Surrender; Destiny's Waiting
-Merlin fanfiction
by Steamcraft
His mother's rule of thumb was that if it wasn't an emergency, there was no excuse to be outside after dark. When Merlin was real young, this rule said "...no excuse to be awake after dark". There were some nights when Merlin couldn't sleep and he snuck down the stairs to listen to the people who came in to strike business with his grandfather. His grandfather, Lee Gaius, talked in hushed tones as he grounded herbs Merlin had helped collect days prior; mostly the leaves, as Gaius didn't want Merlin to accidently throttle flowers and their stems. Usually the arrangements were quick and quiet, but every other Sunday brought Kilhan Gareth, an aging man who spoke more cryptic puzzles than he did pleasantries.
He was the first werewolf Merlin officially met.
Merlin knew that there were people around that were werewolves, but just didn't tell anyone. It wasn't as if they were repressed; werewolves were a small percentage of the population, but they paid taxes like everyone else, had to follow the law. There were even werewolf protection rights. But there were no volunteers to educate about the werewolf lifestyle since no one talked about it; all hush-hush, like they were repressed. Merlin's mother had explained to him, though, that most werewolves believed to be in a class of their own, a higher social group than their middle class, and didn't cross well with others.
Kilhan Gareth wasn't like any werewolf Merlin (might have) met.
"Well, good evening, young Merlin," he said when he spotted an eight-year-old Merlin hiding behind the sector. Gaius looked up from his books with a disapproving eyebrow.
"Um, hallo. Jus'..." he glanced about, looking for a reason to be out of bed. "Jus' need a cuppa water." Merlin went around the counter to avoid his grandfather and reached on tiptoes to get a glass from the cabinet. It wasn't just quiet in the room now, it was very tense. Before Merlin was forced from his hiding spot, the two adults had been whispering an argument, it seemed. His grandfather was obviously waiting for him to leave, but Kilhan watched him fill his glass twice (to prove he was thirsty) with interest.
"Such a small boy for such a great Destiny, you are, Merlin," he said.
Before Merlin could ask, Gaius stopped working completely and stared at the man. "He is not one of you."
After a solid minute of silence, Kilhan smiled kindly. "Do not worry, Gaius. I'm just making a note of that which I have Seen."
"Merlin, bed," his grandfather said tersely. "Go to the loo on the way."
Merlin blushed, set his glass on the counter, and scurried out of the kitchen.
"Good night, Merlin," Kilhan called after him.
Kilhan didn't come back for a while after that night, which Merlin believed to be more of his grandfather's doing than Kilhan's choice. Both Gaius and his mother became strict with Merlin's curfew and found reasons for him to stay inside all day during the summer. They watched him with an overly cautious eye as school started again and became anxious when Merlin came home a few minutes late. Merlin didn't mind too much; he was being cared for, he thought, so it truly surprised him to see Kilhan, several months later, sitting at the kitchen table and talking with his mother one day after school.
Hunith smiled at him. "Merlin, baby, you remember Kilhan? He'll be around for supper for a while." Kilhan was watching him again, a golden glint in his eyes that Merlin missed before.
"Oh," Merlin could only say. Then, "Can I go play?"
"Homework, first."
His grandfather nor mother didn't right out to say Kilhan was a werewolf, but Merlin had his suspicions of what Gaius' clients were, what they needed herbs for, and why they came in the privacy of night. After the first few weeks, Kilhan was at the house for more than just dinner; he helped Merlin with school work over the weekends, picked up groceries and other errands for Hunith, delivered the herbal medications to Gaius' clients, and never was a surprise to see reading in the lounge. Kilhan was starting to become a regular parental-figure in Merlin's life, he realised much later. Slowly, Merlin's restrictions ebbed into guidelines.
A family moved into the empty house next door not long Kilhan was more or less a member of the household. (The architecture in the neighborhood was strange, houses built too closely together. Doors that lead to the alleyway had a roof covering above them, stretching about four feet in each direction for weather purposes. Also looking into the alleyway, upstairs and right above the door with the roof is a bedroom with a window.) Merlin had snuck into their hedges to get a closer look at the family, then proceeded to scream like a girl at a tap on his shoulder.
