Truth behind the Insults

A SasuSaku oneshot

…

In Naruto's POV

'"'"'"'"

These two are really getting ridiculous….

I mean seriously…when are they going to run out of insults?

"You are such a fucktard!" (A/N: so you know, me and some others really use that word.)

"You're such an annoying bitch."

"Alright, alright; can't you two just give it a break!" I shouted at my two bickering teammates.

Sasuke and Sakura turned to look at me as though I had just appeared out of thin air. They then looked back to glare at each other and finally quieted down and went in separate directions.

I sighed, ever since Sasuke came back last year it had been like this. Sakura claimed that Sasuke turned into a different person after he came back, and that he wasn't the person she knew he used to be. Teme just got mad at her for making such assumptions, and they've been fighting ever since.

Of course…I can see through it. Behind all the insults and fighting they still have feelings for each other. In fact, I'd say they've only grown since Teme came back.

Sakura's obviously still in love with Sasuke, and I can tell Teme's been in love with her for quite some time. And those two thought I knew nothing of love. Of course…I did pick up that Sasuke liked her after he first saw Sakura and had to turn away because he blushed. They just don't give me enough credit.

I can also tell that through the insults they're displaying their love for each other. All you need is a little…deciphering.

'"'"'"'"

"Okay, today you three will be assigned a mission to the Land of Wind in order to assist in the construction and repair of an old section of the town." Granny Tsunade explained to us in her office.

"Doesn't the Land of Wind have ninja of their own?" Sasuke snorted. "Why can't they just get them to do the work there?"

"It's called being kind." Sakura responded before Tsunade could. "We do have a treaty with them; it'd be beneficial for the alliance by doing these sorts of things, duh."

"Well I didn't think about that. No need to get bitchy." Sasuke retorted.

"Here we go again…." I sighed.

"Who're you calling 'bitchy'?" Sakura questioned.

"I wonder…was I talking to anyone else?" Sasuke replied.

"Give it a rest, you two!" Tsunade ordered harshly. "You will do as I say with no questions asked, got it?"

"Yes, Lady Tsunade." Sakura bowed her head.

"Hn," Sasuke grunted in his usual way.

"Can't you ever show any respect?" Sakura growled.

"Hey, let's get ready for that mission!" I announced loudly to drown out any reply Sasuke may have had.

The two of them glared at each other again and left the office. Both of them walked off in different directions. I sighed again and began to walk for the door.

"Naruto," Granny Tsunade called.

I turned my head to look at her. "What is it?"

"Try to keep them under control. I don't want to hear that one of them died on the mission while they were bickering and it got out of hand." Tsunade declared.

"Oh, don't worry." I assured her. "If I know them, the only time it'll get physical is after both of them decode what the other really means."

Granny Tsunade's face look perplexed, and she opened her mouth to question me, but I hightailed it out of there before I could hear her.

'"'"'"'"

The three of us walked down the trail to the Land of Wind. It was silent, much to my joy, but I knew it was only a temporary joy.

Sakura looked up at the sky. "The sun looks like it'll be setting soon. Maybe we should stop for the night."

"We'll never get anywhere if we stop so soon." Sasuke protested. "If we keep going until we're actually getting tired then we could probably cover several more miles."

"Oh, so what are you going to do when you're too tired to move and you've got no tent or food ready?" Sakura retorted. "Honestly, I'm not going to carry any of your deadweight, and besides, it means we can wake up earlier, travel longer, and then we'd be covering more ground."

"Since when did you become the travel expert? Last I checked your only job was to sit back and heal our wounds while we fight the big guys."

Sakura looked like she just received a slap to the face. "You ignorant little—"

By this time I had almost completely stopped paying attention, and found a nice piece of ground to sit on. I huffed, they're doing it again. The other is just too stubborn to understand what the other really feels. It's pretty simple to decipher.

"You have no respect! I could kick your ass easily!"

If we ever made-out, I bet I'm the one who'd be dominant.

"Yeah right, don't flatter yourself."

We'll see, kiss me now.

"If I wasn't concerned for Naruto being right here or the surrounding wildlife I'd happily take you on."

I don't wanna make-out with you in front of Naruto; I'd be too embarrassed.

"Yeah right, you just don't want a witness when I beat you."

Who cares about Naruto? I'll do it anytime, anywhere, no matter who's watching. Hey, I take offence to that, Teme!

"Keep dreaming!"

I can probably do it in bed, too!

