Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman
AN: This is the first L&C Fanfic that I've written. I got this idea from listening to a song by Cliff Richard, 'Please don't fall in Love'. Things in bold are emphasis, or thoughts of characters. Italics are names of newspapers or a note or letter.
Please…
By River Hobbit 216
Set during and after the Season Two Episode, "Whine, Whine, Whine." AU.
Summary: Clark Kent has decided to leave Metropolis after he is sued for a crime he didn't commit. He knew that Superman wouldn't be able to show his face again in the city, in which was why he left… but can he live with the decision?
Clark Kent wiped his tears away. He sat at his now empty desk at The Daily Planet with a pencil in his hand. The page before him held a single word. A name. I can't do this, he thought to himself. He'd been questioning himself ever since he had come to a decision the day before.
And now, he wasn't so sure if he could actually go through with it.
In an instant, he had written three more words on the page. Running a hand through his hair, he continued, trying to work out how exactly he was going to explain why he was leaving.
Again.
The last time he left, it hadn't been his choice. He hadn't wanted to leave. But the people of Metropolis had wanted Superman gone, and that also meant Clark Kent had to go as well. He couldn't forget the look in Lois' eyes as he said goodbye.
He stopped writing. This is so hard. Placing the pencil down, he burred his face in his hands, unable to stop his tears. Superman's not supposed to cry, he scolded himself, but he couldn't help feeling a sense of loss as his vision blurred. The Daily Planet was home to him, and he was going to leave all of that behind. Picking up the page on his desk, he read over it. Finding it inadequate, he tore it up and found his pad. His eyes focused on a photo at the top of his personal items.
Picking it up, he studied it. It was of Lois and him at the Kerth Awards. A prang of guilt ran through him. Could he ever leave Lois? If he had to choose between losing her, or her dying, did he love her enough to walk away?
That wasn't the question, though. Was it?
He paused, and actually thought about it. If he had to be honest with himself, he'd walk away. He loved her too mush to see her killed. So what was stopping him from doing that now?
Because, now, it wasn't a choice between life and death. It was a choice to actually leave when there was nothing to stop him from staying. How on earth was he going to leave it all behind, when he finally felt that he fitted in? Getting up from the desk, he walked over to the coffee machine and made himself a coffee. Maybe the caffeine would help him ease his nerves.
With the coffee in his hand, he moved back to his desk and sat down. Picking up the pencil, he began again.
It was over. Looking back at his friends from the Planet, Clark couldn't keep the disbelief and horror from his face. It took him a second to gain control of his features, but that was all Jimmy Olson needed to snap a picture of the superhero in distress. Turning to Constance Hunter, Clark thanked her for representing him and she would be compensated for her efforts. He turned to face the crowd once again and saw his parents trying to restrain themselves from rushing forward.
He stood there, waiting for who knows what. Unconsciously, his hand began to rise to run through his hair in a very Clark Kent gesture when he realised that he was there as Superman, not Clark. Clenching his fist, he let out a frustrated sigh. It was then that he realised that Lois was standing in front of him.
"Superman?" she asked tentatively. "Are you alright?"
Seeing her there, Clark almost lost control of his emotions. Struggling to maintain control, he didn't reply straight away. It was almost a minute before he said, "Excuse me please." He made a hasty exit, leaving a confused Lois in his wake.
By the time his parents had arrived at his apartment an hour later, it was empty apart from their luggage. He was sitting, cross-legged, in the air, waiting for them. They didn't say anything as they entered. Turning to face them, he uncrossed his legs and stood. Unable to keep his emotions in check, Clark began to cry. Martha moved to pull him into a hug. Jonathan wasn't far behind her.
"It's so hard, Mom," Clark choked past his tears. "I can't stay here as either Clark or Superman. After… after what happened with the court case."
Jonathan nodded, agreeing. "We know, son."
Martha pulled away from him and asked, "Where will you go? Will you be coming back to Smallville?"
Clark shook his head. "I don't think so. I have to make myself disappear, and I can't do that if I go to Smallville with you. That'll be the first place anybody will look for me. I can't put you guys in danger."
Lois Lane knocked again on the apartment door. She hadn't called before she had headed over to Clark's place, but she assumed that he was home. "Come on, Clark! Let me in. I know you're there." She knocked again, louder this time. She was getting frustrated.
Letting her impatient take over, she dug through her bag to find a paper clip. If he wouldn't let her in, she'd just let herself in. She soon heard a satisfying click when she picked the lock. Pushing open the door, she gasped at the sight in front of her. The place was empty. Making her way through the apartment, she hoped there was at least something there of Clark's. She found nothing. "Clark?" she called, hoping that he was still there and that all of this was some type of particle joke. "Clark?" There was no answer. The place was deserted.