"Ya scream like a girl," earlier introduced as William Ealdorn (just Will, he'd said. William was the name of a dead poet) said.
Merlin huffed, but shared his chalk when they sat together on the sidewalk.
"I reckon ya will be in my class, yea?" Will asked.
"Probably."
"Any wolves in the school?"
Merlin shrugged; he didn't remember seeing any of the staff come to his house for his grandfather's medicines. "I don't think so, but who cares? They're just teachers."
"I mean are there any wolf kids? Kids born werewolves?"
Setting his chalk down, Merlin looked at Will, eyes wide. "There are kids that are werewolves?"
Will nodded. "Well, yea. I mean, how else is a grown up a werewolf if they're not bitten? I'm one."
"Liar," he scoffed, "You look normal to me." Kilhan at least had funny eyes and sharp nails and teeth.
"Because I am normal. The Changed are the weirdos."
"Changed?"
"Those askin' to become wolf."
They continued drawing, until Merlin stared at Will again. "If you're a werewolf, why did you admit to it?"
Will met Merlin's gaze. "Huh?"
"Werewolves," Merlin fumbled, "They don't like saying they're werewolves, or somethin'. Me mum told me once."
Will played with the chalk for a long moment, then said something wise for a near-nine-year-old. "I like me, and I'm not scared of tellin' about me."
Merlin nodded and stayed silent until it was time to go back inside. There was a quiet goodbye from Will, but Merlin was already shutting the door. His grandfather was in the kitchen making the herbs, and his mother was out with friends. Merlin went into the lounge where Kilhan sat reading a book Merlin couldn't pronounce the name of. He stood at the door, waiting to be noticed, and it didn't take long. Without a glance to him, Kilhan finished his page and set the book aside. He looked at Merlin with expectancy.
"Why didn't you say you were a werewolf?"
"Because it would have been redundant, as you already knew I was a werewolf. Correct?" Merlin's head bobbed, and Kilhan opened his arms in an inviting gesture. Often, he would climb on Kilhan's lap as the werewolf read or read to him. Merlin didn't hesitate to do that now. "Because of my werewolf traits, I normally don't need to explain to others what I am." He paused to sniff. "You smell like the young Ealdorn boy; what did he tell you?"
"He asked me if there were any werewolves at school, werewolf kids. I didn't know there was such a thing, is he lying?" Merlin asked.
Kilhan shook his head. "Not at all. Werewolf families are all over the place, and a mother and father who are werewolves will, naturally, have werewolf children. I know the Ealdorn family, helped them move next door. They are werewolves, as is their son." He studied Merlin's face. "Does this bother you?"
Merlin thought a moment on it, and shrugged. "I don't know. Mum says they don't like others, but Will's nice and I want to be friends with Will, but he'll only want to be friends with werewolves and I don't want to be a werewolf just to be someone's friend and I don't want to change, or- or 'Change' and why did you ask for that?" He took a deep breath, and wondered sheepishly if he could ask questions about Kilhan. Kilhan hummed.
"Not everyone asks for it, young Merlin," Kilhan said with an edge. "To be Changed. There are those who are bitten without permission."
"...were you?"
The werewolf grinned. "No, young Merlin, I wanted to be Changed so I could be with my pack. My pack was quite extraordinary, and I loved them dearly. I miss them just as equally." He continued before Merlin could ask about his pack. "But the point is that not every werewolf is the same, like how not every child is the same, especially not young William. He's not a quiet boy, that is for certain. Try being his friend, and if he asks you to be different, then I'm wrong. And you know, there is a great chance that you're already friends with werewolves, young Merlin; keep your mind open to everything; werewolves are not any different from you, or your mother, or your grandfather.
"Did I help ease your thoughts?"
Merlin nodded with a smile. "Thank you, yes."
The next day, Merlin went to Will's door, and Will's mother greeted him kindly with punch and biscuits while he waited. She asked him his name, how long he lived in the neighborhood, and if he liked the school. She hinted that Will needed to make friends around these parts, but said nothing of them specifically being werewolves. She didn't mention werewolves at all, Merlin noted. When Will came down, Merlin shuffled to his feet and stared at the floor. "I was a right tit yesterday."
Will crossed his arms. "Yea, ya kind of were."