Okay, while this stays at the range of PG-13…. "Hey, guys, cut it out! Teme, let's just stop for the night. It just means we won't be sleeping in."

"Hn, whatever; go ahead and side with Pinky." Sasuke grunted.

"Don't be sour just because I won." Sakura taunted as she pulled off her backpack and began to prepare the tent.

Sasuke opened his mouth to retort, but I grabbed him by the backpack and dragged him with me.

"Come on, Teme, let's go find some firewood!" I declared.

Sasuke growled and suddenly stopped holding himself up. We both fell to the ground.

"What the hell, Teme? Forgot how to stay upright?" I shouted.

"Go get firewood yourself." Sasuke huffed.

I glared at him as I stood up. "Suit yourself, but I better not walk in with you on top of Sakura or something."

"Hn, like I'd touch her."

I'd never actually hurt my precious Sakura.

I grinned at my mental translation, threw down my backpack, made sure it smacked Teme in the head, and ran off to find the firewood.

'"'"'"'"

It takes three days to reach the Land of Wind, and I spent those three days deciphering more and more of how Teme and Sakura feel for each other. So far they've had some pretty heated make-out sessions, jumped into bed a couple times, and I think by the time this mission is over they'll have kids.

We reached our destination halfway through the third day. The villagers allowed us the remainder of the day to rest. For me this news was good and bad. Good because I got a comfy bed to be in, bad because this gave Sasuke and Sakura several hours to argue.

"I don't think you'd be able to handle some of this construction work." Sasuke stated blatantly.

"Oh and why's that?" Sakura pressed.

"Maybe because you're not much of a heavy-lifting kind of girl," Sasuke answered.

"Are you still holding my strength beneath yours?" Sakura snapped. "I could break you face with one finger if I wanted to!"

"Yeah, only if you had your chakra control," Sasuke retorted. "If you couldn't use that to enhance your strength you'd be no different than when you were a Genin."

This all translated into Sasuke really not wanting Sakura to hurt herself with heavy objects, and Sakura's side was the same either way about being stronger than he thought. On this, I'd have to side with Sakura again. She's definitely much stronger whether she had her chakra controlled fists or not.

Sakura glared at Sasuke, turned away from him, and walked out of the room we shared for the mission.

"Damn, you really screwed up, Teme!" I exclaimed in an attempt that maybe he'd start to feel bad and apologize.

My hopes weren't answered, though, as he turned to glare at me and stated that he didn't care. Sasuke then walked out, too, but took off in a different direction than the one Sakura did.

I sighed for about the hundredth time and fell back onto my bed. I knew they'd be back later.

'"'"'"'"

"Naruto, will you hand me that hammer?" Sakura requested as she sat on a roof.

"Ask Teme, he's closer to you and the hammer." I responded and gestured towards where Sasuke stood just a few feet from her.

"Like he would," Sakura huffed. "Just hand it to me."

I walked over to Sakura and handed her the hammer she asked for. "What ever happened to our group's strong sense of teamwork?"

"Oh, it's fine. We have pretty good teamwork, Naruto." Sakura replied.

"I'm talking about the teamwork between you and Teme." I clarified. "I remember you two were always the pair to make when we went on missions where we split up. Remember how great you two worked together in the Land of Snow…er…Spring?"

I caught Sakura glance over at Sasuke for a moment, but quickly looked away. Teme seemed to do the same thing out of the corner of my eye.

Sakura let out an "hmph" before she replied. "That was the past. Maybe it's not as good as it used to be, but I don't think this is any of your concern, Naruto."

With that, Sakura turned away and continued to work on the roof. I walked back to where I was, which was close by Sasuke.

"No need to worry about her. She's too 'independent' for her own good." Sasuke snorted.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, like you're one to talk." I muttered, and I continued my work.

"Hey, I need some more wood." Sakura called a couple minutes later.

I looked over at Sasuke, who sighed in an exasperated tone, and then picked up a few planks of wood. He walked over to Sakura who frowned when he handed them up to her.

"Oh, look, the Uchiha is doing something nice for me." She grumbled.

I knew you cared.

"Just take the damn wood." Sasuke muttered lowly.

I always have.

"Oh, excuse me, pushy." Sakura drawled sarcastically.

You're sweet.

"Hn," Sasuke grunted, and walked away as soon as Sakura had the wood in her hands.

A couple minutes later Sakura asked for more nails. I looked to Sasuke again, who seemed to get aggravated. Nonetheless, he stalked off to find some nails and returned with a box for her. He held them up for her to take.

