I see these blank pages fill so easily.
Yet, the words used to fill them say nothing.
Mean nothing.
Why must i go through these endless blank pages?
There's nothing here for me, Just black on white. Simple.
But when i look into his eyes These blank white pages are filled Not with black letters Not with pointless words But a beautiful picture A picture painted with hues of gold and silver and red A picture that describes love
Why do i feel this way? He is my enemy. He can never be anything more. But his blue eyes add another tone into the picture A deeper tone It fills a long abandoned void in my heart.
Why must he make me feel this way?
My eyes tear up in confusion This isnt right.
I know it isnt.
The tears i spill onto the pages add another layer They dull everything But at the same time pull it all into focus It's always the same.
Soon he will leave again Taking the picture with him The pages are white again Monotonous Plain I long for him to come back But he is my enemy nothing more
He hates me with every fiber of his being Why dont i return that hatred?
Why cant I look at him with an urge to kill him as he does to me?
No one else can create the same picture Only him Does he not feel the same?
Is his hard exterior a facade?
Will he ever love me?
Do i paint the same picture for him?
Or does he only see white when he looks in my eyes?
The games he plays with my heart are tiring Does he know what he does to me?
Does he know how much i long for him?
Does he know... ?
Can i ever quit loving him? Why wont it all end?
This suffering. Why cant he tell me?
Why won't i tell him?
The fear.
The fear of being rejected.
Why cant i tell him of the pictures he paints?
Shouldn't i tell him of the color he adds to my very being?
If i tell him could he ever return my feelings?
I see him again and my world bursts with color,
The same shades of gold and silver and red Mixed with the blue tones And the dull yet focusing layer of tears.
I stay strong,
He weakens me I will tell him He may reject me What do i care?
He shall know my feelings I care no more
I told him He laughed He smiled He rejected me I stay strong He still weakens me I care no more
The paintings are still there The colors of gold and silver and red The deep tone of blue The dull yet focusing tears He doesnt love me I still love him But now he knows of the colors he paints
In my minds eye i see him Shining bright I still love him My white pags still fill with color And there is still a glimmer of hope A glimmer that he will look in my lavender eyes And say he loves me too