Disclaimer: I don't even own the idea. It was from the Nick boards, and I adapted it into a script. I've never even read a script before! I defiantly don't own HOA, no matter how much I'd like to, or Disney Channel.

AN: This is a parody of Disney Channel. I choose HOA because people had already came up with, and it's expressing how badly Disney would mess up our favorite show. I'm only making fun of Disney, as you can notice by the extreme stereo types, the mean girl racing to be the most popular, the over used cast, and the references to other shows. If your another HOA fan, please take no offense! SIBUNA!

House of Secrets

THEME SONG

Well, in this house you get romance

Ooo, oh, ooo

The girls uniforms have skirts and the guys have pants

Hey it's Anubis

The House of Anubis

At the top of Anubis House

Hey it's the house of Aaaanubis

Yeah, there's mystery and magic

But the Drama's the point of it

Hey it's Anubis

The House of Anubis

At the top of Anubis House

Hey it's the house of Aaaanubis

Let's go Anubis!

*Sung by "Nina" with backup vocals by the rest of the cast*

Nina steps out of cab in a pink plaid dress with a belt around the stomach and matching heels

Nina: Oh. My. Gosh. It's so big unlike where I come from, the small town of Nashville where everything's like sooo small! But here in Cali it's sooo big!

Nina skips off towards the house but runs into Joy, Patricia, and Fabian

Patricia: Hey, watch it. PS I love your shoes!

Nina: Sorry

Patricia: By the way, who WAS that?

All shrug

Nina skips up to the door

Nina: Ooo, it's even bigger in person! It's soo pretty! And the door's open! *Opens the door slightly and winks at camera* So I'll go in! It's soo pretty!

AT SCHOOL

Patricia: Let's have a slumber party and invite everyone

Joy: Then we'll be the most popular girls in school, and therefore rules the school, even though y that we'll start failing!

Patricia: Yeah!

Jerome, tutoring some random kid: So if 1+2=3, 2+1=…

Random kid: 3?

Jerome: Yes! Here's three dollars, or 2+1 dollars!

Kid: Thanks Jerome! Your such a good friend! *they high-five*

Alfie runs up and random kid wanders away.

Alfie: I know how to get Amber to notice me now! A magic trick! *pretends to pull coin out of ear* look! My pants are a bouncy ball machine! *puts quarter in one pocket and takes a bouncy ball out of the other.* Good, right?

Jerome: Impressive!

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Victor: Oh, you're our new student! I guess the bell needs replacing!

Nina: Yeah…

Victor: By the way, your late by like 2 months, but whatever, right? *Smiles at Nina*

Trudy: Yay, Nina's here! I'm Trudy!

Nina: Hi, Trudy!

Trudy: Now I'm going to give you a tour, ok?

Nina: Kay, cool!

BACK AT SCHOOL

Amber: Daddy, get me more shoes. Love you too, but could you buy me the matching purse, too? Yay!

Mrs. Andrews: Amber, are you talking to your dad on the phone during class? Can he buy me some peep-toe pump boots? I'm so lonely!

Amber: Sure!

Mick walks in, Amber squeals and shuts the phone

Amber: OMG! WE LOOK SOOO CUTE TOGETHER! WE SHOULD GO ON A DATE TODAY LIKE TO THE MOVIE OR SOMETHING 'CAUSE WE LOOK SOOO CUTE TOETHER! WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Mick: BASKETBALL! WHAT'S UP?

Mrs. Andrews: Here's your test. Don't use it to wipe the sweat off your forehead, but if you do at least you're the star sports player!

Class cheers

Mick: BASKETBALL!

Amber: WE LOOK SOOO CUTE TOGETHER!

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Victor: Let's skip the boring facts! Trudy?

Trudy: This is the kitchen, that's the dining room.

Nina: It's sooo pretty! What's that *Points to the painting*

Victor: The owners, they live in Denver now and are retired.

Nina: Kay, what's that? *points to picture of students*

Victor: The students, keep walking.

Nina: Cool!

Trudy: Now let's go see your room!

Nina: Yay!

They walk upstairs

Nina: Where's that door go to?

Victor: The attic. Don't go in there because… IT'S HAUNTED!

Nina: Back in Nashville we raised ghost and goats! That was our haunted house name! Yee- Haw!

Victor: And the basement is haunted too.

Nina: Eeep! *runs off*

BACK AT SCHOOL

Alfie: I think my nose may be bleeding

Mrs. Andrews: Go to the nurse! Run!

Mr. Sweet: Ahh! Gusher! Joy, you have a visitor!

Joy: I told Mom and Dad not to come on the night of our party! *frowns and leaves*

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Nina: Wow! My own room, not with my 17 brothers and sisters! By the way, who's she.

Victor: Uh, no one! *eats photo*

Nina shrugs

Nina: I'm going to have a lot more space here!

OUTSIDE

Joy: But I was having a slumber party! I was going to rule the school!

Mystery guy: Joy, come on. You can have your slumber party later when we're in New York, New York!

Joy: Came I invite EVERYONE? From HERE?

Mystery guy: You'll make new friends

Joy: You're so mean!

Car drives off

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Victor: Joy's pulled out of school now, mother. What? Why don't you love me now? GOOD BYE MOTHER! *Hangs up phone and starts petting Corbiar) Oh Corry, you're my only friend! We understand each other! *Hugs freaky toy crow, yes Corbiar is a plush in here*

BACK AT SCHOOL

Patricia runs up to Jerome and Alfie who are studying

Patricia: Is Joy back by now, we still need to plan for our slumber party!

Both: Nope!

Patricia runs off crying

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Patricia: Joy, are you in here?

Nina: No. She left. Victor said so.

Patricia: But we had a slumber party planned! And she ditched her phone, not like she won't buy a new on in a week, and one of her many stuffed rabbits! And you're the girl with the UGLY shoes! You probably told her to ditch me so YOU could be more popular! Where's her picture.

Nina: Victor ate it.

Patricia: Figures.

Nina: By the way my name's Nina, I'm from Nashville.

Patricia: You aren't the most popular girls here. Joy is. Now where did you tell her to go?

CREDITS

Debby Ryan as Nina

Mitchel Musso as Fabian

Allie DeBerry as Amber

Selena Gomez as Patricia

Doc Shaw as Alfie

Sterling Knight as Jerome

Zac Efron as Mick

Vanessa Hudgens as Mara

A Sandy1198 production

Should I write the rest? Please tell me in the reviews! Flames will be used to sit around, sing, and make s'mores! :) Oh, and I've been to Nashville several times MANY times. I live about maybe 2 hours at least away. It's a big city with lots of skyscrapers and companies. Not farms and small town areas.