"Do you get joy running me around like a dog?" Sasuke growled.

"Oh, I'm sorry if you're getting too old to run around this much." Sakura retorted.

"I'm not old." Sasuke murmured.

…Is Sasuke going through a translated mid-life crisis? How translated old is he?

'"'"'"'"

I never thought this day would come so soon…. The mission is over!

"Konoha is this way!"

"Not according to the path I remember taking."

"Well who cares about or trusts your memory?"

We're…lost…? Lost…as in don't know where we are or going? …Oh shit….

"What happened to the map?" I questioned.

"We just got instructions from Lady Tsunade. There is no map!" Sakura clarified.

"But…but…someone always has a map!" I panicked. "Someone's gotta remember the way! W-what if we…wha…are you kidding me?"

"I told you, we should go this way." Sasuke declared and pointed down a path.

"And I'm telling you that we came here through a different path!" Sakura retorted.

"The paths look different when you're going back through them. The one you're looking at just looks like the one I'm telling you we came through from a different direction."

"You don't know anything." Sakura muttered.

"What was that?"

"I said—"

Now I finally decided to step in…the only way I knew how. "Will you two just kiss and make up or something?" And with that I grabbed both of their heads and rammed them together. Their mouths locked.

For a moment I held them there and thought, with a strange spark, that it was extremely quiet with them around for once. I'm not sure how long I held them like that, or when their reflexes finally kicked in and they both punched me and sent me flying a few yards. All I could tell was that I laid there in the dirt for quite some time until my chest stopped throbbing where they both punched me. I also noticed that the whole time I laid there it was just as quiet as when I had them kissing.

I finally lifted my head up, and had to blink a couple times to register if the sight I saw was right. Sasuke and Sakura stood with about ten feet between them. Yes, that's about right. Sasuke and Sakura had angry faces. Yes, that's normal. Sasuke and Sakura were blushing. I'm pretty sure that's not normal.

I pushed myself up and dusted off my clothes. Both of them seemed to immediately look and then glare at me like they wished I'd spontaneously combust or something. The blush on their cheeks quickly disappeared. However, when they glanced over at each other, their expressions changed and the color rose on their cheeks again.

I looked from one to the other and grinned devilishly. "Well then, so, which way are we going?"

They both glared at me again, and then Teme spoke up. "I still say we should go the way I was saying."

I looked at Sakura. She stared at the ground for a couple minutes and then lifted her head. "Yeah…maybe he's right. Let's go." And then she swiftly took off down the path.

'"'"'"'"

After we finally got back to the village, Sasuke and Sakura went their separate ways. Sakura went to put away her things and then report to Lady Tsunade how the mission went. Sasuke just went home. I decided to follow after him, but once he found out he punched me. I think he's still mad at me for what happened earlier.

I found myself at Ichiraku's. I ate a big bowl of ramen in celebration for a mission complete; that and when is there a reason not to eat ramen?

"Hey, look who's back." I turned to see my silver-haired teacher, Kakashi-Sensei, walk into the ramen stand.

I swallowed the noodles that hung from my mouth and grinned broadly. "Hey, Kakashi-Sensei; what's up?"

"I'm finally on a bit of a break. I see you and the others returned safely." Kakashi answered and took a seat by me.

"Eh…I'd say the only one who may not have come back is me…." I chuckled.

The one eye Kakashi ever revealed to us looked curious. "I thought you guys only went on a mission to help with some building. I wouldn't think any trouble would—"

Kakashi-Sensei seemed to finally get it.

"Sasuke and Sakura brought you into the fighting?" Kakashi inquired.

"Well…they never actually got physical with each other…but I may have kinda started some connection…which they weren't too happy about, or at least that's what they try and make it look like."

"…What do you mean by 'started'?" Kakashi pressed.

I took a long gulp of my ramen before I answered. "You see…since I'm pretty sure your perverted-ness has probably already noticed"–Kakashi gave me a look, but let me continue—"Teme and Sakura are only fighting because they're both trying to deny that they love each other."

"I may have noticed…." Kakashi nodded. "Go on."

"Well…of course on the mission they were arguing and everything. I thought my ears may fall off! Then when we were going home we got lost!"

"Didn't anyone have a—"

"That's almost an entirely different story…." I interjected. "But what ended up happening is that Teme and Sakura got in a fight on which way to go and so I told them to just make up already."

"And that provoked the fact that you may have been killed by them because…"

"I rammed their heads together and made them kiss." I answered blatantly.

