A/n: I was listening to the song All Or Nothing by O-Town. It made me think of my most recent ex. My boyfriend and I just broke up a day ago. I didn't cry then but I cried when I heard the song because it reminded me of him with the words. So, it might be a little sad. It kind of relates to how I felt and kinda still feel. It's deep. Deeper than anything I've felt or written before. However, the girl still likes him. I don't. He and I are just good friends. So, I wouldn't actually do what Ginny does. I swear it's not bad. Hope you like it.
Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter.
She stared out the window of her room, feeling so helpless and alone. She didn't know why. She didn't cry when it happened yet she was crying now, in the safety of her own room.
Ginny Weasley was sad. Her boyfriend of a month had just broken up with her. She had thought she loved him. He was always there for her and she for him but he had left.
She tucked a piece of stray red hair behind her ear and wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. She sniffed, allowing more tears to escape her brown eyes.
There was a knock on the door but she didn't answer. The person, she assumed it had been her mother or Ron, eventually gave up and left.
She looked over at her owl and began to cry harder. That's how he had told her. Through mail. He hadn't apparated and told her face to face. He had sent her a letter. She wasn't sure how he truly felt because she hadn't seen his face or heard his voice when he told her. All she could do was imagine his voice telling her. She let out three tears and that was all she shed that night.
She fell down onto her bed and cried harder into her pillow. She was confused. She knew she still liked him but she didn't know if he felt the same.
Harry Potter had always been a noble boy. Even from the moment she met him, she knew that. She knew his story, was as familiar with that as she was with the feel of his messy jet-black hair between her fingers and his hands roaming her back and his lips on hers.
It pained her, broke her, to think about those things. The things she had so enjoyed. Kissing him, running her hands through his hair, his hands roaming her back, his tongue in her mouth, his hands in her hair. They no longer existed. They were no longer a part of her, a part of her life. She missed them more than anything.
She looked out the window but didn't see his snowy owl fly to her window, as she had seen on so many occasions and late nights. She would no longer be able to share those intimate letters and moments with him.
He was on a mission. A quest more like. It was his duty, he felt. She knew that too. She only wished she could have helped in some way. She prayed so hard for his safety. She would die if anything were to happen to him.
She wiped away her increasing tear fall and sat up.
She wanted it all or nothing. She wanted him. She wanted them, together. She wanted the old times, the times to come, the roughness, the intimate moments. She wanted to have those with him again. But, she thought that would never be.
He was all she saw. He was the only thing on her mind. His face was there, in the back of her mind. She could still taste him, feel him. She got up and looked at her bed. An image of him and her on it, kissing passionately, went through her mind and she saw it all over again. It hurt but at the same time, it was nice.
Was it really over? Were they only close friends? Would anything ever be the same again? She didn't know. She could only hope.
She wanted it. All. Or nothing. She wanted him back. She wanted him in her arms.
She missed the way he held her in his arms, like he wouldn't ever let her go. She had felt so safe, so secure, so sure of everything. She felt like nothing could happen to her if she was in his arms.
Now, what filled her was emptiness, loneliness and pain. Hurt, sorrow and confusion haunted her dreams.
All or nothing at all.
She wanted him. She needed him. She had to have him.
She wanted it all or nothing. That's all there was to it. She wanted him back. She needed him back.
All or nothing. Now or never. When? If ever?
All or nothing.
It's over.
Not it's not. Not to her. It's not real.
It's all or nothing now.
Everything she ever needed, ever wanted, was gone. It had disappeared. Her life was dissolved. It was broken into a million pieces. Her heart was shattered. She was miserable. More miserable than she thought was possible.
She grabbed a small backpack and gathered a few belongings, such as clothes and memories she wanted, and stuffed them in.
She walked to her window, thinking. Thoughts were swirling around her head.
She could do it. She wouldn't. For him. For her family. For her friends. She wouldn't.
She climbed out the window and sat on the roof. She apparated to the ground in front of her house.
The night concealed her perfectly. Her red hair blew in the summer night breeze. Her eyes watered and she dabbed at them.
She looked at her house one last time. She gave it a small smile, knowing what she was doing.
Then she apparated. She was still crying.