Chapter 2 – Nowhere to Now Here
Walking solemnly to her dorm room, Peyton made her way across the quad with too many things on her mind. She wanted more than anything else to just put on her favorite mix cd and sink into her bed. Today had not been one of her best and slowly everything was beginning to form a mountain of disaster right before her. Little did she know that tonight this mountain would crash down and pin her beneath the debris.
"Peyton!", a voice called clearly from behind her. A voice she had tried, unsuccessfully, to block from her memory.
"Peyton!"
No. No. This was not happening. She refused to believe he was here. He could not be here.
"Peyton, stop." His voice was but a whisper now as he stood behind her, and she couldn't help but breathe in his presence as she slowly turned around. He reached out and grabbed her clammy hand in his, a gesture that was decidedly unexpected with the way they had left things a year ago.
"Peyton." Vivid green blue eyes searched hers in vain for any sign of emotion, but she had long ago learned to hide her feelings behind a blank mask.
"I…I don't know what to say. It's been so long." He looked down, still holding her hand firmly in his, seemingly looking for words in the ground below them.
"It's just…I miss you." He finally looked up and his piercing gaze served to strengthen the words he had just uttered. She could feel the desperation in those words and she did not like that at all.
From the time he had called her name until now, she hadn't closed her eyes in fear of pushing out the tears that had filled them.
"Damn it, say something already!" He grabbed her other hand and held both tightly in front of him. Then without warning her cell phone vibrated twice in her pocket, startling both of them. She pulled her hands out of his immediately and unzipped her pocket, grateful for the time this had given her to gather the thoughts that were swirling dangerously within her mind. Pretending to read a message, she quickly weighed her options and chose the one that seemed easiest right now.
"I…I have to go, ok?" she said, risking a quick glance at him to see the expression she thought would cover his face, one of relief or even defeat. Instead she saw eyes filled with hurt and a face trying to hide that.
"You can't run anymore and you know it! It's not fair to either of us," he said, anger easily replacing the pain in no time. Not allowing herself to think anymore, she brushed past him but did not get far before picking up his familiar scent. A flood of memories hit her so hard she could barely catch her breath, but she kept walking, not wanting him to see the tears that were now flowing freely down her face. No matter what he said or did, nothing could change was had happened between them. Why didn't he understand that?