Lord Harry Stu Potter-Black Heir of Slytherin GodricSalazarEggMcMuffin

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Chapter 1: Harry Stu 1 - Introduction

Chapter 2: Dark Harry 1 - Dursleys Meet Nunchucks and Harry renames himself Harry James Dean

Chapter 3: Harry Stu 2 - Harry Stu in parallel universe learns he is to inherit

Chapter 4: Dark Harry 2 - Mrs. Figgs Meet Nunchucks

Chapter 5: Harem Harry 1 - Hermione Meet Harem Harry

More chapters as I think of them, thanks I will update tommorow!

A/N: Basically my premise is that alot of Harry Potter fics that alter the CC characters (like Slytherin!Harry, Pureblood!Slytherin! Veela!Hermione, Timelord! Harry) are actually just self-insert OCs/mary sues disguised as CCs. I think they should be properly labelled instead of continuing to pretend they are Harry Potter and Hermione Granger. I mean if you're going to change absolutely everything about them, why not be more frank and just label your character as an OC?

Harry Stu

Who said Harry Stu isn't as bad as Mary Sue?

Typical summary of Harry-Stu story:

Harry Potter is going back to Hogwarts. Except this time he KNOWS everything! Because now instead of spending each summer at the Dursleys, Harry-stu spent each summer training with goblins/dragons/house-elves/mentor!snape/mentor!Sirius /werewolf!Harry. Also he's secretly a metamorphagi (metamorphmagi!harry) and he has the backing of the baskilisk/reptile nation on his side because he used his parseltongue abilties to befriend each and every snake on planet earth (Parseltongue!Harry Slytherin!Harry Dark! smartass! Harry). Plus he is the heir of the House of Black and the House of Potter, plus the elder wands, so he's Lord Harry-Stu Potter Black and Master!ofDeath!(biatcch means he cant die, suck that voldemort!*voldemort goes and cries*)
Now Lord Harry-Stu Potter Black Master! of Death Peverell is kick!ass and smarter-than-thou. That's right you can't touch this. Warning:Dumbledore bashing! cos my Harry Stu isn't going to take any crap from anyone because he's too smart for that. Plus RonBashing because there's NO WAY Lord Harry Stu is going to let Hermione choose Ron over him/selfinsert character!

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First stop in Lord Harry-Stu Potter Black...

wait for it...

I wonder what could happen...

Big surprise in every single story...

Harry goes to...

Chapter 1: Gringotts!

Harry-Stu Potter goes to Gringotts. (Wow what a surprise!)

Wow no one could have guessed that would happen. Harry potter is especially surprised, he's never been in a wizarding bank before but now all these gobbledygook speaking goblins are telling him about his many bank! accounts and vaults. I wonder what could happen next?

What happens when he goes there? I wonder what will happen?

"Goobledegooky goo goo inheritance blah blah gobble poo Harry Potter heir poo Black Potter Slytherin Hufflepuff Salazar poo gobbledogook Money! cha ching!"

"What? An inheritance?" Harry gasps.

Oh surprise, surprise, Harry-Stu finds out that he is the Heir of the Noble House of Potter; Heir of the Noble House of Black; Heir of the Noble House of Gringotts; Heir of the ancient house of Salazar, Hufflepuff, Egg McMuffin, and Ravenclaw. Plus he's half related to Voldemort through the Gaunt family and even they left him a few shingles.

Harry is completely shocked of course. "How come I never knew of this?"

Griphook and Fangcrook shake their heads in disappointment.

"Didn't you know about this?" Griphook demanded angrily, of course angrily. "It must've been that manipulative old Dumbledore!"

"Dumble-who?" Harry asked.

"Manipulative!Dumbledore of course." Griphook sighed, he did not like dealing with these wizards and their strange ways.

"Who is he?" Harry's green eyes were wide.

"Albus Wulfric Manipulative! Dumbledore is the villain in this story of course!" Griphook informed the ignorant eleven year old with a sigh. "He is responsible for sending you to the Dursleys and sending Sirius to Azkaban and making everyone you loved either died or gone, making sure you were isolated. You're job as Harry-Stu is to throw a temper tantrum while showing everyone your scars from evil!Dursleys and then telling everyone that it's Dumbledore's fault that he let the Boy-Who-Lived be raised by abusive muggles! This will get him sacked as headmaster or disparaged and then we can move onto the next step of Harry Stu!"

Harry-Stu scratched his head in confusion. "My body isn't covered in scars. The Dursleys were bad but they weren't that bad. They never physically beat me."

Griphook peered over his half-moon glasses at him. "What is your full name again?"

"Harry-Stu James Potter."

"Oh," Griphook said, "That would explain it, Angry! Harry is the one with all the scars down his back. We'll deal with him later..."