Her Stand
Summary: Twice he tried to leave her, and the three times she stood in his way.
Disclaimer: I do not own Hana Yori Dango
A/N Dedicated to Francine Thitade, for requesting.
(-)(-)(-)
The first time he tried to leave her, he treated her with the same impersonal curtsy he'd treated all his women. It wasn't right that they were together. She wasn't his type at all. Things weren't resolved between her and his best friends, and he didn't need the complications. They were both young, and simply caught up in the excitement of a forbidden relationship. They'd both get over it and move on.
At least that's what he told himself.
Tsukushi Makino. Once, on a moonlit night on an empty playground, contemplating their lot in life, he looked at her and thought of how easily she'd complete him, if he but let himself reach for her. But he knew what was brewing between her and his friend, his brother. So he'd held himself back. Purposefully distancing himself on all their outings together. With Rui at her side, and any number of companions at his own, it wasn't difficult. He'd help things along and calmed things down, when the situation called for it, but there was really no need for him to interact too much with her.
He wouldn't fall for her, no matter how pretty she grew or how her strength awed him, it wasn't his job to be by her side and love her.
Months passed, he watched her fall deeply in love with Tsukasa. He helped them through the onslaught of his mother's disapproval, and had encouraged her along with his friends when her love forgot her. Whatever feelings she'd sprouted in him, were long since gone.
But then things had changed. Tsukasa was called over to New York, a new fiancée had turned up, one that was as possessive as she was vicious. Tsukasa had to leave Tsukushi, to protect her and to get the fiancée out of the picture. She didn't even have Rui to turn to, for shortly after Tsukasa's departure Rui's father had had a heart attack, forcing him to leave her side for the Europe office.
All he had meant to do was cheer her up. He'd heard she was having trouble at school, with the usual people as well as her college courses. He took her under his wing. Protecting her, in his own way, from her petty classmates, and tutored her whenever her schedule was free. She even stayed over at his house a few times, when their study session ran too long. His mother adored her, and his sisters idolized her. That was fine, wasn't it? She was his friend. No big deal. And if his men bowed to her and called her "Ojou", it was just their habit. So, she was closer to him than any girl, there was no reason for him to think that anything would change between them, none at all.
Until he'd found her at the junk yard with a baseball bat, beating the hell out of everything in sight. She had skipped class that day, and no one knew where she'd gone. But he knew she'd been expecting a call from Tsukasa all week, the first in months. He could guess how the conversation went. She was angry, undeniably so, but tears were running down her face.
He'd come up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "Tsukushi." She struggled against him, but soon dropped the bat and turned to sob into his shirt.
"That bastard, I'll never forgive him." She clutched at his shoulders, and cried as he'd never seen a woman cry. As if she'd saved up years worth of tears. He held her, patting her hair, until her sobs finally subsided. She wrenched herself out of his arms, as if embarrassed by her outburst. "I'm through with him." She sniffed. "I'm through with all men. I'll call for mass castration. Just watch."
He chuckled. Her rage now had simmered down to something of an irate kitten. Without thinking about it, he bent down to kiss her cheeks, an act he'd done countless times for his sisters. But the minute his lips touched her skin, something came alive inside him, turning the chaste gesture into something else entirely. He kissed her cheeks, tasting the salt of her tears, then moved to her lower jaw, and then her slender neck. He heard draw in a sharp breath, and turn her head to give him better access. He couldn't think, his mind had gone completely blank. All he thought about was her…touching her, tasting her…he couldn't stop. His mouth found hers, steeping himself on her taste. He'd never craved for someone so much. Later he'd wonder over his reaction. Why, after so many, was she the one that seemed to drown him?
Then his phone rang, effectively breaking the spell that had come over them. On a gasp they jumped apart, staring wide-eyed at each other. Akira couldn't here anything above the thunderous beat of his heart. He saw Tsukushi bring a trembling hand to her lips.
Suddenly he felt guilt swallow him up. What was he doing? For all he knew, she had just broken up with her boyfriend. He had no business devouring her when she was in such a state. He was better than that. What the hell had come over him?
He turned from her, unable to look her in the eye. It was then he'd gotten a good look at the damage she had done. "Damn, Tsukushi, what did the poor cars do to you?" Several old station wagons were pounded beyond all recognition. "You're like a weapon of mass destruction, aren't you?"
The comment surprised a giggle out of her. "It was either these beat up cars, or Domyouji's fat head." They went silent, then, "I…don't regret it, Akira."