Kakashi stared at me for a moment. If I could actually see his lips, I'm pretty sure he mouthed an "oh wow" and then turned to the countertop.

"So…why did you suddenly get the impulse to make them kiss?" Kakashi questioned.

"Because quoting it I said 'kiss and make up'." I clarified. "But then…after they punched me I got a look at them both and…both of them were blushing!"

"…Well I can understand that. You did just force Sakura into her first kiss and Sasuke into his first one with a girl."

I glared at Kakashi-Sensei for a moment. "Me and Teme decided to forget that and go on like it never even happened, you know."

"Fine, you just forced both of them into their first kiss. Feel any better?"

"Yeah…but still; they were blushing nonetheless! And if you noticed Teme's not the kind of guy who would be blushing!"

"Maybe…but if you're right, and they both do like each other, that would have provoked it, too."

"Exactly my point; it proves that Sasuke and Sakura like each other, and that they should stop fighting with each other!"

"So what's your next step of action?"

"My what…?"

"The next move in making Sasuke and Sakura realize they're into each other."

"…What?Can't they solve the rest on their own?"

"You are such an amateur…" Kakashi sighed and pulled out one of his many Make-Out Paradise books. "They won't resolve anything unless you get them to accept their real feelings for each other. At this stage all you've really done is make things awkward between them and put a big target on your head."

"…I guess you're right…" I sat there for a moment and stared into my ramen bowl. I was suddenly hit with an idea. "Oh, I got it!"

I quickly got up to leave the stand. I looked back at Kakashi-Sensei.

"I never thought my sensei would be teaching me how to get my teammates together…."

Kakashi flipped a page in his book before he answered. "I'm just giving you some experience until you realize you have your own romantic deciphering to do…that and it's pretty amusing to watch."

"…Right…I don't entirely know what you mean but I don't really care right now! I gotta get Sasuke and Sakura!"

I started to take off, but quickly stopped for a moment, and stuck my head back into the ramen stand.

"Oh, Kakashi-Sensei," I called, "if Teme or Sakura ask..."

"This conversation never existed." Kakashi answered without looking up from his book.

I grinned. "Thanks, later!"

'"'"'"'"

I paced around the training grounds. "Where are they…? I asked them both to be here by this time." I grumbled.

The leaves nearby suddenly rustled. I looked over and saw Sakura emerge.

"Hey Sakura," I greeted.

"Hey Naruto, what's up with you? Why did you want me to come here?" Sakura asked.

"I'm wondering the same thing." We both looked to the side just in time to see Sasuke emerge from the forest.

"Why's he here?" Sakura suddenly questioned. "We're not training or anything."

"Shouldn't I ask you that? Last I checked you spend half our training time sitting on the ground making your hands glow." Sasuke spat.

Sakura glared at Teme. "That's called medical training. Next time you get a huge gash that's leaking pools of blood you can call on some invisible medic to heal you."

"Hey, guys, I didn't call you two to listen to you bicker!" I exclaimed. "Now sit down!"

Both of them gave me skeptical looks, but sat down either way, even though they were about fifteen feet apart.

"Hey, I'm not going to yell just to talk to you both. Teme get over here!" I ordered.

"What's up with the pushy attitude?" Sasuke questioned as he stood up and sat about six feet from Sakura now.

"I'm here to get some things straight, but you guys have to promise not to punch me because I'm just going to tell it like it is…deal?"

The two of them slightly glanced at each other and nodded their heads. I smiled at their answers.

"Good, now…I know both of you have been having some problems since Teme came back last year." I began to pace in front of them, and occasionally stopped to look at one or both of them. "Well…I just want to say that I've noticed something while acting as the mediator that's really starting to make me feel like Sakura since normally she's calming me and you, Teme, from fights."

"Yeah, because Sasuke just has to be on everyone's bad side." Sakura grumbled.

Sasuke huffed. "Like you're an ex—"

"Hey, I'm the one talking here!" I declared loudly. "Anyway…I noticed something that both of you are probably aware of on one side, but not the other."

Sakura and Teme both gave me odd looks. I continued without interruption.

"I think this one fact you both share will probably be the thing that helps determine whether these meaningless fights are going to keep up or not."

"Why don't you just get to the point of the matter, Naruto?" Sakura sighed.

"Fine, you asked for it." I nodded my head. "The fact of the matter is that you and Teme want each other, badly, may I add!"

A look of surprise crossed Sasuke face, and Sakura actually started to blush.