"I'm sorry."
"Yea, ya kind of look it."
Merlin glanced at Will, who was smirking. He grinned, too. "Want to be my friend?"
"Stupid, we already are. Wanna come see my room?"
Merlin learned then that maybe his mother was wrong sometimes: he found out that several of his friends at school were werewolves or had werewolf relatives, their parents just as friendly and inviting. Kilhan later explained that it was mostly certain families that married specially with other werewolf families that were old fashioned and stuck to old customs. Merlin liked being human, and no one asked him to change. What Merlin liked most, however, is that Will's bedroom looked into Merlin's from across the alleyway. That week, the locks on the windows were broken and the roof ledges were used more than the sidewalks for many years to come.
/ - / - / - / Sixteen Years Later / - / - / - /
"Merlin? Merlin, baby, are you up? You're going to be late." His mother knocked on the door.
Merlin blearily opened his eyes, confused. He rolled over and asked, "What time is it?"
"Ten-forty-three."
"Oh, shit..." Wide awake, Merlin leapt from bed in an immediate search for his trousers, wondering if he had turned his alarm on last night. "Thanks, Mum!" he called as he heard her go downstairs again. Hopping into a pair of trousers, he picked up a shirt and sniffed it; it was decent, and he threw it over his head. He tracked his phone, wallet, and name badge as he got his shoes on and went to the bathroom to tidy up. As Merlin thought he would pick something to eat from work, his mother knocked again, and he opened the door to find toast.
Hunith gave a raised eyebrow while he swept down and kissed her on the cheek and took the toast with his mouth. "T'anks, Mum," he garbled. Merlin took it out and grinned, "What would I do without you?"
"Starve," she said simply. "You would be too busy to think about eating. Now hurry, baby; fifty-five, now. I've called and let Lance know you would be late. Kilhan's gone until Sunday, so see if Will or Lance can give you a ride home tonight."
When Merlin was hired at the radio station, he made enough for a flat share, but Will (his planned flatmate) decided to stay in the house he grew up in when he met his Destined a few years ago and wanted to have a family soon. Will's parents had moved out when Freya came into the picture, and the pair of them made house payments to his parents. Merlin had lived on his own for a while, but found he missed the company; being his mother, Hunith picked up on his loneliness immediately, and she and his grandfather devised the near-same set up.
"A boy needs his mother in his life, you know that, right?"
"Get going, Merlin!" Hunith laughed, and he dashed by her, back into his room and right out the window. He jumped the two-feet gap in-between the ledges and pushed open Will's bedroom window. "Will, mate! Can you give me a lift?"
The room, with closet and door leading to the hall, was a mirror replica of his own in size. While Merlin's bedroom was generously decorated with a few hanging pictures and plants, Will's walls were lost under a mix of band and movie posters. The flat surfaces littered candles, paper trash, hygiene products, accessories, remedy herbs and flowers, and a pink make-up bag. Clothes were strewn across the floor, dark jeans and tee-shirts, skirts and flowery blouses, and... Merlin looked away from the frilly pair of woman's underwear quickly when the door opened and in came Freya wrapped in a towel.
"Heya, Merlin," she greeted him with a hug. Merlin returned it, leaning over her pregnant stomach to give her a proper hug. "Will's downstairs. Can you do me a favor, though, and look under the bed for my yellow shoes?"
As he crouched beside the bed, Merlin said, "Mum's inviting you and Will over this weekend for dinner. She also wants Will to bring his parents if he can." He carefully avoided the condom wrapper that had gathered dust and moved Will's dirty clothes. A spot of dull yellow, and Merlin reached, but his fingers barely brushed the shoes. He lied on his stomach.
"And here I thought Hunith wouldn't want Will around her kitchen anymore," Freya joked as she slipped into some clothes.
"Er, no..." He stretched and found another pair of trousers. He looked underneath and couldn't see the shoes. "That's Gilli, but Mum says he's not to go farther than the eating room. Freya, I think the floor ate your shoes."
Freya ignored his comment. "I like our get-togethers. They're always so fun, we should do them more often; I don't see Iseldir laugh so much." She came close and playfully kicked him in the shin. "And I do recall someone unable to stop staring at Mithian, Merlin."
