The idea for this came from a MSN conversation where me and Lykaios were talking about how mean Molly was to Sirius in OotP. And then we got onto the topic of the Giant Squid. Go read her story when she puts it up.

The song is owned by Sam. Who's gonna be reincarnated as a giant squid so he can win a bet by outliving me, and will sing his song to all the ships' sonar.

Sid sat on the bottom of the lake, glaring at the giggling mermaids passing by. Frivolous creatures. Couldn't keep a thought in their heads for longer than five minutes. But at least they could go to the surface. They didn't get rocks skimmed across the lake, with children screaming 'ten points if you get his head!'

He decided to float to the surface. It was cold down in the murky blackness, and up there he'd be able to sun himself. There was a boat he could capsize, but he decided against it. He'd just finished tidying up the bottom of the lake. Didn't fancy having skeletons littering it. Not again.

His head broke the surface, and he looked around. Some of the obnoxious children were sat by the side of the lake, sunning themselves. Sid performed the squid equivalent of sniffing. Should be in school, the lot of them. Others were paddling in his lake. And the boat…

…contained three of the children. He vaguely recognised them as the ones who'd come skinny dipping in the night. He didn't mind them. They always scared away the mermen, which made them friends of Sid.

Two of the children had their school ties around their heads, and were saluting him. This unfortunately made the boat sway rather dangerously. The other child was tied up, a gag in his mouth. His eyes were wide as Sid let a tentacle drift towards the boat.

"Oh Great Squid!" one of them shouted. "We come to offer you this… this… offering!"

"Oh Great Squid! We are not worthy of you! Please accept this young boy's life as a sacrifice to your greatness!"

Sid wrapped one slimy tentacle around the tied boy, lifting him closer to his rheumy eyes. Bit plump. Better to eat him than the other two- they both looked too lean to make a good meal. But Sid knew that eating the students was frowned upon by the man with the beard. He used to come out every so often and shout down to Sid, so Sid thought he'd better obey.

The boy was struggling now, and Sid shook him to make him stop it. Unfortunately, this made him start crying.

"Padfoot!" Someone was calling from the side of the lake. Three of the four players turned to look across, the boy in Sid's grip incapable of doing anything but whimpering. "Prongs!" Ah, it was the boy who controlled the other two.

The two in the boat started to giggle. "Busted."

"Bring Peter back right now!"

"Or what?"

"Or I'll castrate you!"

They paled, and turned back to Sid. "Oh Great Squid, can we have him back?"

"Yeah, because otherwise Moony really will castrate us." The other elbowed him. "Oh Great Squid."

Sid plonked his sacrifice back into the boat, and sunk back beneath the waves. Sometimes, it really touched him how much they cared. They really did. And that thought was enough to make him sing.

"Giant squid, giant squid. He will get your five quid…"