A/N: I don't own Scott & Bailey. I'm not entirely sure where this story is going yet, but as the title perhaps already told you it's centred around Gill. I love Lesley and Suranne, yeah, but I love Amelia Bullmore so much it's unreal :')

Gill

"Morn..." The door slammed behind Gill as she trailed off from her usual greeting. Her eyes widened. "...ing."

"Happy birthday, Ma'am," Kevin called from where he was perched on his desk, threading ribbon through the balloons.

Andy and Mitch stood up and carried a parcel across to her together, fighting over who got to hand it to her when they reached the door. She took it silently, struggling with the weight, her lips set in a straight line, her expression unreadable.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you..." Rachel sang, terribly out of tune, carrying a cake towards her boss. It was covered in candles, all glowing brightly, and Kevin flicked off the lights so the cake and Gill's face both shone in the soft glow.

"It's chocolate," Kevin announced excitedly.

"Kevin's aroused by chocolate cake," Mitch explained.

Andy continued, "We've got some sausage rolls in the kitchen too; we'll heat them up for lunch. We even managed to smuggle in some champagne."

"Are you... are you going to blow out the candles, Ma'am, or would you like me to stand here forever?"

Kevin giggled at Rachel's sarcasm, evidently in a good mood. Whether it was about the chocolate cake or not, they'd never know. "Come on, Ma'am, make a wish."

"I..." Gill mumbled.

Rachel sighed, "Oh, come on, ma'am! It's not difficult! Look, you just open your mouth, and breathe out!"

Kevin leant over to demonstrate, and Rachel had to push him back before he caught his tie in the flames. He grinned and wandered back to his balloons, letting some float away up to the ceiling.

"I..."

"Gill?" Janet asked concernedly from the doorway.

"Okay, kids, I don't think she wants the cake," Andy raised his eyebrows, jumping up to grab the balloons and struggling to shove them under one of the desks.

Rachel looked disappointed and blew out the rest of the candles herself, then dumped the cake on the desk and sat down next to Kevin, whispering in his ear. Mitch quickly continued with his work on the computer, watching out of the corner of his eye.

"Okay, I think we should go for a walk," Janet walked in, speaking gently, and took Gill's arm. Her boss kept her head down, but her colleagues could see her shaking. There was silence as Janet helped her out, and then the office exploded with noise.

"Oh my God!" Rachel squealed, "Was she crying?"

"We did all this for her, and she didn't even give a damn? She didn't even say thank you! She didn't even blow out the candles!" Kevin kicked the desk frustratedly.

He looked at Rachel, and they both looked at the cake, and suddenly they were both tearing off chunks of icing and stuffing them into their mouths.

"What are you doing?" Mitch gasped.

Kevin made a groaning sound, his face covered in chocolate. It probably was the cake he'd been excited about. "Eating... mmm... eating the cake, mmm... it's delicious!"

"Don't; it took Janet ages to make that!"

"Well, Gill doesn't want it."

"No, but..." Andy sighed, letting go of the balloons, so that they floated back up to the ceiling again. Pink and blue and yellow shapes, dotted around the room.

Mitch switched the lights back on and took some icing for himself, "It is quite nice, actually."

"Stop it."

"Oh, Andy, we're only mucking around," Rachel sighed, but she stopped eating the cake. She could feel her heart thudding against her ribs, and she realised she didn't feel sick because of the sugar in the icing, but because she was worried about Gill.

"Mmm..." Kevin grumbled, but he wiped his mouth on the back of his shirt sleeve and shoved the cake away.

Andy looked around, "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know. What do you reckon is up with her? Maybe she has a phobia of balloons?" Mitch suggested.

Kevin looked at Rachel again, and they both started laughing nervously. Andy reached for a pair of scissors from his desk and popped the balloons, one by one, making horrendous pops with each movement. It probably sounded like they were carrying out a mass murder in MIT to anyone outside.

Kevin coughed, "Well, this is awkward."

"Yeah," Rachel sighed, "I think I should go and find them. You know, see what's happening."

"Maybe you should leave it," Andy warned.

"Yeah, but... well, Janet might need my support?"

"She might," Mitch sighed.

"Right, I'll go see them, then," Rachel stood up, grabbed her coat and her handbag, ran her finger once more around the rim of the cake, and left the room, wondering what exactly she was going to find when she reached the toilets.

XxXxX

"What's wrong, Gill?" Janet asked, leaning against the sinks. As soon as they'd reached the toilets, Gill had disappeared into a cubicle and locked the door. All Janet could hear now were quiet sniffs. "Gill, you have to talk to me. Come on, it's okay."

"It's not."

"Well, what's happened?"

"I don't know."

"How can you not know?"

Janet heard Gill give a stifled sob behind the wood. She suddenly felt for her so badly. Something was wrong, and she was struggling alone with it – Janet understood that feeling.

"Open the door, Gill, please?"

"I..." she began.

The door to the toilets swung open, and Janet shook her head as she saw Rachel appear in the entrance, not because she was disappointed to see her, but because she knew Gill had been about to open up, and now she wouldn't.

"I just... came down to see... if everything was okay?"

"Yes, of course fine," she knew she sounded sarcastic, and she winced as she saw Rachel's eyes change from concerned and warm to cold and hurt.

"Okay," Rachel snapped back, "I was just asking."

Janet sighed and turned back towards the cubicle, "Gill."

"Leave."

"Gill, it's only Rachel, she..."

"Leave. Both of you," she sounded strangled, as if her tears were choking her, "Out. Now."

"Ma'am?" Rachel stepped forwards, leant against the side of the cubicle, put her head to the door. She could hear her boss sobbing, quietly. The sound made her feel sick. "Gill?"

"Rach, we should..." Janet looked worried.

"Gill, it's okay."

"No, it's not. It's not fucking okay."

"Rachel, come on, she wants to be left alone."

"Okay, it's not okay," Rachel shook off Janet's grip on her arm. She wasn't going to leave, not now. Gill, whether or not anyone noticed, whether anyone cared, had always been there for all of them, and they couldn't leave her alone to suffer now. "But it will be. Things are always okay, eventually."

"Fucking Sherlock."

"You're doing what?"

Janet inhaled sharply, expecting Gill to storm out of the cubicle and slap Rachel across the face for her sarcasm and her insensitivity. She was incredibly surprised when she heard a laugh echo from her boss's hideout on the toilet. Well, maybe not a laugh, but something like a sob that definitely held traces of amusement.

The door opened, slowly. Gill's mascara had dribbled down her face, one track slightly longer than the other, like racing snails. Rachel gave her a tentative smile, and she returned it.

"Do you... do you want a coffee or something, Ma'am?" the young DC suggested.

"Yes. Yes, I do," Gill turned on the tap, splashed water over her face, wiped it roughly with a paper towel, "A very, very strong coffee. Make it ten sugars. With whisky. And some of that cake. And a donut – a quadruple chocolate donut."

Rachel took her phone from her pocket.

"What you doing?" Janet asked as Gill fell into her arms. She hugged her; she was surprisingly slight. Like she'd collapse under pressure. Maybe she already had, metaphorically.

"Ringing Kevin."

"Why?"

Rachel gave her a look like she was stupid, "To get him to make the coffee. Andy and Mitch can go out and get the donuts."

This time, Gill definitely laughed into Janet's shoulder.

XxXxX