Merlin coughed delicately. "A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman, Freya. Her new haircut is nice." He poked his head in and lifted a shirt that Merlin hadn't seen Will wear in a year. He would definitely need to wash his hands, but he grabbed the slip-ons and backed out. Freya grinned and took them from his hand.
"Thanks. I can hardly tie my shoes any more," she said. "I'll talk to Will. You best get going!"
"Make sure you see Mum after you get your pictures," he reminded as he left the room and flew down the stairs. Hunith had been keeping up with Freya's pregnancy (six months in) and doted her like a precious daughter, even sympathising with a frightened Will when Freya's hormones gave her the title of Scariest Woman Alive. Gaius helped with concocting organic teas for her morning sickness, and Mithian was thankful for Merlin's family as no one in the pack had any knowledge about pregnancy. Sometimes, she was as frazzled as Will.
Will was sixteen when he met Mithian and her pack at a rally he skipped school for. Merlin was told a story of heroism, where his best friend saved a pack's alpha from two free-form wolves when the crowd became a riot at the spokeman's provoking. Alator, Mithian's right-hand-man, quietly explained that Will's thoughtless bravery to keep the peace and protect their alpha was a rare sight to see nowadays.
His heroic friend had all the time to introduce Merlin to his new packmates in community service after the Met and Special Forces Unit intervened and arrested all those participating in Wolf Battles, wolf-formed and not.
To be honest, Merlin was cautious of Mithian at first. Will had always been picky about joining packs, too stuck on finding a pack alpha that would remind him of his parents, but shortly after Merlin found what was appeasing about her. Mithian was like a mother and an older sibling, firm and gentle; teasing and protective. The pack brothers, Alator and Iseldir, were just as friendly, if a lot less smiling.
"Will!" Not in the living room, Merlin turned the corner to see Will standing over the toaster in the kitchen. The toast had popped and was badly burnt. "Alright, mate?"
Will started, looking over his shoulder. "Hey, mate. Why aren't ya at the station?" Merlin studied his longest friend, noticing the troubled creases in his frown lines and the distracted look in his eyes.
"Need a lift, if that's okay?" He nodded to the toast. "Breakfast?" Will looked at the toaster again, sighed, and tossed the ruined toast.
"Not anymore." He picked his keys up from the counter and went towards the garage door. "Let's go."
On the road, Merlin stared hard at his friend while the radio played the station Merlin worked at. They've been silent since they got in, and Merlin was beginning to worry. "What's wrong?" Will's jaw set a little firmer, but Merlin knew since he didn't say "nothing" he would answer him.
Few minutes later, Gwen's voice came from the radio when the list of songs ended. "Brilliant way to start the morning, if you're just waking up. Lucky you all, I've been sucking coffee since six! Stay tuned to noon, be a caller and answer our Wizard's questions, and you'll have a chance to win our give-away! Two free tickets to see Excalibur in concert next month! Our number is (1) 1-777-9303, good luck! Here's Excalibur now, with their newest hit single: Long Live the King."
Will leaned over and shut the radio off. "Bloody hate Excalibur," he muttered before falling quiet again. Merlin raised an eyebrow.
"Well...?" he prompted finally.
"We might have to move."
"What do you mean?" A hand went over Will's head, and Merlin just realised how messy his hair was, how much something was stressing him.
"The other night," he started, "When we left your place, Mith told me an' Mordred some bad news she's been gettin' from the Druid Pack families. She says the Pendragon Pack is comin' closer to city. They're a damn territorial bunch, startin' Battles to gain more territories, regardless of the new laws. If they come in an' start trouble, Alator an' Iseldir suggested we move out. She's not exactly pleased 'cause Mordred's still livin' with his da an' Gilli's in school. ...I was plannin' on havin' m kids grow up here."
Merlin stared, feeling a numbness settle inside him. "W-was?"
"Am, no- yea-" He growled and thumped the wheel hard. His accent came out thicker: "I dunno! I wanna stay, but this is me pack; I need ta take some responsibility to it. But I've lived here nearly me whole life, an'... an' you're me best friend, Merl! Freya's not inna state ta move, an'- bugger it all, she don't even know!"
