This is my first attempt at writing a Barney/Robin fan fiction :) Please do tell me what you guys think, but bear in mind that this is a first :) The first chapter is set on Season 5.
Chapter One
Almost.
Almost but not quite.
That was what they always had been, always would be. That was what they were at the moment: almost lovers, but not quite.
He watched her as she stood up from his bed and padded her way over to his 'for-bachelors-only' restroom. He leaned back on the bed when she had disappeared, and he wondered briefly if she was wrestling the stubborn toilet lid by now, and who was winning ad gaining in the fight.
'Probably her,' he mused, smiling as he heard the tell-tale creaking of the toilet lid, its final surrendering pathetic squeak echoing through the cold tiles of his pristine bathroom. He would probably have to replace it again later, but he didn't mind.
At least, not very particularly.
He closed his eyes now, listening to the steady streaming of the shower as she hummed softly. Times like these made him question what almost was, or if he was content with almost. But almost was what they always have been.
Almost, was what they were now.
The many times he'd had her, taken her, made love to her, he'd wanted to admit it. He'd always wanted to tell her what he felt. That what he felt was more than just a casual encounter, that what he'd felt run deeper than just sex.
But every time he tried to, he just, almost, almost, almost does.
Almost.
He felt a tap on his chest and he opened his eyes to see him hovering above him, a slight smile on her beautiful face.
"Hey," she said, shuffling around now, in search of her clothes and many other belongings.
"Are you leaving, soon?" he asked, trying to mask the disappointment he'd felt.
She nodded, but did not give him a vocal answer. He nodded as well, even if she could not see him.
He made his way to the bathroom, leaving her to collect her things, banish the evidence of her visit in his apartment last night, and go to work, pretending nothing happened. And then, both of them would make up lame-assed excuses to their friends to do it all over again.
He let the hot water soak him, wishing it would give him clarity. Maybe. But as he heard the light tapping on the door, the moment of clarity seemed so distant. He dried himself off, and walked to the door, once again masking his disappointment as she stood there before him looking beautiful as she was but looking definitely ready to leave.
"I'm leaving, Barney," she said.
He nodded, and then watched as she turned around and went for the door. He stared at her retreating form, wishing he could say something more, wishing he could say what he had to.
"Robin," he called her back, his heart beating erratically against his chest. It was pounding so hard he was fairly sure he could hear it.
She looked at him questioningly. Her eyebrow was arched perfectly, and she crossed her arms before her.
"I-," he paused, not knowing what to say, or if there were words appropriate for this.
"You what?" she asked him when he was slow to continue his sentence. "Barney?"
The moment of courage had fleeted and he was left again with a cold fear that made him want to run. He was good at that: running, hiding, and deflecting.
He sighed and looked down. "Nothing," he said, "have a good day."
She smiled and wished him the same before she walked out of his apartment. The sound of the door closing and the locks clicking reverberated through his house, but he was pretty sure that the sound of his heart breaking was louder than that. He was even surprised that she had not heard it.
"I love you," he whispered now into nothingness, wishing he was strong enough to say it out loud, right in front of her face.
But the moment had passed, gone, departed.
And he was, once again, left with just an almost.