"Hey! What are you doing here?" came a voice from the apartment entrance. "How did you get in here?"
Lois whizzed around in surprise. The landlord stood in the doorway, demanding an explanation. "I… I was looking for Clark…" she stammered.
"He moved out this morning."
"Do you know where he went?"
"Nope. And I don't care. Now get out."
Lois made her way past the landlord and ran out onto the street. Where is Clark? she thought. Maybe Jonathan and Martha know. Hopping into her car, she drove back to her apartment. Upon arriving, she found an envelope attached to her door with her name on it. She recognised Clark's handwriting. Tearing it off the door, she opened it and pulled out the note.
"Lois, I love you," she read. Scoffing, she whispered, "If you love me, then where are you? Why couldn't you say that to my face?"
But then, the next words on the page brought a lump to her throat.
I know I can't explain in full why I'm leaving. And I know I should be telling this to you in person. Heck, I can't even find the right words to tell you like this. Before I write anything else, know that I love you with all my heart, and I never meant for any of this to hurt you.
You're a wonderful person, and my closest friend. Which explains the reason for you disliking me for not being completely honest to you with one thing. Believe me, it's been hard living with this secret, but I've been doing it all my life. I've never, and I mean never, told anybody about it.
Lois's eyes widened in horror. She silently swore to herself. He's married! She didn't want to read any more, but her eyes were drawn back to the page. It was then that she noticed that she was shaking. From what, she didn't know. The next few lines took a while to register in her mind, but once they had, her vision became blurred.
Lois, I've been living a lie. I've hated lying to you. And I can't live like that anymore. You must be thinking that I'm married. I'm not. I've never been married. I love you, and I think everybody knows that, even when I've been denying it to myself and to you.
Why does it have to be so hard to say goodbye?
I've explained this to Perry, so you don't have to worry about letting him know. I've asked him to make a general announcement at work the day he receives his letter from me.
I'll be back someday to explain it all to you properly, but I can't seem to do it, not even like this. I love you, Lois. Someday, you'll understand it all. There is nothing that I want more than to stay. I want to be with you, and to share things with you. Just at the moment, though, I think we both need the space. Please don't try and find me. Just know that you can call me at any time.
Clark.
Lois sank to the ground with her back to her door with tears in her eyes.
Jimmy Olson covered the receiver of the phone and looked over at Lois' desk. It had been three months since Clark had stopped working out of the head office for The Daily Planet. Three long months for both him and Lois, and from the looks of it, Perry White too.
"Lois," he called. Her head shot up to look at him. "CK on line two."
She nodded and picked up the phone. Jimmy placed his receiver down. It didn't get any easier hearing Clark Kent's voice on the other end of the phone, but someday, he hoped he'd be able to forgive Clark for leaving. Hopefully, one day he'd be able to forgive Superman for taking a good friend out of all of their lives.
Looking up when he heard his name called, he wasn't surprised that it had been Perry. "Yes chief?" he asked.
"I need you to get down to 7th and Main. Pronto."
He nodded and grabbed his camera.
Lois looked up sharply and quickly said goodbye to Clark. "Hold up, Jimmy. I'm coming with you." Grabbing her coat, she followed after Jimmy.
Clark looked at the dead receiver in his hand and hung it up in despair. Every time he called Lois, whether it was at the Planet or at her apartment, their conversations seemed to be getting shorter. It was like they had less to say to each other, but he knew that wasn't the case. And every time they hung up, he always felt more alone.
He left the phone booth and ducked into a concealed alley. Leaning back against the alley wall, he slid down it to sit. Holding his head in hands, he felt tears coming on. He couldn't believe it had been over three months since he'd left Metropolis. It had been over three months since he had seen Lois, Jimmy, Perry or the rest of the staff working at The Daily Planet. It had been just as long since he had been in Smallville and had actually seen his parents. He was a wreck, and he had no idea of what to do. He had not come to any conclusion as of what to do with his life, other than what he had been doing the last three months. Working as a correspondent to the paper he loved, it was hard not to think of the life he had left.
And it was hard to think of anything other than the reason of his departure. Superman. Looking to the sky, he snorted in mockery. If he hadn't made up the disguise of Superman, he probably would still be living in Metropolis. Or maybe not. People would have linked him to a number of strange events. And Lois… well, she would have worked out that something was different about him. Not that she didn't already.
Sighing, he ran a hand over his face. He needed to get out of there. And he wanted to talk to Lois again. But if he called her again, or even paged her, she probably wouldn't be willing to talk for long. Knowing her, she was probably working on some award winning story. He wished that he could be with her. To be honest with himself, he not only wished that he was back in Metropolis, he wanted to be back there. He wanted his life back. His entire life. Even Superman.
