."
"How is that to convince me? It is much more beneficial to rule, not in fear, but either gaining the trust through persuasion, be it either verbal or through actions."
"Yeah, how's that working out for you Marly? You've running around planning this revolution for how long now? And it only took me a month to bring this place to its knees in obedience from one hissy fit, and written document. Easy pea-sy, lemon squeeze-y into their paper cuts."
"…I'm pretty sure that's not how the rhyme goes Lightning Bug." Marluxia blinked at her in slight shock.
" Does it really matter?" She asked, taking a bite of a chocolate bar.
"You have two more reasons to come up with Larxene."
She cocked her head. " Well, it'd certainly make life a little more simpler for you in some ways. You'd never have to worry about all those comments being thrown at you, since looking girly would make more sense if you were a woman."
He dismissed this with a wave of his hand. "We must look past these comments, Larxene. They belittle their creators more then their victims."
Larxene pouted for a minute, before slowly hitting her last idea. She approached it as slow as possible.
" You said he was straight, didn't you?"
Marluxia froze.
" If you were a woman, you'd be too." She continued. " You and he could hook up finally, like you've wanted since Oblivion."
Marluxia turned slowly to look at her, and then shook his head.
"You don't get it Larxene." He said softly. " I'd still be me on the inside. He doesn't want me, not at all. I can see it when he looks at me. He thinks I'm a tyrant, a lunatic… a monster. He wouldn't change his mind if I grew a few more curves, or a few more brain cells. I'll never mean more to him then… just a stupid, over-zealous, bratty, power- obsessed … neophyte." He said the last word as if it were acid on his tongue.
Larxene crawled over and smacked him on the back of the head before giving him a hug.
"It's not like my Marly to give up dammit," she said softly. " so get back to your old damn self and stop beating yourself up over the stupid thing. Oblivion is over, everyone forgave you. Even Xemnas."
"But not him…"
Larxene didn't know how to reply. They sat there, holding each other until the sun rose, and found them asleep on the beanbag in Larxene's room.
Down in the labs, two figures silently made their way out of their rooms down a hallway. They entered into a white walled room, with a lone girl at the desk, drawing furiously. They made their way silently to her side.
"Have you found out what's going to happen?" Riiku asked quietly, his hand on her shoulder. Namine stopped, and nuzzled his hand before opening her eyes and speaking.
" Look for yourself if you truly wish to know."
Xion peered over Namine and gave a gasp. "Not him, surely there's a mistake on this Namine."
The blonde turned to Xion. " You know as well as I do I don't get false alarms, only false interpretations. We wait and see what happens." With that, she turned back to the drawing once more.
Xion walked out, heading to her room again, while Riiku stayed, watching Namine draw a while longer before retreating as well, never taking his eyes from her as he left.