He paused, calming down some. "I want to keep her safe, mate. She's everythin' to me. Yea, there's you an' my pack brothers, but... Freya's my Destiny, understand?"
Not really, Merlin thought, feeling completely selfish. He knew what a Destiny was, a werewolf finding their mate, but Merlin didn't understand how marriage was different.
"So, you're leaving then," Merlin said slowly after a long moment, looking out the window. There was a store at the corner that didn't sell to werewolves, and had a quote painted on the side in large black letters: LIBERTY FOR WOLVES IS DEATH TO THE LAMBS. -ISAIAH BERLIN. Merlin never went there, and didn't know anyone else who did.
"If the Pendragons come in any closer, then maybe."
Will pulled into the lot and Merlin got out. "Thanks. Can you pick me up tonight, mate? Kilhan's gone for the week."
"Sure, mate, might be a little late," he said, "Mum and Da wanted to see her ultrasound pictures."
"Sounds good, give them a hello for me." A wave and a honk, Will was gone and Merlin went inside dragging his feet. He knew it wasn't fair to Will, or Freya, but Merlin felt like latching on Will's arm and saying he couldn't leave, that he met him first, and just leave his pack, yeah? But Merlin knew that Will would never become Lone when he had a lovely pack family. Maybe it was Mithian Merlin wanted to curse at, then; she should have just been grateful someone came to her aid instead of whisking Will out of his life some years later.
He sighed, knowing his anger was being misplaced. Will was a big part of his life, the only honest friend he had before meeting Gwen and Lance at the radio station. School took the people he grew up with, and people also grew up, moved away, had families and other friends. Merlin hung on to the people he cared about and didn't like letting go.
"Merlin!" Lance greeted him, and Merlin stopped feeling sorry for himself to grin at his boss. Lance was Merlin's only other werewolf friend, Changed at a young age, Lance once shared. "Good to see you, feeling okay?"
"Alright," he shrugged. "Got a lift from Will."
"Need to get yourself a car, Merlin," he teased.
Merlin grinned wider, and returned, "Need to marry Gwen, Lance." He ducked under the reaching arm, and opened the door to the studio and closed it quickly behind him, laughing.
"Hey, Merlin!" Gwen sat at the table, headphones around her neck and microphone poised toward the ceiling. Merlin sat across from her and put his own headphones on. "Quick briefing: Bayard declined the interview for next week, and Lot hasn't returned our call. However, Elena did call back to confirm the live show for tomorrow. And we've been getting calls in for songs mostly on the instrumental-alternative side today; can you lead us away from that?"
Merlin nodded and turned towards the laptop to look at the list of songs played. "Yeah, okay. We'll just throw in a bit of Samhain Terror and maybe Faeries!, if not Lady of the Lake." He created the playlist and nodded again to himself as the current song ended and went on to Samhain Terror's The Veil. He turned on his microphone and while the song built up to the rift, Merlin leaned forward.
"Good morning everyone, Wizard here next to Nightingale. Great to be here, and yeah, I know I said I would start you all off with some Green Knight this morning, but I woke up late. Tragic thing is I came into work anyway. Green Knight after the Excalibur ticket give-away, though! Make sure you call in for your chance to win! As always, you can call us at (1) 1-777-9303, or log into our website: and join the shout out on the homepage. Here's Samhain Terror!" He turned his microphone off as the song started their lyrics.
Gwen smiled. "Great, thanks. I'm going to get some more coffee, want some?"
"Nah, it'll get cold while you flirt with Lance," he joked, and couldn't avoid the playful slap on his arm this time. He leaned back to continue working on the playlist until it filled his work hours. He placed in a lot of random genres during the middle as that was around the time listeners called in and requested songs that had been stuck in their heads. Merlin liked the random variety.
As it neared noon, the phones were tied up. There were many that called thirty minutes early, but Lance didn't keep them on the line, finding it unfair. Merlin always encouraged them to call back closer to the deadline, and thank you for listening to Camelot Radio. He kept an eye on the time as each of them hanged up. Gwen kept speaking, advertising the giveaway, and then finally 11:59 rolled on to 12:00 as Merlin turned on his microphone and chose a blinking, hopeful red light at random. He leaned forward, grinning as his friend gave a cue for his entry.
