-1I came across a book one day. It wasn't any other ordinary book either, it was a journal. Someone's diary. So I picked it up and looked through it, examining the pages that are turning yellow with age. I couldn't find a way to contact the owner, so I started reading it, curiosity getting the best of me.
I read for the whole day, and late into the night. And by the time I was done, I had tears streaming down my cheeks and my nose was running. I couldn't get the person's words out of my head and I tried to contact them.
This is a diary. A diary of a broken soul...
January 13, 2001
Dear Diary,
I've never kept a diary before. I got this one for my birthday two years ago, and never thought of writing in it until now. I never really saw a use for diaries. To me, they're just empty books that you're supposed to write in. But what would I really write in it? Is there a reason for a diary? I always figured that as long as I have friends, I don't need a diary. Well, now my friend, Summer Roberts, is away on vacation and my mom won't let me call her. I don't know why, but my mom can be such a witch sometimes. Hmm, I guess a diary can do me some good after all.
What do I need to tell? I'm thirteen, going to be fourteen on April 17. I'm not too excited though. I mean, why do i want to get older? I have parents that care for me, and I'm
pretty well off right now. Why countdown the days until my eighteenth birthday when I'm scared to death of the idea of leaving my house and family? Tons of kids at school talk about how they want to grow up so fast. I just nod along, but deep inside, I really don't want to grow up. I want to be a child forever.
My dad is my favorite parent. I wouldn't dare tell anyone that, though I think they can guess. It's not that I don't like my mom, she's just bossy and wierd sometimes. Some call it teenage angst, but I don't know. I think there's something else going on between me and my mom. I see the looks she gives me when I'm with my dad, smiling. When I try to do something with her, she says she's too busy. I guess that's alright, why be with someone who doesn't like you?
I think my mom's jealous of my relationship with my dad. She's not jealous that I'm not giving her attention, she's jealous because my dad isn't giving her the attention that he gives me. I don't know what's going on between them, but I notice the tension in the room, and I see the glares that she gives him. I sometimes hear them arguing about some woman named Jessica. I don't know who that is though, and when I hear it, I just go into my room and shut the door and go under the covers and cry.
My little sister, Caitlin, is at boarding school. I wish I could go to boarding school. She makes it seem like so much fun. I may not be ready to grow up, but I'm ready to try something new. Life here in Newport is so boring, and I don't think I'll last much longer. I just want something exciting to happen, someone exciting to come along, anything.
School is alright. I like to write, but I also like science class. I don't think my mom would approve of my likes and dislikes about school, but I really don't care. In science, there's always something new to learn. There's always a new type of species getting discovered, or a new invention being made. In writing, I can write about how I want things to be. I can write about a perfect world, and everything and everyone get along together. My mom wouldn't understand, no one does. Not even Summer, not even my dad.
At school, the girls all have boyfriends. I don't though. I don't see a need for one. All the boys at school are jerks, especially Luke Ward. He's been after me since fifth grade, and I wish he'd just back off. He tells me I'll come to my senses one day and he'll marry me when we grow up. Please, like I'd want to marry a jerk like Luke. His blonde hair and blue eyes don't do anything for me.
Alright, enough complaining. I have to go, my mom is calling for me. I wonder what I did this time. Maybe she's finally come to her senses and is just asking me to spend time with her. I doubt it.
Marissa
P.S. I'll try to write more tomorrow, but I'm kind of busy.