He hated having to monitor his every act of super abilities. He hadn't worn the suit since the court case. He had kept low key, especially in the department of flying. It was a joke, really. It was one thing that he loved to do, but without the suit, and without letting everyone knowing that he had the ability to get places within a few seconds, he couldn't fly under his own steam. And how would he be able to explain the flying costs to Perry White? A thought entered his head, and he smiled. It never harmed anybody if he went flying once in a while. Looking around, just in case anybody saw him, he sped into the air. He soon broke the cloud layer and he breathed in the fresh air. This is what he loved about flying. He gazed down at the planet and lay back, sighing contently.
Soon, too soon, he was grounded again. He was back in his hotel room with his laptop cradled in his lap.
Rubbing his eyes, he looked at what he'd written up on his story so far. It was getting there, but there were certain things he hadn't got on his story before he could be happy with it. Saving the document, he took up his note book and scanned through them, making sure he hadn't missed anything.
It was hopeless, though. His mind wasn't on the story.
His mind was on a certain reporter in Metropolis.
Connecting to the hotel's internet service, he brought up The Daily Planet's website. The latest edition was there, with the front page story written by none other than Lois Lane. It was headed, "A world without Superman. Where is he?"
He knew that things had calmed down a lot since the court case against Superman, but he hadn't wanted to put the cape back on. Every time he had begun to head towards Smallville, it hadn't felt right. Something always stopped him from returning there. His parents had asked to see him on numerous occasions, but every time, he was either on assignment or they couldn't leave the farm.
He was drawn back to the computer screen. The photo accompanying the article was an old one. In fact, it looked a whole lot like one taken when he made his debut.
One where he held Lois in his arms.
Which brought him back to the reason why he was on the net. He brought up a blank email box and typed in Lois' email address. He then added a subject in the subject. From there, he began to type. His first attempt to tell her of his feelings, in his opinion, was terrible. The second was even worse. He couldn't even begin to describe the third attempt.
Giving up for the time being, he stood up and placed the laptop on the coffee table. He really needed a coffee. Rubbing his eyes, he called room service and asked for a meal.
He was soon back, sitting in front of his computer. His hands lay still over the keys for several moments as he thought about what he wanted to say. Soon, the e-mail in front of him held what he wanted to say, barely. He re-read it, and then selected it all. He wasn't sure how Lois would react to it. Was it worth it though?
He sighed, and moved the mouse to the send button. He just hoped he didn't regret it after he sent it.
Lois found the e-mail first thing when she got in. Clicking on it to open it, she frowned. Why is he e-mailing me? she asked herself. Doesn't he know he can call, anytime?
Hi, Lois.
That was some article you've got there. The one about Superman. It's sure to win you the Kerth, or maybe the Pulitzer. She smiled at his comment and continued to read. Look, I'm not writing to you about your reporting, though I might have some information in the Superman department.
How would he have any information? Superman hasn't been seen since he lost that court case.
Lois, I… I can't believe I'm having doubts. I'm usually strong, but I'm feeling so weak. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's strange, but I don't normally feel like this. I can't get you off my mind. But the more I call you, even when I've got lots of things to fill you in on, the less we have to say, and the more I feel alone. Man, I feel so alone.
She could almost see him run a hand nervously through his hair. She blinked, startled.
Lois, I know he's with you as I'm writing this. I know you don't tell me, and I don't want to know. Who's with me? Is he thinking of Dan? I don't need his name. I just know you need someone to hold you at night. Yeah. After what you did to me. Do you know how much I love you? I'm just asking that you don't fall in love. Please? I'm begging you, please don't fall in love with him.
I love you more than I can say. Don't throw it all away; please don't let it go by. I love you more than… than anything.
He sounds almost desperate.
Please, Lois, don't fall in love.
But I already am. With my best friend. Oh, Clark, where are you? Clicking on the reply button, she soon had an e-mail sent Clark's way.
Clark, you're the best friend that I ever had, that I could ever have. I want you to know that what I'm about to say, no write, is true. You are my best friend. Please, come back to Metropolis. Even if it's only for a day. I need to see you. I need to feel that you're real. You've been gone so long, I don't know what to do. Please? Come back to me.
Lois.
Reading the email she had sent him, Clark closed his eyes tight. Did she really miss him? Rubbing his hand through his hair, he wasn't sure. What if he showed up, and then he got to a point where he couldn't escape? Like… what if someone found out why Superman hadn't been seen? Do I tell her why I left? This was so much easier before Superman.
"I can't…" he whispered.