He turned to look at her, wondering how she'd gotten that close without him sensing it. "Tsukushi…"
She shook her head. "I hope you won't either. Yes, I am hurting right now, but I really do think this is it for Domyouji and me." He knew what she was asking him, and the rational side of him told him it was a bad idea, but another part, a much stronger part, was telling him that this might be his last chance at something he'd never have again.
And so they were together. She got over Tsukasa, and was beginning to look at him more and more. On his part, he found he wanted no other but her. It was as if a whole new world was opened up to him. They had picnics, went to movies and just spent time doing little things together. It wasn't long before they were lovers, and soon after for his heart became irrevocably hers.
The hardest part was keeping it secret. He didn't want her to be targeted by his enemies, or his ex-lovers, and he also didn't want to start a war with his brothers. He felt it was just a matter of time before Tsukasa returned, and he'd always had suspicions on Rui's feelings for Tsukushi. Of course, keeping anything from Soujiro had always been next to impossible, but he'd been too preoccupied with Yuki to ask too many questions.
It was their anniversary. He'd come home to their apartment, having moved in with her the month before, and began making preparations for dinner. Tonight he was to be formally introduced to her family, something that scared and delighted him at the same time. He set the timer on the oven, and noticed the red light on the answering machine.
"Yes, Makino-san? This is Matshita Associates." Ah, the law firm Tsukushi had applied internship with. "Unfortunately, we have to reject you application in our internship program. We were under the impression you were an upstanding young lady, imagine our surprise when we learned of your connection to a notorious Yakuza family." The woman's voice was unkind, and the tone she used was both pitying and disdainful. "To condone any business with criminals is not only unethical, it is foolish. We have, of course, notified all the law private firms in the district, should you think of continuing on this foolish path. I pray you rethink your loyalties. I would hate to think of a girl with such potential end up as the same filth on the street that supplement yakuza businesses." When the message ended, Akira felt the bottom drop out of his stomach. When Tsukushi heard this message, it would surely devastate her. How could he be so careless? Akira's family was powerful enough to instill fear and respect in all that heard it, but to many, Yakuza were all same. He had never been ashamed of where he came from, had even grown proud of the underworld he belonged. They were fairness in the face of mass corruption, even though many of their methods and connections were less than savory. He never thought of how his reputation might affect Tsukushi's life. She wanted to be a lawyer, but who was going to higher a lawyer who had a boyfriend at the top of the Yakuza chain?
So, he left her. For benefit of her future, he finished making dinner, packed up all his belongings and left the apartment. To make things clear, he left her a note that reeked of the tone he'd used when breaking up with all his lovers. So what if the clenching in his chest was more than he could handle? If leaving her was what was best for her, he'd do it.
But she stood in his way.
He was in his father's study, reviewing the accounts of his latest business venture, trying to bury himself in his work to forget his pain, when he heard a ruckus in the hall.
"I know he's here, Hiro-san! You either let me by to talk to him, or I force my way in. I've ready incapacitated half the men you had detain me. I would hate to have to hurt you, too." Tsukushi. Despite the pain at hearing her voice, his lips quirked. Once she'd learn to channel her strength, she'd bested even him in hand-to-hand combat. Before he could figure out what to do, the door slammed open, revealing a livid Tsukushi.
"'It's been fun? Thanks for everything?'" She slapped his note on the desk, her eyes nearly black with her fury. "You son of a bitch! Do you think you can dump me the same way you've dump all those married women you slept with? Leave me this note…on our anniversary of all things, and expect me to just take it?!"
He flinched, when she swept everything off the side table, breaking several antiques. "I don't do serious relationships, Tsukushi. I thought that maybe you might be different, but I guess I was wrong." He shrugged, deliberating putting insulting apology into his tone. "Younger girls are more troublesome after all." He braced himself with her reaction. She'd either burst into tears, which he doubted as it simply wasn't her style, or hurl something at him and storm out.
"You're a liar." He blinked. Her tone had gone from angry, to sultry. She walked toward him, slow purposeful strides. He hadn't left his chair, and now she trapped him there, crawling into his lap. One thing he learned about Tsukushi was that though she may not have a lot of sex appeal when you look at her, when she puts her mind to something she can knock you on your ass. "You're a scared, filthy, little liar." With each word she kissed him, biting sharply at his lip, nibbling his jaw. He gulped, when she moved to his neck, unconsciously mimicking their first kiss session.
"No, Tsukushi, we—" He shuddered when her hands grazed his side, his weak spot. "We shouldn't because…"He ended on a groan when her hands moved lower. He was lost, so lost. He couldn't fight her, not like this.