"That's right, Nightingale; time is up! We have our contestant on the line right now to see if they can answer a random-topic question," he announced, then addressed the caller. "Hello, are you with us?"
"I am," a man's voice came from the speakers.
"Thanks for calling! Who am I speaking to?"
"I'd rather not say, if its all the same," he replied.
"That's fine. Great, nice for you to join us on the show today! Are you ready for your chance to win two free Excalibur tickets? Mind you, they'll be great seats."
"May I ask something first, Wizard?"
Noticing Gwen's raised eyebrow, Merlin quickly eyed Lance through the window, who shrugged and gave a relenting nod. "Sure, what's that?"
Years later, Merlin still wouldn't be sure if that was the right thing to do. Part of him wondered what it would be like if he pushed toward the contest, never gotten into the provoking conversation over live radio. Sometimes he wondered if he would have been happier on the path that led him to Arthur. Meeting Arthur would have been inevitable, but Merlin liked a path not so crossed with bloodshed.
"What are your reasons to being human?"
He looked at Gwen, frowning. They weren't to get into any politics until Monday, so he kept light of the matter. "As opposed to what, a cat?"
The speaker didn't laugh. "Funny. A werewolf, of course. Changed."
"The law, for one," he listed shortly. "Personal choice, secondly. Genetics, comes in third." When there wasn't an immediate reply, Merlin said almost irritably, "Sorry, can we begin the giveaway?"
"Perhaps I should introduce you to a greater reason," the caller answered vaguely. Lance knocked on the window, making a cutting action across his throat, telling Merlin to hang up the call.
"Pardon, wh-" Was he being threatened? It didn't sound much like a threat as it did a promise, though.
"Have a good day." The line went dead, and Merlin's befuddled head whisked around where Lance continued to rap on the window, a concerned expression on his face. Merlin glanced at Gwen who stared at him, and he forced himself to say something, aware that all was silent on the station.
"...well, Night-ingale. What do you make of that, a chance of losing two free tickets to one of the most popular groups of the year?"
"There have been stranger calls, Wizard. Fish and chips is all I need to say."
"Haha, that's a day I'll never forget. Let's give this another go! Next caller, I'm sure you want these tickets right?" He pressed a red light, and started again.
When it came time to shut down the station and leave the automated player going throughout the night, Lance stopped Merlin at the door. "Do you need a ride? I wouldn't mind giving you one, you know that, Merlin."
Merlin zipped up his jacket. "I'm fine, really. Will will be here soon."
"I can stay with you until he arrives."
"What, and miss your date? Don't think Gwen would be too pleased."
"Merlin."
The shorter of the dark-haired men glanced at his friend sheepishly. "I'm not worried about that call from earlier, really. There have been weirder people to call in, you remember the one about the fish and chips."
Lance ignored the last comment, and his hand went to his hair in a frustrated motion. "You might not be, but I am bothered by this. We advertise the station's location everywhere, and the Moon is coming up; wolves get crazier. And you might not be familiar with the werewolf politics within packs, but the Essetir family has been the result of three deaths in the passed year, and possibly twenty or more Changed."
Merlin blinked, surprised. "And authorities…?"
"Unable to prove, even with the Special Forces Units." Lance growled, his expression dark. "Apparently a scent of someone isn't actual evidence. To get a wolf at the crime they need fur and print samples."
"I've never heard of the Essetir pack," Merlin confessed.
"Wolves aren't really supposed to talk about other packs to humans unless related." Lance explained, "Essetir are more or less like… I guess you could say they're about the equivalence to a group of assassins. Their alpha is ruthless, and nearly caused dispute in my own pack awhile back."
Merlin nodded, the news that Lance had a pack new to him, but not surprising; Lance would be the perfect sort to have an extended family to take care of. He took out his cellphone and keyed in the emergency number.
"I'll just have to hit send," he said. "You don't need to fret now. Go have a good night with Gwen, and I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
Lance didn't look too reassured, but in the end he nodded. "Alright. I expect you bright and early tomorrow. Some Round Table, okay?" Merlin agreed, and Lance left, a little late for his date.
Fifteen minutes into the wait, he climbed and sat on top of Camelot Radio's sign, open phone on his lap. Merlin stopped watching the people walking pass apprehensively and relaxed, eventually returning a few texts and playing a couple games on his phone.