"Yeah, face the truth! You and Teme were both blushing like crazy when I made you two kiss, and beneath all those fights I've been able to pull out some things that do in fact prove that you two would probably already be living with each other or something if it wasn't for the fact that you're both too stubborn for your own good!"

"Y-you're nuts, Naruto!" Sakura declared.

"Really…then answer me this…why are you two fighting in the first place?" I countered.

Both of them really seemed to need to ponder that question. I grinned in triumph.

"B-because Sasuke's a…" Sakura stammered.

"Sakura's just a…" Sasuke trailed off.

"Right…Yamato!" I called.

Yamato suddenly jumped out from the bushes and landed. "On it," he responded.

A cage of wood sprang up and trapped Sasuke and Sakura.

"What the hell are you doing, Naruto, you jackass?" Sakura yelled.

"Consider this Yamato's promise from before about locking us all up with Sai to make friends." I answered. "But this time it's so you and Teme can quit arguing and realize your true feelings for each other!"

"This has happened before?" Sasuke questioned.

"Threatened to before," Sakura replied.

"See, you two are already talking!" I stated. "Have fun, I'll be back when you and Teme have made your decision about your relationship!"

Yamato and I jumped into the trees.

"Good work, Yamato!" I laughed.

"Yeah, you owe me money now." Yamato responded.

"I know…." I replied.

"I'm off then; just have Sasuke break open the cage when you're done." Yamato instructed.

"Yeah…wait…what if he does that now?" I suddenly panicked.

"You're right…you better make a bluff or something…fast, before he figures it out."

"Damn it!" I exclaimed and jumped back down.

"Oh, and just because I know you may try, Yamato made sure this cage wasn't breakable unless I give him the signal to take it down." I am thoroughly impressed with my on-the-spot bluff….

"Hn, whatever, Dobe." Sasuke grumbled.

"Right, just didn't want you to waste up your chakra. Later!" I then jumped up and back into the trees where Yamato had already disappeared.

I made myself comfortable and stared up at the sky through the trees.

"I wonder how long this'll take. I'll check up on them…yaaawn…in about half a…hour…." I then feel asleep.

'"'"'"'"

"Naruto…Naruto…." A voice called.

"Heh, heh, heh…Hinata that tickles…stop…heh, heh…."

"…So he already knows Hinata has a thing for him? Amazing…."

"Huh, what?" I suddenly opened my eyes and found myself staring up at Kakashi.

"Kakashi-Sensei what're you doing at my house?" I asked dumbly.

Kakashi rolled his eye that I could see. "Maybe your mind is there, but you're here."

"Where is here?"

"Here is in a tree, and I think Sasuke and Sakura solved their little arguing problem." Kakashi stated.

"…Really, finally; where are they?"

"Still in that cage, but I wouldn't disturb them right now."

"Huh…?" I stood up and looked through the branches. Night had fallen without my knowing and I could just make out the cage.

What I finally saw made me smile in a devious way. In the cage were Sasuke and Sakura, Sakura was curled up in Sasuke's arms, and Sasuke held on tight to her with his head rested on her shoulder. Both of them were fast asleep.

"Awe, heh, heh, heh…so I guess they finally made up?" I inquired.

"Yeah, I saw the whole thing." Kakashi clarified.

"What all did they do?"

"Hmmm…they talked for a while, they made out for a while, they made plans for a date, they made plans to hurt you after they called your name a few times to let them out and you didn't arrive. It was quite romantic. Make-Out Paradise worthy."

"Heh, heh, heh…whoops…maybe I can explain to them how I fell asleep."

"Do you really think they'll take that? After all, it'll be all your fault that they sleep in a cage all night." Kakashi had on one of his signature happy-eye faces.

"…Sensei…if they ask for me tomorrow after they break out of the cage…can you tell them I was assigned a mission while they were in the cage or something?"

"They'll know you've got to come home eventually, but I'll save you for now."

"Thanks…and this conversation…"

Kakashi laughed a little. "Never happened…."

'"'

Sasuke and Sakura's sleeping together translation…

JUST TAKE ME NOW!

THE END

I think this is my longest oneshot yet! I'm so proud of that! And I wrote this in a just a couple days! I'm finally on a working roll again! Oh…for people wondering, on the poll that was voted on, this was the results of the "deciphering" vote. Now there's a three way tie going on right now…so anyone who hasn't…I'd appreciate a vote because that'll determine your next story! (Besides the fact that the next thing I want to release is the final chapter of SE:TD.) That'll come soon, too! Well…till then!