"You want me, don't you, Akira." She unbuttoned his shirt, and trailed kisses over his flesh.
"Yes." He murmured, reverently. "So much."
"In this chair? On the desk? So that no matter what you're working on, you'll think of how hard you took me?" Who was this? Was all he could think. Though she had been eager and uninhibited each time they were together, she was never so vocal. "Tsukushi." He reached for her then, leaning forward to taste her, his hand slithering beneath her skirt.
"You love me don't you, Akira."
He groaned, when she touched him, gripping him tightly. "I shouldn't."
"But you do. Enough to break up with me, because you think that's best for me."
He froze, staring at her. Her eyes were soft now, warm. "You idiot. That was just one of the places I applied to. I already got accepted at another law firm, one that puts justice above everything. They hired me, even knowing who you are."
He let his head fall on her shoulder, calling himself every kind of fool. "I'm sorry, Tsukushi."
"I know." She pulled back, and kissed him lightly. "Now, let's finish what we started, shall we?"
Several hours later, Akira found himself sitting in front of Tsukushi's smiling parents. "This is Akira." Tsukushi said, placing her hand in his. "My boyfriend." There was no little pride in her voice as she explained his place in the underground.
"Well, Mimasaka-kun, please take care of our daughter." Her mother said, bowing, her husband following suit. "And I'll hope you'll invite your parents to dinner sometime, I'd love to meet them." Their acceptance, as simple as it was whole, was something he'd always treasure, just as he did Tsukushi.
(-)(-)(-)
The second time he tried to leave her, he tried to make it as normal as possible.
He began taking a more active role within the organization. He spent his time traveling, either training his men or negotiating with other businessmen and becoming the unofficial judge of the underworld, becoming more and more well known for his sense of fairness and justice. He had a ways to go before he'd get to see a clean underworld, but he was headed in that direction. It was all to keep him busy.
He broke dates often, leaving empty promises to reschedule, or leaving right in the middle. He purposefully missed out on her birthday and graduation, knowing everyone was there for her but him. He still slept beside her at night, but she was usually already asleep when he got there and he left before she woke each morning. It was beginning to take its toll on their relationship, as he had anticipated. He could see the usual feminine insecurities beginning to get to her. The unasked questions in her eyes, the worry and hurt each time he left her abruptly. They never fought, they hardly ever talked at all, and while other girls might have voiced a complaint, she had too much pride to say anything.
Each time he had to attend a function, rather than bring her, as many expected, he called several of his married friends. He hid behind the excuse that he didn't want to trouble her with petty things, while she was studying for the bar exam, but he knew it hurt her, seeing him in the settings he was used to without her at his side, hurt her. He could feel the distance between them growing, and though it pained him, he forced himself to do it. He knew that eventually she'd want to break it off, that it was only a matter of time. He accepted the fact that he wasn't good for her, and braced himself each day for her to finally walk out of his life. Though the thought broke him a little more each time, what was his pain, if it meant her living a long life?
Not looking forward to another long day avoiding her, he stepped out of the office, surprised to see the car already pulling up. "Hiro-san, are you psychic or something?"
The man bowed his head and opened the door for him. As he was stepping in, he saw that he was not alone. "What are you doing here, Tsukushi?"
She didn't so much as spare him a glance. "The Edo Temple, Hiro-san."
"Yes, Ojou."
"Hiro, I have a meeting in an hour. I don't have time for this."
"You have been relieved of your duties for the day, Kumicho."
Akira stared at him incredulous. Since he had become head of the family when his father retired, no one had dared attempt to tell him what to do. "By who?"
Hiro said nothing, but threw a quick glance at Tsukushi and back on the road.
He didn't have to look at her to know she was hiding a smirk. "Have you forgotten who you work for, Hiro?"
"Ojou hits harder." He murmured.
"Just sit quietly, Akira." She said, speaking him for the first time. "Talks with Keito-san and Rey-san will have to wait."
He didn't brother to ask how she knew who he was suppose to be speaking to, or how she knew where to find him today. With her status in his life, there wasn't much anyone would deny her. He had yet to figure out what to say to her. He was never very good at the kind of arguments required in break ups.
The silence between them was excruciating. What was worse was that she felt so far away. All he had to do was reach across the empty seat between them to touch her, but the way she held herself and how she wouldn't even look at him…suddenly the small space spanned as long as the ocean.