A lorry slowed and pulled into the entrance. Merlin looked up expectantly, but the truck's headlights weren't the same as Will's, nor were they familiar. He fumbled with his phone, and dropped it on the concrete while getting down from his seat.
Shit, he thought and quickly reached for it. The back popped off, and the battery tumbled somewhere that his fingers thankfully found. He kept eyeing the strange truck and the man in the driver's seat as it coasted closer. Merlin pocketed the pieces and swore under his breath as he steeled himself to go to the passenger window when it parked.
"We're closed, mate," he said.
The man was scarred on his face, his DNA-altered, golden-colored irises hidden in a mast of marred flesh. He watched Merlin, focused on the way he swallowed nervously, becoming only slightly frightened. Only slightly? he thought hysterically. He might piss himself.
"Oh, are you?" his voice too familiar. Merlin wondered if that was his panicked brain trying to place the voice to the caller from that afternoon. "I had heard I could pick up a job app, I guess I could come by in the morning."
"Yeah," Merlin nodded too quickly. "Yeah, the morning will be super. We'll be open and everything."
The Changed man continued to watch him, expression puzzled as he sniffed the air. "Pardon my saying, but you don't have a wolf scent."
"Ah," he breathed. "I- I suppose I don't. Nope, all human here. Really bad odor and whatnot. Um."
"It's just I sense great potential from you, a legendary Destiny, and you don't have an inch of the itch."
"Look," Merlin said suddenly, palms sweating, "If I offended you earlier somehow, I apologise, truly, I do. I have nothing against the Changed, or werewolves in general, and I've spent my entire life human and I'd really like to die that way, too, not to say that I want to die soon or anything, and crike I'm not saying you're coming for me, just need to let you know that I don't want conflict with anyone and- and-" He swallowed his tongue.
The man was taken back. "No harm?" he said hesitantly. "While I can make no promises about letting you perish human, I apologise, myself. I wasn't altogether this morning. I'm Edwin."
"Merlin." He was extremely proud of himself for not stuttering then.
"The famous radio Wizard," Edwin nodded to himself mostly. "You stand corrected, however, that there is a far greater reason for you to Change. One that I didn't realise was so massive." He stared at Merlin in something akin to awe, but made Merlin's skin crawl. The glint in his eyes might have been close to hunger.
"Do you normally go around radio stations looking for victims?" Merlin bit out, becoming defensive a little too late. "It must be painstaking to stalk them and somehow know when they're needing a ride and their mate's late."
"I'm thankful to my pack's Seer," Edwin laughed. "As for the radio station victims, there was only you; I heard you this morning, different than normal. I knew I had to Change you myself, I just wasn't aware of this potential hidden within you."
Oh, it was definitely hunger in his gaze, now.
"What the fuck does-"
"And if I don't Change you, who will?"
Merlin had little time to react to a transforming wolf leaping at him straight out the window, but he dodged underneath Edwin's massive, open maw and roll away from the beast. The werewolf landed, slowly turning towards him. Edwin was sandy, like his hair color (they usually are), and stood to Merlin's belt, completely animal.
Not everyone had a Reaction, a defect during the bite of the Change. They were sometimes fatal, and but Reactions were becoming increasingly common. Some argued that these were results from hormones in the food, the same way teens were maturing too quickly, but instead of eating, the danger was passing on the werewolf gene without being born into it. Hence the new laws to preserve the diminishing human race.
There were a list of known Reactions, from merely changing physical appearances to running away with wild wolves. Death was a possible option, as was turning into a half-human, half-wolf-like-monster, and out-of-Moon transformations- which Edwin must have gained in his Reaction, which was very much unfortunate for Merlin, who definitely couldn't match speed against a wolf.
He scrambled backwards, his hands searching wildly for some sort of weapon to appear under him like in the films. Gravel scuffled to taunt him. Edwin edged nearer, buying his time as he circled around, until he found fit to lunge, snarling and barring three inch fangs.
His knees kept the distance that saved him from being bitten, and he swung at the wolf, avoiding the mouth but aiming for the throat. The adrenaline coursing through him didn't pay heed to the scratches he was getting, just fightfightfightsurvive!
