A/N: Okay, so this one-shot is a companion to another one-shot I wrote called Autumn. I highly recommend you read that one before you read this one (personally, I like it a lot better). I know it's a little early to be posting a fic about winter, but here in New England it gets very cold very fast and I was feeling in the mood! Who knows. I might even make this a trilogy and write a little springtime fic :)
"And that, McWhat-The-Hell-Is-Wrong-With-You, is why you never, ever, get in Abby's way in the Caf-Pow! machine line. Ever. It's worse that bumping into Gibbs when he has a full cup of coffee. I mean, since when do you drink Caf-Pows! anyway?"
I glanced up as Tony and McGee entered the bullpen and sat down, grinning as I realized what they were talking about.
"I had a long night, okay? Gibbs had me filing cold cases and said I couldn't leave until I finished."
"Yeah, but that still doesn't give you an excuse to cut Abby in line! What the hell is wrong with you, McGee?"
"I didn't even know she was there, Tony! I just went over to fill up a cup, and then the next thing I know, she comes barreling towards me at like 100 miles an hour, knocks me over, and gives me a black eye! I mean, how can you say this is my fault?"
"Well, considering Abby spends about 50% of her time standing in line at he Caf-Pow! machine, it's always a good idea to sort of check the premises before you decide get one."
"Tony's right, McGee," I said, smirking at the both of them. "You should know better. Abby can't go more than 5 hours without a refill. You should have been keeping track of time."
McGee rolled his eyes at both of us and winced- and when I looked over, I found that he indeed did have a painful-looking black eye, covered in Band-Aids, not doubt the guilt-driven handiwork of Abby. She had probably felt horrible- but then again, almost everyone in the building knew not to cut Abby in line. I don't know how McGee, of all people, could have forgotten.
Tony and I watched from our desks as McGee collected his things and started towards the elevator.
"Going home so soon, McRaccoon?" Tony asked, snickering.
"I'm going to the doctor to get my eye looked at," McGee replied coolly. I winced as I heard Tony snort. This had obviously been the wrong thing to say.
"Can anyone say softie? I mean, come on, McGee. It's just a little shiner. It should be gone in a few days. Do you really need to go and get a prescription for some thousand-dollar painkiller just for a black eye?"
"It hurts, okay, Tony?" Tony held up his hands as he smirked.
"Okay, okay. See you tomorrow. Oh, and while you're at the drugstore, you might want to pick up some makeup along with the painkillers. That eye is getting to look a little purple." McGee glared over his shoulder as he headed towards the elevator.
When McGee was gone, Tony smiled at me and shook his head. "Can you believe him?" he asked me, still grinning.
I rolled my eyes but smiled. Tony's smile was contagious.
"So what are you up to tonight?" I noticed the change in his tone almost instantly. Tony was so easy to read sometimes. Before, his voice had been light and carefree. Now, it was layered a strange, delicate curiousity- or concern- that mirrored the darkening sky outside. When I looked up at him, he had the same expression plastered across his face as he had had on that day in the fall. Care. Kindness. Warmth. His eyes were gentle and his lids collapsing slightly over his golden-green irises, his mouth curved but tense, the ghosts of small smile lines tracing across his cheeks like spiderwebs.
The expression, for some reason, frightened me.
Yes, we had kissed- but it had gone nowhere after that. We had come to a standstill, a draw of knowing that we cared for each other, and deeply, but not entirely sure how to express it.
I wanted to be with Tony. I wanted it badly. But I knew that neither of us was ready for a serious relationship yet, which ours was sure to be. Our friendship had already been serious. We were so close, so connected, we had practically become the same person- that is, before Somalia. Our bond had not been damaged after that summer- if anything, it had strengthened and hardened- but it had bent a little. Snapped us towards reality. Towards our true feelings.
"Umm. Nothing, really. Home. My book. You?"
I studied him, trying to detect some sort of reaction. But his expression remained as it was- soft and open.
"Same. Except probably a movie."
We looked at each other for a moment longer, our eyes locked together in some sort of tender struggle, until I stood up quickly, breaking the thick connection.
"Well. I will see you later," I said slowly as I collected my things, put on my orange and slung my bag over my shoulder.
"I will be right here." I smiled inwardly as I remembered how we had shared the exact words soon after I had come back from Somalia. Some things never change.
As I walked, somewhat quickly, toward the elevator, I glanced out the broad window that gave a perfect view of the State House and noticed it was snowing.
Snow was something I never saw in Tel Aviv. Like fall, winter was a dry, warm season, brown and rough and hot. But I loved the snow. I loved to run through it in the dark mornings, the flakes cascading gently and silently over everything like water droplets in slow motion, covering the ground and the trees in thin blankets of willowy cold. I loved when it embedded itself in my hair, clinging to ever fiber with tiny, geometric hands. I loved how it turned my face pink and raw, how it cracked open my lips and made my eyes swim with warm, dewey wetness.
I felt myself smile as I stepped into the elevator and traveled to the first floor. I had taken the bus to work today, which meant I would have to walk to the bus stop through the snow.
After I had exited the building and gotten to about the middle of the parking lot, I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around, my hand already at my gun, and realized it was just Tony. I heaved a sigh.
"You should not do that to me."
"Sorry," he said, smiling.
As he opened his mouth, I held up a hand for him to stop, knowing what was coming next, but he kept talking.
"Ziva."
I looked into his eyes, our faces a foot apart, our chests both heaving for the same reason.
He repeated my name. "Ziva."
"Tony," I replied, a weak attempt at some sort of humor. He smiled wider and continued.
"Okay. I've been wanting to say this for a really long time. And I know it's gonna be sort of hard to hear...or maybe not." He paused unexpectedly, leaving the air thick and unanswered.
I was listening so hard I heard someone insert a key into their car door and get in. I bit my lip, waiting for him to say something. He continued to look at me, and when I tipped my head to the side, he continued with a deep breath.
"I....I love you. I've loved you ever since....well, I don't even remember when I started to love you. But I know that I do. And I don't care if you don't...if you don't want anything to happen right now," he said quickly as he saw me try to interrupt. "I don't even care if you don't love me back. I just thought you should know."
My stomach plummeted towards the ground, leaving me out of breath and silent and happy and tearful.
He looked at me expectantly, his smile still in place but held there carefully, not wanting to change anything about this moment.
But I didn't say anything. Instead, I lurched clumsily forward, closing the gap between us, pushing my mouth hurriedly onto his.
Tony reacted quickly. He caught me as I leaned into his chest, wrapping his arms around me and deepening the kiss. I pushed frantically at his mouth with my own, moving my lips in strange, unpredictable patterns, his moving in wide, slow undulations that matched his heartbeat, steady and substantial beneath his shirt.
I heard the bus roar behind me and pass on because there was no one standing at the stop. I didn't care.
Tony pulled back for a moment, grinning. I looked into his green eyes and pushed towards him again, laughing. His mouth met mine for the third time in the past few months. It tasted better every time.
I could feel my nose and ears getting numb, my hair dampening from the small clumps of snow that had begun to accumulate through my hat. Again, I didn't care at all.
I smiled against Tony's mouth and he smiled back. I smiled because this was right, just as it had been back in the woods. I smiled because Tony was the one warm circle in the center of a freezing universe. And I smiled because he and I stood here, on a brittle, black night in a Washington parking, just kissing. Kissing like there was no tomorrow.
A/N: So whaddya think? I personally thought it was a little cheesy, but it seemed compatible enough with Autumn to post it as a companion. Drop in a review on your way out!