They pulled up in front of the temple. It was a simple place, the sign at the entrance worn from past winds and rains, but there was a reverence there unmatched by any of the larger shrines he had visited. They bowed to the priest that greeted them, and made their way up a steep stone staircase to the temple.
"I know what you're doing, Akira." Tsukushi said, quietly. "It's not going to work."
They were a quarter of the way up, neither of them winded. "I don't know what you're talking about."
She rolled her eyes. "Sure you don't. Breaking dates, making me jealous, purposely working yourself to the bone to avoid me. Please, did you think I was dumb enough to fall for it?"
He blinked. "I've been busy, Tsukushi. I'm sorry I haven't had time to spend with you." He flashed her his killer smile. "Why don't you and I take a holiday somewhere? Just the two of us?"
"Don't you smile that smile at me. I still have the energy to throw you from here." She warned, seeing through him. "Trying to get me to break up with you, in order to protect me. Textbook Akira."
He said nothing. When they got to the top, Tsukushi took out several strips of paper. On each of them were the names of the men he lost during a raid the last month, when he started pulling away from her. How did she know?
"You were ambushed. What was supposed to be a simple bunk check, turned out to be a trap set up by another rival group and a handful of traitors." She took one strip, set it in the brass basin and lit a match. The paper burned and flew off with the breeze. She took out another and lit it. "Each of these men gave their lives to fight at your side."
"They weren't supposed to be there." Akira murmured, feeling the familiar burden of guilt weigh down on his heart. "I forgot to call ahead. I wanted to finish early so we could have an early dinner. I was going to go on my own. I should have gone on my own." He clenched his fists. "I should have died, not them." Even now, it was such a gross injustice. One life for seven. The structure of the underworld was that hundreds paid for the sins of few. He hadn't wanted Tsukushi to pay for another one of his foolish mistakes, so he tried to leave her.
But standing with her, at the humble shrine in the simple temple, praying for those loyal men who lost their lives doing their duty to him, he felt so at peace.
"People die, Akira. Everyday. All the time. You're not wrong to grieve, to want to protect, but don't you think it's more important to savor life rather than to hide from death?"
He looked down, surprised to find her hand in his. "How do you know me so well, Tsukushi? You know what's bothering me, even before I do."
She squeezed his hand. "Well, isn't it because I love you?" It was the first time she said it. With her it was always her actions that spoke louder than words, but it felt so good to hear them.
"Mind saying it again?"
She smiled, and tiptoed up to kiss him. "I love you, Akira."
That was it for him. He knew he could never leave her after that.
(-)(-)(-)
"What's going on between you and Makino?" Soujiro demanded, one day.
Akira looked over from his reclined chaise. "What do you mean, Soujiro?
They were relaxing at the poolside. It was a warm, lazy day. Not so warm for them retreat into the air-conditioned sanctuary of his house, but enough to allow for a nice nap in the sun.
"Don't give me that. Not only is there an unholy bit of sexual tension between you, there's also something else when you look at each other. Something that sure as hell wasn't there before."
While Akira wasn't ashamed of his relationship with Tsukushi, he just didn't know how to bring it out in the open. He was running out of time though, as she had been hinting of wanting to go public.
"You're imagining things. Besides, how do you have time to see thing that aren't there when you have your gaze firmly locked on sweet little Yuki-chan?" Since discovering his feelings for the petite girl, there was an awakened obsession for her that made talking about anything else, once she was mentioned, impossible. Something Akira always banked on.
Soujiro smirked. "She made me lunch yesterday, did I tell you? Rice balls of a variety I'd never tasted. Heaven in a box, I'm telling you. Walked through the school like she owned the place, told a group of second years to piss off, and handed it to me." A month ago the mix of pride and besotted affection would have been nauseating, now it was just amusing. Tsukushi cooked him dinner, plus dessert in a lovely little package.
"You're the one that called me at three in the morning asking for lunch, Nishikado-san."
They turned at Yuki's voice behind them, and their jaws dropped open.
There stood two girls, both in a pair of bikinis that looked like they'd blow away with the slightest breeze. Yuki in white, and Tsukushi in red. His favorite color.
Yuki laughed at their comical expressions. "Look at the big bad playboys now, Tsukushi. Their eyes nearly popped clear out of their heads."
Tsukushi shifted, her cheeks a lovely red color. "She forced me into it." She said. "And it was on sale." She couldn't quite drum up the courage to look him in the eye.
"Well, now, Yuki-chan. Why don't you come over here and let me rub some lotion on that beautiful skin of yours?" Soujiro's eyes roved her form appreciatively.