Familiar breaks came to a sudden stop, and distracted Merlin just for a second, screaming, "WILL!" The relief weakened his hold against the thrashing Edwin. The wolf bit angrily at the air right in front of Merlin's nose, and Merlin shifted his leg to aim a proper kick in the wolf's gut, but
"MERLIN!"
it took that one little give for the werewolf to lunge forward and sink his teeth into Merlin's shoulder, so close to his jugular.
Merlin screamed, fury- agony- he screamed loud, hands reaching to do some sort of damage in return. He grabbed Edwin's loose skin, and pulled, and shoved, and- and- Will was yanking the wolf from him straight from his snarled muzzle, removing his teeth from the puncture holes. Merlin's opposite hand clamped over the wound, gushing blood, and he honestly tried to roll over, to help Will who couldn't shift out of the Moon's cycle, but-
But the world tilted, his heart speeding up, skipping beats, his brain- vision- concentration feeling exactly like a photo shutter, and he knew he screamed again, and- and this is much worse than everything I've read about Changing, he thought in between pulses of pain. There was a loud whimper of pain that he tried to focus on, but couldn't; the saliva seeped deeper into his tissue and changed his very core. He was Changing.
Merlin didn't know how long he lied there withering on the ground, trying to calm his heart rate, but Will's hand was on him suddenly, wet with blood. The copper smell made Merlin's stomach roll, but he still reached for it, wanting to shove it in his mouth and grind his teeth on something other than his own tongue.
"Merlin! Merlin- are ya- oh god, Merl, Merlin-" Will gripped his arm, laid him flat, as much as he would turn. "Merlin, Merlin- you're Reacting, you're having a Reaction, Merl-"
"No, no, no, nonononononono..." he groaned in reply. His shoulder was on absolute fire.
"- mate, we need ta get you- no, no, Merl, mate, stay awake!" Will slapped him, and Merlin stared up at him in shock. "We need ta get ya to a hospital, 'kay? Where's your phone- your phone, you goddamn idiot!"
"Pock..."
"Stay 'wake, Merl, ya gotta do that-"
"I can't, Will- Will, I'm- I've... wolf-"
"You'll be fine, just don't ya bloody shut your eyes, damn you!"
Merlin laughed with a raw throat, hysterical. "I- I can't die, Will- I've got- got a Destiny..." And with that statement, he was able to soothe an inner turmoil that was raging against the darkness edging around his vision and fall into the void.
/ - / - / - / *** / - / - / - /
There was a time when he walked by these woods without a thought. Now he stopped by for every scent he passed; he hadn't been here, though he smelled those who have come long before him. Weeks... Months, even. He'd need to check back there again.
It was a quieter night, especially so far from the city, so the birds and the gaining wind and how it rustles through the pine distracted him easily. There was a stream deeper in the woods, he can smell the run off, hear the trickling, but he didn't dare tread further in in bashfulness. There had been howling. There are wolves nearby.
Occasionally, the wolves traveled close by to where he could hear the pack move together, scuffling, stopping to howl. It was a wonderful sound, and he wanted to tilt his head toward the sky and give an answering call of his own. He wasn't feeling too shy anymore; the wolves had gotten him excited, joyful, and perhaps maybe they would let him join the hunt.
He called out, howled to the sky, no moon in sight. He asked. He needed their permission, or should he run.
The pack came closer, he could smell them now. No more than eight, no less than five. They were coming toward him, a short howl being returned. It told him to stay where he was at the edge of the wood.
When the seven of them stood at entrance of the wood, he could only stare in amazement. That was a pack? A magnificent pack it was, all tall and broad, coats groomed. Two crept forward, and one watched their movement carefully. The Alpha- he realised quickly. The two sniffed and danced around him, then one began snarling, and he shrunk back.
Please, he said. Let me hunt the night with you. I want the company. I've been so alone.
The Alpha was quick to answer, and howled sharply. The others echoed him, making a chorus of a haunted wolf song. Keep up, they'd said, and the pack began its trek, finding deer by the dozens.
And he tried, he honestly did, but they were much faster than he. And he fell behind.
And he was left behind.
When he howled, there was no reply.
/ - / - / - / *** / - / - / - /