One morning, Mario was resting in his bed. He stretched his arms out, opened his eyes and sprang out of bed. "Yahoo!" he said. "I can't wait to forcibly place all my weight upon living creatures until they die!" Mario grabbed his hat, put on his overalls, and ran straight out of the door.

Mario ran out the door, feeling the wind tickle his mustache. Mario prepared to move forwards and jump when he saw a Goomba, but something was off… He took a good long look at the goomba, first at its head, then looking down. Mario gasped as he noticed what was wrong: the Goomba had a big-ol' pair of DD titties. Mario, out of fear, squished the goomba and its big-ass boobs, and ran forwards. "At least it was only that one Goomba. Maybe Goombas just look like that sometimes."

Mario continued jollily, but stopped when he saw three more Goombas, each with bigger breasts than the last. Mario ran in the other direction, only to duck as a Bullet Bill flew above him. He turned around, only to see that there were some big-ass Bullet bazongas on it.

"Why do all these enemies have tits?" questioned Mario, as he freaked out. He looked up, and saw a Thwomp. The Thwomp had- aw, do I even need to say it. The Titty Thwomp proceeded to give Mario a good, hard pounding.

Mario decided he had to get to the bottom of this. Or maybe the top. After all, these enemies had big boobies, not booties. Mario ran forth, avoiding titty enemy after titty enemy, until he reached Bowser's castle.

He went inside the castle, snuck past the guards (before you ask, yes.), only to be faced with a large pit of lava. He stared at the lava, only for a large fireball to burst out! But hold on a second. This wasn't any old fireball.

It was a huge, flaming breast!

Mario ran back, and took all the energy he could hold to jump over the lava pit. He turned around one alleyway, expecting to see Bowser, perhaps with his own set of bazongas, but instead was confronted with a weeaboo-ass Goomba with a drawing tablet!

"alright we just gotta… draw some.. big ol' badonkers on this chain chomp and… YEAAAAAAAAH! HOOOOOOOOOO! That's a sweet set of bazonkers! Some real hadonkeroos. A big ol' pair of hadinkerbonkonkeroonies." He clicked a button, and stared at a little longer. "You've done good, Gaijin Goomba," he proclaimed. "You've done good."

He turned around and saw Mario. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"I'm here to stop you!" Mario said.

"Oh that's what you think… but can you stop… THIS?" Gaijin Goomba said as he unzipped his pants revealing a two-inch long penis.

"You're really more pathetic than I thought," Mario proclaimed.

"SHUT UP YOU NERD!" The Goomba said.

Mario brought over his friend/enemy/? Waluigi, who proceeded to take a good, long laugh.

"WAHAHAHAHAHAAA!" Waluigi laughed, "YOU ARE PATHETIC COMPARED TO THE WAANDERFUL WALUIGI! NOW TRY THIS ON FOR SIZE!"

Waluigi unzipped his overalls. No one could quite tell how long his penis was, but it was so long, it stretched all across the bridge and bonked Gaijin Goomba right in the head. He got 100 points.

After that, the day was saved from that creepy pervert Goomba, and all the titty enemies were destroyed.

Or at least most of them, as the Chain Chomp he had made just earlier crept around the corner.

THE END