"Forget it. I came here because I wanted to enjoy the sun, you'll just want to go play inside." She led Tsukushi to set of chaise chairs a few feet away from them.
"Tease." Soujiro muttered, but with a smile as he watched her walk away.
Akira so wanted to have his hands on Tsukushi, but knew he couldn't, not with their friends there.
She gave him a brief smile from the other side of the pool and began rubbing lotion on her legs, heedless to how much she was tempting him
"There. That look right there." Soujiro said, startling him out of his lustful gaze. "You're looking at her like she was a tasty dessert."
Akira laughed, hoping it sounded careless. "I'm male, Soujiro. You gotta admit, our two working girls have turned into quite the beauties."
Soujiro didn't return his smile. "First off, keep your eyes off my girlfriend."
He chuckled.
"Second, I wouldn't get any ideas about Makino. I don't think she'll be free for very long."
Before Akira could ask, he heard the side gate of the pool house open. In strolled the missing members of the F4.
"Oi, well if it isn't our wayward brothers." Soujiro drawled getting up. "Nice of you to drop by."
"When did you guys get back?" Akira asked, also getting up to greet them.
"A few hours ago, I met Rui at the airport."
Rui yawned, then his eyes popped open as he gaze pass them. "Tsukushi."
Akira felt unease settle into his stomach as Tsukasa's head shot up.
"What the hell do you think you're wearing, woman?" He yelled.
"What's it to you, Domyouji?" She shot back, a scowl on her face to match his.
"You look good, Tsukushi." Rui remarked, walking over to her.
The scowl transformed itself into a smile. "Thank you, Hanazawa Rui."
"Do I get a hug?" He asked.
With a delighted laugh, she launched herself at him. "Welcome back, Hanazawa Rui!"
Akira frowned. She'd never smiled like that for him before. Looks like the distance and months apart did nothing to their relationship.
"Have you thought about what I said?"
Akira's ear pricked up. Suddenly, the smile faded a little from Tsukushi's face. "Rui…"
"I could make you happy." Rui said. "I'd make it so you'd never cry again."
Akira was floored. He knew Rui had feelings for her, but when had he confessed? Why hadn't she told him?
"Oi! How dare you ignore the great Tsukasa Domyouji. I'll have you know that I've come back for you, Makino. Get over here and show me your gratitude." He raised a brow at his superior attitude.
Tsukushi put her hands on her hips. "You can go to hell, Domyouji. You told me six months ago that you were in love with this girl. Don't tell me things have changed already."
He sighed, an exasperated sigh. "I just told you that to keep you safe." His voice somewhat softer. "You know you're the only one for me, Makino. We're destined to be together."
Akira felt dread grip his heart. Not once had she looked at him since his friends walked in. Was this it? Was she finally going to leave him?
"You'll have to choose, Tsukushi." He heard Yuki say.
Choose between her first love, the man who had been there for her since the beginning and her ex, the great love of her life? What about him? He loved Tsukushi, too.
He watched her glance uncomfortably between the two men, as if unsure of what to say. She glanced at him, and in that moment he knew what he had to do. He couldn't let her go. He didn't have the strength to pull back for the sake of his friends anymore, not with her.
"I'm sorry, you guys." He said, shoving pass them to get to Tsukushi. "She mine." He pulled her into his arms, and in front of the people that cared about them the most, he kissed her.
Yuki giggled and walked around them to Soujiro. "Well, that was nicely done."
Soujiro grinned, putting his arms around his girl. "Akira isn't the only one that can meddle."
"That idiot better take care of her." Tsukasa said gruffly. "I'll tear him to pieces and toss him into the Titanic Ocean if he makes Makino cry."
"I think you mean, Atlantic, Tsukasa." Rui said, giving his love a silent goodbye. "He'll make her happy, or else she wouldn't have chosen him."
They watched the couple for a few minutes before retiring inside.
The sunset brining red and orange hues into the sky. "Tsukushi." He murmured, kissing her skin. "I'll never leave you again."
"Mmm…that's because I'll always stand in your way." He blinked down at her, and smiled.
(-)(-)(-)
A/N Ugh. I've been known to keep my character in character, and in my other fic I was able to do that and have Tsukushi and Akira as a successful pairing. That was mostly due to how much time they spent together in that fic. There just wasn't enough time to have them together and keep them in character. *sigh* Oh well, I hoped you liked it anyway. I might do an Akira/Tsukushi longshot someday, but that's a long way off.